Current Events > This "Looks Don't Matter" myth needs to stop

(+) Yeah! (+)

I've seen this perpetuated (mainly by women) that looks shouldn't matter, that personality is the only thing that SHOULD matter and it's superficial for looks to even play a factor in dating, even though that's totally silly and unrealistic.

The truth is that humans are hardwired to respond differently to certain visual stimuli (which, of course, varies from person to person), and nobody wants to be with a person they think is visually unattractive. Nobody.

Yet I've seen people say it's superficial to even be attracted to someone purely based off of looks, when everybody that has ever dated anybody knows that how a person looks is the first thing that draws you in. And are looks really any more superficial than some of the other "wants" people look for in a partner? Do common interests really matter if you two simply don't get along as people? What about intelligence? Kindness doesn't even really matter in the long run, because two nice people don't always make for good partners in a relationship, especially if that niceness comes with being a doormat.
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Tryna smash?
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agreed

In my experience the more a woman goes on about this the less she actually follows it
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Looks dont matter, but theyre the first thing you see and they can tell you quite a lot about a person.

So yeah, they matter.
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They matter but only to a certain extent. If you dress well and are decent looking enough and have the confidence, nothing can stop you.
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It's more like people are willing to overlook appearance to a certain point. Almost everyone would reject a completely hideous person but lots of people who find someone less attractive physically and wouldn't usually date but they do because of an amazing personality

Axiom posted...

It's more like people are willing to overlook appearance to a certain point. Almost everyone would reject a completely hideous person but lots of people who find someone less attractive physically and wouldn't usually date but they do because of an amazing personality

Its amazing how hard this is to explain this to people who just dont get it

Ignoring that different people consider different things attractive, while looks matter to a degree, for initial attraction, beyond that they don't.
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Acceptance posted...

They matter but only to a certain extent. If you dress well and are decent looking enough and have the confidence, nothing can stop you.

I agree.

Most of the people I see that are referred to as "ugly" would probably look pretty decent if they properly groomed themselves, changed up their body language to exude more confidence or simply dressed better.

I had a female friend in high school. While she was still attractive, she would always wear these baggier clothes that hid her curves and how well-toned she was.

She probably would have gotten a lot more looks from guys than she did in high school if she accentuated those features more, but understandably, many girls don't want all that attention anyway.
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CruelBuffalo posted...

Axiom posted...

It's more like people are willing to overlook appearance to a certain point. Almost everyone would reject a completely hideous person but lots of people who find someone less attractive physically and wouldn't usually date but they do because of an amazing personality

Its amazing how hard this is to explain this to people who just dont get it

Probably because the people who complain that it's looks preventing them from getting a date would rather not accept they are an awful person.
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Axiom posted...

It's more like people are willing to overlook appearance to a certain point. Almost everyone would reject a completely hideous person but lots of people who find someone less attractive physically and wouldn't usually date but they do because of an amazing personality

You don't have to see them as the most physically attractive person in the world, but I'd argue you would at least have to have mild physical attraction to them.

And of course, a good personality can fill in the rest.

But all these hot girls to see with overweight, chubby guys, I don't think it's totally the case that she thinks he's physically unattractive. He's probably decent looking enough to where looks aren't a total detriment.
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Looks are the most important asset a pale-skinned 16 year old (or whatever AoC is in your country) cis-girl has going for her.
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