Current Events > I've had a month full of ups and downs. I'm gonna try and be positive this week.

(+) Yeah! (+)

Lately I've been all over the place. About two weeks ago, I had a really good week - I had a goal that I was striving towards, so for that week I took particularly good care of myself and I approached everything from a strong, confident viewpoint. I kissed a girl at the start of October, because everyone was out at the local races and everyone had drinks and hooked up and stuff - nearly evolved into more but it was super late and we'd had too much to drink - and we expressed mutual interest in each other. I was hoping to see her down at the pub for Halloween.

The thought was to fake it until I could make it, spend a week trying to be a better person so I could see her again, be confident in myself and be someone worth being with - feel better, get better, succeed. I won't get into details, but I absolutely blew it and now I've been plagued with self-doubt for a solid week.

I slept more this week, I brushed my teeth hard enough to lacerate my gums, and I just generally feel like shit. I spent Monday being somewhat productive, but that didn't last and I really slipped into a funk. I spent a while before that really good week waking up and thinking "Honestly, what am I even doing?", and it slipped away during that week when I tried to stand on my own two feet. But now it's back, and it might be a little louder than I would like - and I preferred when I didn't feel like this.

So I'm going to try and course-correct during this week, and I'm going to use this blogfaqs thread to document my progress and keep me on the straight and narrow.

Why GameFAQs/CE?

* I spend a lot of time on here. Posting it here saves me dragging myself between multiple platforms, because I'm most likely going to spend time on here during the week. Logistically, it makes sense.

* I like it here. Sure, there are assholes - jesus fucking christ, there are certainly assholes. A part of me was debating making this topic at risk of the worst of the board pouncing on it like fucking pubic lice, which is still certainly a possibility. But I like it here, and the blogfaqs threads have always been my favorite part of the board. Maybe some earnest content can bring some life back to CE.

Why even bother?

* Why would I bother making this into a thread? Because if I have some way to hold myself accountable, I'm going to have a better chance of sticking to what I'm doing. This thread is a means of keeping me on track, because I enjoy posting and I enjoy sharing with people.

* Why would I bother to do this at all, or make a point of it? Because I feel like shit a lot of the time, and there was one week where I didn't. I want to catch lightning in a bottle and work towards recapturing how I felt when I gave a shit about something. I want to be better.

So, to reiterate (TL;DR)

I feel like shit. I felt pretty good for a while because I was working towards something, and when I missed the mark I felt even worse. Rather than stew in it, as I tend to do - I go through cycles of excitability and depression, and when they hit they fucking hit - I'm taking a week to try and turn things around, get myself back on track.

I'm going to set a few goals. I'm hoping to hit all of them, but it won't be the end of the world if I don't - one wrong move with that mindset, and I'll spiral. I'll throw together 7, one for every day of the week.

* Make all of my appointments. This includes stuff that isn't mandatory, i.e. going to see my TAFE classmates at morning tea.

* Visit the office where I did my internship, and get the references that they offered me.

* Improve my sleeping experience. Make shit more comfortable, and sleep reasonable hours.

* See my friends more instead of brushing them off

* Study for - and maybe go for - my learner's permit

* Focus more on positive/constructive things

* Buy a new wallet (Sunday)
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Ran out of characters near the end, as you can probably tell - a new wallet would definitely make me happy, though, because my current one is like three years old and it really is just the biggest piece of shit.

The OP is punctuated and includes a TL;DR to make it easier to read, let people pinpoint the parts that interest them and dive into the thread that way.
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