Current Events > $5millions OR the ability to talk to animals (and to some extent,influence them)

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stone
08/25/18 12:11:49 PM
#1:


Monies or Dr. Dolittle? - Results (4 votes)
Show me the money!
50% (2 votes)
2
I've always wanted to know what my goldfish was thinking!
50% (2 votes)
2
- $5 millions (in whatever currency you decide, I'm not picky..)

- Ability to talk to, and understand animals.

For the influencing them part, you can suggest they do things, if they feel like it, they just might, especially if there's an incentive, like a treat, or scratches, or whatever that particular animal desires.
It's easier on your own pets than on a random animal run into, but you can at least communicate with them. So if you run into a bear in the woods, you might not be able to convince him to let you ride it without promising a share of your picnic basket, but you could understand when he tells you that you smell more delicious than the basket before attacking.

Animals includes birds, insects, fish, whtaever lives and breathes.
Can't be turned off, but you can just do like you would in a crowd and selectively ignore the surrounding sounds.
Sound volume is relative to the real sound the animals make. So to hear an ant talking, you'd need very good hearing and/or equipment, but not to hear your dog or cat. But the ants can totally hear you, so even if you can't understand their response, you can communicate with them and find ways for them to answer simple yes/no questions by moving left or right as answers.
And last, but not least, you can totally monetize that ability. If you want to go full on Dr. Dolittle and open a clinic, you can, if you want to become Ace Ventura and open a pet detective office, you can. Or you can offer your services to the police, and interview any animals that were around a crime scene. Or you can just pick the ability for the novelty of it, and keep the rest of your life as it is.
Oh and you can understand what animals say in videos/movies/tv shows, but it probably won't make sense with the story.
I suppose loopholes are allowed, as long as they're not too farfetched.
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Muffinz0rz
08/25/18 12:13:00 PM
#2:


stone posted...
Oh and you can understand what animals say in videos/movies/tv shows, but it probably won't make sense with the story.

I am groot?
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stone
08/25/18 12:14:42 PM
#3:


Muffinz0rz posted...
stone posted...
Oh and you can understand what animals say in videos/movies/tv shows, but it probably won't make sense with the story.

I am groot?

Technically Groot isn't an animal.. But I guess the power could extend to humanoids, like Wookies and whatnot.. if they existed. So yeah no that doesn't work, they're fictional and that would be pushing it.
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Knowledge_King
08/25/18 3:57:57 PM
#4:


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JlM
08/25/18 4:09:30 PM
#5:


You could probably use your new skill to make a decent amount of money. If not 5 million, still enough to be comfortable, in addition to having an awesome unique ability.
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HashtagTartarus
08/25/18 4:34:52 PM
#6:


If I could talk to animals, I wouldn't need to interact with humans anymore.
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Solid Snake07
08/25/18 4:38:44 PM
#7:


Money, doubt animals have anything interesting to say
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Solid Snake07
08/25/18 4:39:44 PM
#8:


HashtagTartarus posted...
If I could talk to animals, I wouldn't need to interact with humans anymore.


I've always felt like a large appeal of animals is that they can't talk.....
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RiKuToTheMiGhtY
08/25/18 4:42:06 PM
#9:


Easily the ability to talk with animals, can make way more then $5 million with that skill.
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SpinKirby
08/25/18 4:46:03 PM
#10:


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stone
08/25/18 4:46:51 PM
#11:


Solid Snake07 posted...
Money, doubt animals have anything interesting to say

You obviously don't have pets.
I'd love to be able to communicate with my ferret and my cat. Ask the damn cat why it keeps puking on the goddamn couch. Make sure she pukes on the floor, easier to clean.
And just being able to understand them in general, really.
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stone
08/25/18 4:47:50 PM
#12:


JlM posted...
You could probably use your new skill to make a decent amount of money. If not 5 million, still enough to be comfortable, in addition to having an awesome unique ability.

This. Imagine being the vet's assistant, and just asking the dog "where does it hurt?" or "why aren't you eating anymore?" instead of running a bajillion of tests.
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RiKuToTheMiGhtY
08/25/18 4:54:23 PM
#13:


Personally I would love to talk with my pets, the strong bond would only get stronger and I would personally love to chat up the great apes and primates.

POTA style crazy shit, and a better understanding with the world so poachers would become an endangered species.
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stone
08/25/18 5:17:45 PM
#14:


For those who'd try to monetize the ability.. what exactly would you do?

Vet help?
Pet detective?
Pet psychiatrist?
Zoo translator?
Freakshow circus act?
Heists, with animal companions?
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1337toothbrush
08/25/18 5:18:22 PM
#15:


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stone
08/25/18 5:19:14 PM
#16:


1337toothbrush posted...
hahahahaha what the fuck.. ouch. that will probably get marked, but damn.. I didn't expect it to go this way. Made me laugh ;) I'll blame the wine ;p
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RiKuToTheMiGhtY
08/25/18 5:20:36 PM
#17:


All of the above topic creator, then I would create a grand army of natures finest to help the critters take down people who hunt for sport, poach, and abuse animals.
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stone
08/25/18 5:22:03 PM
#18:


RiKuToTheMiGhtY posted...
All of the above topic creator, then I would create a grand army of natures finest to help the critters take down people who hunt for sport, poach, and abuse animals.


