Current Events > Dating someone with depression sucks

(+) Yeah! (+)

Its great to be with someone who lies in bed all day, wont let you touch them, and cancels your entire upcoming summer vacation out of town, just because they arent feeling it.
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If you can't give them the support and love they need simply end it.
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Having depression sucks more. If you aren't mature enough to recognize someone has a problem beyond their control perhaps you shouldn't be in a relationship
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Hey man a partner like that needs more support and commitment and comfort than a regular partner does and it sounds like you cant provide that, its nothing personal.

Its the reason why my relationships go to shit tbh.
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Genocet_10-325 posted...

Having depression sucks more. If you aren't mature enough to recognize someone has a problem beyond their control perhaps you shouldn't be in a relationship

I dont pretend its her control, but it literally makes my life miserable, and I commonly ask myself as someone with a good job, who works out constantly, has good self confidence, and is only 26 why do I deal with it.
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Vermander posted...

Genocet_10-325 posted...

Having depression sucks more. If you aren't mature enough to recognize someone has a problem beyond their control perhaps you shouldn't be in a relationship

I dont pretend its her control, but it literally makes my life miserable, and I commonly ask myself as someone with a good job, who works out constantly, has good self confidence, and is only 26 why do I deal with it.

Then leave. You're not helping her by being with her if you can't handle it
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Vermander posted...

Genocet_10-325 posted...

Having depression sucks more. If you aren't mature enough to recognize someone has a problem beyond their control perhaps you shouldn't be in a relationship

I dont pretend its her control, but it literally makes my life miserable, and I commonly ask myself as someone with a good job, who works out constantly, has good self confidence, and is only 26 why do I deal with it.

Because you really really love her. Or you're just desperate to not be alone.
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MysteryMan923 posted...

Vermander posted...

Genocet_10-325 posted...

Having depression sucks more. If you aren't mature enough to recognize someone has a problem beyond their control perhaps you shouldn't be in a relationship

I dont pretend its her control, but it literally makes my life miserable, and I commonly ask myself as someone with a good job, who works out constantly, has good self confidence, and is only 26 why do I deal with it.

Because you really really love her. Or you're just desperate to not be alone.

Of course I love her.
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Vermander posted...

Genocet_10-325 posted...

Having depression sucks more. If you aren't mature enough to recognize someone has a problem beyond their control perhaps you shouldn't be in a relationship

I dont pretend its her control, but it literally makes my life miserable, and I commonly ask myself as someone with a good job, who works out constantly, has good self confidence, and is only 26 why do I deal with it.

This is the kind of pressure my parents put on me when I was a teen. Not helpful. Severe mental illness is real shitty man. Pay for a good therapist for her with your job.
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you need to break up with them. obviously they aren't doing you any favors and you aren't do them any either
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Genocet_10-325 posted...

Having depression sucks more.

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frogman_295 posted...

Vermander posted...

Genocet_10-325 posted...

Having depression sucks more. If you aren't mature enough to recognize someone has a problem beyond their control perhaps you shouldn't be in a relationship

I dont pretend its her control, but it literally makes my life miserable, and I commonly ask myself as someone with a good job, who works out constantly, has good self confidence, and is only 26 why do I deal with it.

This is the kind of pressure my parents put on me when I was a teen. Not helpful. Severe mental illness is real shitty man. Pay for a good therapist for her with your job.

I could possibly do that.
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then why the hell are you still dating this person? they need therapist not a nice caring person who sells their souls, desires, ambitions and dreams in order to placate the fucked up state of their partner in order to play a heroes roll for an audience of two.

if you're not happy that they're depressed, that doesn't make you in the wrong. go get some beers, stack of hundreds and plow. have some fun. life is too short to try and play lincoln logs with the psyche of someone who needs professional help
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Yes, do it! That sounds wonderful. And try ur best to make other things we mentioned work.
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Dump her. It's not going to get any better. Find someone that makes you happy.
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Honestly, if you aren't capable of dealing with it right now, you should break it off immediately. It's a life long struggle and people don't just 'get better', especially not without a lot more struggle.

sounds like she is depressed because she isnt dating the right person. try breaking up with her. see if that cheers her up
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smoke_break posted...

Dump her. It's not going to get any better. Find someone that makes you happy.

Or he could stay with her and HELP her. I mean obviously he needs to work on himself a bit..
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CommunismFTW posted...

then why the hell are you still dating this person? they need therapist not a nice caring person who sells their souls, desires, ambitions and dreams in order to placate the fucked up state of their partner in order to play a heroes roll for an audience of two.

if you're not happy that they're depressed, that doesn't make you in the wrong. go get some beers, stack of hundreds and plow. have some fun. life is too short to try and play lincoln logs with the psyche of someone who needs professional help

That is kind of how I am beginning feel. I mean given we are moving soon I wouldnt do it now, but it is something to think about.
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frogman_295 posted...

smoke_break posted...

Dump her. It's not going to get any better. Find someone that makes you happy.

Or he could stay with her and HELP her. I mean obviously he needs to work on himself a bit..

As someone with depression, that's a horrible idea. People with depression don't need someone to fix them, and they sure as hell don't want someone that is going to resent them for it later.

frogman_295 posted...

smoke_break posted...

Dump her. It's not going to get any better. Find someone that makes you happy.

Or he could stay with her and HELP her. I mean obviously he needs to work on himself a bit..

