Current Events > Hourly reminder that Zeus is a terrible god.

(+) Yeah! (+)

Kratos is truly a hero.
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yeah man zeus was a dick
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> get rejected by woman with a husband
> slip her a lust potion
> transform into an animal to have sex with her incognito

Yeah, Zeus is a rapey shit bag.

<_<

> man shares the secret of fire
> chain him to a rock and let a bird eat his (regrowing) gizzard every night

jeeee-erk

I fear the reality where Zeus is real.
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All the Greek gods were like that tbh. They were basically what you'd get if regular people were given superpowers and worshiped.
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All Gods must die
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kratos actually seemed good compared to lost of Greek gods

I read Percy Jackson recently and he's not much better there
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HunkDude posted...

kratos actually seemed good compared to lost of Greek gods

I mean, most of the gods didn't come close to destroying the entire world tho.

Well

Okay, Demeter/Hades sort of did.
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You can't bring up how much of a POS Zeus is and then bring up Kratos. Kratos isn't real

I still don't know why he went after Hogan like that. Look at what the crazy mother fucker did to Titan's chest -



For those of you (I bet all of you) unable to get that, I'll explain it -

Zeus The God, duh

Zeus the wrestler - Tiny Lister play him in No Hold's Bar, staring Hulk Hogan. Also had a pro wrestling match against Hogan in a tag at SummerSlam.

Titn - A current Luchador that also works in New Japan. Has a huge scar on his chest (shown in the picture above) which he got from an Electric Light Tube

Zeus The God vs The Titans - Greek Mythology. Zeus = Lightning = Electric

Zeus The Wrestler is the one that did this to Titn in my head. He didn't really do it, but it's my "joke" because of all the fitting pieces

Also, none of it is real, so why only point out Kratos?

=/
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pegusus123456 posted...

HunkDude posted...

kratos actually seemed good compared to lost of Greek gods

I mean, most of the gods didn't come close to destroying the entire world tho.

Well

Okay, Demeter/Hades sort of did.

I mean, in Demeters defense, any one would get super depressed about their daughter getting kidnapped.
And, in Hades defense, you would get lonely too if your family locked you in the basement with nothing but shades and a vicious three-headed dog for company. Even Charon probably doesnt visit, and hes right next door, the jerk!

To be fair, the Greek Pantheon is a who's who of assholes. Even the 'nicer' ones often fucked someone over for a shitty reason.
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Don't forget his bitch wife trying to kill off babies. But then Disney comes along and fucks that all up. Hades is pretty chill, irl
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Bad_Mojo posted...

Don't forget his bitch wife trying to kill off babies. But then Disney comes along and fucks that all up. Hades is pretty chill, irl

Stop astroturfing hades.
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Disengaged posted...

Bad_Mojo posted...

Don't forget his bitch wife trying to kill off babies. But then Disney comes along and fucks that all up. Hades is pretty chill, irl

Stop astroturfing hades.

He gives her back for like half the year!!
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He killed somebody in the ring after the bell. I never thought they'd let him out.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=POYGZAIQl2o" data-time="

Godnorgosh posted...


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Disengaged posted...

Bad_Mojo posted...

Don't forget his bitch wife trying to kill off babies. But then Disney comes along and fucks that all up. Hades is pretty chill, irl

Stop astroturfing hades.

It is the truth. Hades didn't even do 70% of the screwed up things the other Greek Gods did.

Bad_Mojo posted...

Disengaged posted...

Bad_Mojo posted...

Don't forget his bitch wife trying to kill off babies. But then Disney comes along and fucks that all up. Hades is pretty chill, irl

Stop astroturfing hades.

He gives her back for like half the year!!

More than half. Persephone is only gone during the winter.
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DD Divine posted...

All Gods must die

Nah.

Also, the gods suck because sometimes they actually lose to mortals at their specialty. Of course, afterwards, they are sore losers and punish them for it.
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Hera: I'm a hot and sexy fertility god that's also your wife.
A random goat: I'm a goat.

Zeus: well shit
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Zeus loves bestiality.

