Current Events > You only live once; How's your life?

(+) Yeah! (+)

Explain what you need to improve
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Eh, decent

For the first time, I'm more satisfied than not with where I am. Only things holding me back are my own internal issues, laziness and lack of self confidence mostly
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Decent, even though Im usually always in physical pain.
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Horrible after a mental breakdown i had 2 years ago

good.

would ask for more financial security, otherwise it's fine. despite the plate of problems (stemming from others).
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I'm going to go with bad for now. It's kind of at a weird place where I could see things move up to decent, or backtrack to atrocious. >_>
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Decent. I have everyone and everything I love around me, though I could REALLY have a better job.
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That's the motto
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Good.
By what I can only say is a miracle I have a loving family and was left my home.
The downside is I have next to no work and have only a very small pension for lack of a better term that I get once a month.
I survive but it's not sustainable.

What work I do get as a substitute is fine but I wish positions weren't so scarce.
Which brings me to my latest dilemma I was thinking of posting about simply because. I signing up online last week for a month worth of work. Great. But it turned out to be Grounds when I thought it was Maintenance. My whole life I always saw men working physical labor in the sun and just knew in my soul I could never do it. I'm small, I'm weak, I have nightmarish allergies and the heat feels suffocating. Even just temps in the 80s if I'm in the sun too long.
2 days. That's how long I lasted at this. Yesterday and today. I cancelled the rest and I'll just hope class aide, assistant or custodial opens up. It feels like school all over again. Every guy there at the shop before everyone goes to their site are all like real man sized. I'm half their size and have a quarter their strength and their endurance. Carrying gas powered equipment for 6 hours buzzing down hills in the sun and then futilely trying to lift cans the size of me filled with green waste. I can honestly barely lift my right arm. It's propped on the table and I can type but I can't even fucking lift it to lather up with soap when I took a shower right now. It's like it's dead from soreness.
I actually feel embarrassed. I feel like I want to hide in a corner. And it's physically beyond me. The last few hours today I felt like I was about to pass out.
And yeah, go ahead and laugh.
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Good. Once I get to where I want to be career wise, once I get engaged, and once my girl is done with her Masters itll be great.
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MichaelJackson posted...

Horrible after a mental breakdown i had 2 years ago

Story time ~
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xlAt5V-cBGk" data-time="
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Fantastic. Beautiful wife of 15 years, 4 children and a great job. Everything I longed for in my early 20's.
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AngryGrandpa posted...

MichaelJackson posted...

Horrible after a mental breakdown i had 2 years ago

Story time ~

you actually want to know?

MichaelJackson posted...

AngryGrandpa posted...

MichaelJackson posted...

Horrible after a mental breakdown i had 2 years ago

Story time ~

you actually want to know?

Yeah, I'm not gonna be surprised though. I've been through a lot as well.
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Good overall, but would be better if I could find a job. I have been uneployed since the end of November
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I'm gonna say decent. I've finally decided what I'm doing with my life as far as like a general career path but I'm so burnt out on classes and my current job that I've been pretty depressed these past couple months. I think I'll be better after I get a new job but I've been having a lot of trouble motivating myself lately
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Lvaneede posted...

Good overall, but would be better if I could find a job. I have been uneployed since the end of November

It feels like time stops, while the rest of the world around you continues and it sucks.
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too much anger

i need to find a new counselor

otherwise good
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good can be better easily if i ever decide to be great.

...i just do everything half-heartedly though because I could and its easier. with some effort, i am sure I can be greater than ever.
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My babe is making me vegan doughnuts right now. I voted great.
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Bump
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better than it used to be a few months back
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Better than average financially (thanks to my dad). Worse than average, health-wise.
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i'm trying to acclimate myself and flip over to nights for an upcoming schedule shift so the last few days i've been feeling pretty tired, but other than that things are good.
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I'd say my life is pretty good: I have a steady job, a decent car, along with family and friends.

