Current Events > My gf and I have been dating 3 months and already talk about marriage/kids

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MFBKBass5
04/30/18 3:18:17 AM
#1:


Not anytime soon...but its very clear were serious for each other. And where typically Id find this moving too fast...I actually dont mind with her.

None of it seems scary with her. I genuinely would want to marry her and have kids some day, which Ive never really felt about any other girl Ive dated before. Its weird, but I can just see it happening.

Its nice finding a girl whos just as into me as I am into her. Not usually the case with my last few relationships. This girl is crazy about me, and shes just genuinely a sweet person. Wife material 100% :3
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Akagami_Shanks
04/30/18 3:19:07 AM
#2:


ok
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Patchwork
04/30/18 3:19:31 AM
#3:


You guys living together yet?

That's the real test, when your personal space/downtime disappears.
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MFBKBass5
04/30/18 3:23:07 AM
#4:


Patchwork posted...
You guys living together yet?

That's the real test, when your personal space/downtime disappears.


Nah but we actually talked about it this morning. She mentioned how amazing itd be to get to see each other every day and wake up next to me every morning :3

I could see us moving in not this summer, but next?
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JTilly
04/30/18 3:23:33 AM
#5:


Happy for ya mate
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WafflehouseJK
04/30/18 3:24:45 AM
#6:


I'm in a similar boat. Not really ready for the marriage/kids talk yet, I'm definitely not ready for that, but we've both established we see this going for a while, and we've been together almost 4 months.
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MFBKBass5
04/30/18 3:26:56 AM
#7:


WafflehouseJK posted...
I'm in a similar boat. Not really ready for the marriage/kids talk yet, I'm definitely not ready for that, but we've both established we see this going for a while, and we've been together almost 4 months.


Oh, yeah marriage and kids would be like 4 years away haha. Shes currently in med school and we want to enjoy life for a while together first. Travel, see the world, do tons of crazy and irresponsible shit together first haha
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Zeus
04/30/18 3:26:57 AM
#8:


MFBKBass5 posted...
My gf and I have been dating 3 months and already talk about marriage/kids


As a wise man once said...

ac7MA7r5IMYda
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WafflehouseJK
04/30/18 3:31:13 AM
#9:


MFBKBass5 posted...
WafflehouseJK posted...
I'm in a similar boat. Not really ready for the marriage/kids talk yet, I'm definitely not ready for that, but we've both established we see this going for a while, and we've been together almost 4 months.


Oh, yeah marriage and kids would be like 4 years away haha. Shes currently in med school and we want to enjoy life for a while together first. Travel, see the world, do tons of crazy and irresponsible shit together first haha

It's a long way away for sure, we're both still in college, so there's no way I'd even consider the idea of marriage at least until we've both been graduated for at least a year or so.

Assuming things keep going like they have though, I could see considering it by the time I'm 25, so about 4 years from now.
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Howl
04/30/18 3:31:47 AM
#10:


MFBKBass5 posted...
Patchwork posted...
You guys living together yet?

That's the real test, when your personal space/downtime disappears.


Nah but we actually talked about it this morning. She mentioned how amazing itd be to get to see each other every day and wake up next to me every morning :3

I could see us moving in not this summer, but next?


That will not last long. Like a few months at most before you start annoying each other. The real test is to see if the two of you can handle it when that eventually happens. If the two of you can deal with that effectively and are capable of fighting about things without saying things you regret to each other all the time then it's real. Otherwise it's just the magic of being in a new relationship that never lasts.
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MFBKBass5
04/30/18 3:34:03 AM
#11:


Howl posted...
MFBKBass5 posted...
Patchwork posted...
You guys living together yet?

That's the real test, when your personal space/downtime disappears.


Nah but we actually talked about it this morning. She mentioned how amazing itd be to get to see each other every day and wake up next to me every morning :3

I could see us moving in not this summer, but next?


That will not last long. Like a few months at most before you start annoying each other. The real test is to see if the two of you can handle it when that eventually happens. If the two of you can deal with that effectively and are capable of fighting about things without saying things you regret to each other all the time then it's real. Otherwise it's just the magic of being in a new relationship that never lasts.


I hate hearing/seeing people generalize all relationships like that. Not every relationship loses its Magic after a few months. I think thats an ignorant thing to think, honestly.

Being a pessimist gets you nowhere :)
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Howl
04/30/18 3:40:13 AM
#12:


MFBKBass5 posted...
Howl posted...
MFBKBass5 posted...
Patchwork posted...
You guys living together yet?

