Current Events > Recommendations for my "if you know what i mean" Magic deck?

(+) Yeah! (+)

I want to make a deck where i can say "if you know what I mean" after every card I play. I am trying for a green/black deck. Here is what I have so far:

4 Spitting Slug
4 Seed Guardian
4 Gigantasaurus
4 Anaconda

2 BFG (Big Furry Monster) Left & Right

4 Death Stroke
2 Bone Flute

3 GIANT Growth
1 Asphyxiate (I will say is called Asphyxiation from now on)
1 Awaken the Bear
4 Abundant Growth
4 Aggressive Urge
3 Alluring Scent ("the alluring scent forces you to block my Spitting Slug)

4 Tainted Wood
4 Temple of Malady (M'Lady)
9 Forest
9 Swamp

To annoy my wife further, i'd probably replace "my creature has 5 power" with "inches".

Bishop of the Bloodstained is probably going too far >_>

oh BONEyard Wurm!

This, this is amazing.
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Lmfao
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become immense
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kirbymuncher posted...

become immense

Ha, that will go in, thanks :D

4 Spitting Slug
4 Seed Guardian
4 Gigantasaurus
4 Anaconda
4 BONEyard Wurm

4 Death Stroke
2 Bone Flute

3 GIANT Growth
1 Asphyxiate (I will say is called Asphyxiation from now on)
1 Awaken the Bear
4 Abundant Growth
4 Aggressive Urge
2 Alluring Scent ("the alluring scent forces you to block my Spitting Slug)
1 Become Immense

4 Tainted Wood
4 Temple of Malady (M'Lady)
8 Forest
8 Swamp

almost to 60. i'll probably have Bishop of the Bloodstained as a sideboard card.

I should probably also do this when playing until I get punched.

https://imgur.com/U4d1Nlm

the problem is Gigantasaurus comes out for Core 2019 ._.

I've never even played Magic but this topic made me giggle.
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I assume all of those are legit real cards?
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This is an amazing idea.
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FarFromFields posted...

I've never even played Magic but this topic made me giggle.

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Kelystic posted...

I assume all of those are legit real cards?

You know it ;) There was a set where a lot of the lands sounded like lady part euphemisms.

http://mythicspoiler.com/rtr/cards/bloodcrypt.jpg
http://mythicspoiler.com/rtr/cards/overgrowntomb.jpg
http://mythicspoiler.com/rtr/cards/templegarden.jpg
http://mythicspoiler.com/rtr/cards/roguespassage.jpg

SSBBSB posted...

FarFromFields posted...

I've never even played Magic but this topic made me giggle.

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Thanks, I can never use my Wurm deck again without feeling the urge to go "if ya know what I mean"
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Too bad you aren't 5 color for stuff like Ride Down, Mud Hole, and Armada Wurm (for the art)
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CHUB TOAD!!!!!

I am so putting 4 Chub toads in my deck!!!

Megaman50100 posted...

Too bad you aren't 5 color for stuff like Ride Down, Mud Hole, and Armada Wurm (for the art)

Armada Wurm's art must have been considered for an Un-set at one point..

Kids still play this wow
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Uktabi Orangutan
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FlyingForever posted...

Kids still play this wow

The last set Dominaria was one of the best selling of all time it looks like.

There is a probably not-true rumor of Hasbro trying to crank out as much money as possible because they are planning to sell and want to up the value as much as possible.

https://img.scryfall.com/cards/normal/en/m15/58.jpg

AW YISS

GOBBLING OOZE!

http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/933/480/f87.gif

I wish I could get into Magic again, but it's too fucking confusing these days. I hate the fact that all my cool old cards can't be used anymore because they change sets 5 times a fucking year
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^ just stick with deck builders like Dominion, Star Realms, Legendary, Ascension, Tanto Cuore. Or video game wise, Slay the Spire.

or LCGs are card games without the pay-to-win model. one fee gets you every copy of the card, no rarity, and takes a long time for sets to be replaced.

Kerred posted...

^ just stick with deck builders like Dominion, Star Realms, Legendary, Ascension, Tanto Cuore. Or video game wise, Slay the Spire.

But it's still Dominion vs Dominion, Ascension vs Ascension, ect, right? So I would have to by at least 60 cards in at least one of those sets, but if I pick one that not a lot of people play, then I can't play with anyone. That's my point. It's all too complicated now

Back in my day, when Magic was first coming out, you went to the store, bought some fucking cards, and everyone got to play if you had some. I had (I sold them for $2,400) so many cards that I loved to play with, but I couldn't play with any of them for the past 10/15 years because they're not apart of any Core Set or any of that.

It made me very, very angry with the whole game and I will never get into it again, even though I would love to, but I just don't like how it is these days.
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Bad_Mojo posted...

Kerred posted...

^ just stick with deck builders like Dominion, Star Realms, Legendary, Ascension, Tanto Cuore. Or video game wise, Slay the Spire.

