Current Events > FF's depression topic.

(+) Yeah! (+)

I'll try to keep this up, I keep feeling like making new topics about this all the time. Better to keep it in one topic.

I'm not okay, my thoughts are unreasonable, they make me feel worse, I know they are unreasonable but deep inside I still believe some of them even if I know it's not true and I shouldn't.

Right now it feels like I'm never gonna get better, I feel hopeless and worthless. I just want to avoid shit. I don't want to go to work, even if I know that working makes me feel better, but it's such a huge struggle to go to work, takes so much energy to fight it. So I get this bad thoughts that it's better to just be home and feel bad rather than fight and feel bad.

I'm making bad choices, I know they are bad, which makes me feel worse, but they feel "easier" temporarily, less effort.

Got therapy in an hour. I have to call work within 2 hours to tell them if I come to work tomorrow and the weekend or not. I dunno what to do.

I'm not okay
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I miss the old depression generals
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If it makes you feel any better, I'm also depressed as fuck. What made you depressed?
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armandro posted...

I miss the old depression generals

I never knew what depression was really like. I knew from the outside the symptoms etc, but now that I'm in it. I had no idea, and I'm still not even in a deep depression.

Pepys Monster posted...

If it makes you feel any better, I'm also depressed as fuck. What made you depressed?

I dunno if depression works like that, that something made me that way. I can't pinpoint to why I'm like this, it's a culmination of thought processes and how I've handled things in my life and my emotions, I reached a point where things didn't work out anymore and I had a breakdown.

mobilebloechel posted...

Go to work

I want to, but it's so easy to not go.
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I think I am creeping back into a depressive phase rn

started smoking again to give me something to look forward and to and to kill me faster
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I was where you were at like two years ago. I don't think it ever fully goes away once you've had it severely for so long, but you do learn to cope and live with it. it's very important to be on the right medication and do things that make you (or used to make you) feel happy or excited. don't lose your job due to your absences either. that'll make things a looooot worse.
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FF_Redux posted...

I have to call work within 2 hours to tell them if I come to work tomorrow

just quit if you are this person consistently. you're a burden to your employer and your coworkers if you're taking sick days because of depression, and they'll be better off without you

depression is the worst. it feels like a disease or a curse sometimes. almost like you drank some diluted poison that wont leave your system for months.
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Newman!
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doesnt food make you feel better
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You telling me you can go to therapy but not work?
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Trayvon posted...

I think I am creeping back into a depressive phase rn

started smoking again to give me something to look forward and to and to kill me faster

That sucks :(, but I guess you know what it means since you've been in it. I dunno if that's a comfort or not.

Back_Stabbath posted...

I was where you were at like two years ago. I don't think it ever fully goes away once you've had it severely for so long, but you do learn to cope and live with it. it's very important to be on the right medication and do things that make you (or used to make you) feel happy or excited. don't lose your job due to your absences either. that'll make things a looooot worse.

They can't fire me for being sick. I can get longer sick leave if I need to, but that might be harder since you gotta battle with the insurance agency and stuff.

Steve Nick posted...

You telling me you can go to therapy but not work?

Yes?
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Is it bad dat I've never been depressed
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FF_Redux posted...

armandro posted...

I miss the old depression generals

I never knew what depression was really like. I knew from the outside the symptoms etc, but now that I'm in it. I had no idea, and I'm still not even in a deep depression.

Pepys Monster posted...

If it makes you feel any better, I'm also depressed as fuck. What made you depressed?

I dunno if depression works like that, that something made me that way. I can't pinpoint to why I'm like this, it's a culmination of thought processes and how I've handled things in my life and my emotions, I reached a point where things didn't work out anymore and I had a breakdown.

mobilebloechel posted...

Go to work

I want to, but it's so easy to not go.

Yep, it's so easy to just stay in bed till like 3pm (it's what I used to do), but trust me, being productive, getting up on time (7am) and just doing stuff helps.

It's not going to fix you, you need to get into therapy for it, but you'll feel better, and it'll prevent you from getting worse.

Get a routine, get active, be productive, get more help.

Also, feel free to pm me.
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Just keep on keepin on.
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ssj3vegeta_ posted...

Is it bad dat I've never been depressed

Be glad you haven't.
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@ssj3vegeta_ posted...

Is it bad dat I've never been depressed

No that's actually really good and I envy you
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2 am cant sleep
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Having negative thoughts again.

I was supposed to work this weekend but I'm still on sick leave.

So I have an opportunity to meet David this weekend. I want to meet up, but at the same time not feeling well enough or something. I kinda want to be home too to do other things, play games and watch TV.
My negative thought is: "ok my depression getting worse, now I'm removing even more things I like from my life"

I dunno if I can trust that thought or not, and now I feel like shit.
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