Current Events > Whoops. I want to buy a house with bae, but she'll only co-sign if we're married

(+) Yeah! (+)

But she doesn't want to get married for monetary reasons. So basically if I propose now, she'll feel like the engagement is tainted.

I was already thinking of ways to propose before the home buying situation. Now I feel pressured into waiting it out.
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dump her, millions of red flags in such a short post.

This isn't a red flag per se.

It's more like a very dark pink flag.

<_<

Skye Reynolds posted...

This isn't a red flag per se.

It's more like a very dark pink flag.

<_<

Just wait to buy for now. Save up a bigger down payment, 40%. A lot of long-term benefits of doing that.
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Yeah I guess I can save up. Maybe get a feel for what it's like living with her.

But is renting really saving tho? Monthly mortgage would equate to monthly rent. But with a home, at least your money is going towards the home which earns equity and is great for credit reports. And there is always the option to sell.

If I rent, then we don't get any return back.
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What is the flag, btw?
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Wait, you don't live together, but are trying to buy a house together?
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Lol
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Co-signer.
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Can you buy the home without a consigner? Would you buy the home in question without your girlfriend around? What monetary reasons are preventing her from wanting to marry you?

Do you need her to co-sign to qualify for a loan? If you can be the sole homeowner, that would be much better cuz you can kick her out if it doesn't work out and she won't be entitled to anything.

And co-signing a home with someone you're not married to is asking for trouble.
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JustMyOpinion posted...

3khc posted...

Co-signer.

So...she's going to live in the house but not put any money towards it? Because if she's putting an equal amount she should be a co-borrower.

Yes and no. She will live in the house, but wants to pay rent. Tell me more about this co-borrower business because the loan agent only mentioned cosigner

KlownArt posted...

Wait, you don't live together, but are trying to buy a house together?

Yeah. Been together for a long time. She wants to move in together, but I've always been against renting vs owning. So I looked into loans, but I don't have the income. Loan officer says a cosgner would put us where we need to be for the home we want.

But bae is unsure. Says would be more comfortable if we were married because reasons.
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The sad thing is that you're going to fall for it, like 99% of all men.

C7D posted...

Can you buy the home without a consigner? Would you buy the home in question without your girlfriend around? What monetary reasons are preventing her from wanting to marry you?

I cannot buy the home we want without a cosigner to up the income. I would buy the home without her help if I could. There are no monetary reasons preventing her from marrying me, afaik.
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dude what
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daftpunk_mk5 posted...

Do you need her to co-sign to qualify for a loan? If you can be the sole homeowner, that would be much better cuz you can kick her out if it doesn't work out and she won't be entitled to anything.

And co-signing a home with someone you're not married to is asking for trouble.

I can qualify for my own loan, but it's not enough for what we want. I need her to co-sign in order to get a bigger loan.

I most likely will be the sole homeowner, but she will be paying half. That's true about her not being entitled to anything, but worst case scenario (extremely unlikely) she will not pay and I'm stuck with the mortgage myself.
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RedZaraki posted...

Skye Reynolds posted...

This isn't a red flag per se.

It's more like a very dark pink flag.

<_<

Just wait to buy for now. Save up a bigger down payment, 40%. A lot of long-term benefits of doing that.

Like what? There doesn't seem to be any benefit to doing more than 20% except that you're that much closer to having your house paid off. You'd probably be better off investing the difference, though, in the long run. I'm interested to know your thoughts about it in case I overlooked anything.
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3khc posted...

C7D posted...

Can you buy the home without a consigner? Would you buy the home in question without your girlfriend around? What monetary reasons are preventing her from wanting to marry you?

I cannot buy the home we want without a cosigner to up the income. I would buy the home without her help if I could. There are no monetary reasons preventing her from marrying me, afaik.

This is a bad idea in my opinion. If things don't work out with you guys, this could get messy. I honestly don't think you should be looking at a house that is more than your income alone could provide for a number of reasons. Perhaps the relationship doesn't work out. Perhaps one of you loses a job. Lots of things can happen.