That's the real test, when your personal space/downtime disappears.


Nah but we actually talked about it this morning. She mentioned how amazing itd be to get to see each other every day and wake up next to me every morning :3

I could see us moving in not this summer, but next?


That will not last long. Like a few months at most before you start annoying each other. The real test is to see if the two of you can handle it when that eventually happens. If the two of you can deal with that effectively and are capable of fighting about things without saying things you regret to each other all the time then it's real. Otherwise it's just the magic of being in a new relationship that never lasts.


I hate hearing/seeing people generalize all relationships like that. Not every relationship loses its Magic after a few months. I think thats an ignorant thing to think, honestly.

Being a pessimist gets you nowhere :)


I still very much love my wife, but it would be ridiculous to say I never get annoyed being around her all the time.

I work with this guy whose in his late 50s and he's been married for 34 years. I asked him how it really is being married that long.

He says "when you're married for so long there will be times when you just straight up can't stand each other. And the thing of it is that those periods can sometimes last for months or even longer.

You have to have someone that you can get through periods of time like that and still say she drives me crazy sometimes but I still love her to death and wouldn't trade her for any other woman in the world. Those times always end and you get back to the good times again."
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Dash_Harber
04/30/18 3:41:36 AM
#13:


My wife and I have been together for 7 years and still don't really feel like making our marriage official or having kids. Different strokes.
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MFBKBass5
04/30/18 3:43:12 AM
#14:


Dash_Harber posted...
My wife and I have been together for 7 years and still don't really feel like making our marriage official or having kids. Different strokes.


Why would you call her your wife if youre not married?what
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Dash_Harber
04/30/18 3:47:25 AM
#15:


MFBKBass5 posted...
Dash_Harber posted...
My wife and I have been together for 7 years and still don't really feel like making our marriage official or having kids. Different strokes.


Why would you call her your wife if youre not married?what


Common law. We've lived together for 7 years now and are legally 'married' on all official forms (taxes, health, etc). We call each other husband and wife. We just don't really care about the whole ceremony/marriage license thing.
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Howl
04/30/18 3:47:57 AM
#16:


MFBKBass5 posted...
Dash_Harber posted...
My wife and I have been together for 7 years and still don't really feel like making our marriage official or having kids. Different strokes.


Why would you call her your wife if youre not married?what


I know people who do that too. I always thought it was stupid. If you call the woman you're with your wife why don't you just get married? You get a lot of legal benefits from being actually legally married, and alot of them will save you a shit ton of money.
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Dash_Harber
04/30/18 3:48:44 AM
#17:


Howl posted...
MFBKBass5 posted...
Dash_Harber posted...
My wife and I have been together for 7 years and still don't really feel like making our marriage official or having kids. Different strokes.


Why would you call her your wife if youre not married?what


I know people who do that too. I always thought it was stupid. If you call the woman you're with your wife why don't you just get married? You get a lot of legal benefits from being actually legally married, and alot of them will save you a shit ton of money.


Except, as I mentioned above, we are legally married according to said tax benefits and such.
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Howl
04/30/18 3:50:12 AM
#18:


Dash_Harber posted...
Howl posted...
MFBKBass5 posted...
Dash_Harber posted...
My wife and I have been together for 7 years and still don't really feel like making our marriage official or having kids. Different strokes.


Why would you call her your wife if youre not married?what


I know people who do that too. I always thought it was stupid. If you call the woman you're with your wife why don't you just get married? You get a lot of legal benefits from being actually legally married, and alot of them will save you a shit ton of money.


Except, as I mentioned above, we are legally married according to said tax benefits and such.


I didn't read your post before I posted mine. I was still typing mine out I guess. It takes forever on my phone.
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DoctorVader
04/30/18 3:52:07 AM
#19:


When you're my age (31), every girl you date brings up marriage within the first month. Well, as long as they're above 25.
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im not 13
04/30/18 3:52:44 AM
#20:


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Dash_Harber
04/30/18 3:53:07 AM
#21:


Howl posted...
Dash_Harber posted...
Howl posted...
MFBKBass5 posted...
Dash_Harber posted...
My wife and I have been together for 7 years and still don't really feel like making our marriage official or having kids. Different strokes.


