Current Events > "How are you" is bad small talk.

(+) Yeah! (+)

my goto answer is "no worse than usual". they usually take the hint, and no one has ever reacted as if it was rude, so winning?
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I'm horrible at small talk, so much so that I usually end up saying nothing at all. It's like I'm not being rude or ignoring people I just don't know what to say and feel weird saying anything. x.x
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Veggeta X posted...

cuttin_in_farm posted...

Veggeta X posted...

What is wrong with being polite?

What's polite about it?

The fact that you're willing to give the energy and acknowledgement to anyone and everyone?

So you think if someone ask you how you are doing and you ignore it then you're being a good person? You're prolly really bad at socializing aren't you?

Don't know who the fuck you're talking to with your second paragraph, so I'll just ignore it.

And saying "how are you" is not a genuine attempt to acknowledge people 98% of the time. As been said in this topic, if you don't say a synonym of "fine", the asker gets confused. The question is to glib.

It's to the point where it's a substitute for "Hi" at this point. It's not a question anymore.

It's not polite, it's lazy. It just makes people who aren't feeling well feel uncomfortable. Kinda like those people who hold doors open for people too far away, so now the other person feels obligated to speed up.

It's a robotic gesture that the user rarely actually puts genuine thought into.
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What is better small talk then?

"What's up" is a fairly common one, and much better.

"What's up?"
"Just comparing granola brands."

Which could actually be pretty useful, if the asker happens to have an opinion on granola brands.

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"What's up?"

"Good"

"How are you?"

"Not much"
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cuttin_in_farm posted...

It's a robotic gesture that the user rarely actually puts genuine thought into.

I hope everyone ignores you for now on
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It's just meant to be an opener. If it's responded with a canned response and followed up with a canned response, both people are clearly not interested in talking. But it's really not hard to get it to open up to other topics.

There's nothing wrong with the question, people misinterpret it. If I ask you 'how have you been lately?' and you've been having a good time, simply explain the highlights of your past month or week and maybe that will spark shared discussion. If you've been having a rough time explain what's been bothering you and maybe I can help you. It's not that complicated.
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Joelypoely posted...

There's nothing wrong with the question, people misinterpret it. If I ask you 'how have you been lately?' and you've been having a good time, simply explain the highlights of your past month or week and maybe that will spark shared discussion. If you've been having a rough time explain what's been bothering you and maybe I can help you. It's not that complicated.

Thus making it no longer small talk.
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bad: "How are you"
good: "How much are you"
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DevsBro posted...

Joelypoely posted...

There's nothing wrong with the question, people misinterpret it. If I ask you 'how have you been lately?' and you've been having a good time, simply explain the highlights of your past month or week and maybe that will spark shared discussion. If you've been having a rough time explain what's been bothering you and maybe I can help you. It's not that complicated.

Thus making it no longer small talk.

There's no need to differentiate between 'small' and regular talk. If there is a need to differentiate between the two then what is good small talk? Can there be good small talk?
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Joelypoely posted...

DevsBro posted...

Joelypoely posted...

There's nothing wrong with the question, people misinterpret it. If I ask you 'how have you been lately?' and you've been having a good time, simply explain the highlights of your past month or week and maybe that will spark shared discussion. If you've been having a rough time explain what's been bothering you and maybe I can help you. It's not that complicated.

Thus making it no longer small talk.

There's no need to differentiate between 'small' and regular talk. If there is a need to differentiate between the two then what is good small talk? Can there be good small talk?

Sure there's a difference.

Small talk is done out of politeness or general friendliness. For example, if you make eye contact with someone, it's awkward to not acknowledge them. Enter small talk.

Bad small talk, then, is when the discussion goes beyond the surface.
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