Current Events > Girlfriend is asking me for an open relationship

(+) Yeah! (+)

butthole666 posted...

Tadamoto42 posted...

You should have done what this guy did:




Basically, girl asks for an open relationship, guy dumps her right there on the spot, and breaks all contact with her.

Nah that guy is a POS

Cuck detected
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Howl posted...

markconigliaro posted...

So many people in this topic don't know what an open relationship is. Hint, it's not banging who ever you want whenever you want (most of the time, that's very rare).

Some serious trust issues in here too.

LittleRoyal posted...

Topics like these thst remind me of CEs disgusting view of women

That too.

Are you married with kids? I'm asking honestly because nothing I've said in this topic is remotely misogynistic or even close. Everything I've said is just good advice for anyone to listen to whether they are male or female.

Nope, just in a 7 year, long distance relationship (6 hour drive), so trust is very important in my relationship.

And I wasn't talking specifically to you, or misogyny, but going back through the topic I found:

Howl posted...

What you did was give her the power in the relationship to decide how things will proceed with you. Now she'll blame you and still fuck other guys at the same time and try to paint you as the bad guy and will probably even shut down the potential for maintaining a friends with benefits scenario in the future.

I don't know man, I wouldn't exactly call that "not even close to misogynistic". I also wouldn't call it misogynistic really, but the line is being approached. That's a lot of assumptions all revolving around the girl wanting to fuck other guys (plural, and as I've said before, open relationships often have only 1 other partner) and the guy ONLY staying with her for the possibility of sex.

Also you seem to be under the opinion that even asking the question means she's already banging other guys, which is a huge, major trust issue on it's own. If your first thought about a girl asking the question is "she's cheating on me right now", maybe that relationship was bound to fail anyway. Having a conversation does not mean cheating is happening, at all, not even a little.
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Vermander posted...

Guess she has romantic feelings for her friend, but not sexual attraction.

That's actually much worse. It means she loves somebody else and just wants to bone you. End it.

I don't know how anyone in their right mind could think "I'm asking for permission to cheat, no biggie. They can say no." As far as I'm concerned, them asking that is them ending things indirectly. If they really loved the other person, they'd be able to understand from their own POV how much it would hurt them if things were reversed. If it doesn't bother them, then they're not relationship material. You can't go around fucking whoever you want and expect a person that cares about you to be fine with it just because you give them permission to do the same. I can't wrap my head around the concept of an open relationship. It's just friends with benefits under a different name and somebody is bound to get hurt every time.
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I'm starting to like this place. It be a gaming forum, I thought it'd be like 4chan or that other horrible sjw game forum.

But yeah op, it's over.

In the great words of Misc: Purchase a 1-Way flight to North Carolina

markconigliaro posted...

Howl posted...

markconigliaro posted...

So many people in this topic don't know what an open relationship is. Hint, it's not banging who ever you want whenever you want (most of the time, that's very rare).

Some serious trust issues in here too.

LittleRoyal posted...

Topics like these thst remind me of CEs disgusting view of women

That too.

Are you married with kids? I'm asking honestly because nothing I've said in this topic is remotely misogynistic or even close. Everything I've said is just good advice for anyone to listen to whether they are male or female.

Nope, just in a 7 year, long distance relationship (6 hour drive), so trust is very important in my relationship.

And I wasn't talking specifically to you, or misogyny, but going back through the topic I found:

Howl posted...

What you did was give her the power in the relationship to decide how things will proceed with you. Now she'll blame you and still fuck other guys at the same time and try to paint you as the bad guy and will probably even shut down the potential for maintaining a friends with benefits scenario in the future.

I don't know man, I wouldn't exactly call that "not even close to misogynistic". I also wouldn't call it misogynistic really, but the line is being approached. That's a lot of assumptions all revolving around the girl wanting to fuck other guys (plural, and as I've said before, open relationships often have only 1 other partner) and the guy ONLY staying with her for the possibility of sex.

Also you seem to be under the opinion that even asking the question means she's already banging other guys, which is a huge, major trust issue on it's own. If your first thought about a girl asking the question is "she's cheating on me right now", maybe that relationship was bound to fail anyway. Having a conversation does not mean cheating is happening, at all, not even a little.

