Current Events > Friend at the gym ignores me ever since he learned I'm gay

(+) Yeah! (+)

He just walks past me without greeting me, and if i see him when i get at the gym, he turns away when he notices me before I'm able to wave to him. This only started after he found out from another friend that I'm gay. He doesn't realize I know he learned I'm gay. He responds if I greet him up in person, but never starts a conversation.

I cant say for sure that he is ignoring me because I'm gay but it feels like it :/ we were friendly until now. There was one time he got defensive when he misheard me and thought I was saying he was gay.

Maybe I'm just misinterpreting it. But it's pretty lame if true
---

Guess he wasnt a real friend then.

His loss
---

He doesn't want to associate with homosexual men and you'll just need to accept that
---

some men get antsy when they think other guys are checking them out. just tell him you think he's ugly, might fix everything.

alternatively.

solosnake posted...

Guess he wasnt a real friend then.

His loss

---

solosnake posted...

Guess he wasnt a real friend then.

His loss

This.

Really sorry to hear about that though TC. Homophobia sucks. I've dealt with it a lot and it never really gets any easier.

The best advice I can give is that, if he's letting something like that bother him, he's probably a shitty person and you're better off without him. I know that doesn't make it an easier pill to swallow, though.
---

glitteringfairy posted...

He doesn't want to associate with homosexual men and you'll just need to accept that

Unfortunately this, but if that's the only reason they have to ignore you then they sound like an objectively terrible person.

Edit: You could ask though. Simply asking why he's gotten so distant might give you some closure on the subject.
---

You probably creep him out in the locker room
---

monkmith posted...

some men get antsy when they think other guys are checking them out

it could be this, and sadly i'm guilty of this
i know and am friends with gay people and really don't consider them any different, but it is a different scenario if i ever suspect one of them is into me. same with friends that are girls that i'm not into, and i suspect they're into me.

i have a feeling anyone feels the same way about anyone being attracted to them. girls must deal with it constantly.
---

Thats a bummer man, we got a gay guy at work (hes pretty open lmao) and we treat him like one of the boys. Some people just suck.

glitteringfairy posted...

He doesn't want to associate with homosexual men and you'll just need to accept that

---

Hairistotle posted...

i feel like it doesnt really need to be said but

if a guy is gay that doesnt mean he's automatically into u

This. Tell him he needs to get over himself and that his 5/10 ass needs to get out of an 8/10 mindset.
---

Id just say, hey man, Im gay, but I appreciate you as a friend.
---

people like to pretend that they dont care what sexuality somebody is; but then as soon as they find out someone they know is gay, or bi, or whatever, they start acting different towards them (not always in a bad way necessarily, but it always seems to change relationship/friendship dynamics). its annoying.

and it can make coming out to people really daunting.

sometimes i dont know if its worth opening up to people about my sexuality
---

Fuck him.
---

SquirrelyDan posted...

Fuck him.

He's not gay, damn it.
---

Wetterdew posted...

He just walks past me without greeting me, and if i see him when i get at the gym, he turns away when he notices me before I'm able to wave to him. This only started after he found out from another friend that I'm gay. He doesn't realize I know he learned I'm gay. He responds if I greet him up in person, but never starts a conversation.

I cant say for sure that he is ignoring me because I'm gay but it feels like it :/ we were friendly until now. There was one time he got defensive when he misheard me and thought I was saying he was gay.

Maybe I'm just misinterpreting it. But it's pretty lame if true

if theyre straight, its not always a matter of hate if they suddenly cut socializing with you over your revealed sexuality

i know what it looks like, but real hate is about antagonizing and eventual harassment
ignoring or ghosting you isn't automatically hate

look at it from his side
he might be misinterpreting your friendly past behavior as trying to flirt with him after thinkin back about it
so he might be duckin you to avoid sendin the wrong message like hes into it
not everyones got the strength to get past their insecurities, its bein human

yes its a matter of straight fragility, but it's not necessarily a case of him being disgusted with you
he just might not how to proceed with you besides duckin out cause its too awkward for him
oh well it is what it is

ive had girl friends ghost me too once they found out im lesbian
suddenly months of sisterhood gets turned into suspicion about me flirtin with them the whole time
i dont hate them for it, i just pity them for bein paranoid like that and hope they calm the fuck down
if they don't gimme a chance to clarify things between us i just say see ya byebye

i learned usin a mutual friend as a go between can help a lot if youre gettin the silent treatment
but give up when not even that works, its not worth it
---

solosnake posted...

Guess he wasnt a real friend then.

---

Vicious_Dios posted...

glitteringfairy posted...

He doesn't want to associate with homosexual men and you'll just need to accept that

---

Vicious_Dios posted...

SquirrelyDan posted...

Fuck him.

He's not gay, damn it.

Right. Dang.
---