Current Events > I fart and burp all the time.

(+) Yeah! (+)

I seem to have gas constantly, and I release it in some form approximately every five minutes. Apparently I do it in my sleep too.

If I'm on my own, surrounded by family or friends, I fart loudly without any attempt to conceal it. If I'm in public, I still fart and burp but quieter. Even at work and in meetings I fart but I just do it quieter. They almost never smell, and even if they do it's pretty mild and passes quickly.

There are only very rare circumstances in which I'll hold it in, and the conditions have to meet all of the following criteria:

* I have eaten spicy food or drank lots of beer the night before
* I have farted a few times already and they fucking stink
* I'm in a social environment with people I'm not totally comfortable with