I wouldn't say that her asking that definitely means that she's already cheating, but in most cases it means she's defintely at least thought seriously about it or that she already has. If she felt it was necessary enough to bring the conversation up seriously, then she obviously has no worry that it would end the relationship otherwise she never would have said it. It would never be in her self-interest or in the interest of the relationship to do so.
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Holy she was already cheating on you I bet

You already let her know how you feel. Its up to her whether or not she wants to be with you. Personally I feel that she is asking this to rationalize her possibly cheating on you but you'll never know unless you ask. Best of luck TC but if you're tired of waiting I say just cut it off.
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Vermander posted...

Guess she has romantic feelings for her friend, but not sexual attraction.

So Ive gotta shut this down right?

Get out if she wants to mess with her girl or another guy this isnt going to end welll for you

Depends on how you feel about this.

If you don't agree: say no to it.

If it gets worse after that: go see a couples counselor.

If she does it with her friend behind your back without your consent: dump her immediately; She cannot be trusted if she crosses that line without you being ok with it.
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Mehhhhh idk bro, like me and best friend are so close most people think we date, but we don't, and it's literally never in over a year negatively affected any of her relationships or my own marriage.

Like we call each other names like babe and Bae and etc and hold hands occasionally, but like we've never made a move on each other and all that shit I mentioned our significant others know about.

I'm not saying that's what your gf has in mind but I wouldn't just disregard her. Idk bro
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Just cut your losses on this one.

I only skimmed the first few posts but it looks like TC understands this is over

You are correct.
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Vermander posted...

I guess I should have explained, my girlfriend is bi, and has dated/slept with women.

Still doesn't change what I said. You laying down the ultimatum that only ffm threesomes are ok it robs(can't think of a better word at the moment) her of any possibility of other dicks, where as you get showered in pussy(which I assume is your preferred genitalia.)

If you want to keep her and are secure enough with yourself, you can tell her you are not open to a fully open relationship, but threesomes ffm/mmf to start and see where it goes. Maybe you guys become a full on swinger couple, maybe you guys break up after finding out how each other react to seeing your SO with another person. Maybe she develops a cuck fetish watching you rail a chick during one of your ffm threesomes. There are quite a few ways this can play out.

I agree with Howl to an extent, you did play your hand a little too soon and going back with a varied ultimatum is not necessarily a good plan but I don't know what your relationship with her is like. I don't know you and I don't know her.

Basically if the question made you uncomfortable and has caused you to lose trust than your best bet is to move on. If you are confident enough that you can get chicks, and that's what you want, you have nothing to lose. Or like I mentioned earlier, you can start with a bit of swinging and see where it goes.
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markconigliaro posted...

Orthopox12 posted...

markconigliaro posted...

So many people in this topic don't know what an open relationship is. Hint, it's not banging who ever you want whenever you want (most of the time, that's very rare).

Some serious trust issues in here too.

LittleRoyal posted...

Topics like these thst remind me of CEs disgusting view of women

That too.

How about you elaborate on your vague high road response? Im sure the TC could use your perspective as well.

Because I'm about to go to bed and didn't want to start a discussion now. But to put it simply, it's all about communication.There are rules in an open relationship, very, very strict rules. Some standard rules being only 1 partner, must be approved by the other party, all people communicate with each other so there's nothing going on behind backs (including all meetups), and there is still a primary couple and most time is spent with them, maybe even a limited amount of time with the other person. Yes there is still cheating in an open relationship. If your picking up a girl at a bar and using the excuse "it's not cheating, we have an open relationship!" then no, your wrong, that's cheating because the rules have been broken. Some people do have a free for all "don't ask don't tell" policy, but I don't understand that one at all, that fails very often.

And my comment about trust issues is all the people saying that bringing up the conversation is grounds for breaking up/she's already hooking up with someone. That just sounds like an unhealthy relationship.

This is very on the point.
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I have no idea who you are TC because I seldom come here, but after seeing this topic I made this for you so you feel better.


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orangefire25 posted...

Mehhhhh idk bro, like me and best friend are so close most people think we date, but we don't, and it's literally never in over a year negatively affected any of her relationships or my own marriage.

Like we call each other names like babe and Bae and etc and hold hands occasionally, but like we've never made a move on each other and all that shit I mentioned our significant others know about.