Now in a perfect world I'd be a billionaire married to Felicia Day, but oh well.
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AngryGrandpa posted...

MichaelJackson posted...

AngryGrandpa posted...

MichaelJackson posted...

Horrible after a mental breakdown i had 2 years ago

Story time ~

you actually want to know?

Yeah, I'm not gonna be surprised though. I've been through a lot as well.

I went off to college and started smoking weed when i was 19, no issues, then smoked some laced weed and have had severe depersonalization/derealization, anxiety, and depression ever since, I was going to college out of state, had to drop out and move back home with parents, quit my job, got 50k in debt, stopped socializing, feeling on the verge of insanity everyday, and essentially became a dysfunctional mess. Fast forward 2 years later im almost 22 and I've worked my way back to school, going to community college now, had to start my education over again because basically none of my credits transferred from my previous college and im socializing here and there when I'm able, still not working because i have bad panic attacks everyday and the derealization is still there, it's hard for me to interact with people without feeling like a complete failure/loser. Also my perception of reality feels permanently distorted because of whatever i smoked, i think differently and so on. what about you TC? how's life treated you?

It's still going.
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literally could not be any better. everything i dreamed of since childhood has come true. Dream job, dream wife, parents are healthy, siblings are doing well, I have great friends. Life is 10/10 right now.
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RedWhiteBlue posted...

MichaelJackson posted...
Jesus christ, I've read up on how some psychedelic drugs, or LSD in large amounts, can cause this. But only one account did someone finally break free of the traumatic effects that lingered for years, and it was after years of therapy. Have you had ANY luck whatsoever? It doesn't sound like it. A lot of people have killed themselves over this kind of thing.

you're referring specifically to the depersonalization right? no luck, my consciousness feels alienated from reality 24/7, it's honestly mental torture. existence is bizarre and frightening, and even after tons of meds and therapy i feel out of it, this is genuinely the most terrifying thing ive ever experienced

I would say good, although it never feels that way. I am naturally happy so I always feel better then I should :P My friend is a total pessimist and downer so it annoys me when I am with him tho >.>
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MichaelJackson posted...

AngryGrandpa posted...

MichaelJackson posted...

AngryGrandpa posted...

MichaelJackson posted...

Horrible after a mental breakdown i had 2 years ago

Story time ~

you actually want to know?

Yeah, I'm not gonna be surprised though. I've been through a lot as well.

I went off to college and started smoking weed when i was 19, no issues, then smoked some laced weed and have had severe depersonalization/derealization, anxiety, and depression ever since, I was going to college out of state, had to drop out and move back home with parents, quit my job, got 50k in debt, stopped socializing, feeling on the verge of insanity everyday, and essentially became a dysfunctional mess. Fast forward 2 years later im almost 22 and I've worked my way back to school, going to community college now, had to start my education over again because basically none of my credits transferred from my previous college and im socializing here and there when I'm able, still not working because i have bad panic attacks everyday and the derealization is still there, it's hard for me to interact with people without feeling like a complete failure/loser. Also my perception of reality feels permanently distorted because of whatever i smoked, i think differently and so on. what about you TC? how's life treated you?

Dropped out of high school. Been depressed and very antisocial. Been through some fucked up things, seen some fucked up things. My mind is damaged. I never had a job or drivers license. I don't get along with my family. I was homeless for a couple months. The closest people to me have passed away. Anxiety sucks balls. I'm a pessimist. I've been single my whole life. I have heart disease. I'm the textbook version of a loser.
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Stressful. Incredibly.

But shaping up to be out-fucking-standing.
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Decent- I've finally quit drinking and doing drugs for the last 5 months and I've been attending AA pretty frequently. I did a lot to wreck things in my life (thank God not professionally). But now I'm working on myself everyday and God willing my life will continue to get better

We have a pretty good bell curve going here.
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Lets hit 100 votes
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