Current Events > ce im trying really hard not to hurt myself

(+) Yeah! (+)

its not worth it anymore. im stupid and worthless. everything ive worked for is tumbling down because of me. because i cant leave my bed because im a fucking pathetic piece of shit. im stuck here and no one cares about me. no one. everytime someone even just slightly entertains the idea of being a friend, i become extremely overattached because theyre all i have. and all ive had in my entire life. and it scares them and then im cast aside as the clingy freak, most times used first. now i just put up walls and ignore everyone who tries connect with me because its like experiencing heartbreak over and over and over again.

i need help. but no one cares about me enough to do it. im alone and worthless and im ruining my life but i cant stop. i cant get out of bed without panicking and crying. im stupid and worthless and theres no point to any of this because i have no future anyways. i ruined it.
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Jeez
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What exactly is tumbling down?
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tc is there a chance that you have borderline personality disorder

Get off CE and seek some help...
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Looked gf posted...

Get off CE and seek some help...

This. None of us here are able to help you.
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Please call a help hotline.
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No one post in this bait topic
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FightingGames posted...

No one post in this bait topic

what the hell dude
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You've probably felt like this before and then went back to your normal right? When you get back to your normal again start working on bettering yourself so you never end up hitting this low again. This feeling isn't forever like you may think while in it
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Villain posted...

FightingGames posted...

No one post in this bait topic

what the hell dude

Dont you know who this is
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Call a help hotline. CE knows nothing.
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nb4 500 or a mod lock
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anyway i'm not great with this kind of stuff. lately i've been getting closer and closer to the line. what keeps me going is telling myself "just get through today"

So just get through today

Harpie Im sorry that none of us really know what to say to help.

Lots of times I feel pretty worthless. Or like my friends just get bored of me eventually and Ive got no reason to really try for them and etc.

And Im absolutely hated here.
It makes me feel like the only reason people ever bother spending time with me is my body. When they cant see me, suddenly Im unbearable. When I dont have sex or have sexy stories, even girls get bored of me.

But I just find things I like to do or that can distract me.

Yoga is relaxing. Try that maybe.

Completely change up your diet.
Itll distract you because you need to think of new recipes and may alter your mood if you keep eating new food that you actually find yummy.

And try to get into a good sleep schedule. 10 pm- 8 am not just 10 hours of sleep but also the times of sleeping matter just based on your brain being relaxed too.
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HeyPuff posted...

Villain posted...

FightingGames posted...

No one post in this bait topic

what the hell dude

Dont you know who this is

I don't post on CE a lot so no
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I'm saying this in a nice way, get off CE and get some help. CE can't help you
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10 hours of sleep? I thought 8 was the healthy mark.
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Lost_All_Senses posted...

10 hours of sleep? I thought 8 was the healthy mark.

Fuck that shit
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Reported for threatening suicide. Hopefully now I'll see less of your attention seeking topics.
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-Gavirulax- posted...

FrenchCrunch posted...

anyway i'm not great with this kind of stuff. lately i've been getting closer and closer to the line. what keeps me going is telling myself "just get through today"

So just get through today

Oh I think you are more than likely right with the BPD thing.
In any event, CE is just not helpful for this, I'd redirect you to the Australian Crisis Center line which you can speak to someone online about this who is actually trained....but you're not in Australia and I don't know the US counterpart.

We just had a rapper promote ours with a song at an award show. Can't remember it tho...
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LittleRoyal posted...

Lost_All_Senses posted...

10 hours of sleep? I thought 8 was the healthy mark.

Fuck that shit

I usually sleep 10 but I thought I was just being lazy and addicted to slipping into the dreamworld.
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glitteringfairy posted...

Reported for threatening suicide. Hopefully now I'll see less of your attention seeking topics.

alright dude, i've really had it with your shit. you've become such a petty, antagonistic little asshole. you sit on your throne of aluminum Natty Ice cans getting high and working your Walmart LP job while mooching off your sister, yet you have the audacity to look down on anyone

can you pull your backwoods hillbilly head out of your own ass for once, seriously

FrenchCrunch posted...

glitteringfairy posted...

Reported for threatening suicide. Hopefully now I'll see less of your attention seeking topics.

alright dude, i've really had it with your shit. you've become such a petty, antagonistic little asshole. you sit on your throne of aluminum Natty Ice cans getting high and working your Walmart LP job while mooching off your sister, yet you have the audacity to look down on anyone

can you pull your backwoods hillbilly head out of your own ass for once, seriously

It's not Walmart actually and I own a home. Your like two years behind my man.

And what do you care? Is anything about my post incorrect? Does she literally not post endless drivel with the goal of getting attention?
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Hopefully you've found help TC.
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glitteringfairy posted...

It's not Walmart actually and I own a home. Your like two years behind my man.

