Current Events > Paralyzed with the fear of hope.

(+) Yeah! (+)

And the fear of connecting. Having voices inside of you. Some you want to share. Some you feel the need to silence. Unsure how to give even a tiny bit of yourself without opening the floodgates. Ruining everything in the path with your own pituful dissonance. Tripping over your own self doubt. There's nothing you can do about it. At least that's the lie you tell yourself. In reality, you're too scared, too lazy, too inept to do the work you need to get on the right path. Any path. Anything that even resembles a path. Somewhere where you can even catch a glimpse of humanity.

So lonely out here. But you don't know how to be anything else. Not that you want to. Or are you lying to yourself when you say that you prefer to be alone. Even if it's true, you can't mean that all of the time. You want some contact some of the time, right? What? Keep people on the shelf for when you need to feel like a "normal" person? How selfish is that? As if others live to service you.

Things will change. Things will be different. Just give it time. But how will things change? How will anything be different if you don't get up and do something about it? There's no magic fairy dust that's going to turn your life around. And yet that's exactly what you're waiting for. For someone or some thing to magically fix all of your problems. The onus is on no one but yourself.

But even then, that big problem will never be fixed. Because there is no fix. No cure. But so what? Everyone has problems. Troubles. Doubts. That doesn't completely stop you from connecting. It's a part of being alive. Because no matter how much you think you aren't "living", you are most definitely alive. And living. Living means more that merely existing. Get up! Move! While you still can! It's not too late.

I feel like I do nothing but talk to myself these days.

Trying to say everything. But absolutely nothing if substance comes out. Verbal masturbation.

Go on. Keep living in fear.
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Impossible. As I am the Heir of Despair.

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Micturating out all of your truths.
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