Current Events > WAC (What's a Computer?) Analysis

(+) Yeah! (+)

When I first saw that little girl's face, a doughy, latte-brown mug masked behind an insidious array of pretentious curls, I shuddered. Even before she uttered those untimely words, I knew that whatever Apple was about to show us would be anathema for intelligent, rational-minded individuals such as myself. The first act of the commercial (in my study of this dreadful advertisement, I've dissected its plot into two acts) we, the viewer of this corrupted display of capitalism, trail behind an ugly, racially ambiguous twelve year old that dicks around Brooklyn with a pink iPad. We're shown the supposed 'utility' of iOS tablets, wherein the protagonist multitasks texting with video calling; of course, Apple fails to mention that Android has had this capability since at least v2.3 Gingerbread, but to the Appleite, this is of little importance; function is sin, aesthetic is virtue. I would like to continue my analysis of the first act; however, I understand that the attention span of average IQ individuals (you) is insufficient for a truly in-depth look-see of Apple and its inadequacies, so I'll wrap it up quickly. The phrase "What's a computer" (I prefer calling it by the controversial acronym WAC) needs to be banned from our collective discourse. It's poison to the civil society. WAC opposes liberal, democratic, western values, and we can't have it.