Current Events > I don't understand how people have kids, time-wise

(+) Yeah! (+)

Yesterday:

4:30am: woke up
5am-6am: ran
6am-6:30am: got ready for work
6:30am-7am: commuted
7am-5pm:worked
5pm-5:30pm: commuted
5:30pm-7pm: lifted weights
7pm-7:30pm: ate dinner
7:30pm-8:30pm: MY ONLY PERSONAL HOUR
8:30pm-9pm: got ready for bed
9pm-4:30am: sleep

How do you fit dealing with little crotch demons and driving them to band camp and helping with their homework and shit. I don't get it. There aren't enough hours in the day for me let alone me, a wife, 2.5 kids and a labrador.

Take away lifting weights and sleep.

There, youve got yourself a proper kid schedule
---

Normal people dont work out 2.5 hours a day

Also your job takes up 11 hours of your day
---

10 hours of work?
---

I'd imagine most people work 7 hours a day and work out only for 1 - 1.5 hours a day. That's how it is for my sister at least.
---

How is this a constant topic that CE has trouble with? At this point I imagine its just a bunch of people being dense on purpose

You have almost 4 hours of time to yourself, your work takes on 11 hours, and things like getting ready for bed take almost half an hour.
---

we just don't live your schedule. it's relatively easy.
---

You work 10 hours and commute for another hour and work out for 2.5. It takes you 30 whole minutes to get ready for bed

Think about how much more time you'd have if you worked an 8 hour job that's relatively close and didn't spend way too much time exercising. Those are absolutely your personal hours btw.

Weird how you dont consider the 2.5 hours of exercise as personal time?
---

ShutThe_F---_UP posted...

It takes you 30 whole minutes to get ready for bed

DyingPancake posted...

and things like getting ready for bed take almost half an hour.

Taking supplements, flossing, brushing, listerine, face routine, it's a process

HydraSlayer82 posted...

Weird how you dont consider the 2.5 hours of exercise as personal time?

Because I view that as an obligation. Personal time is more like free time where I can watch TV or play video games.

clearaflagrantj posted...

Because I view that as an obligation. Personal time is more like free time where I can watch TV or play video games.

it's not though. it's your choice.
---

my wife (borat voice) & i want to have kids soon but this is one of my biggest fears, with work/commuting/errands/etc im only home a small fraction of the time, how would i even be able to spend a significant amount of time with my kid

idk how ppl do it really, the thought of having a kid and then having him/her raised ages 1 - 5 primarily by minimum wage workers at a daycare center gives me anxiety
---

clearaflagrantj posted...

ShutThe_F---_UP posted...

It takes you 30 whole minutes to get ready for bed

DyingPancake posted...

and things like getting ready for bed take almost half an hour.

Taking supplements, flossing, brushing, listerine, face routine, it's a process

HydraSlayer82 posted...

Weird how you dont consider the 2.5 hours of exercise as personal time?

Because I view that as an obligation. Personal time is more like free time where I can watch TV or play video games.

No wonder youre so unhappy

Heres my schedule

8am: wake up
9ish-5ish: work
5:30-midnight: personal time, spend time with gf, maybe go out for dinner or a show
Midnight-8am: sleep
---

Romulox28 posted...

my wife (borat voice) & i want to have kids soon but this is one of my biggest fears, with work/commuting/errands/etc im only home a small fraction of the time, how would i even be able to spend a significant amount of time with my kid

idk how ppl do it really, the thought of having a kid and then having him/her raised ages 1 - 5 primarily by minimum wage workers at a daycare center gives me anxiety

Things are different and you have to make a schedule work, but I literally haven't given up a single thing I love doing since having a kid. I have time every night for myself and I still go out and do my hobbies on a regular basis. You have to have a partner that works with you though.

And we only have one kid (and that's all we're having). No idea how time would work with 2 or more though
---

I don't see how exercise is an obligation. An important thing to maintain, but not an obligation. Does your gym have ellipticals? Maybe you can cut down on the morning runs or at least alternate between one or the other between days instead of doing them both every day.

Nothing more personal then being alone in your thoughts and working out
---

DyingPancake posted...

You have to have a partner that works with you though.

And theres also this

When my gf and I have kids its likely shell take a leave from her job to be a stay at home mom for a while

We have the funds to support it between me getting a big raise with a new job and us selling our individual houses to move into one together

Of course for someone like Clear money is literally everything so Im sure hed views those funds as retirement money or some shit
---

DyingPancake posted...

Romulox28 posted...

my wife (borat voice) & i want to have kids soon but this is one of my biggest fears, with work/commuting/errands/etc im only home a small fraction of the time, how would i even be able to spend a significant amount of time with my kid

idk how ppl do it really, the thought of having a kid and then having him/her raised ages 1 - 5 primarily by minimum wage workers at a daycare center gives me anxiety

Things are different and you have to make a schedule work, but I literally haven't given up a single thing I love doing since having a kid. I have time every night for myself and I still go out and do my hobbies on a regular basis. You have to have a partner that works with you though.

