Current Events > I went from a foreveralonebitterloser to a successful married happy man. AMA.

(+) Yeah! (+)

I want to bestow the wisdom I have gained on this 10 year journey.

What Jedi incel mind tricks did u employ to acquire your HB8 sweetie
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Romulox28 posted...

What Jedi incel mind tricks did u employ to acquire your HB8 sweetie

There are a few basic tricks you can pull on a proper lady that will convince them you have value and they want your value.

1) Give them space - When you give them space, it makes them believe you have a life, that you don't need them, it gives them the ability to sit back and think about you and start missing you. Feeling anxious you haven't talked in a while? Well, she may be feeling it, but she's probably not. Even more likely there's nothing to feel anxious about. Deal with those feelings internally, she doesn't need to know about them.

2) Cook them a dinner - The first dinner I ever tried to cook was for her for our first valentines day, made a simple butter/garlic shrimp on rice with steamed broccoli. It sounds like a lot and at the time it really felt like a lot. Not only did this score mega brownie points in a variety of ways, it started my path on what would become one of my favorite and most fulfilling hobbies. Nowadays making that dinner just feels like another weekday night.

3) Listen, but even moreso, do things that signify you do listen - This one is tough, but it's really good. Listen to what she likes, what she doesn't like. Every once in a while do a nice surprise related to something she said offhand a few weeks or a month ago. Write them down if you have trouble remembering. This kind of attention to detail will absolutely woo her.

4) You are not a jackhammer in the bed and that's not what she wants - Start slow and work your way up to jackhammer mode. Most ladies in my experience do love it rough, but you gotta preheat that oven man.

These are some key points off the top of my head. I'm sure I'll think of more and add to the list.

Doge or Cate?
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The_Doge posted...

Doge or Cate?

I love both Cate and Doge, though right now I have 0 Doge and 2 Cates. It's right for us right now with a newborn in the house now. I am really looking forward to having a Doge in a few years though, when we have the time and money to care for it proper.

Hey CE, got any questions about life or stuff in general? I'll relate my viewpoint to you.

t_paynes_ghost posted...

3) Listen, but even moreso, do things that signify you do listen - This one is tough, but it's really good. Listen to what she likes, what she doesn't like. Every once in a while do a nice surprise related to something she said offhand a few weeks or a month ago. Write them down if you have trouble remembering. This kind of attention to detail will absolutely woo her.

sometimes while my wife is talking i completely tune out for like a solid minute and then come back in and say "oh yea, uh huh, wow"
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Romulox28 posted...

t_paynes_ghost posted...

3) Listen, but even moreso, do things that signify you do listen - This one is tough, but it's really good. Listen to what she likes, what she doesn't like. Every once in a while do a nice surprise related to something she said offhand a few weeks or a month ago. Write them down if you have trouble remembering. This kind of attention to detail will absolutely woo her.

sometimes while my wife is talking i completely tune out for like a solid minute and then come back in and say "oh yea, uh huh, wow"

I do this now too and I hate it. It's something I am constantly working on. "Active listening" is the practice of this.

t_paynes_ghost posted...

Romulox28 posted...

t_paynes_ghost posted...

3) Listen, but even moreso, do things that signify you do listen - This one is tough, but it's really good. Listen to what she likes, what she doesn't like. Every once in a while do a nice surprise related to something she said offhand a few weeks or a month ago. Write them down if you have trouble remembering. This kind of attention to detail will absolutely woo her.

sometimes while my wife is talking i completely tune out for like a solid minute and then come back in and say "oh yea, uh huh, wow"

I do this now too and I hate it. It's something I am constantly working on. "Active listening" is the practice of this.

eh i think it's pretty funny, my wife takes a very long time to tell a very short story
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t_paynes_ghost posted...

4) You are not a jackhammer in the bed and that's not what she wants - Start slow and work your way up to jackhammer mode. Most ladies in my experience do love it rough, but you gotta preheat that oven man.

Foreplay does not start in the bedroom. It starts in the morning. :)
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CyricZ posted...

t_paynes_ghost posted...

4) You are not a jackhammer in the bed and that's not what she wants - Start slow and work your way up to jackhammer mode. Most ladies in my experience do love it rough, but you gotta preheat that oven man.

Foreplay does not start in the bedroom. It starts in the morning. :)

It can, it depends on the lady, any sexual warm ups I do in the morning on my wife dissipate completely by the evening when we have time to actually get down to it. I'm lucky in my wife preheats faster than a pressure cooker, but also cools down faster than the arctic. So it's a give and take.

Congrats, how old are you now?
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32, 33 in January. and thank you!

"successful"

The bourgeoisie still exist, you can't be successful if you haven't overthrown them
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what advice do you have about having very young kids, ill probably be doing that in the next few yrs & having an infant sounds miserable

my next biggest fear is that eventually i will notice my child taking on mannerisms and interests that i have, in which case i will probably have to give up the child for adoption to prevent him or her from going down a very dark and sad path
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t_paynes_ghost posted...

sexual warm ups I do in the morning on my wife

Never assume that foreplay has to be physical. :)
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CyricZ posted...

t_paynes_ghost posted...

sexual warm ups I do in the morning on my wife

Never assume that foreplay has to be physical. :)

I never have, nor did I ever imply that it was.

It wasn't necessarily for your benefit, particularly. I was just trying to add to the topic.
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Romulox28 posted...

what advice do you have about having very young kids, ill probably be doing that in the next few yrs & having an infant sounds miserable

my next biggest fear is that eventually i will notice my child taking on mannerisms and interests that i have, in which case i will probably have to give up the child for adoption to prevent him or her from going down a very dark and sad path

As far as the child growing and taking mannerisms. I can't comment on that, my newborn is only 3.5 months old, he's just starting to show some personality now. All you can do is guide them in the path you think is best for them, I don't think there's a set in stone way to do that as every parent <-> child relationship is unique.

I have two things to say about having kids. You'll hear the "oh your life is gonna change!" and a bunch of other generic advice and messages. Here are two, from the heart pieces of advice I can give. One I heard, and one I made up to give to anyone else considering kids.
1) Each day is better than the last - This sounds dumb, but when you're living it, it's unreal how true this rings.
2) The thought of being a parent is way more scary than actually being a parent - Seriously, when that little munchkin pops out, there is some animalistic nurture instincts that kick in and you just do what you gotta do without a worry or care in the world.

CyricZ posted...

It wasn't necessarily for your benefit, particularly. I was just trying to add to the topic.

Fair enough sir, thank you for the contribution, it is definitely a good addendum to make. Emotional buttering does go a long, long way.

I will confirm that cooking a meal for them and remembering things about them goes a long way. :)
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