This whole thing didn't warrant becoming a public spectale.
#metoo is becoming a fucking joke because of shit like this, just like I said it would back in October when you all called me a monster.
The point of #metoo is for women to tell their stories. The public is allowed to react how they want. Notice some people who have been accused are still doing fine, while others lost their jobs. Weak accusations aren't going to hurt anyone, but they also don't delegitimize an otherwise noble movement. ---
what about her use of verbal cues with delaying language? she said things like not now in hopes that hed back off. that seems like a lighter, but pretty firm shut down, yet he persisted nonetheless. thats pretty headass
But he never forced her into doing anything. Every single thing she did, she chose to do. It was all consensual, even if she felt pressured into doing it she still made the decision to engage in consensual sex acts with Aziz. ---
what about her use of verbal cues with delaying language? she said things like not now in hopes that hed back off. that seems like a lighter, but pretty firm shut down, yet he persisted nonetheless. thats pretty headass
But he never forced her into doing anything. Every single thing she did, she chose to do. It was all consensual, even if she felt pressured into doing it she still made the decision to engage in consensual sex acts with Aziz.
That's another thing. Being pressured is not the same thing as rape. I was pressured into sex my first time with someone I wasn't entirely sure I wanted to have sex with, but ultimately I gave in. No way in hell was I raped, I still chose to have sex with her, hesitant or not. If I could go back and decide not to, would I? I don't know. But it was still my decision to have sex with her. ---
"She was like, 'Oh, did you see that firefighter? Hes so cute.' And I was like, Mom, I just got blown up."
a lot of azizs comedy revolves around the nuances of modern dating. doesnt the brand hes built for himself kind of suggest the idea that he would be more sensitive to less-explicit forms of communication?
Is it unfair to expect more from him than from waffle? (no offense!!!)
The thing is though, "less-explicit forms of communication" is incredibly vague. He's still a human being, and it's still very easy to misinterpret things like body language and non-verbal cues, because the fact of the matter is, those vary from person to person. The only clear way is to verbally communicate your unease and what you want or don't want.
And no, Aziz and myself should both be held to the same standard, just as everyone should be held to the same standard. We're both men who want sex, and we should both be respectful and wary of when the other person is uncomfortable and wants to stop, but we also cant be expected to read minds. I've often been told by girls I'm TOO wary, because they'll say they wanted me to kiss them at a certain point but I chose not to because while I figured they wanted me to, I was extremely concerned with misreading the sign and going for the move when they didn't actually want me to. I honestly think that's not a terrible mindset to have, you should never want to make the other person uncomfortable, but also, if you wait too long to make a move, the spark could fade away and they'll completely lose interest. When you're dealing with non-verbal cues, it's a gamble, which is why I don't like dealing with them, I'd much rather the other person tell me exactly what they want from the situation.That's the clearest, simplest, and safest way for both parties.
less-explicit may be vague wording, but I think it was a little more concrete in her actions.
what about her use of verbal cues with delaying language? she said things like not now in hopes that hed back off. that seems like a lighter, but pretty firm shut down, yet he persisted nonetheless. thats pretty headass
As I've already firmly established, yes, Aziz was too pushy. But vague language doesn't work either, because it still leaves the door open. There legitimately are girls who want the dude to "work for it" and say things like that teasingly to try and get them to try harder. I'm not just pulling that out of my ass and assuming, that's what several female friends of mine have explicitly told me. But obviously that's not always the case and not every girl is like that, but because it varies so much, it makes clear, decisive language even more crucial. You have to make your intentions and desires clear, bottom line.
I know Im beating a dead horse here bc you have said that he was being too pushy multiple times, but you gotta take someone seriously when they try to steer you away. I dont think theres ever a time to just up and operate under the assumption that someone wants you to work for it. that is down on your hands and knees begging for trouble. ---
what about her use of verbal cues with delaying language? she said things like not now in hopes that hed back off. that seems like a lighter, but pretty firm shut down, yet he persisted nonetheless. thats pretty headass
But he never forced her into doing anything. Every single thing she did, she chose to do. It was all consensual, even if she felt pressured into doing it she still made the decision to engage in consensual sex acts with Aziz.