And we only have one kid (and that's all we're having). No idea how time would work with 2 or more though

yea i figure once we actually have the kid we will get into a routine and figure it out, just seems real daunting from my perspective now
---

It'd be a lot easier if work didn't take up a massive amount of time. Even if you had a "normal" eight hour job, it's a massive time sink. The answer is you give up sleep and all personal time and barely make it out as a zombie.
---

Just take away that hour of personal time and the workout time

And youll live my life

I mean, I get to spend it with my kid which is better than tv or video games haha

Your priorities change

Tag
---

here's a dad schedule for you

6-7am - get woken up by kid
7-4PM commute work (I work from home a few days a week so that does help but on days I go into work I have a 2.5 total commute blah)
eatget home about 530
get yelled at by wife
get yelled at by kid

read books and play with kid
watch jeopardy
watch wheel
kid bath
kid sleep
dad time

Romes187 posted...

Your priorities change

I was typing out a longer reply, but this is really all that needs to be said.

although I just realized I guess I do get an hour of tv but its with the kid and wife....

i mean you are able to do stuff while your kid just plays by themselves haha

in fact, its probably better that you let your kid go off by themselves as much as possible

Romes187 posted...

watch jeopardy
watch wheel

Please no.

darkmaian23 posted...

Romes187 posted...

watch jeopardy
watch wheel

Please no.

uh your life probably sucks

I hope your wife isn't really shouting at you bro
---

It might be expensive, but you can get yourself a personal at home gym so you can watch the kids and lift at the same time. Or you can find a gym with a childcare center.
---

emblem boy posted...

I hope your wife isn't really shouting at you bro

nah she's cool it was more a joke

the kid will yell though

you haven't lived until you've attempted to stand up to a temper tantrum that a toddler is throwing lmao

its actually pretty funny because they simply can't control themselves

but no the wife is cool

YoshitoKikuchi posted...

10 hours of work?

I work four 10 hour shifts per week and have off three days.
---

Ah yes, 4 10's. I loved it when I had it.
---

SauI_Goodman posted...

Ah yes, 4 10's. I loved it when I had it.

They can pry it from my cold dead hands. I have off every Saturday through Monday because of it, and I wouldn't go back to five 8's if I could help it.
---

you just figure it out as you go. my wife and I had twin boys and yes our free time is basically gone. All day is focused around them but you eventually get a nice routine going. Most of the time they go to bed by 9 pm so you have the rest of the night to yourself to do things. But that time ends up being dedicated to chores and keeping the house in order. I can't go to the gym quite as often as I used to. I can no longer play video games. And we can't go out with friends to drink and socialize nearly as often. But it is what it is. We knew there would be sacrifices when we decided we were going to have children.

I figure as they get older it will get easier. Right now it's tough because they're only a year old and you still gotta do everything for them.
---

I wouldn't mind 4 10's at all. It'd be nice.

I do 9/80 right now, so 80 hours in 9 weekdays. Every other Friday is an "off" Friday. It's decent, but the "long" weeks feel like a drag
---

Not gonna lie small children seem like a pure nightmare.

The good thing about getting older is the single moms out there have kids that are older. Teenagers ain't a big deal.
---

spanky1 posted...

Not gonna lie small children seem like a pure nightmare.

The good thing about getting older is the single moms out there have kids that are older. Teenagers ain't a big deal.

Lol dude. Teenagers are absolute assholes. Puberty is a mother fucker.
---

EvalAngell posted...

you just figure it out as you go. my wife and I had twin boys and yes our free time is basically gone. All day is focused around them but you eventually get a nice routine going. Most of the time they go to bed by 9 pm so you have the rest of the night to yourself to do things. But that time ends up being dedicated to chores and keeping the house in order. I can't go to the gym quite as often as I used to. I can no longer play video games. And we can't go out with friends to drink and socialize nearly as often. But it is what it is. We knew there would be sacrifices when we decided we were going to have children.

I figure as they get older it will get easier. Right now it's tough because they're only a year old and you still gotta do everything for them.

indeed, but its almost like you have to sacrifice some liberty for responsibility and meaning in your life. Its a trade I'd make over and over again, and I'm sure you would too.

plus drinking and video games and all that jazz are pretty lame when you look at what it is....just a bunch of children trying to fill the hole in their life with other things. jk not really but maybe...

pres_madagascar posted...

spanky1 posted...

Not gonna lie small children seem like a pure nightmare.

The good thing about getting older is the single moms out there have kids that are older. Teenagers ain't a big deal.

Lol dude. Teenagers are absolute assholes. Puberty is a mother fucker.

