Poll of the Day > Have you ever had the chance to publicly say something and failed to do so?

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Have you ever had the chance to publicly say something and failed to do so?

What are some times when you were somewhere where you felt like using your words to point something out to someone in an attempt to make an impression on them that would be quite different from what they were thinking, or more specifically, what they were saying and expressing openly?

There's been times where someone was simply in the wrong and I had the ability to use words and approaches that are a lot less loaded and unconvincingly combative than a lot of other people would use in my situation, but I failed to say anything, and sometimes it is something said about me personally that is very wrong.

So, my example might not be that big a deal to a lot of people. I can understand if you aren't in the mood to feel much for me regarding this.

This is going to be a BlogFAQs post and it will go over the character limit for at least one post, because I want to be as detailed as is necessary for people to understand what type of person I am in this situation. If I do not get detailed enough, people might get different ideas about me feeling the way I feel about this.

For example, I work at a grocery store as a bagger that also does other tasks such as bringing items back that a customer at the checkout ends up not purchasing. I've worked there for a year and eight months, since February 3, 2017, and I am consistently told that I work rather fast and rather well. My bags are always double-bagged if there is even a hint of it being necessary or desired, and the distribution and sorting of items is basically always perfect in the bags.

It usually takes less than one second for a cashier to scan an item, but physically pretty much impossible to lift up items and bag them and figure out the best arrangement at a rate of 1.0 seconds per item. It might be 1.5 seconds per item on average or something. The only chances to "catch up" are pretty much while a cashier takes extra time to type in a produce code and weigh produce, and when a customer is scanning their card or handling cash. I'm pretty good at managing time like this, and stuff moves like a fast puzzle game or something. I'm almost always extensively chipper to the customers and ask questions about bagging preferences and about placing items back into their cart, on-the-fly.

Sometimes there's huge orders that pile on top of carts, and in the process of bagging there's air taking up extra space in the cart that makes the groceries pile up something like 25% to 50% taller. This often requires that I take twenty or so seconds (maybe fifteen because of how fast I am) to dart over to a lobby area to, as I always put it in a rather chipper tone "dart another cart over", and then after the order is one I offer to wheel over this second cart, that is usually not quite as full as the first one.

Well, I try to notice these huge orders, or as I call them "two-cart jobs" as they are wheeling up to the register, so that I do not fall too far behind as they are getting scanned when I am taking off for that second cart.

Seconds do count here, and it is often like that chocolate factory conveyor belt in that one episode of "I Love Lucy", or a really fast game of Tetris or some Game & Watch game.

Well, sometimes I was putting away another item from elsewhere in the store, or doing some other task, and when I arrive to the checkout again, a two-cart job huge order is already starting or basically in progress, and I dart over for that second cart.

Lots of customers are still unloading their carts at this time, and the space for the bagger to bag the groceries is rather small and short. There's two bag racks on either side to bag groceries.

Well, this time it wasn't so much a customer being bothered by the way I was bagging groceries at a speedy pace, but the cashier that was scanning the groceries said something.

She said something about how I should not "throw" them. It's one of those things where if I did things the way some people wanted me to do them, then it would be worse off for most others. Also, this is a very disagreeable employee. (The number of other times that people have vocally expressed that they don't like the way I handle their groceries is only a couple or a few other times, and based on the praise I get from customers, I doubt that it is just them thinking disapproval and not saying it.)

For example, baggers are expected to pay attention to items on the bottom of the grocery cart so that they are remembered and get rung up. Cashiers don't always catch them, and the bagger can see the bottom of the cart better. The customer doesn't always remember to mention them. This cashier has gotten snippy with me for doing my job and has literally stated "You a bagger" as in, I should not worry about that.

Well, about thirty seconds to maybe a minute after she told me to not "throw" the grocery items, and also after the customer didn't mention anything, I hear this from her:

"He doesn't throw white people's groceries".

For reference, I am a white male, very young-looking, skinny, age 27, and almost always... almost exceedingly chipper at my job, going out of my way to offer help to customers that they wouldn't even think to ask for, pretty much.

I'm the only bagger who has figured out how to get the bags to, in my phrasing "unsticky", so that they don't trail off extras like paper dolls, or like a Kleenex tissue box taking an extra tissue when you were trying to just take one (as much). In times where there is not even a spare three seconds to place that trailed-off bag back onto the rack, most baggers allow them to add up and end up stuffing them underneath the bagging area where dirt accumulates, where bits of onion skin and bits of parsley fall beneath the end of the conveyor belt. This is where many baggers that are not me can waste literal dozens of bags in a single hour or in a single of my thirty-minute lunch breaks, by crumpling them up and dirtying them to make them unsuitable for paying customers. I instead just find a place to the side to place the down, and then as soon as I can, try and salvage them back onto the racks oor just use the bags by putting items into them.

The cashier is a black, like almost all of the employees at my grocery store. Over half of the customers are black. The cashier, is, for reference least fifty years of age, meaning that she is not a young person. The customer was a black male, at least thirty years old. Also for reference, most of the co-workers, employees and customers definitely like me.

