Current Events > Do you pay for a girl on the first date even if the date didn't go well?

(+) Yeah! (+)

Are you a good guy like that?

You're not getting laid.
You've wasted an hour of your time on a stranger.
You're wasted your money on a pointless lunch/dinner.
You're back to square one.

Do you still pick up the bill?
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That's something that should be established at the start of the date and is not dependent on whether or not you think you're gonna get laid
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No.
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Here's what you should do in any given 1st date scenario.

1. Go on a date fully prepared to pay for everything. That means go somewhere within your means and without the expectation that she will split it. If you can't do this then maybe dating shouldn't be your priority in the first place.
2. Go through the motions of going to pay for it without assuming she'll offer to split it.
3. If she doesn't even make a token gesture, then you know what kind of person she is and how this relationship will go, assuming she likes you.

If you're ok with that, then keep going. You've got yourself a princess who doesn't see this relationship as equal, and that's fine for some people. Hell, maybe that's exactly the situation you like.

If she's a decent person though she will offer to split it, and she may even insist to pay. Hell, a lot of women will pay just to make sure you don't feel entitled to any physical action.

So that should answer your question. I don't think someone should go on a date unless they're fully prepared to cover the costs. That doesn't mean you should cover the costs, but at least you're prepared for it.
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eston posted...

That's something that should be established at the start of the date and is not dependent on whether or not you think you're gonna get laid

so you ask if the girl is willing to go dutch right off the bat? That's pretty ballsy to start. Already giving the vibe that you're cheap.
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EvalAngell posted...

Are you a good guy like that?

You're not getting laid.
You've wasted an hour of your time on a stranger.
You're wasted your money on a pointless lunch/dinner.
You're back to square one.

Do you still pick up the bill?

first dates should never be at expensive places, so yeah i pay first date.
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Well, yeah. Especially because Im not a psychic and dont know half that shit on a first date with a chick I havent gotten to know yet.

Edit: its not like were going to Fogo de Cho or some shit.

rhklce posted...

Well, yeah. Especially because Im not a psychic and dont know half that shit on a first date with a chick I havent gotten to know yet.

people tend to know if they're compatible by the time the bill is due.
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This guy sure didn't

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4513584/Austin-man-sues-woman-date-texting.html
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eston posted...

That's something that should be established at the start of the date and is not dependent on whether or not you think you're gonna get laid

EvalAngell posted...

rhklce posted...

Well, yeah. Especially because Im not a psychic and dont know half that shit on a first date with a chick I havent gotten to know yet.

people tend to know if they're compatible by the time the bill is due.

Sometimes though you like a person but they don't like you back, and it's not always easy to tell.

I still say go to pay it, but hope she splits it with you. I've been on a lot of dates but very few where the woman simply let me cough up the bill when she wasn't interested in me. Most decent people will feel a level of guilt there.
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Pinky has it right. Be expecting to pay for it all so go somewhere, where that's not a problem. If they offer that's great. You found bae
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This reminds me of that time Butters on South Park took a ho to a fancy dinner to get laid, or for some other reason, and he was trying to impress her and everything and she finally tells him how easy she is lol.

You shouldn't ever pay for the other person on the first date. Well maybe if you've known them for years and are only now going further.

Oh, there's actually another element to this that I forgot to mention.

Who suggested the location? Probably you right?

If you're a bit older than the girl and you have a full time job whereas she's working part-time hospitality while studying (reasonably common dynamic I think), it's unfair to expect her to split it when you suggested a fancy cocktail bar. If you suggest the particular location then don't assume the other person has the means to afford it. You wanted to go there presumably because it's nice, so don't put that on her.
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I agree with Mr. Hussey.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=71o3hq6iSPM
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ClockworkHare posted...

I agree with Mr. Hussey.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=71o3hq6iSPM

Yep that's the entire thing in a nutshell.
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I would never pay full on a first date to begin with. That's stupid because I may not see her again, and it could be wasted money.

The only exception is if she's poor and I'm not. Then I can understand paying for her.

Tired of women who are perfectly wealthy still trying to leech off of men.
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Ouned posted...

Tired of women who are perfectly wealthy still trying to leech off of men.

Does that happen a lot? I've never had that happen. The only women who have ever tried to take me for a ride on a date are the students working part-time hospitality I mentioned before.
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pinky0926 posted...

Ouned posted...

Tired of women who are perfectly wealthy still trying to leech off of men.

Does that happen a lot?

Idk but plenty of women have claimed to want the man to pay full even though they clearly work.

It's a dangerous game they're playing because the more a man pays for you, the more they will expect in return.
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EvalAngell posted...

rhklce posted...

Well, yeah. Especially because Im not a psychic and dont know half that shit on a first date with a chick I havent gotten to know yet.

people tend to know if they're compatible by the time the bill is due.

Ill give you that. Granted, the dates Ive been on recently have been with chicks I already knew so there was already compatibility and shit.

1. I did have one date with a chick that I met online. She just couldnt shut up about herself. Ended up dropping $125 on the dinner. I could have gotten more from it, but holy fuck was she annoying.

2. I wouldnt have known it was gonna be a waste of time until we did what we did. Id rather try something and know than wondering what if.

3. Unfortunately, a lot of things in life arent free. This partners into what I last said. I mean, we have to eat at some point. Its like you went out twice but only ate once.

4. Eh.

I should have read gooder.

I knew a guy who ALWAYS made the girl split the bill on the first date. Also, the first date was typically at a place like Big Boy or a coney island. He didn't want to go somewhere halfway decent in case he didn't like the the girl.
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Ouned posted...

Idk but plenty of women have claimed to want the man to pay full even though they clearly work.

It's a dangerous game they're playing because the more a man pays for you, the more they will expect in return.

Counter this with the plenty of men who expect they're owed some physical intimacy after a date because they paid for the drinks. As I said earlier I know women who will insist on paying just to avoid this awkward scenario.

I think the entire expectation here from both sides is rapidly changing. Women earn money just like men do, there should be no expectation for a man to pay, unless that man is wealthy as shit and he invited her to somewhere expensive while she's not earning a lot. If you insist on taking someone to a place they obviously couldn't afford, that bill should be on you.
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yes because my first dates never are more than like 10ish dollars and i generally just pay as soon as we grabbed drinks/coffees/whatever
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Scaramanga posted...

I knew a guy who ALWAYS made the girl split the bill on the first date. Also, the first date was typically at a place like Big Boy or a coney island. He didn't want to go somewhere halfway decent in case he didn't like the the girl.

The mistake here is going for dinner on a first date. Imagine having to sit and eat with someone you realised you don't like after 10 minutes and then figuring out how to split a $60 bill.

Go somewhere for drinks. When you ask if she wants another - if she enthusiastically says she would then she's probably enjoying herself.
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I try to pay for everyone because I don't value myself as much as them
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