Current Events > Why do parents want to kick their kids out as soon as they're 18?

(+) Yeah! (+)

And vice versa, why do kids want out so bad when they turn 18? This is a western culture thing. I will never understand it.

If i was a parent I'd like to think I love my kids and get them prepped for the real world as much as possible. If I was a kid I'd want to be prepped as much as I can before I go out on my own.
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I don't understand it, either. I'd rather the whole family lived together in one household, like we used to in the past. Family is precious, but not everybody seems to see it that way these days.

I think it comes down to the fact that western society's way of thinking tends to be more individual (selfish?), whereas a lot of other places tend to focus more on brotherhood.
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i think they usually move away for college
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My parents (my mom specifically) tried controlling every facet of my life on the basis that I was living under her roof. You can argue that's fair, but you also have to nip that in the bud
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Kids are expensive.
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Veggeta X posted...

This is a western culture thing. I will never understand it

more specifically it's like an anglo thing (and anglo derivatives like the US)
It doesn't even happen in most of europe
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DezCaughtIt posted...

My parents (my mom specifically) tried controlling every facet of my life on the basis that I was living under her roof. You can argue that's fair, but you also have to nip that in the bud

I had a friend who faked his religion to his parents so they'll pay for his college.

I mean you've tolerated your parents since you've been born. All of a sudden now you're an adult you can't seem to take their bullshit anymore? I always tell people to use their parents as much as possible in a loving sort a way lmao.
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Yeah I think its only a western thing. A lot of other cultures, or almost all of them, are much more family oriented and more tightly knit together.
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They want to fuck all over the house. As soon as you leave your dad rails your mom on your bed.
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tote_all posted...

DezCaughtIt posted...

You can argue that's fair

It's not.

I don't think it is either but you can argue it.

Veggeta X posted...

DezCaughtIt posted...

My parents (my mom specifically) tried controlling every facet of my life on the basis that I was living under her roof. You can argue that's fair, but you also have to nip that in the bud

I had a friend who faked his religion to his parents so they'll pay for his college.

I mean you've tolerated your parents since you've been born. All of a sudden now you're an adult you can't seem to take their bullshit anymore? I always tell people to use their parents as much as possible in a loving sort a way lmao.

I had to move for school anyway, and they still help me from time to time, so it's not like I burned bridges or anything. I had been wanting to move out since I was 16 and didn't do so until 20 because I was going to a local community college at the time and it didn't make sense to move out.
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Veggeta X posted...

DezCaughtIt posted...

My parents (my mom specifically) tried controlling every facet of my life on the basis that I was living under her roof. You can argue that's fair, but you also have to nip that in the bud

I had a friend who faked his religion to his parents so they'll pay for his college.

I mean you've tolerated your parents since you've been born. All of a sudden now you're an adult you can't seem to take their bullshit anymore? I always tell people to use their parents as much as possible in a loving sort a way lmao.

Sometimes it can be the other way around. In spite of a solid upbringing, sometimes kids can be self righteous, egotistical jerks with no redeeming qualities. In those cases, parents are happy to pack your bags for you. Maybe they are happy that they no longer need to tolerate you.

dude I swear I saw this exact topic on LUElinks like a few minutes ago

My family is from a foreign country and we don't share the philisophy of kicking kids out at 18.
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Or maybe this isn't really a western thing. Maybe it's just a Hollywood thing where they push this agenda only in TV shows and movies?
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it's nice to be able to fuck anywhere and anytime you want

Take into account a lot of people regret having kids and after eighteen years they want their lives back.
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I think its mainly a North American thing. Everyone has something to prove here...
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Cause they're tired of you living with them
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because 90% of american kids were a mistake and their parents want to remove them from their lives as soon as legally possible.

So that they can get their financial freedom back.
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they shouldn't unless the kid got accepted to a prestigious university. You save a lot of money and time if you live with your parents while attending a local university, trade, or whatever
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In America you cant be a real adult in the eyes of a lot of people unless you move out. Which is absurd and is one of the reasons why so many Americans have literally no savings - theyre always paying in to their independent living situation. I think part of it also is lifestyles - in America it seems like other people that live with you are able to judge you or interrogate you just because you live there. When you live alone, these questions obviously stop.
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masticatingman posted...

In America you cant be a real adult in the eyes of a lot of people unless you move out. Which is absurd and is one of the reasons why so many Americans have literally no savings - theyre always paying in to their independent living situation. I think part of it also is lifestyles - in America it seems like other people that live with you are able to judge you or interrogate you just because you live there. When you live alone, these questions obviously stop.

I mean most of these 18 year olds move out of their parents house to go live with other people so you're still not living alone.
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I don't get it either. Let them leave when they are ready and actually able to. That is, unless they are being parasitic and aren't contributing to paying the bills or something.
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DezCaughtIt posted...