NO. DO NOT DO THIS
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So many depressed bitter beards.

Don't you people fucking realize that by pushing people away that actually want to help, you are actively prolonging your depression and digging it deeper!? You aren't doing the women any favors for shitting on TC for having legitimate complaints. If anything, you're guranteeing her depression.

Dash_Harber posted...

frogman_295 posted...

smoke_break posted...

Dump her. It's not going to get any better. Find someone that makes you happy.

Or he could stay with her and HELP her. I mean obviously he needs to work on himself a bit..

As someone with depression, that's a horrible idea. People with depression don't need someone to fix them, and they sure as hell don't want someone that is going to resent them for it later.

Yeah ur probably right. As someone with depressulion I sure would like a sugar momma though. What do you mean they don't need someone to fix them? Are you against therapy?
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frogman_295 posted...

Dash_Harber posted...

frogman_295 posted...

smoke_break posted...

Dump her. It's not going to get any better. Find someone that makes you happy.

Or he could stay with her and HELP her. I mean obviously he needs to work on himself a bit..

As someone with depression, that's a horrible idea. People with depression don't need someone to fix them, and they sure as hell don't want someone that is going to resent them for it later.

Yeah ur probably right. As someone with depressulion I sure would like a sugar momma though. What do you mean they don't need someone to fix them? Are you against therapy?

No, I mean they don't need a partner or friends to fix them. If they need help, it should be from a trained professional and not someone that is emotionally involved.

So you are saying that you are just with her for her money? That's pretty gross.

It's a two way street as they say. There's some hypocrisy going on here is all i'm saying. Do the best you can man. I give you credit for at least staying. Shows you have some integrity just feel taken advantage of yourself. Am I right? Instead of that maybe you just have to figure out a way where you can accept each other as you are and be ok with it.

Sounds like you are just venting lol. It's the power struggle. Disapointment. Effort that goes in etc.

You arent' on the same plain. Sounds like you want to get out and want to be doing things to get out of the depression. She's not ready for that for whatever reason. She may as well but something missing in communication is all. LIke she's already burnt. And you are too.

Teddytalks posted...

So many depressed bitter beards.

Don't you people fucking realize that by pushing people away that actually want to help, you are actively prolonging your depression and digging it deeper!?

I imagine that this realization only makes things worse for them. As David Foster Wallace said, "Everything is part of the problem, and there is no solution. It is a hell for one."
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Dash_Harber posted...

frogman_295 posted...

Dash_Harber posted...

frogman_295 posted...

smoke_break posted...

Dump her. It's not going to get any better. Find someone that makes you happy.

Or he could stay with her and HELP her. I mean obviously he needs to work on himself a bit..

As someone with depression, that's a horrible idea. People with depression don't need someone to fix them, and they sure as hell don't want someone that is going to resent them for it later.

Yeah ur probably right. As someone with depressulion I sure would like a sugar momma though. What do you mean they don't need someone to fix them? Are you against therapy?

No, I mean they don't need a partner or friends to fix them. If they need help, it should be from a trained professional and not someone that is emotionally involved.

So you are saying that you are just with her for her money? That's pretty gross.

I'm saying I wish I could afford some good therapy. But yeah I was wrong. There are plenty of resources in the community for her. Dump her
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frogman_295 posted...

Dash_Harber posted...

frogman_295 posted...

smoke_break posted...

Dump her. It's not going to get any better. Find someone that makes you happy.

Or he could stay with her and HELP her. I mean obviously he needs to work on himself a bit..

As someone with depression, that's a horrible idea. People with depression don't need someone to fix them, and they sure as hell don't want someone that is going to resent them for it later.

Yeah ur probably right. As someone with depressulion I sure would like a sugar momma though. What do you mean they don't need someone to fix them? Are you against therapy?

I think he's more saying that you don't want to date you therapist. That is to say, it's not the partner's job to fix them. It'd be like staying with someone so you could fix their broken arm, despite having zero medical knowledge.

andromedadude3 posted...

As David Foster Wallace said, "Everything is part of the problem, and there is no solution. It is a hell for one."

I like this quote
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Laugh about it?

Buy her some flowers or something. Simple things. Maybe she will reciprocate ultimately. But don't take it as a slight if she doesn't. Ask simple questions like what is really bothering her and try to respect it.

Some people that are depressed don't want to talk about their depression all the time though. That's why they end up just lying there trying to recuperate. And get upset like you are. There's just something missing in the communication.

IT's fine to be upset. Shows you care at least.

frogman_295 posted...

If you can't give them the support and love they need simply end it.

Telling someone to kill themselves is against the tou

Gotta move on
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Yeah don't let it bother you that much. But same with her. She has to recuperate. And so do you. IF you want to keep the relationship going and truly care just do simple things and have some sense and do that. Try to communicate it the best you can.

Complete_Idi0t posted...

frogman_295 posted...

If you can't give them the support and love they need simply end it.

Telling someone to kill themselves is against the tou

Come on thought we were bros dude. OK that made me chuckle when I saw the username...
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I'm assuming she's a girl and you are a guy though. Could be wrong there. But it doesn't matter. The thought is the same. Some things work and some things just don't. That can be meant in a lot of ways too.

Try to see it as how it really is and how she really is though. That's all i'm saying. You have a right to not feel taken advantage of. It's more just the stress of not being reciprocated though.