Unless she has garbage credit I'd wait for marriage anyway. Lenders are a lot more willing to issue lower interest rates to married couples. Not to mention having someone cosign that isn't immediate family or already living in the same household will most likely be rejected - especially on something as long-term as a home loan.
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Third_Eye posted...

The sad thing is that you're going to fall for it, like 99% of all men.

Fall for what?

JustMyOpinion posted...

If it's 50/50 co-borrower makes sense. If you're making her pay rent, I wouldn't want to co-sign. That means she has no claim to the equity in the house, but is responsible for the debt if you mess up. It's more risk than just straight up renting. I'd only do that if I were sure you'd be able to pay for the house (and if that were the case you probably wouldn't need a co-signer) and getting a huge discount on rent.

Yeah, as of now the home buying is currently on hold. My options are:

-Get a better job so I can qualify by myself.
-Or, settle for the small loan and get a bunk ass home. Either old and run down, or a condominium.
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JustMyOpinion posted...

Carlbertomfg posted...

Unless she has garbage credit I'd wait for marriage anyway. Lenders are a lot more willing to issue lower interest rates to married couples. Not to mention having someone cosign that isn't immediate family or already living in the same household will most likely be rejected - especially on something as long-term as a home loan.

None of that is true.

He's got a 100 percent win ratio . . . I must be wrong.
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JustMyOpinion posted...

Carlbertomfg posted...

JustMyOpinion posted...

Carlbertomfg posted...

Unless she has garbage credit I'd wait for marriage anyway. Lenders are a lot more willing to issue lower interest rates to married couples. Not to mention having someone cosign that isn't immediate family or already living in the same household will most likely be rejected - especially on something as long-term as a home loan.

None of that is true.

He's got a 100 percent win ratio . . . I must be wrong.

In the time it took you to make that snarky shitpost you could've Googled whether lenders can discriminate based on marital status. You probably should have done that instead.

Whoa whoa - did I say he'd be turned away? I don't speak definitively, home-boy.
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JustMyOpinion posted...

Why would anyone pay for half a house they get zero equity in?

I know I wouldn't. IF she were to co-sign the loan, she should also co-sign the home. But again, marriage reasons etc.

C7D posted...

3khc posted...

C7D posted...

Can you buy the home without a consigner? Would you buy the home in question without your girlfriend around? What monetary reasons are preventing her from wanting to marry you?

I cannot buy the home we want without a cosigner to up the income. I would buy the home without her help if I could. There are no monetary reasons preventing her from marrying me, afaik.

This is a bad idea in my opinion. If things don't work out with you guys, this could get messy. I honestly don't think you should be looking at a house that is more than your income alone could provide for a number of reasons. Perhaps the relationship doesn't work out. Perhaps one of you loses a job. Lots of things can happen.

Seems to look like I should settle for one of the smaller homes or condo. Those houses suck tho and I can't bring in roommates if it sucks.

JustMyOpinion posted...

Carlbertomfg posted...

Unless she has garbage credit I'd wait for marriage anyway. Lenders are a lot more willing to issue lower interest rates to married couples. Not to mention having someone cosign that isn't immediate family or already living in the same household will most likely be rejected - especially on something as long-term as a home loan.

None of that is true.

She has good credit, BUT she is paying off student loans. I don't think it'll be a problem anyway since the loan agent was clear that we really just need higher income.
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JustMyOpinion posted...

Carlbertomfg posted...

JustMyOpinion posted...

Carlbertomfg posted...

JustMyOpinion posted...

Carlbertomfg posted...

Unless she has garbage credit I'd wait for marriage anyway. Lenders are a lot more willing to issue lower interest rates to married couples. Not to mention having someone cosign that isn't immediate family or already living in the same household will most likely be rejected - especially on something as long-term as a home loan.

None of that is true.

He's got a 100 percent win ratio . . . I must be wrong.

In the time it took you to make that snarky shitpost you could've Googled whether lenders can discriminate based on marital status. You probably should have done that instead.

Whoa whoa - did I say he'd be turned away? I don't speak definitively, home-boy.

You said he'd probably be rejected for having an unmarried cosigner. In 0% of cases are lenders allowed to discriminate based on that. So I'm not sure what you're trying to say, but you're still wrong. In every case.

Even upper case?
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smh
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