Current Events > OkCupid/Tinder/ Bumble/online dating/regular dating stories/advice topic

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TheGoldenEel
02/22/18 2:28:58 PM
#1:


do we still need one of these? here it is

I have had a girlfriend for approximately a week now*. she's coming on a weekend trip with my family in a couple weeks

share your stories and experiences with the dating world CE
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Muffinz0rz
02/22/18 2:50:17 PM
#2:


you're taking your girlfriend of a week on a weekend trip with your family?
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#3
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TheGoldenEel
02/22/18 3:03:04 PM
#4:


Muffinz0rz posted...
you're taking your girlfriend of a week on a weekend trip with your family?

Shoot the reason theres the asterisk is I was gonna explain it

Weve been friends for years, started booking up around July last year, started acknowledging we were dating because like Sept/Oct, had a talk about being exclusive the end of October, then the end of December she broke things off saying basically she wasnt ready to be in a relationship-relationship yet after her shitty ex left her abruptly from a five-yr thing. But she still wanted to hang out all the time and last week she asked me to take her back and that she was ready for that sort of investment

So shes not really a new girlfriend but kind of is
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Muffinz0rz
02/22/18 3:04:01 PM
#5:


Conflict posted...
I want to ask this girl out over text but she mentioned having the flu and laryngitis. Should I just wait until she gets better? I want to be direct and I don't want to wait too long but I also don't want to do it at the wrong time either

yes, wait until she gets better

don't text her every day or anything like that; in my experience, even a simple "how are you feeling?" can be misconstrued as a "hurry up and feel better so i can bang you" question, rather than a legit question about her health and well-being.

I'd say check in about a week later; the flu can last a long time

TheGoldenEel posted...
Muffinz0rz posted...
you're taking your girlfriend of a week on a weekend trip with your family?

Shoot the reason theres the asterisk is I was gonna explain it

Weve been friends for years, started booking up around July last year, started acknowledging we were dating because like Sept/Oct, had a talk about being exclusive the end of October, then the end of December she broke things off saying basically she wasnt ready to be in a relationship-relationship yet after her shitty ex left her abruptly from a five-yr thing. But she still wanted to hang out all the time and last week she asked me to take her back and that she was ready for that sort of investment

So shes not really a new girlfriend but kind of is

oh okay that makes sense
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TheGoldenEel
02/22/18 3:04:11 PM
#6:


Conflict posted...
I'm about to ask a really dumb question

I want to ask this girl out over text but she mentioned having the flu and laryngitis. Should I just wait until she gets better? I want to be direct and I don't want to wait too long but I also don't want to do it at the wrong time either

How do you know her?

Id say if youre talking mention that youd like to go out but you know shes sick? Im no Casanova but Id say hope you feel better soon so we can go out for [whatever]
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KogaSteelfang
02/22/18 3:07:05 PM
#7:


TheGoldenEel posted...
Muffinz0rz posted...
you're taking your girlfriend of a week on a weekend trip with your family?

Shoot the reason theres the asterisk is I was gonna explain it

Weve been friends for years, started hooking up around July last year, started acknowledging we were dating like Sept/Oct, had a talk about being exclusive the end of October, then the end of December she broke things off saying basically she wasnt ready to be in a relationship-relationship yet after her shitty ex left her abruptly from a five-yr thing. But she still wanted to hang out all the time and last week she asked me to take her back and that she was ready for that sort of investment

So shes not really a new girlfriend but kind of is

I'm glad you got things worked out with her. Congrats.
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Silver Bearings
02/22/18 3:23:43 PM
#8:


Still talking to the flake girl. Spent all day Monday with her. Haven't seen her since!
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#9
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Silver Bearings
02/22/18 3:42:34 PM
#10:


I feel like since this is a new topic, maybe it's time to tell the story about the flake girl.

So my friend and I met this girl about 2 years ago and he asked her out. Every time we were together as a group, she would always hang around me and ignore him. They only went on two dates alone. But he was my friend, so I ignored her. Finally, her roommate pulled me aside and yelled at me for not asking this girl out since she liked me and not my friend. So after another couple of weeks or so, I finally asked her out and we went on our first date. Spent a lot of time together after that, but she's flaky as hell.

