Poll of the Day > So... I started a GoFundMe after the wreck that killed my wife... :(

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MannerSaurus
12/26/17 1:00:31 PM
#1:


As most of you know, my wife was violently killed in a wreck on October 3rd of this year (2017.) I didn't want to make this... I don't like asking for money in most cases. My friends had to convince me it was a good idea. I went from 4 incomes to 1 (two of her jobs, and I lost my second job), and these bills are getting terrifying. I don't care about money in the light of losing my soul mate, it's one of the last things on my mind... you can't take it with you when you die, it's just material. Yet, while I'm still breathing, my debt is piling up at an alarming rate. If you want to donate that would mean the world to me, or if you can share it that would be nice. If not, I understand, but it means a lot to me if you at least think of her and myself, and pray for her, myself, and my family.

LINK: https://www.gofundme.com/4ut69b-trying-to-rebuild-my-life

(If this is against TOS, I apologize. I looked everywhere and couldn't find anything against sharing this.)

Those of you that don't know what happened, I was on vacation with my wife in Texas to visit her family (fiancee legally, we never made it to the ceremony... but we both agreed that a piece of paper from the US government does not determine if we are married, we were husband and wife under God), and someone in a truck lost control in the rain and hit us head on. I have absolutely no memory of the wreck, both from a serious head injury, and likely from grief and trauma. I was in a restaurant one minute, and in the hospital the next. (Apparently a day or two later.) After slowly coming to my sense enough to realize where I was, I asked the doctor "Why am I in a hospital??? Where am I???" The doctor told me I need to stay as still as I could and that I was in an extremely serious car accident. I had apparently been cut out with the jaws of life while unconscious, and air lifted by helicopter. I demanded to know where my wife was, and the doctor told me we would talk about that in a minute. He later came back with my mother-in-law who was sobbing, and she told me that I was in a car wreck. I asked "Well where is Sabine??? WHERE IS MY WIFE??????" and she just shook her head and cried and said "I'm so sorry, Corey.... I'm so sorry...." and I grabbed her shirt and screamed at the top of my lungs and cried for what felt like hours. The rest of October is a blur, except for a few images. I remember seeing my wife's body laying there in a morgue or something. I said my goodbyes and had an absolute panic attack and started throwing up outside. I slightly remember seeing the wrecked vehicle to get some of my belongings out. I had a similar reaction to seeing my wife's body, because I knew that mangled car of ours was where Sabine had been killed. Our 5-year-old niece was in the back seat, too, and Thank God had only minor injuries... but she was conscious for the whole thing. So she saw my wife take her last breath while unconscious, and she saw me laying there unconscious being pried out of the wreckage and taken to a helicopter. My older brother said to me that he first got a phone call that "Sabine was dead, and you might be." He dropped his beer and ran to his wife and cried for hours, until he got a second phone call saying that "I was alive but unconscious and critical in the ICU." He told me "I don't mean this in a ****ty way, but that second phone call didn't make me any happier. I knew that either way, you had died in that wreck."

http://m.lampasasdispatchrecord.com/news/2017-10-06/Front_Page/Woman_killed_in_US_190_wreck.html#.WkKNJTe1ubL

Not only should I be dead physically (the engine was to the back seat... where we sat was nothing but metal, glass, and blood...), but emotionally I am a shattered human being. I wish I had gone with her, I am angry that I survived.
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IT'S TOO LATE... TO GO BACK... I let darkness.. seep through the cracks...
Love is bleeding, I curse my breathing... the day is gone.. the day is gone...
... Copied to Clipboard!
MannerSaurus
12/26/17 1:00:38 PM
#2:


Every day is a nightmare, and it's getting worse. I can hear her sad cry everywhere I go. I have had very vivid dreams about her. In one dream, she had me fully convinced she was alive. As I slowly became lucid, I said "This isn't real... is it...?" She looked down sad, and shook her head.

She kissed my forehead and said, "I'm just visiting you until you come join me in Heaven." And she smiled at me. I tried to hug her so tight in an effort to "save her", and I fell right through her as she faded like Obi-Wan/Yoda from Star Wars 4/6. In her clothes fell the necklace I have that contains her ashes. I woke up screaming and crying, like I do most nights.

My double vision finally went away around Halloween, and my memory starts forming around then, as well. I don't remember coming back to my home state... I barely remember making the topic here on POTD. My left foot is numb, my left knee hurts (I walk with a slight limp), and I cannot lift anything heavier than an empty water bottle with my left hand. They believe it was because the right side of my brain was injured in the wreck, and it has 0% improvement. I have to find a specialist, like a neurologist, that works on a sliding scale... because obviously money is really bad right now for me. But 0 improvement on using one of my hands is a little scary. I have been attending intense greif counciling. I don't really see the point, (I don't really see the point in anything), but she's nice and I don't mind talking about it. So what's there to lose by talking? I think she's a nice lady and very professional. I may attend group therapy, especially if I can find one for people widowed, but that's a little down the road.