Why would you call her your wife if youre not married?what


I know people who do that too. I always thought it was stupid. If you call the woman you're with your wife why don't you just get married? You get a lot of legal benefits from being actually legally married, and alot of them will save you a shit ton of money.


Except, as I mentioned above, we are legally married according to said tax benefits and such.


I didn't read your post before I posted mine. I was still typing mine out I guess. It takes forever on my phone.


Ah, fair enough. That makes sense.
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MFBKBass5
04/30/18 4:08:46 AM
#22:


im not 13 posted...
How old are y'all


Im 27 shes 23
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MFBKBass5
04/30/18 4:09:37 AM
#23:


Dash_Harber posted...
MFBKBass5 posted...
Dash_Harber posted...
My wife and I have been together for 7 years and still don't really feel like making our marriage official or having kids. Different strokes.


Why would you call her your wife if youre not married?what


Common law. We've lived together for 7 years now and are legally 'married' on all official forms (taxes, health, etc). We call each other husband and wife. We just don't really care about the whole ceremony/marriage license thing.


Wait Im confused. Whyd you say you dont feel like making it offIcial when you are officially married?
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knuxnole
04/30/18 4:10:08 AM
#24:


run. far away.

Anyone who brings that up after 3 months is someone to NEVER get with.
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Dash_Harber
04/30/18 4:12:00 AM
#25:


MFBKBass5 posted...
Dash_Harber posted...
MFBKBass5 posted...
Dash_Harber posted...
My wife and I have been together for 7 years and still don't really feel like making our marriage official or having kids. Different strokes.


Why would you call her your wife if youre not married?what


Common law. We've lived together for 7 years now and are legally 'married' on all official forms (taxes, health, etc). We call each other husband and wife. We just don't really care about the whole ceremony/marriage license thing.


Wait Im confused. Whyd you say you dont feel like making it offIcial when you are officially married?


I worded that poorly, sorry. Neither of us feels like we need a wedding ceremony or to sign a marriage certificate to show our commitment.
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MFBKBass5
04/30/18 4:13:15 AM
#26:


knuxnole posted...
run. far away.

Anyone who brings that up after 3 months is someone to NEVER get with.


What if I brought it up first and she agreed? Maybe were both crazy? ;)
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#27
Post #27 was unavailable or deleted.
MFBKBass5
04/30/18 4:19:07 AM
#28:


byron posted...
What is the honeymoon phase?


A myth made up by lonely incels such as yourself :)
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Dash_Harber
04/30/18 4:21:39 AM
#29:


MFBKBass5 posted...
byron posted...
What is the honeymoon phase?


A myth made up by lonely incels such as yourself :)


I'm not lonely or an incel, and I agree with him. Honestly, you guys don't know each other well enough to really know if you guys will have a future. You may, and you may not. Trying to force it after three months is super irresponsible, though, and reeks of desperation.
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MFBKBass5
04/30/18 4:23:29 AM
#30:


Dash_Harber posted...
MFBKBass5 posted...
byron posted...
What is the honeymoon phase?


A myth made up by lonely incels such as yourself :)


I'm not lonely or an incel, and I agree with him. Honestly, you guys don't know each other well enough to really know if you guys will have a future. You may, and you may not. Trying to force it after three months is super irresponsible, though, and reeks of desperation.


I love when people make broad generalizations about people they dont know at all.
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Dash_Harber
04/30/18 4:25:32 AM
#31:


MFBKBass5 posted...
Dash_Harber posted...
MFBKBass5 posted...
byron posted...
What is the honeymoon phase?


A myth made up by lonely incels such as yourself :)


I'm not lonely or an incel, and I agree with him. Honestly, you guys don't know each other well enough to really know if you guys will have a future. You may, and you may not. Trying to force it after three months is super irresponsible, though, and reeks of desperation.


I love when people make broad generalizations about people they dont know at all.


Or, you know, you could stop expecting a serious in-depth analysis of your relationship based on a ridiculously shallow post on a video game message board.
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MFBKBass5
04/30/18 4:27:17 AM
#32:


Dash_Harber posted...
MFBKBass5 posted...
Dash_Harber posted...
MFBKBass5 posted...
byron posted...
What is the honeymoon phase?


A myth made up by lonely incels such as yourself :)


I'm not lonely or an incel, and I agree with him. Honestly, you guys don't know each other well enough to really know if you guys will have a future. You may, and you may not. Trying to force it after three months is super irresponsible, though, and reeks of desperation.


I love when people make broad generalizations about people they dont know at all.