My parents (my mom specifically) tried controlling every facet of my life on the basis that I was living under her roof. You can argue that's fair, but you also have to nip that in the bud

This is a good reason. "My house, my rules" also means that once you get out, you can tell them their rules stayed at their house.
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Yeah I never understood why white people hate their kids so much.
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Asherlee10 posted...

DezCaughtIt posted...

My parents (my mom specifically) tried controlling every facet of my life on the basis that I was living under her roof. You can argue that's fair, but you also have to nip that in the bud

I never found this parenting style to be fair or correct.

If you want a well-functioning adult child, you have to give them the right support. And that doesn't involve micro-managing their life just because they are still living under your roof.

It seems that very often parents with adult children don't allow their children to be adults. Granted some people never grow up.

If kids want to just be roommates with their own independent lives, they need to pay rent, a share of the utilities, and buy their own food. If they arent doing that, in essence they are still children: man children.

Because children open their mouths to scream the second they're born and don't close it until they're out on their own.
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Returning_CEmen posted...

Yeah I never understood why white people hate their kids so much.

White kids in general are typically awful to their parents by comparison.

Western culture: You brought your kids into the world. Your job is to take care of then.

Eastern culture: You gave them the gift of life.
They owe you.
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Asherlee10 posted...

Squall28 posted...

Eastern culture: You gave them the gift of life.
They owe you.

I see that a lot in the U.S., though.

"I didn't give birth to you so you could do whatever you want"

And I've also seen a lot of news stories about parents stealing their children's identity because they are "owed" that simply because they are their parents.

Those are the worst parents. The only thing a kid owes their parents, assuming they were good parents that actually cared for and nurtured them, is their love and respect. Acting entitled to anything more is ridiculous.
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It can depend on the kid, but it's easy to holdover ideas of tossing the cubs from the nest to see if they survive because without it they never will really grow up. I've got cousins like that. One's almost 30 with no education or job, but mommy takes care of him so he never feels the need to change anything. Another is pushing 40 and still seems unable to do basic cooking, cleaning, budgeting, or even self care without outside help.
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lightwarrior78 posted...

It can depend on the kid, but it's easy to holdover ideas of tossing the cubs from the nest to see if they survive because without it they never will really grow up.

I kinda disagree with this. I lived with my parents til I was 25. I paid them rent every single month without fail ever since I was 18. I also paid for my own car and own insurance, phone bill, college expenses etc. I paid all my own expenses except for food basically. I also had been responsible for cleaning, doing laundry, etc since I was a literal child.

By the time I moved out, the only thing that was really different is what entity I paid rent to and buying my own food & housing items.

If you treat your child like an adult WHILE they are in the house, they can learn to be an adult there.
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Only white trash does that.
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Twin3Turbo posted...

lightwarrior78 posted...

It can depend on the kid, but it's easy to holdover ideas of tossing the cubs from the nest to see if they survive because without it they never will really grow up.

I kinda disagree with this. I lived with my parents til I was 25. I paid them rent every single month without fail ever since I was 18. I also paid for my own car and own insurance, phone bill, college expenses etc. I paid all my own expenses except for food basically. I also had been responsible for cleaning, doing laundry, etc since I was a literal child.

By the time I moved out, the only thing that was really different is what entity I paid rent to and buying my own food & housing items.

If you treat your child like an adult WHILE they are in the house, they can learn to be an adult there.

So did I, but kids are different all the time, as are parents. Some kids need to be forced to grow up, and some parents need to let go or they won't let them.
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lightwarrior78 posted...

Twin3Turbo posted...

lightwarrior78 posted...

It can depend on the kid, but it's easy to holdover ideas of tossing the cubs from the nest to see if they survive because without it they never will really grow up.

I kinda disagree with this. I lived with my parents til I was 25. I paid them rent every single month without fail ever since I was 18. I also paid for my own car and own insurance, phone bill, college expenses etc. I paid all my own expenses except for food basically. I also had been responsible for cleaning, doing laundry, etc since I was a literal child.

By the time I moved out, the only thing that was really different is what entity I paid rent to and buying my own food & housing items.

If you treat your child like an adult WHILE they are in the house, they can learn to be an adult there.

So did I, but kids are different all the time, as are parents. Some kids need to be forced to grow up, and some parents need to let go or they won't let them.

I agree with that but I think a lot of that has to do with how the kid has been conditioned throughout their life.

For example, if mom has been doing your laundry for you all your life, it's a bit jarring when all of a sudden your parents say "hey, you're 18, do it yourself now". I feel like kids need to be conditioned at an earlier age to start being independent. All of a sudden throwing a bunch of responsibilities on someone once they become 18 is probably the worst way to do it.
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I've seen both sides of the spectrum. My dad was kicked out of the house when he graduated high school at 17 years old. On the other side of the family, I have a 60 year old uncle who's never purchased a vehicle or home on his own, my grandmother still supports him.
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Asherlee10 posted...