But it's still Dominion vs Dominion, Ascension vs Ascension, ect, right? So I would have to by at least 60 cards in at least one of those sets, but if I pick one that not a lot of people play, then I can't play with anyone. That's my point. It's all too complicated now

Back in my day, when Magic was first coming out, you went to the store, bought some fucking cards, and everyone got to play if you had some. I had (I sold them for $2,400) so many cards that I loved to play with, but I couldn't play with any of them for the past 10/15 years because they're not apart of any Core Set or any of that.

It made me very, very angry with the whole game and I will never get into it again, even though I would love to, but I just don't like how it is these days.

Deck builders aren't like that. $40 with a Dominion core set and that's it. Star realms is a complete game for $15 and the only cards needed are in that $15.

Kerred posted...

Deck builders aren't like that. $40 with a Dominion core set and that's it. Star realms is a complete game for $15 and the only cards needed are in that $15.

Fine, I'll look into it. But I still miss making a shit load of decks from all my cards. Mixing and matching and still being able to play.
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this is a card >_>

http://gatherer.wizards.com/Handlers/Image.ashx?multiverseid=5662&type=card

Did you find that by looking up taint?
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bring's back some memories of the game. wasn't fully into it though.
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Kerred posted...

FlyingForever posted...

Kids still play this wow

The last set Dominaria was one of the best selling of all time it looks like.

There is a probably not-true rumor of Hasbro trying to crank out as much money as possible because they are planning to sell and want to up the value as much as possible.

The few previous sets to dominaria were poorly recieved by both newer players and veterans, the standard environment was not very fun, and they were having serious issues with low quality cardstock causing warping of cards. I think it's more likely they just realized they were in a bad spot and needed to do something serious, since they pulled back richard garfield for design (he hadn't been on design teams in a long time) and went back to one of their big popular settings from the past. was an effort to save themselves and it worked out super well

Bad_Mojo posted...

Back in my day, when Magic was first coming out, you went to the store, bought some fucking cards, and everyone got to play if you had some. I had (I sold them for $2,400) so many cards that I loved to play with, but I couldn't play with any of them for the past 10/15 years because they're not apart of any Core Set or any of that.

the reason you're probably having trouble finding a chance to play with older cards like that is because people nowadays tend to play in specific formats. Most common two are probably Standard (rotating format of the most recent few sets) and Modern (all cards since 8th edition + a small banlist). There are other formats that are more of a "play with any cards" type thing, like Legacy and Vintage, but the reason these don't get played as often is basically:

1) Really strong combos+synergy. Turns out if you spend this many years printing cards and then let people use any ones they want, there's a lot of really broken stuff that comes out. Winning on turn 2 or even turn 1 is not entirely out of the question.
2) Massive financial barrier because many important cards are rare and out of print. A single deck can easily go into the thousands of dollars. And because of #1, if you can't afford this "entry fee" your deck is often pretty handicapped to the point where you may as well not be playing.

basically you're stuck in this awkward place where you probably don't have a deck that can compete at all in the actual format it's in, but you can't play it in other formats because it could be extremely unfair to everyone else. In which case I would say your best solution is to just play EDH
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kirbymuncher posted...

Kerred posted...

FlyingForever posted...

Kids still play this wow

The last set Dominaria was one of the best selling of all time it looks like.

There is a probably not-true rumor of Hasbro trying to crank out as much money as possible because they are planning to sell and want to up the value as much as possible.

The few previous sets to dominaria were poorly recieved by both newer players and veterans, the standard environment was not very fun, and they were having serious issues with low quality cardstock causing warping of cards. I think it's more likely they just realized they were in a bad spot and needed to do something serious, since they pulled back richard garfield for design (he hadn't been on design teams in a long time) and went back to one of their big popular settings from the past. was an effort to save themselves and it worked out super well

Bad_Mojo posted...

Back in my day, when Magic was first coming out, you went to the store, bought some fucking cards, and everyone got to play if you had some. I had (I sold them for $2,400) so many cards that I loved to play with, but I couldn't play with any of them for the past 10/15 years because they're not apart of any Core Set or any of that.

the reason you're probably having trouble finding a chance to play with older cards like that is because people nowadays tend to play in specific formats. Most common two are probably Standard (rotating format of the most recent few sets) and Modern (all cards since 8th edition + a small banlist). There are other formats that are more of a "play with any cards" type thing, like Legacy and Vintage, but the reason these don't get played as often is basically:

1) Really strong combos+synergy. Turns out if you spend this many years printing cards and then let people use any ones they want, there's a lot of really broken stuff that comes out. Winning on turn 2 or even turn 1 is not entirely out of the question.
2) Massive financial barrier because many important cards are rare and out of print. A single deck can easily go into the thousands of dollars. And because of #1, if you can't afford this "entry fee" your deck is often pretty handicapped to the point where you may as well not be playing.

basically you're stuck in this awkward place where you probably don't have a deck that can compete at all in the actual format it's in, but you can't play it in other formats because it could be extremely unfair to everyone else. In which case I would say your best solution is to just play EDH

You could also just draft