Current Events > Manager is asking me to file a complaint against a coworker?

(+) Yeah! (+)

I work in one of those places where everyone is closely together.

So the manager, and coworker, are both very close friend. Or at least, they used to be.

So apparently when they went out to happy hour something really happened to drive a wedge because they no longer talk and when they do it is argue. It's creating toxic bubbles all over office space.

The thing is coworker is normally a bit...outgoing? He regularly picks on people, including myself, pulls pranks, teases, takes my food with his already-used utensils etc. I am especially prone because I am one of the newest hires. That can be grounding for inappropriate behavior, which is what my manager is ask me to file.

But I don't want to complain against my coworker just because of a happy hour fight. Not sure how to get out of this one but I am open to idea. This has been going on for about a week already so I think it will not end.

This sounds like extremely problems
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File a complaint, but to HR about the manager instead.

Id just stay out of it

If anything i'd go to hr about your manager.
The shit your coworker does sounds like it could be settled without any outside involvement.
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I am trying to stay out of it but it is tough if your manager is the one involving you.

I don't want to complain against anyone I just want it to stop.

Whether the manager is asking you to do it for his personal beef or not, the employee sounds like a asshole and should be reported regardless.
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stay out of it, your manager is exceeding his authority by asking you that. his area is your field of work, not hr shit.
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voldothegr8 posted...

Whether the manager is asking you to do it for his personal beef or not, the employee sounds like a asshole and should be reported regardless.

I think he's actually pretty nice.

He has this 'image' he keeps up with at work but I don't think that's any reflection of what he actually is. I don't want to report him. It's complicated I get it, but he should not be reported for harassment when he's been doing this for years and no one complained about it.

CuteWhiteChick posted...

stay out of it, your manager is exceeding his authority by asking you that. his area is your field of work, not hr shit.

Yeah I get that, but I can't just tell my manager 'no'. He is why I have a job. I hope you understand my angle. I mean technically I guess I can but I can't imagine he would just be like "oh okay, yeah I understand, don't worry about it." Maybe there is a way to say no without it seeming like I am taking sides?

BuckVanHammer posted...

Id just stay out of it

If anything i'd go to hr about your manager.
The shit your coworker does sounds like it could be settled without any outside involvement.

Replying to your edit:

It can be, and that's what I'm hoping for.

It's not that serious, it's just a bit annoying at times. Like he wouldn't take my food if he didn't figure out I have a mini-trauma against that. I don't think his intention is to make anyone feel uncomfortable.

SophieLuvsTofu posted...

He regularly picks on people, including myself, pulls pranks, teases, takes my food with his already-used utensils etc

I can live with the rest, but you don't take people's fucking food unless they offer it.

You should tell your manager that you don't feel comfortable getting yourself involved and leave it at that. If it persists then go to HR over the manager.
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If you live in a state with one party consent for recording, record everything. Tell your manager you won't be compelled to report your coworker, if he pushes back go to HR.

Document everything to protect yourself, starting now.

ChouBF posted...

SophieLuvsTofu posted...

He regularly picks on people, including myself, pulls pranks, teases, takes my food with his already-used utensils etc

I can live with the rest, but you don't take people's fucking food unless they offer it.

In all fairness this one is my fault. He wouldn't do that if I didn't tell him how much it bothered me.

He's the kind if you say "I hate pirates" he would come dressed in as a pirate the next day. Not literally but you get what I mean?

Smashingpmkns posted...

You should tell your manager that you don't feel comfortable getting yourself involved and leave it at that. If it persists then go to HR over the manager.

clearaflagrantj posted...

If you live in a state with one party consent for recording, record everything. Tell your manager you won't be compelled to report your coworker, if he pushes back go to HR.

Document everything to protect yourself, starting now.

I think I will do this.

I don't think there's an easy way out of this besides this. I'm also kinda hoping it resolves itself but... lol.

SophieLuvsTofu posted...

I think I will do this.

I don't think there's an easy way out of this besides this. I'm also kinda hoping it resolves itself but... lol.

There isn't an easy solution out of this, just remember the only facts that matter:

1. Everyone is potentially out to get you.
2. The only person that matters is you, don't stick your neck out for anyone.

clearaflagrantj posted...

SophieLuvsTofu posted...

I think I will do this.

I don't think there's an easy way out of this besides this. I'm also kinda hoping it resolves itself but... lol.

There isn't an easy solution out of this, just remember the only facts that matter:

1. Everyone is potentially out to get you.
2. The only person that matters is you, don't stick your neck out for anyone.

...That's a bit cynical. Not sure if I share the same perspective, but I think I understand your message (better safe than sorry?), thanks!

SophieLuvsTofu posted...

...That's a bit cynical. Not sure if I share the same perspective, but I think I understand your message (better safe than sorry?), thanks!

In the end everybody only looks out for themselves.

I hate topics like this. Just grow and backbone and say no.
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Duwstai posted...

I hate topics like this. Just grow and backbone and say no.

I'm sorry if I offended you with my topic. It is a difficult situation for me because I am supporting one friend as well and I am very reliant on this job I don't want to make a mistake and lose it but I don't want to get anyone fired either.

Wait why are people feeding tc? Did everyone forget him already?
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You should have straight up said that shit's between them, and you don't want to get involved. That's really the best choice whenever someone tries to bring you into shit they have going on with someone else, especially if we're talking about getting someone fired for something it doesn't seem like you care about.
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Your manager can get instantly fired for asking you to make a HR complaint on his behalf. If he's doing that you should report him.
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quit and find another job you know he already gave your co-worker a bigger raise than you just because they were friends

ASithLord7 posted...

Wait why are people feeding tc? Did everyone forget him already?

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I honestly don't want this to be about firing anyone as I had already stated.

It's an argument that went further than it should have which could probably be resolved in minutes.

ASithLord7 posted...

ASithLord7 posted...

Wait why are people feeding tc? Did everyone forget him already?

Wait what? Do I know you?