Current Events > Randomly approaching a girl and asking her out

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I mean, how can that even work?

I get so pissed off when I'm doing groceries and a random employee approaches me to ask me of I want to sign up for their credit card. I don't want their credit card. I'm so tired of being asked if I want their credit card that even if it was the best credit card in the world I still wouldn't want it. As soon as he even opens his mouth and I know he's going to talk about a credit card he has zero chances of getting me to sign up for that credit card, simply because I'm just so tired of being asked.

I would assume cold approaching a girl you never met is kind of similar, unless you're Casanova.
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Doesn't work unless you are an extremely handsome man.
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LethalAffinity posted...

Doesn't work unless you are an extremely handsome man.

Then why doesnt it work for me?

I know why :(

cold approaches don't work

but sometimes you and a stranger are in a place and circumstances create a reason for you to have a conversation

i dated a girl i met on the dc metro system because i gave up my seat to a tired looking dad and his kid and the only remaining seat was next to her

having done a reasonably pleasant thing in front of her she had some reason to interact with me, and we had a nice five minute chat, then i asked if she was free the one night she hadn't mentioned having plans.

she was clearly not expecting it, had that "is this really happening?" look, but decided to go for it anyway.

i was glad she did.
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It does happen but almost always you gotta flirt a little, trade numbers, etc first. If you mean literally just going up and asking a girl out on the spot youre being a lil extreme.
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Darkman124 posted...

cold approaches don't work

but sometimes you and a stranger are in a place and circumstances create a reason for you to have a conversation

i dated a girl i met on the dc metro system because i gave up my seat to a tired looking dad and his kid and the only remaining seat was next to her

having done a reasonably pleasant thing in front of her she had some reason to interact with me, and we had a nice five minute chat, then i asked if she was free the one night she hadn't mentioned having plans.

she was clearly not expecting it, had that "is this really happening?" look, but decided to go for it anyway.

i was glad she did.

How'd the date go?

Darkman124 posted...

cold approaches don't work

They do if you have good social skills.

I know a guy who'd get laid by a new girl a week based on cold approaches. Of course, he started off pretty shitty and getting rejected all the time. But the growing pains were worth it for him lol

Ruvan22 posted...

Darkman124 posted...

cold approaches don't work

but sometimes you and a stranger are in a place and circumstances create a reason for you to have a conversation

i dated a girl i met on the dc metro system because i gave up my seat to a tired looking dad and his kid and the only remaining seat was next to her

having done a reasonably pleasant thing in front of her she had some reason to interact with me, and we had a nice five minute chat, then i asked if she was free the one night she hadn't mentioned having plans.

she was clearly not expecting it, had that "is this really happening?" look, but decided to go for it anyway.

i was glad she did.

How'd the date go?

I bet he banged the crap outta her
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frozenshock posted...

I mean, how can that even work?

I get so pissed off when I'm doing groceries and a random employee approaches me to ask me of I want to sign up for their credit card. I don't want their credit card. I'm so tired of being asked if I want their credit card that even if it was the best credit card in the world I still wouldn't want it. As soon as he even opens his mouth and I know he's going to talk about a credit card he has zero chances of getting me to sign up for that credit card, simply because I'm just so tired of being asked.

I would assume cold approaching a girl you never met is kind of similar, unless you're Casanova.

As someone who worked in a grocery store, we hate asking just as much as you hate being asked. Especially because like you said nobody says yes and if you don't get a certain percentage of people to sign up there's write ups awaiting.

I stopped caring and would only ask when a manager was in earshot. I know this wasn't the point of this topic but just sharing I guess.
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RockLee94 posted...

As someone who worked in a grocery store, we hate asking just as much as you hate being asked. Especially because like you said nobody says yes and if you don't get a certain percentage of people to sign up there's write ups awaiting.

I stopped caring and would only ask when a manager was in earshot. I know this wasn't the point of this topic but just sharing I guess.

Some managements are just extraordinarily shitty.
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Darkman124 posted...

but sometimes you and a stranger are in a place and circumstances create a reason for you to have a conversation

Oh but that's not the same thing at all.
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What most guys don't realize is that she has to have a reason to like you.
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It never works if you don't try, but as stated, you shouldn't just jump the gun on it.
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frozenshock posted...

Oh but that's not the same thing at all.

you do still have to initiate it

Ruvan22 posted...

How'd the date go?

extremely well. i was very impressed with her.

we continued seeing one another after the date. she and i had a lot in common and if she were staying in the area longer-term it'd have had legs. even when she left we stayed in touch and did the long distance thing a little.

when i met my wife, there were a bunch of old flings of mine still in my life in one way or another, but it was only this girl that i considered a concern. i did the slow fade out with her at that point because i didn't want my wife spooked by "the one that got away"
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I cold approach women all the time in different places. Stores, malls, bars etc. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. Having a general idea of how to lead the conversation is extremely helpful

I usually try to find something to comment on. One of the recent girls I met, I saw her browsing the greek yogurt section of the grocery store and my opener to her was simply "There's too many choices right?". I've found that to work pretty well in general actually. From there you just kinda...have a conversation with them. After a few minutes, I always say something along the lines of "Well I've got to jet but you know what, I'd hate to never see you again. How about this, how about I grab your number from you and you and I can figure out a time later to meet up for a drink or two"

If I've gotten that far in the conversation, I almost always get their number and I've actually fairly rarely been flaked on.

Another girl that things just recently fizzled out with I met back in mid December at the mall. My opener to her was simply "Hey do you mind if I interrupt you for a second". You really don't need some witty comment as a conversation starter, although they can definitely be helpful obviously.
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