Yeah but I'm looking at it from the point of view as a single guy dating a single mom. Say she has a 16 year old jerk teenager. Not my problem. I ain't their daddy. They're almost out of the house too.

But if I were to date a girl with like a 3 year old or something, that basically is going to be my kid.
---

spanky1 posted...

But if I were to date a girl with like a 3 year old or something, that basically is going to be my kid.

Luckily my step dad met my mom when I was 1 and took care of business. I wouldn't be the same person without him

Romes187 posted...

indeed, but its almost like you have to sacrifice some liberty for responsibility and meaning in your life

Do you feel as if kids and family are mainly what contribute to meaning in life?
---

Romes187 posted...

indeed, but its almost like you have to sacrifice some liberty for responsibility and meaning in your life. Its a trade I'd make over and over again, and I'm sure you would too.

in the beginning there was some regret. It hit me hard when I could no longer really do whatever I wanted anymore. The lack of sleep was tough as well. But now that they actually sleep through the night, have personalities, and can actually move around/hold things and sort of communicate it's gotten to be fun. They're still a pain in the ass at times but I've come around that bringing them into the world has been spiritually rewarding.
---

My Schedule:
415am: Get up and get ready for work.
430am: leave for work
5am - 4pm: Work
430pm: Get home spend time with my kids/do some cleaning
6pm: Eat supper
630pm: Get kids and self ready for bed
7pm: Put kids to bed have free time for myself and/or wife
10pm: Go to bed.

This is kind of generalized as I dont always start work at 5, sometimes its earlier, sometimes its later.

My wife's schedule:
6am: Get up get kids and self ready
645am - 415pm: Work/Drop off kids at school/errands/ pick up kids
415pm - 7pm: cleaning, making supper, eating
7pm: free time
8pm: bed time
---

emblem boy posted...

Romes187 posted...

indeed, but its almost like you have to sacrifice some liberty for responsibility and meaning in your life

Do you feel as if kids and family are mainly what contribute to meaning in life?

No, responsibility does, by definition (as in, you can't separate responsibility from something being meaningful...its a tautology).

And the responsibility that family brings has so far been the most intense I've felt. There are other avenues to a meaningful life, of course.

EvalAngell posted...

Romes187 posted...

indeed, but its almost like you have to sacrifice some liberty for responsibility and meaning in your life. Its a trade I'd make over and over again, and I'm sure you would too.

in the beginning there was some regret. It hit me hard when I could no longer really do whatever I wanted anymore. The lack of sleep was tough as well. But now that they actually sleep through the night, have personalities, and can actually move around/hold things and sort of communicate it's gotten to be fun. They're still a pain in the ass at times but I've come around that bringing them into the world has been spiritually rewarding.

We got lucky with ours...she's always been a decent sleeper. Though in the beginning she was up like every two hours or so...but not for that long.

And yeah once they start walking around and talking and getting a personality its pretty cool. You start seeing yourself...the good and the bad...in them.

Romes187 posted...

emblem boy posted...

Romes187 posted...

indeed, but its almost like you have to sacrifice some liberty for responsibility and meaning in your life

Do you feel as if kids and family are mainly what contribute to meaning in life?

No, responsibility does, by definition (as in, you can't separate responsibility from something being meaningful...its a tautology).

And the responsibility that family brings has so far been the most intense I've felt. There are other avenues to a meaningful life, of course.

To add to this

I think kids and family are the hedge against being resentful, lonely, and bitter when you get to be elderly. Once you hit a certain age, all that is left for you will be family. Maybe some hobbies which will help as well.

Romes187 posted...

I think kids and family are the hedge against being resentful, lonely, and bitter when you get to be elderly. Once you hit a certain age, all that is left for you will be family.

It's funny you say this because this is the main reason my wife and I decided to have kids. We just didn't want to die alone and have nothing to show for our lives. No matter how they turn out, our kids will be the one legacy we leave behind.
---

Here's my schedule:

8:00: wake up
8:10 - 8:30: frantically rush to work
8:30 - 5:00: work
5:00 - 12:00: whatever the fuck I want
12:00 - 8:00: sleep
---

Let me make that a child friendly schedule:

No sleep
2 hours a week personal time

No but seriously...

My own 1.5 years of experience as a dad?

Didn't sleep at all for about a year, pretty much. Zombie unlife style. Video game time went from little to nothing.

The only thing I do for myself is an average of 2 times per week futsal/5 a side soccer. Get about 2 hours of free time on these occasions which includes having a beer with my mates after our game.

The rest of my day is working mostly.
---

My typical day

6.45am wake and get ready
7am family breakfast
7.30am play with kids and homework
8.45am take kids to school
9am commute (cardio)
9.30am work
1pm lift weights
2pm work
6pm commute (cardio)
6.30pm play with kids and get them towards bed
7.30pm cook
8pm eat dinner with tv
9pm spend time with wife
10pm work
11pm bed