So I told her to leave me alone, that I needed something more stable. Two months later, she's trying to get back with me and the cycle happens again. One month on, two months off. I finally got mad enough that I blocked her number, etc., but I ended up caving three months later when she showed up crying at my door with a note saying how she loved me, but isn't ready to commit to a serious relationship because "she knows we'd end up getting married." Been hanging out with her flaky-self for about one month now.

I've decided to just enjoy it when she shows up (totally worth it) while looking for someone else. We always end up coming back together, but I'm starting to tire of it after two years.

TL; DR: Background of the saga of me seeing a flaky girl for 2 years.
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TheGoldenEel
02/22/18 4:22:45 PM
#11:


KogaSteelfang posted...

I'm glad you got things worked out with her. Congrats.

Still a little cautious but she def feels more like she wants this to be real relationship now than two friends casually hooking up

Conflict posted...
I met her at a club at school. We (as a group) went out to eat and for bowling last week. I offered to give her my number and she texted me. I hit her up and few days later and she mentioned that when I asked her how she was doing

Idk if its been a couple days maybe ask her how shes doing and if shed like to go out his weekend? But be prepared for her to say no shes still sick. Personally I think its better to maintain a little contact and not just text her two weeks later out of the blue

Silver Bearings posted...
TL; DR: Background of the saga of me seeing a flaky girl for 2 years.

Tbh thats what Id do. No reason to close the door on it if its not causing you too much pain, but definitely look elsewhere meanwhile

Kind of what I did with my girl and then she saw me dating and realized she didnt want me to be with anyone but her
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emblem boy
02/22/18 4:40:00 PM
#12:


I think I'm gonna tell her I love her
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TheGoldenEel
02/22/18 6:16:57 PM
#13:


emblem boy posted...
I think I'm gonna tell her I love her

Do you?
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ArchangelBaruch
02/22/18 6:29:02 PM
#14:


Dayum, I just got friendzoned hard.

For the second date this girl who shares most of my hobbies invited me to her apartment. We played some games, saw Totoro and then some Adventure Time. There was no contact, but the good feeling was clearly there. When leaving we agreed on doing something on Saturday.

I get back home (she lives 40 min away) and when saying goodnight she says she isn't feeling it but that she would love to stay friends (which I also do, she's a cool girl).

Game, set and match.
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emblem boy
02/22/18 6:30:45 PM
#15:


TheGoldenEel posted...
emblem boy posted...
I think I'm gonna tell her I love her

Do you?


I think so?
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TheGoldenEel
02/23/18 10:12:00 AM
#16:


emblem boy posted...
TheGoldenEel posted...
emblem boy posted...
I think I'm gonna tell her I love her

Do you?


I think so?

Dont think about it so much. Just go with what feels right imo
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ArchangelBaruch
02/24/18 7:01:35 PM
#17:


I just sent a gift to future me by messaging 20 OKC girls.
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Blue_Popo
02/25/18 1:28:13 AM
#18:


This week in the world of dating

Earlier in the week I banged this one girl who doesn't want a relationship. I'm not that interested in having sex with her anymore but she beats porn at least

I went on a date yesterday with a girl from bumble. We actually matched in October and the conversation died a few times but we finally met. It went well, she was better looking in person and we talked until the bar closed. She was Indian (I am as well) and we had a solid connection. Nothing intense happened after but she texted me right after and we have been talking since. She is ultra successful, older than me by 5 years. She got divorced last year too

Today I went on a date from coffee meets bagel. In the same career as me and the conversation was too heavy on that. Also she had a manly face -_-. I guess the date was fun but I had no real romantic interest in her.

Also I have been having a rather troublesome issues with these apps. they just refuse to recognize my facebook. OKCupid and coffee meets bagel. I have tried everything. Deleting fb, deleting the apps, deleting them from facebook's settings. Nothing works anymore. Anyone ever encounter this issue?
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TheGoldenEel
02/25/18 12:25:12 PM
#19:


Idk @Blue_Popo it seems like youre prioritizing quantity over quality and are gonna get burned out on the whole thing

I had a much better experience dating when I started being more selective about who Id meet
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Blue_Popo
02/25/18 12:45:59 PM
#20:


TheGoldenEel posted...
Idk @Blue_Popo it seems like youre prioritizing quantity over quality and are gonna get burned out on the whole thing

I had a much better experience dating when I started being more selective about who Id meet


I went on 2 and one was from 4 months ago so I have already gotten burned out
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#21
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#22
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TheGoldenEel
02/25/18 1:26:39 PM
#23:


jeffhardyb0yz posted...
TheGoldenEel posted...
Muffinz0rz posted...
you're taking your girlfriend of a week on a weekend trip with your family?