Or, you know, you could stop expecting a serious in-depth analysis of your relationship based on a ridiculously shallow post on a video game message board.


Im not expecting anything. Its CE. I just like to troll people and make topics to get people all riled up
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DoctorVader
04/30/18 4:28:09 AM
#33:


MFBKBass5 posted...
byron posted...
What is the honeymoon phase?


A myth made up by lonely incels such as yourself :)

It's not a myth and some girls will intentionally try to delay it sometimes. Their true self might not come out for upwards of 2 years sometimes.

It's all about well you can handle it. Some people don't have high expectations of things and can bare it. More power to you. At the same time, many can't. That's why people are trying to kind of warn you.

The girl I'm seeing right now is not even in this state. I have preliminary thoughts that she's definitely wifey material, and we've known each other 5 weeks and we've even talked about it. However I also understand it will still take at least 2 years for me to say anything conclusive about her.
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It all just disappears, doesn't it? Everything you are, gone in a moment, like breath on a mirror. - The Doctor
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#34
Post #34 was unavailable or deleted.
catboy0_0
04/30/18 5:04:00 AM
#35:


3 months isn't that short really. But you should wait at least another 3 months to a year before getting dead set on it.
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catboy0_0
04/30/18 5:05:00 AM
#36:


oh wait this fool thinks the honeymoon phase was made up by incels? LMFAO
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WafflehouseJK
04/30/18 5:13:43 AM
#37:


That literally doesn't even make sense, how would Incels even have been in a relationship long enough to know about the honeymoon phase (which is very much real?)
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Sonic Cannon
04/30/18 5:29:37 AM
#38:


MFBKBass5 posted...
Shes currently in med school and we want to enjoy life for a while together first. Travel, see the world


Travel and seeing the world don't tend to be things you can get done in " a few years" as a new grad in medicine. Lots of evenings, weekends and public holidays are gonna be absorbed by work, and getting leave approved is usually difficult.

More broadly, I'm fine with the overall slant of this topic at age 27 and 23. My wife and I were talking about the long game at a similar stage, and we were only teenagers at the time. As long as you are both clear and honest about your intentions and expectations early on, there's no harm to having some of those conversations early.

While "honeymoon phase" is a thing, it doesn't take the same form for every relationship. We've been together ten years now, and haven't encountered any significant periods of time where we weren't happy with each other. The stream of excitement from an early relationship isn't there in the same way, but the energy is basically constantly positive. It tends to be more towards future plans than towards each other, though. Getting married quite young (age 22 and 23, we hadn't both graduated) has worked out fine for us because we support each other in external ambitions, hobbies and career plans, and haven't rushed into children. In some senses, it was very easy being young as changes in life are simply expected, and don't really shake up the relationship. We have had to do long distance for months at a time, and came out just fine. I'm of the school of thought that marriage shouldn't be delayed for purely external reasons (e.g. haven't got your life "set up" yet) if you individually and as a couple feel a good sense of identity and security.

Howl posted...
If the two of you ... are capable of fighting about things without saying things you regret to each other all the time then it's real.


This is super important at all stages of a relationship. Consider your partner's feelings at all times. Never speak or act with the intent to do damage to the person. I'm thankfully a very calm person which makes this easier. Some couples get really verbally heated, but still maintain happiness just fine because they avoid that kind of malice.
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winged_weltall
04/30/18 5:37:04 AM
#39:


In 2012 I was together with a girl, we spoke about moving in together after 3 months already. Everyone told me we'd ruin the relationship if we do this. I did what everyone told me not to do and moved in with her. 3 years later, in 2015 we got married, 2017 we bought real estate together, and now 2018 she's pregnant with our first child.

I believe in "things are moving too fast" to a certain extent. But if both of you feel fine even though things are moving fast, that's a sign of you and her being in a good relationship. Of course there's not guarantee that you'll stay together for years and years, but if you're both happy and content, I say she's definitely a keeper! Hope things go well for you guys.
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ThrillKillFan
04/30/18 5:51:48 AM
#40:


knuxnole posted...
run. far away.

Anyone who brings that up after 3 months is someone to NEVER get with.