He loves to transform into animals as well and have sex with women.
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At least he didn't turn into a horse to seduce his brother.
Like wtf Thor and Loki that's messed up on both you parts
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I don't really know much about Norse Mythology, but I imagine the gods do wild things there as well.
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PiOverlord posted...

I don't really know much about Norse Mythology, but I imagine the gods do wild things there as well.

Loki turned into a female horse and has sex with a random stallion and gives birth to sleipnir

Thor loses his hammer and had to pretend to be a woman to get it back

There's some other absurd stuff. Mostly Loki's fault.
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Not to mention sleipnir becomes Odin's main horse, so imagine riding your mutant bastard horse grandchild around.
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One has to wonder if Zeus cheated on Hera because she was a poor wife or she did not satisfy his needs.

There is usually a reason a dude will cheat so often, something is lacking at home.
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Megaman50100 posted...

Not to mention sleipnir becomes Odin's main horse, so imagine riding your mutant bastard horse grandchild around.

I don't think Odin is related to Loki except maybe through Ymir which would make him more like a second cousin or nephew. We don't know who Loki's father is, but he uses his Mother's family name. Cultural context tells us that this is basically unheard of unless there was a deliberate reason to not want to acknowledge the father so his father was probably one of the giants. His mother was a Vanir. Can't remember her name.
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His wife got mad at him one time, so she turned him into a swan
So then, swan Zeus went down to earth and raped a woman
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Athena did some horrible things too.
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EbonTitanium posted...

Athena did some horrible things too.

Most of the horrible shit done by various greek gods was invented after the fact by Romans, such as Athena cursing Medusa to be hideous with snakes for hair as a punishment for being raped.

Medusa was always hideous and evil from the Greek side of things. Nobody cursed her to be that way.
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Tyranthraxus posted...

I don't think Odin is related to Loki except maybe through Ymir which would make him more like a second cousin or nephew. We don't know who Loki's father is, but he uses his Mother's family name. Cultural context tells us that this is basically unheard of unless there was a deliberate reason to not want to acknowledge the father so his father was probably one of the giants. His mother was a Vanir. Can't remember her name.

Loki's father was a jotunn named Frbauti. His mother, Laufey, was also a jotunn, so he wasn't really hiding that he was a jotunn by using her name.
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EbonTitanium posted...

Athena did some horrible things too.

...especially that NES game.

Tyranthraxus posted...

PiOverlord posted...

I don't really know much about Norse Mythology, but I imagine the gods do wild things there as well.

Loki turned into a female horse and has sex with a random stallion and gives birth to sleipnir

Thor loses his hammer and had to pretend to be a woman to get it back

There's some other absurd stuff. Mostly Loki's fault.

It wasnt random: the Gods wanted to build a nice new wall around Asgard, and some random traveler offered to do it in a season if they promised him the sun, the moon, and Freyas hand in marriage. The Gods were going to reject the ridiculous offer, but Loki convinced them otherwise, because of course some random dude couldnt build a giant wall in a single season, but the Gods could just get some of it done for free. They agreed to Lokis logic and also not to interfere in any way.
Fast forward four months and the wall is a day away from completion because the traveler was actually a giant with a supernaturally strong stallion, so Loki volunteers to mess up the giants work in a plausibly-deniable way so he doesnt get his skin flayed off by his angry fellows. So he turns into a mare and leads the stallion away and the traveler fails to complete the work and gets angry, but then Thor, who was out murdering giants this whole time comes home and murders the giant, so Loki probably didnt even have to do anything.

It's probably genetic. Zeus's dad was a fucking lunatic. He cut off his dad's balls and threw them in the sea. Oh yeah, and this motherfucker ate babies too.
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Jiek_Fafn posted...

It's probably genetic. Zeus's dad was a fucking lunatic. He cut off his dad's balls and threw them in the sea.

Worth noting that when he did this the sea gave birth to Aphrodite.
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DD Divine posted...

All Gods must die

this concept would make for a cool fantasy series maybe. like something like Game of Thrones but about a mortal worldwide uprising where people reject the gods. it would be set in ancient or medieval times. and you would feature cultures all over the world and many different pantheons. and all the humans unite to war on the gods. there would be all kinds of monsters and stuff. and massive battles. and legendary heroes of mankind.