I'm not saying that's what your gf has in mind but I wouldn't just disregard her. Idk bro

You would not be friends with any woman of mine, and any man of hers who allows this shit is no man at all.

legendarylemur posted...

If a girl I really loved said some shit like this to me, I'd probably freak the fuck out. I would not take it well whatsoever, and we'd probably break up on the spot

Seriously this.
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ImInTHIS posted...

I'm starting to like this place. It be a gaming forum, I thought it'd be like 4chan or that other horrible sjw game forum.

But yeah op, it's over.

In the great words of Misc: Purchase a 1-Way flight to North Carolina

would you say youreinTHIS

orangefire25 posted...

Mehhhhh idk bro, like me and best friend are so close most people think we date, but we don't, and it's literally never in over a year negatively affected any of her relationships or my own marriage.

Like we call each other names like babe and Bae and etc and hold hands occasionally, but like we've never made a move on each other and all that shit I mentioned our significant others know about.

I'm not saying that's what your gf has in mind but I wouldn't just disregard her. Idk bro

but do you want to fuck her?
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IfGodCouldDie posted...

Vermander posted...

I guess I should have explained, my girlfriend is bi, and has dated/slept with women.

Still doesn't change what I said. You laying down the ultimatum that only ffm threesomes are ok it robs(can't think of a better word at the moment) her of any possibility of other dicks, where as you get showered in pussy(which I assume is your preferred genitalia.)

If you want to keep her and are secure enough with yourself, you can tell her you are not open to a fully open relationship, but threesomes ffm/mmf to start and see where it goes. Maybe you guys become a full on swinger couple, maybe you guys break up after finding out how each other react to seeing your SO with another person. Maybe she develops a cuck fetish watching you rail a chick during one of your ffm threesomes. There are quite a few ways this can play out.

I agree with Howl to an extent, you did play your hand a little too soon and going back with a varied ultimatum is not necessarily a good plan but I don't know what your relationship with her is like. I don't know you and I don't know her.

Basically if the question made you uncomfortable and has caused you to lose trust than your best bet is to move on. If you are confident enough that you can get chicks, and that's what you want, you have nothing to lose. Or like I mentioned earlier, you can start with a bit of swinging and see where it goes.

I actually do think it changes it. If his girlfriend likes sleeping with women then she could also get enjoyment out of FFM but TC isn't getting any enjoyment out of MMF. Unless he's a literal cuck I guess. But he doesn't seem to be.

Never agree to an open relationship, it only benefits the woman and lets her cheat without being wrong.
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Well lets think about this. Is she doing the thing where its only okay for her to be screwing other people but not ok for you to be seeing others? If so you already know that she isn't worth your time.

Now if you simply flat out disagree and rather not put up with the bull just break up. No need to stress out over it.
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markconigliaro posted...

Also you seem to be under the opinion that even asking the question means she's already banging other guys, which is a huge, major trust issue on it's own.

Eh, I don't know. I agree a discussion isn't necessarily a bad thing, but the discussion happening at all is still a red flag in my eyes. It means she's thinking about fucking other people enough to have a serious talk about wanting to do it. And personally, I'll just never be interested in an open relationship.

Almost every time I've seen somebody ask for an open relationship, it's because they've been cheating on you and want to openly sleep with that person or people but still get the benefits of being in a stable relationship. Get out while you can.
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KillSocialism posted...

orangefire25 posted...

Mehhhhh idk bro, like me and best friend are so close most people think we date, but we don't, and it's literally never in over a year negatively affected any of her relationships or my own marriage.

Like we call each other names like babe and Bae and etc and hold hands occasionally, but like we've never made a move on each other and all that shit I mentioned our significant others know about.

I'm not saying that's what your gf has in mind but I wouldn't just disregard her. Idk bro

You would not be friends with any woman of mine, and any man of hers who allows this shit is no man at all.

That's a little dramatic.
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Grischnak posted...

IfGodCouldDie posted...

Vermander posted...

I guess I should have explained, my girlfriend is bi, and has dated/slept with women.

Still doesn't change what I said. You laying down the ultimatum that only ffm threesomes are ok it robs(can't think of a better word at the moment) her of any possibility of other dicks, where as you get showered in pussy(which I assume is your preferred genitalia.)

