Current Events > Need some relationship advice-wall of text

(+) Yeah! (+)

Probably not the best place to ask... But I really need outside perspective. Forgive the wall of text.

So I met a girl in November and we've since been in a long-ish distance (about 1 hour drive) poly relationship. At first I was ok with this, though never really comfortable with hearing about other guys she's with. I love this woman, and she loves me, but she's adamant she wants to remain poly, so this is as far as it goes in a sense.

Met another girl earlier this year where I live. Lots in common, she's close to me, emotionally available. She knew about the other woman, and seemingly was ok, but she's wanted more and is feeling like second place (kind of a shoe is now on the other foot scenario). I love newer girl, too. But its just not quite the same spark? Tough to explain.

Lately I've been in a bad way emotionally. Older girl has been distant, some talk but no action. I feel marginalized. Meanwhile she tells me about two recent guys in her town she dated that basically played her for sex and have since bailed on her. When I needed her to hear me about some personal shit over the weekend I find out today she was distant cause she was with another guy getting fucked. Still... Not to say I'm not getting mine here from newer girl regularly. I just am super into older girl and she's essentially said this is all I can give you.

Newer girl hasn't made any ultimatums or anything but she's obviously uncomfortable with older girl. I think I gotta break it off with older girl, just bite the bullet, even though I do feel stronger for her. So. What does CE think?

Thatuser posted...

she's adamant she wants to remain poly

There's your answer. Drop that bitch like a baby on a hardwood floor.
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Cut ties with older girl, she's problems. Newer girl is much better imo but Def drop that other girl and pursue something more serious with the newer girl. Problem solved.

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What everyone else said. I see no downside to dropping her.
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This is superficial I know. But older girl is smoking fucking hot. Not sure I've had physical chemistry like we have together ever, and I've had a good sample size. Thats hard af to ignore or walk from...

Thatuser posted...

This is superficial I know. But older girl is smoking fucking hot. Not sure I've had physical chemistry like we have together ever, and I've had a good sample size. Thats hard af to ignore or walk from...

She's literally fucking other dudes lol. This isn't as hard as you're making it out to be.
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LostForest posted...

Thatuser posted...

This is superficial I know. But older girl is smoking fucking hot. Not sure I've had physical chemistry like we have together ever, and I've had a good sample size. Thats hard af to ignore or walk from...

She's literally fucking other dudes lol. This isn't as hard as you're making it out to be.

True. Maybe I just justified it to date cause its that fucking good. I'd post pics but that would violate trust.

Thatuser posted...

True. Maybe I just justified it to date cause its that fucking good. I'd post pics but that would violate trust.

Dude you're literally putting up with this girl being a whore just because she's hot. There's a whole ton of hot girls out there who aren't whores. Looks really aren't as important as compatability and it sounds like you and the older girl aren't compatable, she's just manipulating you and you seem perfectly fine with it because she looks really good. She could catch an std easy and give it to you because of her reckless sexual behavior, that's gross.

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lincoln002 posted...

Thatuser posted...

True. Maybe I just justified it to date cause its that fucking good. I'd post pics but that would violate trust.

Dude you're literally putting up with this girl being a whore just because she's hot. There's a whole ton of hot girls out there who aren't whores. Looks really aren't as important as compatability and it sounds like you and the older girl aren't compatable, she's just manipulating you and you seem perfectly fine with it because she looks really good. She could catch an std easy and give it to you because of her reckless sexual behavior, that's gross.

Yeah, I'm gonna call it off with her. I appreciate the honest feedback all

Broke it off with November girl. She barely seemed to care :/ Maybe even sensed a bit of relief that she didn't have to "be there" anymore.

Just learn auto fellatio and your problems are solved

Thatuser posted...

Broke it off with November girl. She barely seemed to care :/ Maybe even sensed a bit of relief that she didn't have to "be there" anymore.

You should be having the same feeling, its like dropping an extra baggage you don't have to carry any more. But, I do feel like you were really into her, and you have to understand, women like that make a huge bang in the beginning then fizzle out over time, where your other girl is could be getting warmed up to reach that bang with you(I'm not talking about fucking either).

So, don't worry over the last girl but realize you're in a better position with this other girl just don't do the poly thing, and get to know her more. That will be the tipping point to help you decide on what you want to do or where you want to go from there.

Good luck!
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