And what do you care? Is anything about my post incorrect? Does she literally not post endless drivel with the goal of getting attention?

i have no idea who TC is and I have no idea if you're right. being right is what's important to you when there is a potential life on the line? like dude what the fuck, everyone always used to consider you chill. you've turned into such a dick

FrenchCrunch posted...

glitteringfairy posted...

It's not Walmart actually and I own a home. Your like two years behind my man.

And what do you care? Is anything about my post incorrect? Does she literally not post endless drivel with the goal of getting attention?

i have no idea who TC is and I have no idea if you're right. being right is what's important to you when there is a potential life on the line? like dude what the fuck, everyone always used to consider you chill. you've turned into such a dick

You honestly think CE is the place for someone who is thinking about suicide? If anything I'm doing her a favor. People on CE have actually killed themselves. It's not a thing that's never happened
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glitteringfairy posted...

If anything I'm doing her a favor

you're unbelievable

FrenchCrunch posted...

glitteringfairy posted...

If anything I'm doing her a favor

you're unbelievable

I'm sorry you have a different opinion but the general opinion is CE is no place to be if your suicidal. You honestly think this place is good for her mental health? I don't want her to die, I want her to get help. However, I do think she's full of shit with just about every topic she makes and that's just a personal opinion of mine
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I will apologize for the way I worded that first post though
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Noooooooo
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You're a good person TC. I hope you get through this. Sounds like you have hit rock bottom, so there should be nowhere to go but up, right?
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We both know you can never really physically hurt yourself. Because your cells fear pain. They hold you back from hurting yourself. They control you
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I know how you feel
I know what its like to struggle daily and to hurt daily
I think for you the best step would be moving out from your shitty dad and brother, they're probably a huge root in your unhappiness
It may not be the best place but even a homeless shelter might be better than living with abusers
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Im sorry to hear youre feeling like this Harpie. No one here is equipped to help you. Do you have access to any counselors?

You are not worthless. But many people feel that way about themselves. Id say we probably all have at one point or another. But you have a really bad situation at home that just doesnt help.

Hang in there. Im confident once you break free from the toxic home environment, you will feel much better. But Id definitely advise that you seek a professional.

*hugs*

BlackHorse6969 posted...

We both know you can never really physically hurt yourself. Because your cells fear pain. They hold you back from hurting yourself. They control you

so wrong
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Littleroyal I like you. And harpie you need to talk to someone, please? I don't think we can help you here. Don't you have a lot of friends who know you better over on potD?

-Gavirulax- posted...

glitteringfairy posted...

I'm sorry you have a different opinion but the general opinion is CE is no place to be if your suicidal.

Indeed it's not. However it's not as if suicidal people are able to suspend how they feel (it'd be easy if they could) and ultimately, they'll post about it whether we like it or not since the issue is usually based on how intense they are feeling and the need to vent somewhere - anywhere. I sincerely hope she receives professional help from a competent mental health professional.

I agree. CE ain't the place for it though. You gotta be mentally sound to survive this cesspool or it'll drag you down even further
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Ive struggled with this for a long time, too....
And trust me when I say, it's not worth it. I've been frustrated with it for most of my life, and I've sought help numerous times. Keep that chin up, missy. Stay focused, ok? You've got this.
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Harpie posted...

its not worth it anymore. im stupid and worthless. everything ive worked for is tumbling down because of me. because i cant leave my bed because im a fucking pathetic piece of shit. im stuck here and no one cares about me. no one. everytime someone even just slightly entertains the idea of being a friend, i become extremely overattached because theyre all i have. and all ive had in my entire life. and it scares them and then im cast aside as the clingy freak, most times used first. now i just put up walls and ignore everyone who tries connect with me because its like experiencing heartbreak over and over and over again.

i need help. but no one cares about me enough to do it. im alone and worthless and im ruining my life but i cant stop. i cant get out of bed without panicking and crying. im stupid and worthless and theres no point to any of this because i have no future anyways. i ruined it.

Harpie, a lot of these feelings you're having are perfectly normal and are something many people go through at some point in their life. The only thing I can say, having felt a similar way to this at points in HS and college, is that you'd be amazed how fast life can turn around and reverse all of it. Nothing you're experiencing now is permanent, even though it's perfectly natural to have a "no end in sight"-type of feeling.

The difference between letting your lousy current experiences destroy you or not is whether you feel the situation is permanently hopeless or just a bad patch that will eventually correct itself. And most definitely, the answer is the latter. No one can tell you exactly when or how, but things will get better. You need to really believe that.
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Whenever I'm this way, I remind myself that life always changes. We aren't bound to one fate for the rest of our lives. Unless you're me and so deep in debt that you have no choice but to spend the rest of your life doing a job you hate 80 hours per week.
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Yes listen to The Admiral.