I want to thank all of you for how much love you have shown. I didn't mean to scare anyone with my last topic, and my heart melted to hear that so many of you genuinely cared about me and this horror. I was super suprised when Foxx reached out to me. I've been spending a lot of time staying with friends, or hanging out with friends. I don't like to be alone very often with the extremely loud silence of her (physical) absence. I have shared a laugh and a smile with a few of my good friends since the wreck, but it is akin to two people in The Walking Dead sharing a laugh in a survivors' camp. Yes, it is a beautiful moment between two humans, and I cherish every second with my loved ones... but the world is still dying around me. I don't wish the horror and demons my soul is facing on even my worst enemies.

Thank you for taking the time to read this (and if you shared my GFM, or donated... you are seroiusly just the best.)

Do me a favor, and please... don't take life for granted. Don't wait for tomorrow to tell someone you love them, or to forgive someone in your life... or to apologize to someone you love. Tomorrow may never come. I love you all.
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IT'S TOO LATE... TO GO BACK... I let darkness.. seep through the cracks...
Love is bleeding, I curse my breathing... the day is gone.. the day is gone...
... Copied to Clipboard!
Jen0125
12/26/17 1:04:04 PM
#3:


sorry for your loss again but i'm pretty sure this is against the TOS. i got modded for even making a joke about asking for donations.
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http://i.imgur.com/4ihiyS2.jpg
"I am not gay! Can't you get that through your head? I am very much aroused at the site of a naked woman!" - Dan0429
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MannerSaurus
12/26/17 1:09:08 PM
#4:


Jen0125 posted...
sorry for your loss again but i'm pretty sure this is against the TOS. i got modded for even making a joke about asking for donations.


Oh................

OK.... well, thank you Miss Jen.
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IT'S TOO LATE... TO GO BACK... I let darkness.. seep through the cracks...
Love is bleeding, I curse my breathing... the day is gone.. the day is gone...
... Copied to Clipboard!
GameReviews
12/26/17 1:22:24 PM
#5:


It might be against the TOS, but I sure as fuck ain't marking it, and any mod who deletes this topic is an asshole. There, I said it. Mod me.
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Sign here.
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helIy
12/26/17 1:23:12 PM
#6:


Jen0125 posted...
sorry for your loss again but i'm pretty sure this is against the TOS. i got modded for even making a joke about asking for donations.

yep

you have to have someone else do it or something. ask whoever made the gofundme for kana
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"Dogs smell like they've had too much fun and need a bath
Cats smell like espionage
" - Mead
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Jen0125
12/26/17 1:28:46 PM
#7:


MannerSaurus posted...
Oh................

OK.... well, thank you Miss Jen.


well if no one marks it it'll take a while to get deleted. i didn't mark it.
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http://i.imgur.com/4ihiyS2.jpg
"I am not gay! Can't you get that through your head? I am very much aroused at the site of a naked woman!" - Dan0429
... Copied to Clipboard!
RoboXgp89
12/26/17 1:46:22 PM
#8:


that is heartbreaking
americans drive like idiots
my mom used to do 55 and then do 65 on the freeway
nowadays you get flipped off for doing 55
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Veedrock-
12/26/17 1:53:11 PM
#9:


MannerSaurus posted...
As most of you know

All y'all getting sappy and I'm over here hung up on this part like "really?"
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My friends call me Vee.
I'm not your friend, buddy.
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Jen0125
12/26/17 1:56:37 PM
#10:


Veedrock- posted...
MannerSaurus posted...
As most of you know

All y'all getting sappy and I'm over here hung up on this part like "really?"


i mean he made a couple topics about it already that garnered a lot of posts.
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http://i.imgur.com/4ihiyS2.jpg
"I am not gay! Can't you get that through your head? I am very much aroused at the site of a naked woman!" - Dan0429
... Copied to Clipboard!
BlackScythe0
12/26/17 1:58:44 PM
#11:


Internet has made me too skeptical.
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MannerSaurus
12/26/17 2:00:19 PM
#12:


Veedrock- posted...
MannerSaurus posted...
As most of you know

All y'all getting sappy and I'm over here hung up on this part like "really?"


Oh... I'm sorry. I'm not entirely... connected to the world around me. I should have written "As some of you know[...]". That would have made more sense...
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How many years to walk this path alone?
So much to see tonight, so why'd you close your eyes... why can't I shut mine?
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