yeah make no mistake, no one has been accused of rape ---
what about her use of verbal cues with delaying language? she said things like not now in hopes that hed back off. that seems like a lighter, but pretty firm shut down, yet he persisted nonetheless. thats pretty headass
But he never forced her into doing anything. Every single thing she did, she chose to do. It was all consensual, even if she felt pressured into doing it she still made the decision to engage in consensual sex acts with Aziz.
yeah make no mistake, no one has been accused of rape
I just don't get what Aziz is being accused of at all. If its merely "being pushy" then its not only not rape, but a complete non issue. When I was a car salesman I got pushy with customers to close deals, being pushy is just a part of normal human communication. But when I say that if she truly felt that strongly about it, that she shoulda just left, people accuse me of victim blaming. Sorry but there is no actual victim to blame here. Well really, Aziz is far more of a victim now that this story is being spread like wildfire, he was betrayed and his trust violated, not hers. ---
a lot of azizs comedy revolves around the nuances of modern dating. doesnt the brand hes built for himself kind of suggest the idea that he would be more sensitive to less-explicit forms of communication?
Is it unfair to expect more from him than from waffle? (no offense!!!)
The thing is though, "less-explicit forms of communication" is incredibly vague. He's still a human being, and it's still very easy to misinterpret things like body language and non-verbal cues, because the fact of the matter is, those vary from person to person. The only clear way is to verbally communicate your unease and what you want or don't want.
And no, Aziz and myself should both be held to the same standard, just as everyone should be held to the same standard. We're both men who want sex, and we should both be respectful and wary of when the other person is uncomfortable and wants to stop, but we also cant be expected to read minds. I've often been told by girls I'm TOO wary, because they'll say they wanted me to kiss them at a certain point but I chose not to because while I figured they wanted me to, I was extremely concerned with misreading the sign and going for the move when they didn't actually want me to. I honestly think that's not a terrible mindset to have, you should never want to make the other person uncomfortable, but also, if you wait too long to make a move, the spark could fade away and they'll completely lose interest. When you're dealing with non-verbal cues, it's a gamble, which is why I don't like dealing with them, I'd much rather the other person tell me exactly what they want from the situation.That's the clearest, simplest, and safest way for both parties.
less-explicit may be vague wording, but I think it was a little more concrete in her actions.
what about her use of verbal cues with delaying language? she said things like not now in hopes that hed back off. that seems like a lighter, but pretty firm shut down, yet he persisted nonetheless. thats pretty headass
As I've already firmly established, yes, Aziz was too pushy. But vague language doesn't work either, because it still leaves the door open. There legitimately are girls who want the dude to "work for it" and say things like that teasingly to try and get them to try harder. I'm not just pulling that out of my ass and assuming, that's what several female friends of mine have explicitly told me. But obviously that's not always the case and not every girl is like that, but because it varies so much, it makes clear, decisive language even more crucial. You have to make your intentions and desires clear, bottom line.
I know Im beating a dead horse here bc you have said that he was being too pushy multiple times, but you gotta take someone seriously when they try to steer you away. I dont think theres ever a time to just up and operate under the assumption that someone wants you to work for it. that is down on your hands and knees begging for trouble.
Again though, "steering away" is way too vague in the dating and sex world. You cant expect the other person to play connect the dots constantly, it doesn't EVER work. Someone WILL get hurt, end of story. It's totally fine to jump in and work for it, but you have to know the line, which Aziz crossed. I was mostly alright with most of what Aziz did up until he tried to get her going again after she'd said no. Before that, while maybe a bit pushy, MANY people DO like that, and want that. It's impossible to know if she was one of those people or not without her explicitly telling him. Which is why, as I've said before and I'll say again because it's incredibly important, communication is crucial. Both people need to be open, honest, and straight-up blunt as to what they want out of the situation. ---
"She was like, 'Oh, did you see that firefighter? Hes so cute.' And I was like, Mom, I just got blown up."
His response there was not regarding the parts of the story I brought up in my second post. His response was to a different part that I brought up in my first post.
I was referring to pretty much everything after the point of her saying no, but I think we're relatively on the same page now. ---
"She was like, 'Oh, did you see that firefighter? Hes so cute.' And I was like, Mom, I just got blown up."