If you want to keep her and are secure enough with yourself, you can tell her you are not open to a fully open relationship, but threesomes ffm/mmf to start and see where it goes. Maybe you guys become a full on swinger couple, maybe you guys break up after finding out how each other react to seeing your SO with another person. Maybe she develops a cuck fetish watching you rail a chick during one of your ffm threesomes. There are quite a few ways this can play out.

I agree with Howl to an extent, you did play your hand a little too soon and going back with a varied ultimatum is not necessarily a good plan but I don't know what your relationship with her is like. I don't know you and I don't know her.

Basically if the question made you uncomfortable and has caused you to lose trust than your best bet is to move on. If you are confident enough that you can get chicks, and that's what you want, you have nothing to lose. Or like I mentioned earlier, you can start with a bit of swinging and see where it goes.

I actually do think it changes it. If his girlfriend likes sleeping with women then she could also get enjoyment out of FFM but TC isn't getting any enjoyment out of MMF. Unless he's a literal cuck I guess. But he doesn't seem to be.

But if that's not what she wants than she isn't necessarily going to get enjoyment out of it. I'm just saying that if he asks for a FFM threesome, she has every right to ask for a mmf threesome. And that idea in and of itself is not a bad place to start if you are going to ease into that kind of relationship.
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IfGodCouldDie posted...

KillSocialism posted...

orangefire25 posted...

Mehhhhh idk bro, like me and best friend are so close most people think we date, but we don't, and it's literally never in over a year negatively affected any of her relationships or my own marriage.

Like we call each other names like babe and Bae and etc and hold hands occasionally, but like we've never made a move on each other and all that shit I mentioned our significant others know about.

I'm not saying that's what your gf has in mind but I wouldn't just disregard her. Idk bro

You would not be friends with any woman of mine, and any man of hers who allows this shit is no man at all.

That's a little dramatic.

What kind of man would allow his woman to hold hands and flirt with another dude? Men and women can't be platonic friends like that, maybe unless they do not find each other attractive at all. That might be easier for a woman, but a dude would fuck almost anything and any dude, I don't care if it's you, the guy I quoted or anyone else, any normal dude will absolutely have the desire to fuck any average woman so long as she looks decent. So that needs to just be nipped in the bud before it creates problem for my relationship. And if she can't handle the fact that those sort of boundaries must exist, or if she's too naive to realize that her male "best friend" does actually want to fuck the shit out of her, then she isn't the sort of woman who would be capable of rearing a child properly.

Howl posted...

markconigliaro posted...

So many people in this topic don't know what an open relationship is. Hint, it's not banging who ever you want whenever you want (most of the time, that's very rare).

Some serious trust issues in here too.

LittleRoyal posted...

Topics like these thst remind me of CEs disgusting view of women

That too.

Are you married with kids? I'm asking honestly because nothing I've said in this topic is remotely misogynistic or even close. Everything I've said is just good advice for anyone to listen to whether they are male or female.

Theres nothing wrong with this topic, he's just going for brownie points with little royal
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You know you already been cuck'd TC

Bail out
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IfGodCouldDie posted...

But if that's not what she wants than she isn't necessarily going to get enjoyment out of it. I'm just saying that if he asks for a FFM threesome, she has every right to ask for a mmf threesome. And that idea in and of itself is not a bad place to start if you are going to ease into that kind of relationship.

Well obviously she shouldn't preform sex acts she doesn't want to perform. And I say again, the situations are not the same. If she is bi then a FFM for her is very different then a MMF for him. Now if she was straight or he was bi then it'd be the same situation but it isn't so it's not.

She was telling me last night when we went to bed that she wants to spend her life with me, she just likes the way this dude makes her feel.

She doesnt seem too comfortable with me casually dating other girls because she thinks I dont have tbe emotional capacity for more than one woman in my life.
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DoomsSD posted...

Dude it's done. Finished. End of.

She wants to be with the other dude and doesn't want the emotional guilt of dumping you so she's shoving her crisis onto your ass and making you responsible for what happens next.

I dont get the feeling she wants to dump me at all. As for her cheating, I dont think she has, but I cant really prove it. (Well physically anyways)
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Vermander posted...