Shoot the reason theres the asterisk is I was gonna explain it

Weve been friends for years, started hooking up around July last year, started acknowledging we were dating like Sept/Oct, had a talk about being exclusive the end of October, then the end of December she broke things off saying basically she wasnt ready to be in a relationship-relationship yet after her shitty ex left her abruptly from a five-yr thing. But she still wanted to hang out all the time and last week she asked me to take her back and that she was ready for that sort of investment

So shes not really a new girlfriend but kind of is

Ok so this is almost me but this girl left to go to school and we ended things ugly. Tried to fix things but there's nothing we can really do until she comes back. Idk if I would take her back now tbh(a few mind games were played).

What made you decide to take her back and are you confident her ex problems won't come back? Seems like a lot to deal with tbh

I guess you never know for sure do you?

Shes been one of my best friends for a while and its hard to explain but it just feels different now. I knew the ex situation was a problem the first time around but this time she definitely feels like shes equally in the relationship

I also think I reached a place where I know what I want out of a relationship and I know if Im not getting that I can walk away too

Time will tell I guess
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KogaSteelfang
02/25/18 5:30:05 PM
#24:


Ok guys, I usually only lurk these topics because seeing you guys talk about how often you have sex really disheartens me, and I'm afraid if I post I'll end up just entering pity party mode. If I promise not to do that, will you guys help me? I REALLY want to start having a dating/sex life. I don't want to keep being jealous of you guys, I want to be able to share stories of my own.
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Blue_Popo
02/25/18 8:41:06 PM
#25:


KogaSteelfang posted...
Ok guys, I usually only lurk these topics because seeing you guys talk about how often you have sex really disheartens me, and I'm afraid if I post I'll end up just entering pity party mode. If I promise not to do that, will you guys help me? I REALLY want to start having a dating/sex life. I don't want to keep being jealous of you guys, I want to be able to share stories of my own.


Well what's holding you back? What kind of pics are you using?
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KogaSteelfang
02/25/18 8:55:45 PM
#26:


Blue_Popo posted...
KogaSteelfang posted...
Ok guys, I usually only lurk these topics because seeing you guys talk about how often you have sex really disheartens me, and I'm afraid if I post I'll end up just entering pity party mode. If I promise not to do that, will you guys help me? I REALLY want to start having a dating/sex life. I don't want to keep being jealous of you guys, I want to be able to share stories of my own.


Well what's holding you back? What kind of pics are you using?

None right now, I closed all my accounts a long time ago. What's holding me back though, there's like a million reasons, a major one is social anxiety and no social skills.
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Blue_Popo
02/26/18 4:33:20 AM
#27:


KogaSteelfang posted...
Blue_Popo posted...
KogaSteelfang posted...
Ok guys, I usually only lurk these topics because seeing you guys talk about how often you have sex really disheartens me, and I'm afraid if I post I'll end up just entering pity party mode. If I promise not to do that, will you guys help me? I REALLY want to start having a dating/sex life. I don't want to keep being jealous of you guys, I want to be able to share stories of my own.


Well what's holding you back? What kind of pics are you using?

None right now, I closed all my accounts a long time ago. What's holding me back though, there's like a million reasons, a major one is social anxiety and no social skills.


I'm not going to sit here and say I am an expert at advice, but one thing I do truly believe is those can be changed.
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TheGoldenEel
02/26/18 11:31:17 AM
#28:


KogaSteelfang posted...
Ok guys, I usually only lurk these topics because seeing you guys talk about how often you have sex really disheartens me, and I'm afraid if I post I'll end up just entering pity party mode. If I promise not to do that, will you guys help me? I REALLY want to start having a dating/sex life. I don't want to keep being jealous of you guys, I want to be able to share stories of my own.