I'm definitely too busy to develop the double-standard that she, the cashier, not the customer, is accusing me of. I just don't have time to sit there and think "oh look a white customer with lots of grocery items that will require me to hurry to get done before their transaction is finished without them waiting too long for me to finish bagging!"

(Not that this is really that stressful of a thing. I personally am always self-conscious about how long I am keeping customers waiting, even with me being much faster than anyone else there. It's a job, and I do it well, and if I want more money and/or want to do something else for a living, I can go look for some other job)

"...I am going to be more courteous to them because they are the same racial group as me!",

and then for black people think:

"It sure is inconvenient when black people buy a ton of groceries at once. Ugh, this stuff is going to pile up even if I hurry with bagging them as fast as I can. Honestly, these are black people; if I feel like it, I probably should just throw them around. I should be able to get away with lobbing bags and items into the cart a foot or two away to have them land in their as casually as crumpled-up paper into a wastebasket, because moving my arms or body a bit further to properly place them in is not something black people deserve. They are inconvenient, I don't like them. They take up space, and even tho they are paying customers, if they just went away, then superior white customers would take their place and spend just as much money."

I'm familiar with the notion of "subconscious" racism and whatnot. I'm too busy even for that. I don't have the time to any hypothetical "be a worse employee to this customer based solely on what race they belong to" switch on and off, with the stream of customers going to-and-fro from black to white (and some neither) rather rapidly.

Also, the cashier here doesn't usually work as a cashier; she has been in the back produce room for at least a month, and overall with her experience with me definitely does not have enough experience with me as a bagger to observe such double-standards. She simply doesn't have a proper sample size. Also to be fair, white customers don't do the huge orders that require me to work hastily, as often as black customers.

That sort of racial discrimination is just not something I have time to specifically develop. Do I notice stuff that distinguishes people racially when I am in the store with a large sample size of people from multiple socioeconomic classes? Well, yes, and they aren't always so positive. I notice that black people smoke cigarettes more often, and not just menthols. A lot of stereotypes are true and whatnot. I sure don't talk about this. I don't see the point in saying something unproductive.

What particularly frustrates me is that I failed to say anything. I am a smart enough person where I could've remarked back without sounding too defensive where I wouldn't be taken seriously.

Also, several seconds later, while I was failing to call the cashier out on her falsehood, the customer, who never did complain about the way about how I was gathering up his bagged groceries, said something that I am getting less and less surprised by:

"They be crazy about Trump."

I'm not sure what other dialogue was exchanged in between "He doesn't throw white people's groceries" and that. I was in the middle of being much more busy with my hands and eyes than the cashier was to really stop and protest. If me potentially taking away concentration from my work, to point out how wrong she was with language that is straightforward and rebuking and doesn't have "white male fragility" or "white tears" or whatever, if that would potentially slow my work down, then it would be fulfilling their prophecy that I don't treat black customers good enough because I prioritized calling them out on their bullshit (even with well-thought-out words) over serving them as efficiently as possible.

Anyway, I could've mentioned the stuff that I disagree with the Trump administration on, directly to the guy's face and addressed him about it. I just got unsure about which point to bring up first, that point, or the lie about me "not throwing white people's groceries" because I definitely also very occasionally allow white people's not-too-fragile items to catch an inch or two of air before touching the end of the conveyor belt area again, or into the carts, if it means not keeping them waiting for all the groceries to make it into their cart(s).

I could've said something along the lines of, for starters, "Huh, hello there, sir. So, you're just going to take her word for it? How do you know if she has enough experience with me, seeing that?"

What bothers me the most is that because I did not call them out on their bullshit, the customer will go on his merry way forever believing that one cashier was telling the truth. It's a bad racial impression that was made not because I did anything wrong, but because someone else did something wrong and I did not call them out on it.

This sort of behavior among black people is... (and I know this is a subjective measurement) common where I am, in Indianapolis, and I feel that most people, whether it be white people, other black people, or different racial groups, who want be critical and provide rebukes or rebuttals or whatever arguments... they aren't very good at it. I'm familiar with all the various stupid pitfalls that those people make. Like how black people aren't allowed to complain about anything racial happening to them until they "stop killing each other" and "black-on-black violence" and whatnot. That is bringing up a separate thing to shame people into not being critical about the actual thing that is being argued about.

I'd rather get people to really think about what it is that they just said they they believe by asking them more questions about it, rather than just saying that they are wrong for saying something I don't like hearing.

So, feel free to talk about this and do the opposite of circlejerking me. And go through my activity to see what my comments are like on other things, in case this post in and of itself isn't something you are prepared to criticize.

I'm sure there's stuff that is an even bigger deal that the people reading this have to talk about in regards to the topic title (Have you ever had the chance to publicly say something and failed to do so?) and opening paragraph.

END OF SERIES OF OPENING POSTS.

look at all your words
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I didn't read all that and I doubt anyone will

There ain't no gotdang way.
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SkynyrdRocker posted...

I didn't read all that and I doubt anyone will

I did...
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Huh, now I know how people feel when I post topics.
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Anyway, I think this whole thing is pretty normal. People don't always say something back. TBH, I'm not sure if it would have been better or not. But I guess that also depends on what you would have said.
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Yikes
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