I have to agree with this. I went out with a woman about five years ago who was absolutely obsessed with having kids from day one moment one. She also was/is Christian and eventually she dumped me because I didn't believe like she does even though the dating profile I had set up said I was 'non religious'. Guess she figured eventually I would just change how I believe to be with her. Yeah. Not happening.
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i_eat_the_booty
04/30/18 5:57:07 AM
#41:


I can already tell by this topic alone that your relationship won't even last by the end of the year.
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ThePredominate
04/30/18 5:57:46 AM
#42:


Imo its cool you're happy but it seems kinda needless and hasty to discuss? I mean talk about it when you're actually planning to or it just looks fanciful, or that you talk of big gestures but don't do them.
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emblem boy
04/30/18 5:58:51 AM
#43:


What does "talking about marriage" mean to you guys? I see nothing wrong with talking about the possibility of marriage in order to see if you have the same future goals. Making sure marriage is an end goal for you two and that you want to have kids.
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Romulox28
04/30/18 6:00:41 AM
#44:


Its honestly not that crazy to talk about marriage + kids early on when you consider that these things are ultimately the point/endgame of dating. Good to know youre on the same page about kids for example, rather than dating for 3 years, avoiding the convo, and then breaking up over different views
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g980
04/30/18 6:26:30 AM
#45:


MFBKBass5 posted...
Howl posted...
MFBKBass5 posted...
Patchwork posted...
You guys living together yet?

That's the real test, when your personal space/downtime disappears.


Nah but we actually talked about it this morning. She mentioned how amazing itd be to get to see each other every day and wake up next to me every morning :3

I could see us moving in not this summer, but next?


That will not last long. Like a few months at most before you start annoying each other. The real test is to see if the two of you can handle it when that eventually happens. If the two of you can deal with that effectively and are capable of fighting about things without saying things you regret to each other all the time then it's real. Otherwise it's just the magic of being in a new relationship that never lasts.


I hate hearing/seeing people generalize all relationships like that. Not every relationship loses its Magic after a few months. I think thats an ignorant thing to think, honestly.

Being a pessimist gets you nowhere :)


Everything loses its magic after a few months. The novel parts get normalized and sappy shit like its magic waking up with you or whatever stops

Thats not a bad thing, it just means youre starting to get a sense of what spending your life together would actually be like

But no Im sure your relationship is super special and different from everyone elses
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Vermander
04/30/18 6:31:58 AM
#46:


ThrillKillFan posted...
knuxnole posted...
run. far away.

Anyone who brings that up after 3 months is someone to NEVER get with.

I have to agree with this. I went out with a woman about five years ago who was absolutely obsessed with having kids from day one moment one. She also was/is Christian and eventually she dumped me because I didn't believe like she does even though the dating profile I had set up said I was 'non religious'. Guess she figured eventually I would just change how I believe to be with her. Yeah. Not happening.


I mean honestly it kind of depends on context. There is a big difference between saying I would like to get married one day and settle down and So when should we get married?

A girl I was dating was naming our kids already after a month. That is crazy.
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MFBKBass5
04/30/18 7:36:53 AM
#48:


winged_weltall posted...
In 2012 I was together with a girl, we spoke about moving in together after 3 months already. Everyone told me we'd ruin the relationship if we do this. I did what everyone told me not to do and moved in with her. 3 years later, in 2015 we got married, 2017 we bought real estate together, and now 2018 she's pregnant with our first child.

I believe in "things are moving too fast" to a certain extent. But if both of you feel fine even though things are moving fast, that's a sign of you and her being in a good relationship. Of course there's not guarantee that you'll stay together for years and years, but if you're both happy and content, I say she's definitely a keeper! Hope things go well for you guys.


Hey congrats! I know lots of couples just like this. Moving fast isnt a bad thing imo. Especially because were both looking to settle down with someone. Our goals align. No issue there :)
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Aloner
04/30/18 8:46:18 AM
#49:


MFBKBass5 posted...
byron posted...
What is the honeymoon phase?


A myth made up by lonely incels such as yourself :)

You were probably equally arrogant about previous relationships.
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Hairy-man
04/30/18 9:00:41 AM
#50:


Romulox28 posted...
Its honestly not that crazy to talk about marriage + kids early on when you consider that these things are ultimately the point/endgame of dating. Good to know youre on the same page about kids for example, rather than dating for 3 years, avoiding the convo, and then breaking up over different views

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orangefire25
04/30/18 9:06:50 AM
#51:


Me and my wife knew we were gonna get married within 6 months tbh. So we immediately upon having the funds moved in together. That worked out fabulously.

All that was when I was only 20, and she was only 22.

If y'all as individuals are mature and level headed you'll be okay.
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