It just takes practice. Try different things and see what works, and dont let yourself get discouraged too much when things dont work (easier said than done). Just get yourself out there

Also these topics have been pity parties for many of us so dont feel bad about venting
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KogaSteelfang
02/26/18 2:58:02 PM
#29:


Blue_Popo posted...
KogaSteelfang posted...
Blue_Popo posted...
KogaSteelfang posted...
Ok guys, I usually only lurk these topics because seeing you guys talk about how often you have sex really disheartens me, and I'm afraid if I post I'll end up just entering pity party mode. If I promise not to do that, will you guys help me? I REALLY want to start having a dating/sex life. I don't want to keep being jealous of you guys, I want to be able to share stories of my own.


Well what's holding you back? What kind of pics are you using?

None right now, I closed all my accounts a long time ago. What's holding me back though, there's like a million reasons, a major one is social anxiety and no social skills.


I'm not going to sit here and say I am an expert at advice, but one thing I do truly believe is those can be changed.

Well, I'm gonna try I guess. I mean, if I want a change I have to.

TheGoldenEel posted...
KogaSteelfang posted...
Ok guys, I usually only lurk these topics because seeing you guys talk about how often you have sex really disheartens me, and I'm afraid if I post I'll end up just entering pity party mode. If I promise not to do that, will you guys help me? I REALLY want to start having a dating/sex life. I don't want to keep being jealous of you guys, I want to be able to share stories of my own.

It just takes practice. Try different things and see what works, and dont let yourself get discouraged too much when things dont work (easier said than done). Just get yourself out there

Also these topics have been pity parties for many of us so dont feel bad about venting

So what dating sites are good? I'm not sure I wanna go the tinder route, idk, maybe bumble? That ones seems interesting.
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Blue_Popo
02/26/18 4:28:22 PM
#30:


KogaSteelfang posted...
Blue_Popo posted...
KogaSteelfang posted...
Blue_Popo posted...
KogaSteelfang posted...
Ok guys, I usually only lurk these topics because seeing you guys talk about how often you have sex really disheartens me, and I'm afraid if I post I'll end up just entering pity party mode. If I promise not to do that, will you guys help me? I REALLY want to start having a dating/sex life. I don't want to keep being jealous of you guys, I want to be able to share stories of my own.


Well what's holding you back? What kind of pics are you using?

None right now, I closed all my accounts a long time ago. What's holding me back though, there's like a million reasons, a major one is social anxiety and no social skills.


I'm not going to sit here and say I am an expert at advice, but one thing I do truly believe is those can be changed.

Well, I'm gonna try I guess. I mean, if I want a change I have to.

TheGoldenEel posted...
KogaSteelfang posted...
Ok guys, I usually only lurk these topics because seeing you guys talk about how often you have sex really disheartens me, and I'm afraid if I post I'll end up just entering pity party mode. If I promise not to do that, will you guys help me? I REALLY want to start having a dating/sex life. I don't want to keep being jealous of you guys, I want to be able to share stories of my own.

It just takes practice. Try different things and see what works, and dont let yourself get discouraged too much when things dont work (easier said than done). Just get yourself out there

Also these topics have been pity parties for many of us so dont feel bad about venting

So what dating sites are good? I'm not sure I wanna go the tinder route, idk, maybe bumble? That ones seems interesting.


Just get all of them

Tinder, bumble, okcupid, coffee meets bagel and I guess pof (though this one is pretty crappy)
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KogaSteelfang
02/26/18 6:36:53 PM
#31:


Dang, bumble won't work on my iPad mini. :/
That was the one I was interested in most. Guess I'll look into that coffee meets bagel one next. Tinder and okcupid sucked for my area last time I tried.

Crap, that ones the same. It looked interesting too. Guess I'm gonna have to just go back to okcupid again. I've heard it sucks now though.
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TheGoldenEel
02/26/18 6:45:52 PM
#32:


OkCupid was always by far the best for me. Probably got like 90% of online dates from there. But I guess it depends on your area
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Blue_Popo
02/27/18 3:43:52 AM
#33:


I'd say tinder is best, bumble second, okcupid third, coffee meets bagel 4th, pof distant 5th
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TheGoldenEel
02/27/18 12:18:58 PM
#34:


For me OkCupid was by far the best, then bumble, then tinder easily the worst
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KogaSteelfang
02/27/18 1:06:21 PM
#35:


