Current Events > What are some Life Pro Tips for working in the office?

(+) Yeah! (+)

Protip 1- If you hold your phone up to your face, even if you arn't talking to anyone, others tend to leave you alone and not give you additional tasks
---

Protip 2- Get a better job.
---

Don't trust anyone with any kind of information that isn't your job related. Mother fuckers are always looking to get ahead by stabbing backs.
---

- 10pm is when the morning coffee hits all the old men so the bathrooms will be crowded.

- Don't get sucked into the interdepartmental drama. If someone complains about someone else, just smile and move the conversation along.

- Always CYA. Whether it's by policy, manager approval, email communication, etc.

- Don't joke in emails. The tone will not translate and will be taken the wrong way.
---

@rabbi_baby

Stay under the radar so you have more autonomy.

Get your shit done and people will leave you alone.

Avoid volunteering for extra work after you've been there a 2-3 years. By then people will already know you get your shit done and there is no need to impress with "extras".

Try to time your in and out times 5 minutes or so after a solid or 1/2 hour time i.e. (7:25 am 3:05 pm)

Don't wear flashy outfits so you "stand out" dress professional, dress nice, but don't stand out.

In the spring, summer, and fall months when it's warm always leave your jacket in the car so it's not as easy to tell when you're coming and going.

Fill your calendar with any and all meetings even if you don't need them (there are some exceptions). A full calendar looks good.

Avoid scheduling necessary meetings in late afternoon. Keep your Monday morning and friday afternoon schedules loose.

Book time on Friday afternoons for routine things like filling out incident tickets or other BS metrics. This way you can have them done earlier in the week but have a stress free afternoon before the weekend and if you're good slip out.

Always greet everyone you see with a smile like you're the happiest motherfucker on the planet and always ask them how they are. Commenting on the weather while cliche is completely acceptable and most people enjoy talking about the weather because we can all relate.

Take early lunches so you can beat the rush and get a long lunch. If you begin moving towards your lunch at 10:55 you can likely run it out to 1:00 before people start getting back to work since most people go from 11:30 -12:30.

Keep headphones at your desk and two computer monitors if possible. Use one monitor to always have email open and other work. Use the other monitor for GF, new, amazon, ebay whatever and turn the monitor so people can't see it walking by or up to your space.

WebEx EVERYTHING. Set the precedent that you are mobile and utilize technology for efficiency. WebEx as many meetings as possible. Learn how to phone into WebEx meeting from your car if you are in transit. And if your company has a VPN WebEx from home as much as possible.

Send your emails strategically. Of course normal emails are sent immediately. But less time sensitive emails that have good visibility should be sent at strategic planned times to make it look like you are engaged in the business at different hours.

Don't be afraid to send weekend emails when it makes sense especially when there is high visibility.

Keep your mouth shut. When you're in meetings a lot of people will compete for trying to be in control, pound their chest so to speak. Keep your mouth shut and let people be happy thinking they are in control. Just make sure you handle your business and get your shit done.

When you open your mouth people will shut up and listen because you only speak when needed and don't like like to blab like everyone else.

Know your shit. Talk intelligently and don't be afraid to talk above peoples heads. Make sure they know and respect your knowledge and professionalism.

Also keep boxes of tea and oatmeal in your desk. Buy an electric kettle and make your tea, oatmeal, yogurt and fruit in the am when you get to work.

When people come to your desk always stop what your're doing turn and face them in a relaxed way, like leg crossed drinking tea and leaning back in your chair. Act like you give a fuck and answer there questions professionally and verbosely. Baffle the shit out of them and they will leave quickly.

Follow these rules and you can be a king. Come and go as you please and significantly reduce your stress levels while looking like a boss.
---

the only people you know is your boss and people you directly work with for more than one hour a day
everyone else is aface in the crows

If you want more advice I can continue.
---

hypno gave some good advice

-always have a scape goat.
-don't stay in a particular position too long, makes it harder to get a scape goat
-have a mirror on your monitor so people can't sneak up on you
-set up private meetings on your calendar for 2 purposes. 1 is to give you time to actually work, people will schedule meeting after meeting with you, so you need some time to actually work. other reason is to escape the office.
-early in your career write down all the stupid shit that goes on in the company. as you start to better understand what is going on, use those to write process improvement power points. submit one of those every few months, this will make you look proactive and like a go-getter
-find out what the requirements are for the job you want, whether it is a level promotion or different job. always be working towards that so you can make the argument "I am already doing this job" when you want to make a move for a raise/promotion
-those who get emotional lose. this means never really care about the work you are doing. if someone calls you worse than hitler, chuckle and say "I need you to quit Stalin this project." take nothing personal, its just business and egos.
-don't feel the need to eat treats when someone brings them in. if you do you it every time you will get fat. only eat treats when you actually want to eat it.
-keep an extra shirt and pair of pants in the office, suit/jacket if you are a bit higher up. You never know when you will have a presentation in the afternoon and spill something on yourself at lunch.
---

there's some good advice in here. the one that saved my ass was getting everything reasonable in writing asap.
someone stopped me and asked me to do something. I then emailed them and said something along the lines of "per our earlier conversation..." and ended it with "please let me know if any of the above has been misunderstood or misrepresented"

the paper trail helped when she tried to throw me under the bus
---

Good call @KILBOTz on the "private appointment" scheduling.

