Current Events > Wife cheated and expects me to apologize...

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Long story short, we went on vacation and while we were there, she did something she should not have and I caught her. We got into a heated argument and she left 2 days early... didn't see her for a day after I got back either, so that was 3 days I didn't see her. Now she is back and hasn't said a word to me in 3 days since then. Funny thing is, that was supposed to be a trip to celebrate my birthday.

Anyone ever have this happen to them? I'm not apologizing for what I said. She is wrong this time. Don't want to go into too much detail because I'm still pretty upset. I'd rather just go on my own for a while, even if it means living in my car or a tent. I'm just not in a good financial spot right now.
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gotta be careful how you proceed as this has some dire consequences if shit hits the fan.
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She cheated, you owe her no apology.

She can go fuck herself. The fact she would expect YOU to apologize is honestly appalling.
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Never take action until you can think rationally. Unwillingness to forgive will kill a marriage, too.
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Oh you just had the other homeless topic right?

Do you mind telling us what she did, and possibly what you said in return?
("Did something she should not have" is a little vague)

It might be easier just to co exist, until you can find your own place.
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Aren't you the guy who's always talking about wanting to cheat on his wife?
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Coffeebeanz posted...

Never take action until you can think rationally. Unwillingness to forgive will kill a marriage, too.

I was irate when I found out and told her to get the f out when she started yelling at me. I will forgive if she admits she was wrong and apologizes. But I'm not going back on what I said. If I do, she will never take me seriously and I've been the doormat for my last two girlfriends and I'm tired of it.
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See coffeebeanz comment, also it really depends on what she did. If she flirted with another dude, you have marriage problems that can be potentially fixed. If you banged another dude or even made out with another dude, then those are major problems that probably wont be fixed, in my opinion.

So your reaction is based on that. But again, you HAVE to be calm no matter what and think rationally, as hard as it is.
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TheUsualSuspect posted...

Aren't you the guy who's always talking about wanting to cheat on his wife?

thought about it, but never actually did
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First, calm down. Breathe.

Second, think about what outcome you want most. Stay together? Leave?

Third, it doesn't matter who apologizes first. It does matter if only one person apologizes.
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DanHarenChamp posted...

See coffeebeanz comment, also it really depends on what she did. If she flirted with another dude, you have marriage problems that can be potentially fixed. If you banged another dude or even made out with another dude, then those are major problems that probably wont be fixed, in my opinion.

So your reaction is based on that. But again, you HAVE to be calm no matter what and think rationally, as hard as it is.

I don't bang dudes :-)
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lww99 posted...

Oh you just had the other homeless topic right?

Do you mind telling us what she did, and possibly what you said in return?
("Did something she should not have" is a little vague)

It might be easier just to co exist, until you can find your own place.

Caught her with a group of guys at our hotel... all I will say
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only option is divorce
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Sting posted...

lww99 posted...

Oh you just had the other homeless topic right?

Do you mind telling us what she did, and possibly what you said in return?
("Did something she should not have" is a little vague)

It might be easier just to co exist, until you can find your own place.

Caught her with a group of guys at our hotel... all I will say

Choo Choo?
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Never forget that cheating doesn't exist in a vacuum. Yes, she wronged you. But why? Have you been treating her like you love her more than anything in the world? Do you make her feel valued? Do you make her feel like you need her as much as she needs you?
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You need to talk it out.
But honestly trust is damaged. There's no going back
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Coffeebeanz posted...

Never forget that cheating doesn't exist in a vacuum. Yes, she wronged you. But why? Have you been treating her like you love her more than anything in the world? Do you make her feel valued? Do you make her feel like you need her as much as she needs you?

I try, but even so, that's no excuse.
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Sting posted...

lww99 posted...

Oh you just had the other homeless topic right?

Do you mind telling us what she did, and possibly what you said in return?
("Did something she should not have" is a little vague)

It might be easier just to co exist, until you can find your own place.

Caught her with a group of guys at our hotel... all I will say

It was Dance Dance Revolution, wasn't it?
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Eevee-Trainer posted...

She can go fuck herself. The fact she would expect YOU to apologize is honestly appalling.

Well technically she can go fuck sancho
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yeah.. something like that
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Sting posted...