She was telling me last night when we went to bed that she wants to spend her life with me, she just likes the way this dude makes her feel.

She doesnt seem too comfortable with me casually dating other girls because she thinks I dont have tbe emotional capacity for more than one woman in my life.

Break the fuck up with her already you fucking cuck.

you all really buying he's got a girlfriend in the first place?

he's raking in the free attention cause CE gonna CE lol
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Vermander posted...

I dont get the feeling she wants to dump me at all. As for her cheating, I dont think she has, but I cant really prove it. (Well physically anyways)

Holy shit she doesn't respect you because you can't even stand up for yourself. How do you not see how fucking weak you are? Have some God damn self respect.

NonDairyMiltank posted...

you all really buying he's got a girlfriend in the first place?

he's raking in the free attention cause CE gonna CE lol

I am praying to God this is fake because it is physically painful to read. Regardless there are "men" out there that act like that, if this happened to me I would dump her on the spot, I would get that blind rage where I wouldn't even know what else I'd do to her.

WSM Piru posted...

Lmfao if you think there is no sexual attraction.

This. Shes probably already blown him

Kensaimage posted...

WSM Piru posted...

Lmfao if you think there is no sexual attraction.

This. Shes probably already blown him

I would like to think she would just be honest with me.
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Vermander posted...

Kensaimage posted...

WSM Piru posted...

Lmfao if you think there is no sexual attraction.

This. Shes probably already blown him

I would like to think she would just be honest with me.

if you'd like to think what you'd like to think, then why even post about this on gamefaqs if you won't consider someone else's opinion?
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for those unaware this is OP's gimmick
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Vermander's timing with these threads is impeccable and ensures everyone always takes it seriously
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Im starting to think this is a gimmick, yeah
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weekoldhotdog posted...

Vermander posted...

Kensaimage posted...

WSM Piru posted...

Lmfao if you think there is no sexual attraction.

This. Shes probably already blown him

I would like to think she would just be honest with me.

if you'd like to think what you'd like to think, then why even post about this on gamefaqs if you won't consider someone else's opinion?

To vent
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Vermander posted...

She was telling me last night when we went to bed that she wants to spend her life with me, she just likes the way this dude makes her feel.

She doesnt seem too comfortable with me casually dating other girls because she thinks I dont have tbe emotional capacity for more than one woman in my life.

Clearly something has already happened here.

The only possible way an open relationship works is if both sides are mutually okay with participating and are openly communicating about it. If she can't accept you sharing yourself with another woman then you should either provide a compelling argument to support your side or call the whole thing off.

What, like I was going to say "huuurrr give that whure the boot, bro" like 97% of the foreveralones here....
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Jagr_68 posted...

What, like I was going to say "huuurrr give that whure the boot, bro" like 97% of the foreveralones here....

Im married and Im with the foreveralones on this one.

I have never ever ever ever ever seen a once monogamous relationship be converted into an open one without someone being deeply wounded. Its likely different if you both enter a relationship with that idea.
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Mr_Biscuit posted...

Jagr_68 posted...

What, like I was going to say "huuurrr give that whure the boot, bro" like 97% of the foreveralones here....

Im married and Im with the foreveralones on this one.

I have never ever ever ever ever seen a once monogamous relationship be converted into an open one without someone being deeply wounded. Its likely different if you both enter a relationship with that idea.

while i agree the appropriate response is "No, and don't ask again."

jumping to the conclusion that your partner is cheating is not realistic or logical
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Darkman124 posted...

Mr_Biscuit posted...

Jagr_68 posted...

What, like I was going to say "huuurrr give that whure the boot, bro" like 97% of the foreveralones here....

Im married and Im with the foreveralones on this one.

I have never ever ever ever ever seen a once monogamous relationship be converted into an open one without someone being deeply wounded. Its likely different if you both enter a relationship with that idea.

while i agree the appropriate response is "No, and don't ask again."

jumping to the conclusion that your partner is cheating is not realistic or logical

The appropriate response is no, and we should see other people.

Maybe she hasnt already cheated. Great. The fact that shes asking is still an inherent gigantic red flag of incompatibility. Shes not just gonna go oh ok! and forget she brought it up. She either HAS cheated or wants to but doesnt want the guilt.
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