Also if you stay in for lunch try to get in the habit of watching YT or some other video entertainment. It will help reduce your stress level.

When the weather permits go for walks outside when you can. Fresh air, exercise, getting out of the office is priceless.
---

@prince_leo

Damn straight.

AVO.

Avoid Verbal Orders.

Everything needs to be documented via email otherwise the communication will breakdown or someone will forget. And every now and again there is that guy that will say you said something you didn't. Set the precedent you document and communicate via email and your co-workers will know the that guy or gal is full of shit.
---

KILBOTz posted...

hypno gave some good advice

-always have a scape goat.
-don't stay in a particular position too long, makes it harder to get a scape goat
-have a mirror on your monitor so people can't sneak up on you
-set up private meetings on your calendar for 2 purposes. 1 is to give you time to actually work, people will schedule meeting after meeting with you, so you need some time to actually work. other reason is to escape the office.
-early in your career write down all the stupid shit that goes on in the company. as you start to better understand what is going on, use those to write process improvement power points. submit one of those every few months, this will make you look proactive and like a go-getter
-find out what the requirements are for the job you want, whether it is a level promotion or different job. always be working towards that so you can make the argument "I am already doing this job" when you want to make a move for a raise/promotion
-those who get emotional lose. this means never really care about the work you are doing. if someone calls you worse than hitler, chuckle and say "I need you to quit Stalin this project." take nothing personal, its just business and egos.
-don't feel the need to eat treats when someone brings them in. if you do you it every time you will get fat. only eat treats when you actually want to eat it.
-keep an extra shirt and pair of pants in the office, suit/jacket if you are a bit higher up. You never know when you will have a presentation in the afternoon and spill something on yourself at lunch.

lol this is like 90% nonsense
---

get a good pair of sound-blocking headphones and find some ambient music to drown out the external noise but that's not too distracting
---

Figure out who really knows whats going on in the company or organization and cozy up to them. It will likely be an executive OA, office manager, chief of staff or sales, though it could sometimes be an ancient engineer or something different. It is always different. Knowledge is power.
---

It makes me sad when people give office tips based on selfishness, mistrust towards others and apathy.

In my company we work in small projects within our department, rotating every few months. We help eachother, and go out of our way to do so (within the limits of workload).

If someone knows something useful, he shares it with everyone. If there's a conflict, you talk it out or take it above if unsolvable, but there are no backstabs.

We love doing what we do, so we make extra effort to makes our projects be good.
---

HypnoCoosh posted...

@prince_leo

Damn straight.

AVO.

Avoid Verbal Orders.

Everything needs to be documented via email otherwise the communication will breakdown or someone will forget. And every now and again there is that guy that will say you said something you didn't. Set the precedent you document and communicate via email and your co-workers will know the that guy or gal is full of shit.

^This *1000.

If it is not in writing, IT NEVER HAPPENED.
---

ArchangelBaruch posted...

It makes me sad when people give office tips based on selfishness, mistrust towards others and apathy.

In my company we work in small projects within our department, rotating every few months. We help eachother, and go out of our way to do so (within the limits of workload).

If someone knows something useful, he shares it with everyone. If there's a conflict, you talk it out or take it above if unsolvable, but there are no backstabs.

We love doing what we do, so we make extra effort to makes our projects be good.

how large is your company? mine is over 100k employees. everything is political so my tips are due to that.
---

KILBOTz posted...

how large is your company? mine is over 100k employees. everything is political so my tips are due to that.

5k.

I would just quit a company like yours.
---

This topic depresses the hell out of me
---

ArchangelBaruch posted...

KILBOTz posted...

how large is your company? mine is over 100k employees. everything is political so my tips are due to that.

5k.

I would just quit a company like yours.

im looking to leave now. I used to work smaller projects and it was ok, now im in a purely overhead organization and it is shit.
---

Solid Snake07 posted...

This topic depresses the hell out of me

Welcome to the modern workplace.
---

ArchangelBaruch posted...

It makes me sad when people give office tips based on selfishness, mistrust towards others and apathy.

In my company we work in small projects within our department, rotating every few months. We help eachother, and go out of our way to do so (within the limits of workload).

If someone knows something useful, he shares it with everyone. If there's a conflict, you talk it out or take it above if unsolvable, but there are no backstabs.

We love doing what we do, so we make extra effort to makes our projects be good.

5k employees you say? I'm not saying I don't believe you, but I'm really finding it hard to. Maybe your department is harmonious, but sounds more like you're naive.
---

voldothegr8 posted...

5k employees you say? I'm not saying I don't believe you, but I'm really finding it hard to. Maybe your department is harmonious, but sounds more like you're naive.

4 years already and I've never witnessed any office drama whatsoever.

I think it's because of French office culture is different from American. Here the employee's feelings and opinions are more valued I guess.
---