Current Events > Gay CEusers with siblings, does this happen to you too?

(+) Yeah! (+)

First I thought I was overthinking things but there is such a clear pattern now after all these years: My parents get a lot more invested in my straight brothers relationships than in mine.

Two clear examples are:

* If my brother got a girlfriend, even if its a new relationship, she always gets birthday and Christmas presents from my parents. Ive had two long term relationships (2 years and 4.5 years). Neither of my boyfriends got gifts from my parents.

* My parents are quick to arrange a dinner or similar with my brothers in-laws but it took 1.5 years and 3.5 years before they bothered to meet mine.

It just makes me feel kinda sad deep inside.

#blogfaqs
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My brother died last year, so maybe?
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My folks don't approve, so I don't share this kind of thing with them. So it's going to work out this way by default.
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Well I dunno. I havent been in a real relationship. I have talked about David and we are in some kind of relationship, my parents would like to meet him they said, and I think they would prob treat him as family. Despite the age thing.
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HylianFox posted...

My brother died last year, so maybe?

Im very sorry for your loss.

hollow_shrine posted...

My folks don't approve, so I don't share this kind of thing with them. So it's going to work out this way by default.

Ah. I hope they will come around.
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My parents know I'm gay and we're on good terms, but I'm also not in a relationship.

I often wonder what would happen if I showed up one day and was all "Hey, this is my boyfriend"

It's also not something we talk about much, either. In fact, it hasn't been brought up since I came out.
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I'm sorry to hear that you feel sad about that, TC.

Your relationship should be just as important as your sibling's relationship. It's sad that your parents don't seem to see things that way.

Have you tried talking to them about it?

As for me, my parents are equally invested in my relationship and my older brother's. That I'm gay and he straight has no bearing on any of it.
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Yeah I think my parents are a far cry away from wanting to meet any guy I'm dating. Maybe in like 10 years or so.
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kinda the opposite with me, but then again I've had literally one BF and he was a semi-recent acquisition after several years of either single.

Within the same year as going steady he already had a christmas stocking made for him, was in all the family photos -- the works. That sort of stuff tended to be reserved for longer-term datings using my older brother as a bar.

Gift giving is standard practice, however. If either me or my brother is dating someone enough to have them over for Christmas in the first place, they're getting gifts.

Part of it, I think, was also because the parents didn't know about my orientation until I had the boyfriend and this was a means for them to be supportive about it.

My parents are literally more supportive of my brother right now, because he has two young children and his wife wasn't the wisest when it came to student loans, so they've helped him in both free and constant babysitting and direct financial support. However, my brother is elder so if/when it would've come the time for post college spouse loan support and/or child financing and/or childcare the precedent is there and they've already commented as such. Whereas I'm recently single* and have less needs atm.

*These bros ain't loyal.
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it probably would happen if i had a bf and my brother a gf

neither of those things will ever happen because nobody will ever love me and my brother is not interested in relationships
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Choco posted...

neither of those things will ever happen because nobody will ever love me

That's a terrible thing to say about yourself, man.

You should be kinder to yourself.
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ollie89 posted...

Choco posted...

neither of those things will ever happen because nobody will ever love me

That's a terrible thing to say about yourself, man.

You should be kinder to yourself.

saying that is bi culture
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My parents have been very warm and hospitalable :( sorry tc

ollie89 posted...

That's a terrible thing to say about yourself, man.

You should be kinder to yourself.

Hey, I tell myself all the time that I'll likely never have a bf/husband

It's not mean, it's realistic.
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Maybe you should mention your observations to them, TC
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hollow_shrine posted...

My folks don't approve, so I don't share this kind of thing with them. So it's going to work out this way by default.

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Only way you can tell for sure is date a woman and see if the behavior changes.
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Sorry you have to deal with that TC :/

I don't think my parents were that invested in my (straight) brother's relationships, but I did notice when I had a serious girlfriend for >3 years, they never once called her anything but my "friend". Heck, I spent more time at her house than theirs, and they barely ever asked me about her. I don't know if this was a result of their discomfort with me being gay, or if they just don't care whats going on in my life lol.

My (ex) girlfriend's parents were very welcoming on the other hand. Her brother also had a gf, and they treated both of us like family. It was nice.
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