Adding, to the above, pulling various heists, using animals. They'll never expect it.
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RiKuToTheMiGhtY
08/25/18 5:23:56 PM
#19:


No, using animals to commit crime is something I cant co sign.
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HashtagTartarus
08/25/18 5:24:27 PM
#20:


1337toothbrush posted...
Sweet! Finally a way to get consent!


Get consent for what? I'm not following.
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stone
08/25/18 5:25:10 PM
#21:


RiKuToTheMiGhtY posted...
No, using animals to commit crime is something I cant co sign.

What if the crime you're commiting is setting other animals free? Raiding animal farms where conditions are abysmal?
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stone
08/25/18 5:25:39 PM
#22:


HashtagTartarus posted...
1337toothbrush posted...
Sweet! Finally a way to get consent!


Get consent for what? I'm not following.

"Want to play ball?!?"
"Want to go for a walk??!"
it's super obvious ;p
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RiKuToTheMiGhtY
08/25/18 5:25:42 PM
#23:


HashtagTartarus posted...
1337toothbrush posted...
Sweet! Finally a way to get consent!


Get consent for what? I'm not following.


He wants to or does abuse his pets/animals sexually it sounds like, not ok.
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RiKuToTheMiGhtY
08/25/18 5:26:39 PM
#24:


Thats liberation not a crime topic creator.
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HashtagTartarus
08/25/18 5:27:19 PM
#25:


RiKuToTheMiGhtY posted...
He wants to or does abuse his pets/animals sexually it sounds like, not ok.


What the fuck? Who would do something like that?
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JlM
08/25/18 5:27:43 PM
#26:


stone posted...
For those who'd try to monetize the ability.. what exactly would you do?

Vet help?
Pet detective?
Pet psychiatrist?
Zoo translator?
Freakshow circus act?
Heists, with animal companions?


Any of this. You could probably just make a fortune charging by the minute/hour to translate. Do you know how much someone would pay, just for the ability to tell their pets "This pill will make you feel better", "We need to you to pee here and only here", "Person X is my friend, you don't need to cower under the hallway table every he walks in", "Please, stop bringing me dead birds".
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SophieLuvsTofu
08/25/18 5:28:24 PM
#27:


The latter, easily.

Money comes and goes, superpowers are forever lol
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stone
08/25/18 5:28:32 PM
#28:


RiKuToTheMiGhtY posted...
Thats liberation not a crime topic creator.

Good point.
Anyway, I probably wouldn't use that power for that in the first place. I'm more selfish, I just want to communicate with my pets. Maybe down the road I'd offer my services as translator for various reasons.. vet or detective work, or just between someone and their pets to know why they're acting that way.
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RiKuToTheMiGhtY
08/25/18 5:29:23 PM
#29:


Not only for money, fame, and glory but for making the world a better place most importantly.
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stone
08/25/18 5:29:42 PM
#30:


JlM posted...
stone posted...
For those who'd try to monetize the ability.. what exactly would you do?

Vet help?
Pet detective?
Pet psychiatrist?
Zoo translator?
Freakshow circus act?
Heists, with animal companions?


Any of this. You could probably just make a fortune charging by the minute/hour to translate. Do you know how much someone would pay, just for the ability to tell their pets "This pill will make you feel better", "We need to you to pee here and only here", "Person X is my friend, you don't need to cower under the hallway table every he walks in", "Please, stop bringing me dead birds".

Definitely.
"Please eat this, you'll feel better, trust me, and also don't hump the couch, that's nasty"
People pay hundreds or thousands of dollars in specialty foods and vet exams, they'd definitely pay for this.
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RiKuToTheMiGhtY
08/25/18 5:32:37 PM
#31:


We could also advance medical fields with this skill, not just a benifit to animals. would help people as well.
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DarkTransient
08/25/18 5:34:48 PM
#32:


stone posted...
Muffinz0rz posted...
stone posted...
Oh and you can understand what animals say in videos/movies/tv shows, but it probably won't make sense with the story.

I am groot?

Technically Groot isn't an animal.. But I guess the power could extend to humanoids, like Wookies and whatnot.. if they existed. So yeah no that doesn't work, they're fictional and that would be pushing it.


Aren't their sounds made by editing the sounds of real animals, generally? If so... would you not just hear a very distorted version of whatever the original animal was saying?
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stone
08/25/18 5:37:07 PM
#33:


DarkTransient posted...
stone posted...
Muffinz0rz posted...
stone posted...
Oh and you can understand what animals say in videos/movies/tv shows, but it probably won't make sense with the story.