Best for what? Finding dates? Getting laid? Just meeting people?
Honestly, neither seemed very good when I tried them before. My area seems to be lacking in people to date. I'd take 20 minutes and actually run out of people to view on them. >_>
I mean, I'm willing to give anyone a shot unless they're completely repulsive in some way, but man, the pickings were extremely thin to say the least. The few people on there who looked like normal people either turned out to be bots or never responded.
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TheGoldenEel
02/27/18 1:10:19 PM
#36:


Just getting dates/meeting people

I was never trying to get laid
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KogaSteelfang
02/27/18 1:49:41 PM
#37:


TheGoldenEel posted...
Just getting dates/meeting people

I was never trying to get laid

Seems like many of you don't need to try. >_>'
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TheGoldenEel
02/27/18 2:00:14 PM
#38:


KogaSteelfang posted...
TheGoldenEel posted...
Just getting dates/meeting people

I was never trying to get laid

Seems like many of you don't need to try. >_>'

Well fwiw the only people Ive hooked up with in the past three years were my current girlfriend and previous girlfriend with like a year dry spell in between
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Romulox28
02/27/18 2:02:08 PM
#39:


i married a girl i met on tinder AMA
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TheGoldenEel
02/27/18 2:15:45 PM
#40:


Speaking of my last girlfriend I was just browsing through old fb messages for the purposes of my last post and saw that messenger the only place I still have any connection to her (she blocked me on Facebook otherwise, and I deleted her number and message history)

Is it weird to wonder how shes doing? No interest in getting back with her of coursewe just werent rightbut I did like her as a person and miss her sometimes.

Probably best to just keep that in the past I guess
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TheGoldenEel
02/28/18 11:43:36 PM
#41:


bump
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Blue_Popo
03/01/18 1:32:11 AM
#42:


Went on a date

She was not as good as her pics but still good.

...man we ended up ****ing in my car outside the bar we went to. Been a long time since I fucked a girl day one. Feels strange actually.
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ArchangelBaruch
03/01/18 6:11:39 PM
#43:


So up until now I spoke/went out with girls a couple years younger than me. Today I got a message from a 22-year old girl (I'm 28).

Feels...somewhat not right?
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C_Pain
03/01/18 6:12:03 PM
#44:


I've been with my gf I met through OKC for 3 months now. Feels good man.
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WizardofHoth
03/01/18 6:15:49 PM
#45:


Online dating just isn't safe anymore these days.

You just might end up on the Catfish show for no reason or whatever
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TheGoldenEel
03/01/18 6:18:58 PM
#46:


ArchangelBaruch posted...
So up until now I spoke/went out with girls a couple years younger than me. Today I got a message from a 22-year old girl (I'm 28).

Feels...somewhat not right?

Eh I think its okay. Im just about to turn 28 and I recently went on a date with a 22 year old. Definitely an age where they might be too young, but its worth giving it a shot. The girl I met was really cool, career motivated, etc.
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MTRodaba2468
03/01/18 6:36:04 PM
#47:


ArchangelBaruch posted...
So up until now I spoke/went out with girls a couple years younger than me. Today I got a message from a 22-year old girl (I'm 28).

Feels...somewhat not right?

I've hooked up with someone whom was 15 years younger than me, and someone whom was 14 years older than me (and yes, everyone was of legal age). If you have chemistry with that person, and everyone is of consenting age, don't let it be a hangup.
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Silver Bearings
03/02/18 4:19:17 PM
#48:


TheGoldenEel posted...
Silver Bearings posted...
TL; DR: Background of the saga of me seeing a flaky girl for 2 years.

Tbh thats what Id do. No reason to close the door on it if its not causing you too much pain, but definitely look elsewhere meanwhile

Kind of what I did with my girl and then she saw me dating and realized she didnt want me to be with anyone but her


Update: Told her to buzz off until she's ready for an adult relationship. We'll see how long that lasts...
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Silver Bearings 2020: Clear Vision for America
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Blue_Popo
03/03/18 4:17:32 AM
#49:


So my fuck buddy started dating a guy :/

Her and I had agreed we would see each other but we had to be clear when one of us found someone. O well
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Galcian
03/03/18 4:31:17 AM
#50:


tempted to use pof tbh
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