Current Events > It's funny how in Western media, it's about choosing your wife over your mother.

(+) Yeah! (+)

While in Arab media and daily life, it's always about putting your mother first, even in front of your wife, no matter what.

A lot of shows and movies in America have that conflict of the woman's boyfriend/husband being overly attached to his mother, and at the end of the episode/movie it's about the guy finally "growing up" and giving his mother a piece of his mind to not disrespect his wife, standing up for his wife and winning back her heart, that sort of thing. Like a rite of passage. Completely the opposite when it comes to the Arab world.

It's just interesting being raised in both cultures and seeing the disparity between the two. In the age old question of who would you choose to save on a sinking boat, your wife or your mother, all Arab men always say mother without hesitation. Can you guess why?
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Men marry women who remind them of their mothers - Freud
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They must have hot moms or something idk
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I respect my wife and mother, but at the end of the day, I'm going to side with my wife. Luckily, they get along well.

The West has the classic "wicked step-mother" or "wicked mother-in-law" tropes going on, I doubt that helps.
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Mama's boys make me wanna throw up
I mean if you love her so much just go live in her basement and jerk off to the shrine of a likely emotionally manipulative person that puts you in situations that inevitably cause marital problems
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Your wife is your queen, your right hand, the mother of your children. That's what oath you took at the alter.
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saspa posted...

While in Arab media and daily life, it's always about putting your mother first, even in front of your wife, no matter what.

A lot of shows and movies in America have that conflict of the woman's boyfriend/husband being overly attached to his mother, and at the end of the episode/movie it's about the guy finally "growing up" and giving his mother a piece of his mind to not disrespect his wife, standing up for his wife and winning back her heart, that sort of thing. Like a rite of passage. Completely the opposite when it comes to the Arab world.

It's just interesting being raised in both cultures and seeing the disparity between the two. In the age old question of who would you choose to save on a sinking boat, your wife or your mother, all Arab men always say mother without hesitation. Can you guess why?

I dont know precisely what youre getting at but Ill take a guess. Lets look at this link:

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Legality_of_polygamy

Polygamy is legal in basically all of the Arab world, so Im guessing that the attachment to your mom would always feel more concrete than the attachment to a wife as there could always be other wives in the picture potentially.
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Arab culture doesn't respect their wives as much is the reason.

Isn't the concept of romantic marriage not big in the Arab world?
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HylianFox posted...

Men marry women who remind them of their mothers - Freud

Fuck that! My mom was a fucking horrible bill payer.
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Very true. I read a lot of Quora (because I'm mentally ill) and I hear indian (arab? I don't always know) women complaining about this all the time. Their families agree to let their son and daughter get married, and then the new wife is expected to assimilate into the man's family while getting no respect until they have children.

Personally it makes me reconsider how my life would go if my family were playing under different rules and it would have sucked. In America we definitely expect the family to be "parents+kids" and the grandparents shouldn't be a big part unless you're a screw up.
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I was just hoping if anyone could guess the logic of why all the men said mother in that situation.
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Kolibri X posted...

Your wife is your queen, your right hand, the mother of your children. That's what oath you took at the alter.

In Arab (or rather more specifically Arab Muslim) society you actually marry the father of the bride, not so much the woman herself. You and the dad basically stand in front of the Imam (or let's just use your terminology, priest) and you consent to marrying her and promise to take care of her yada yada yada. Then the priest declares you married, you may now kiss the father, etc.

So... take that how you will.
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China too, I think.

Somewhat in Nigeria.
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Basically paternalism vs. feminism.
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masticatingman posted...

so Im guessing that the attachment to your mom would always feel more concrete than the attachment to a wife as there could always be other wives in the picture potentially.

That's... a really good guess. Huh.
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Give up. Answer?
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Basically what he said. You can always marry another wife, but you only have one mother.

See it's kinda tied into the religion, the fact that the role of a mother is the highest honor bestowed upon a woman in the Arab culture. Not whether she becomes a doctor, nobel prize winner or anything like that, but when she becomes a mother.
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saspa posted...

Basically what he said. You can always marry another wife, but you only have one mother.

See it's kinda tied into the religion, the fact that the role of a mother is the highest honor bestowed upon a woman in the Arab culture. Not whether she becomes a doctor, nobel prize winner or anything like that, but when she becomes a mother.

Each to their own I suppose.
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HylianFox posted...

Men marry women who remind them of their mothers - Freud

I hope that intelligence and a short stature are all my wife will have in common with my mother.

I think marrying a taller woman would be better because besides the insecurity thing, you would have taller sons.
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That's cause in the west you gotta put up with yer bitchy step mom and it just puts you off moms in general.
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saspa posted...

I think marrying a taller woman would be better because besides the insecurity thing, you would have taller sons.

You reek of sexism.

What about the daughters?
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For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife;

And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh.
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saspa posted...

all Arab men always say mother without hesitation. Can you guess why?

Because in the Arab world wives are a dime a dozen, but you only get one mother?
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saspa posted...

I think marrying a taller woman would be better because besides the insecurity thing, you would have taller sons.

Taller women are sexier (5'6 - 5'10), but I almost always end up with 5'4" and shorter... but oh well, doesn't stop me from dating them.
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Most Arabs I know have adapted to Western culture and side with their wife. I can guarantee you if my brother chose my mom over his wife, his ass would be out on the streets so fast.

Personally, Im all about respecting your family and that includes in laws. But Id never touch a mommas boy with a ten foot pole.

joestarrr posted...

Mama's boys make me wanna throw up

Agreed

Cleo_II posted...

Most Arabs I know have adapted to Western culture and side with their wife. I can guarantee you if my brother chose my mom over his wife, his ass would be out on the streets so fast.

Personally, Im all about respecting your family and that includes in laws. But Id never touch a mommas boy with a ten foot pole.

Nor would they touch you with theirs.
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CanuckCowboy posted...

That's cause in the west you gotta put up with yer bitchy step mom and it just puts you off moms in general.

I thought only disney hated stepmoms why do you call them bitchy?
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