I am groot?

Technically Groot isn't an animal.. But I guess the power could extend to humanoids, like Wookies and whatnot.. if they existed. So yeah no that doesn't work, they're fictional and that would be pushing it.


Aren't their sounds made by editing the sounds of real animals, generally? If so... would you not just hear a very distorted version of whatever the original animal was saying?

Good point. Then yes, you'd hear whatever the original sound was, but distorted. Still wouldn't make sense in context though, as would any animal sound in any movie.
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stone
08/25/18 5:38:37 PM
#34:


RiKuToTheMiGhtY posted...
We could also advance medical fields with this skill, not just a benifit to animals. would help people as well.

Definitely.
And it would totally help people understand why their dogs bark so much, or why they poop or pee in the house instead of outside as we'd like them to. (just using dogs as an example but you could do that with basically every pet ever, and outside animals as well)
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1337toothbrush
08/25/18 5:41:22 PM
#35:


RiKuToTheMiGhtY posted...
HashtagTartarus posted...
1337toothbrush posted...
Sweet! Finally a way to get consent!


Get consent for what? I'm not following.


He wants to or does abuse his pets/animals sexually it sounds like, not ok.

You take the internet too seriously it sounds like, not ok.
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Vicious_Dios
08/25/18 5:41:28 PM
#36:


I'd pay 5,000,000 for that ability.

The returns would be multiplefold if you had the proper imagination. <_<
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HashtagTartarus
08/25/18 5:45:54 PM
#37:


Vicious_Dios posted...
I'd pay 5,000,000 for that ability.

The returns would be multiplefold if you had the proper imagination. <_<


Gross!
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stone
08/25/18 6:24:13 PM
#38:


HashtagTartarus posted...
Vicious_Dios posted...
I'd pay 5,000,000 for that ability.

The returns would be multiplefold if you had the proper imagination. <_<


Gross!

I doubt that kind of imagination would pay off that much.
But imagination to use that ability to help people? Pet lovers (not in that way) are usually willing to pay more for their pet's well being than their own. (Source: my ex put way too much money into vet bills)
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Vicious_Dios
08/25/18 7:20:14 PM
#39:


HashtagTartarus posted...
Vicious_Dios posted...
I'd pay 5,000,000 for that ability.

The returns would be multiplefold if you had the proper imagination. <_<


Gross!


I don't even want to ask you what was so gross about that. <_< Keep your projections at a minimum when speaking to me, please.
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HashtagTartarus
08/25/18 7:28:18 PM
#40:


Vicious_Dios posted...
I don't even want to ask you what was so gross about that. <_< Keep your projections at a minimum when speaking to me, please.


I was kidding. I don't think it's gross.
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catboy0_0
08/25/18 7:29:20 PM
#41:


you're telling me you don't even know how to commune with animals? smh
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stone
08/25/18 7:34:47 PM
#42:


Wow, nearly 50%.
I picked $5 millions because more than that would have been an obvious "fuck it I'll pick the money" but lower than that would be an easy "I'll pick the power"
Honestly, I went with how much it'd take me to pick this.. ok really I would have for free.. 1 to 2 millions would be nice, but, the ability would more than make up for it, in my opinion.
I'd really like to know why my cat puked 3 times in the last week when she hadn't in the past month. And why my ferret keeps pooping right next to the litter box instead of inside it.
And what the hell my neighbor's dog keeps barking about for an hour in the morning when I'd rather sleep in late.
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WilliamPorygon
08/25/18 7:39:26 PM
#43:


I'll take the ability to speak with animals because of course I would, I mean really now.
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Questionmarktarius
08/25/18 7:44:18 PM
#44:


Does "animal" also include humans?
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MC_BatCommander
08/25/18 7:45:32 PM
#45:


The power is way too cool to pass up
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stone
08/25/18 7:45:40 PM
#46:


Questionmarktarius posted...
Does "animal" also include humans?

... as in, understanding any and every language ever?
I'd say no, but I also said loopholes allowed, but not too farfetched...
To me that soulds a bit farfetched, though.
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Questionmarktarius
08/25/18 7:47:14 PM
#47:


stone posted...
To me that soulds a bit farfetched, though.

Not as farfetched as suddenly understanding starfish, but not French.
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stone
08/25/18 7:48:22 PM
#48:


Questionmarktarius posted...
stone posted...
To me that soulds a bit farfetched, though.

Not as farfetched as suddenly understanding starfish, but not French.

Good point.
I'll allow it, then. As offensive as it is towards the French.
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Questionmarktarius
08/25/18 7:51:03 PM
#49:


stone posted...
Questionmarktarius posted...
stone posted...
To me that soulds a bit farfetched, though.

Not as farfetched as suddenly understanding starfish, but not French.

Good point.
I'll allow it, then. As offensive as it is towards the French.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YEY-T3GUdQo" data-time="
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