Squall28 posted...

Eastern culture: You gave them the gift of life.
They owe you.

I see that a lot in the U.S., though.

"I didn't give birth to you so you could do whatever you want"

And I've also seen a lot of news stories about parents stealing their children's identity because they are "owed" that simply because they are their parents.

Yeah but they are seen as bad parents. In Eastern culture, that's the expectation. That's why you see so many tiger parents with kids doing so much to please their parents.
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Veggeta X posted...

masticatingman posted...

In America you cant be a real adult in the eyes of a lot of people unless you move out. Which is absurd and is one of the reasons why so many Americans have literally no savings - theyre always paying in to their independent living situation. I think part of it also is lifestyles - in America it seems like other people that live with you are able to judge you or interrogate you just because you live there. When you live alone, these questions obviously stop.

I mean most of these 18 year olds move out of their parents house to go live with other people so you're still not living alone.

Having a roommate is pretty different in the eyes of a lot of people from living with parents/family. Its definitely independent from family, which is what I was getting at.
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Omnislasher posted...

it's nice to be able to fuck anywhere and anytime you want

But theyre old and wrinkly by then
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Twin3Turbo posted...

lightwarrior78 posted...

Twin3Turbo posted...

lightwarrior78 posted...

It can depend on the kid, but it's easy to holdover ideas of tossing the cubs from the nest to see if they survive because without it they never will really grow up.

I kinda disagree with this. I lived with my parents til I was 25. I paid them rent every single month without fail ever since I was 18. I also paid for my own car and own insurance, phone bill, college expenses etc. I paid all my own expenses except for food basically. I also had been responsible for cleaning, doing laundry, etc since I was a literal child.

By the time I moved out, the only thing that was really different is what entity I paid rent to and buying my own food & housing items.

If you treat your child like an adult WHILE they are in the house, they can learn to be an adult there.

So did I, but kids are different all the time, as are parents. Some kids need to be forced to grow up, and some parents need to let go or they won't let them.

I agree with that but I think a lot of that has to do with how the kid has been conditioned throughout their life.

For example, if mom has been doing your laundry for you all your life, it's a bit jarring when all of a sudden your parents say "hey, you're 18, do it yourself now". I feel like kids need to be conditioned at an earlier age to start being independent. All of a sudden throwing a bunch of responsibilities on someone once they become 18 is probably the worst way to do it.

Funny, that happened to me at age 12. But then that's what's changed. Once upon a time you were expected to take on responsibilities in and out of the house when you were old enough so you were ready for that adulthood at age 18, kicked out of the house or not. Today, too many parents want to keep the innocence of youth going so long they don't impart the responsibility of adulthood during the teen years those skills used to be developed.
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lightwarrior78 posted...

Twin3Turbo posted...

lightwarrior78 posted...

Twin3Turbo posted...

lightwarrior78 posted...

It can depend on the kid, but it's easy to holdover ideas of tossing the cubs from the nest to see if they survive because without it they never will really grow up.

I kinda disagree with this. I lived with my parents til I was 25. I paid them rent every single month without fail ever since I was 18. I also paid for my own car and own insurance, phone bill, college expenses etc. I paid all my own expenses except for food basically. I also had been responsible for cleaning, doing laundry, etc since I was a literal child.

By the time I moved out, the only thing that was really different is what entity I paid rent to and buying my own food & housing items.

If you treat your child like an adult WHILE they are in the house, they can learn to be an adult there.

So did I, but kids are different all the time, as are parents. Some kids need to be forced to grow up, and some parents need to let go or they won't let them.

I agree with that but I think a lot of that has to do with how the kid has been conditioned throughout their life.

For example, if mom has been doing your laundry for you all your life, it's a bit jarring when all of a sudden your parents say "hey, you're 18, do it yourself now". I feel like kids need to be conditioned at an earlier age to start being independent. All of a sudden throwing a bunch of responsibilities on someone once they become 18 is probably the worst way to do it.

Funny, that happened to me at age 12. But then that's what's changed. Once upon a time you were expected to take on responsibilities in and out of the house when you were old enough so you were ready for that adulthood at age 18, kicked out of the house or not. Today, too many parents want to keep the innocence of youth going so long they don't impart the responsibility of adulthood during the teen years those skills used to be developed.

I remember I had zero issues when I started living in my own, and was confused why people complain about it. Then I learned parents did all the bullshit for their kids back home.
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daftpunk_mk5 posted...

Omnislasher posted...

it's nice to be able to fuck anywhere and anytime you want

But theyre old and wrinkly by then

In their 50s?
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