Coffeebeanz posted...

Never forget that cheating doesn't exist in a vacuum. Yes, she wronged you. But why? Have you been treating her like you love her more than anything in the world? Do you make her feel valued? Do you make her feel like you need her as much as she needs you?

I try, but even so, that's no excuse.

Of course it's no excuse. But understanding how the other person views the conflict makes it all the easier for you to get your point across in a way they not only understand, but can agree to.
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divorce, now

or let her cuck you since it seems up your alley :^)

Sting posted...

lww99 posted...

Oh you just had the other homeless topic right?

Do you mind telling us what she did, and possibly what you said in return?
("Did something she should not have" is a little vague)

It might be easier just to co exist, until you can find your own place.

Caught her with a group of guys at our hotel... all I will say

Did she do them all? Wow man. That sucks. I just tell lady she can do whatever the fuck she wants, so long as she tells me about it. She insists she never wants to or will, but she totally has free reign.
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"a group of guys"
Holy shit dude
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This a troll topic yall
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Sting posted...

lww99 posted...

Oh you just had the other homeless topic right?

Do you mind telling us what she did, and possibly what you said in return?
("Did something she should not have" is a little vague)

It might be easier just to co exist, until you can find your own place.

Caught her with a group of guys at our hotel... all I will say

So you catch her with a group of guys while celebrating your b-day and then she expects you to apologize. Why exactly haven't you started divorce proceedings

If you will not go into detail about what she did, why should we care?

For all we know, she was laughing and touching someone on the shoulder.

DanHaren more like DanHarem m I rite
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yeah, well keep the topic going. I'm out for now though.
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Sounds like she's in the wrong but this topic is too vague. If she screwed another guy then I wouldn't blame you for whatever you might have said in the heat of the moment. If she was being inappropriately flirty and you flipped out, then you share some blame for escalating the situation.
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Think about what you want in the long run. Does this seem like something she would do again? Why forgive and apologize if she's in the wrong and shows signs of repeated outcome.

if not and you're willing to look past this then you both need to have a calm rational talk . i still think she has to own up. making you apologize is some manipulative bull sht but that's just me
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sounds like she has some mental issues to be going around banging others while on vacation with her husband. its time to leave.

but this is just another topic which sounds fake.
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Sting posted...

yeah, well keep the topic goin.

lol, OK then
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if she cheated once she's likely to cheat again. divorce her ass

From "that site"


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Sting posted...

lww99 posted...

Oh you just had the other homeless topic right?

Do you mind telling us what she did, and possibly what you said in return?
("Did something she should not have" is a little vague)

It might be easier just to co exist, until you can find your own place.

Caught her with a group of guys at our hotel... all I will say

wow. if you are thinking about getting back with her after that idk what to tell you...if you accept dudes running a train on her she will just continue cheating on you and will have zero respect
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I mean, youve made many posts about how you just settled for your wife so is it really any big loss?
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Sting posted...

Caught her with a group of guys at our hotel... all I will say

Being passed around like a bong?
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TheUsualSuspect posted...

From "that site"

Lol so he's either trolling or this is exactly like another infamous user's relationship

People who hold themselves to different standards than their spouses are even worse
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Divorce is your best option. If youre cheating (or at least seriously considering it) and youre wife is cheating...then why the hell are you married? Just get a divorce.
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TheUsualSuspect posted...

From "that site"

Holy crap, I'm in a pic!

so tc probly full of it eh?

i guess he wanted a 132 post topic or something lol
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Kazi1212 posted...

This a troll topic yall

Yeah this is TC's gimmick, guys.
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Ok. On the off-chance this is true.

The fact that she isn't remorseful basically means your marriage is basically over. If she doesn't accept that she was in the wrong for cheating, then she has already checked out and you're never going to be able to expect her to be faithful again. If she isn't willing to make amends, then you have nowhere for the relationship to go.

It would be one thing if she showed remorse and a willingness to work to regain your trust, but if she tried to justify what she did, blame you for her actions, or otherwise defend her infidelity, then she has no real interest in keeping the marriage together. Get your affairs in order and prepare for divorce.
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Well... No other way to say this, but if it was a gangbang/orgy, yeah I can't blame you.
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