Current Events > i feel like i'm coming dangerously close to being a homewrecker

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treewojima
11/05/17 10:35:02 AM
#1:


i'm talking with this girl i haven't seen in years. we hung out the night before i moved out of the area, and had a deep talk about life, the universe and everything... including us.

now i'm back, i shot her a text a couple days ago and we've been talking nonstop since. she has a boyfriend, and i respect her enough to not hit on her or do anything other than minor natural flirting... but man, the way we're talking, it's like she's putting serious thought into taking things in a different direction. we're just hitting it off that well.

i'm feeling very conflicted, because i don't want to be "that guy"
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awesome999
11/05/17 10:38:00 AM
#2:


It's okay as long as she doesn't cheat on him with you and is happier with you than him imo

As in she breaks up with the guy before you pursue anything at all. Nobody should be in a relationship when they suspect someone else may be better for them

There's a short story about this kind of thing actually 'About Love' by Anton Chekov
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treewojima
11/05/17 10:43:10 AM
#3:


i'm also being careful because i'm tired of falling for unavailable women, so i don't want to get my hopes up in case it doesn't happen. best thing i can do is just play it by ear and consider her off limits for the time being.

on the plus side, this is giving me a huge confidence boost, so i may just turn around and play the field even more
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Annihilated
11/05/17 10:59:03 AM
#4:


How old are their kids?
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treewojima
11/05/17 11:00:36 AM
#5:


Annihilated posted...
How old are their kids?


no kids. they ain't hitched or anything
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teepan95
11/05/17 11:02:43 AM
#6:


I was about to ask someone out when I found out she was engaged, but chose not to wear the ring.

I've never noped so fast
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On_The_Edge
11/05/17 11:03:01 AM
#7:


A boyfriend and girlfriend ain't a home. They're not married. Fair game.
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We're here.
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masticatingman
11/05/17 11:04:38 AM
#8:


Women usually arent conflicted about this, even if the girl whose man theyre taking is one of their good friends. The problem in either case is not being the home wrecker, its being the side piece, which is probably what would happen to you. It can be psychologically annoying for a lot of dudes to be placed in that number 2 slot.
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treewojima
11/05/17 11:51:03 AM
#9:


masticatingman posted...
Women usually arent conflicted about this, even if the girl whose man theyre taking is one of their good friends. The problem in either case is not being the home wrecker, its being the side piece, which is probably what would happen to you. It can be psychologically annoying for a lot of dudes to be placed in that number 2 slot.


i definitely don't want to be a sidepiece. the farthest i'll go without actually taking priority in her life is being a friend. we'll see how everything plays out though
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treewojima
11/05/17 12:56:04 PM
#10:


holy shit, we were born two days apart. this is getting dangerous, boyos
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Samurontai
11/05/17 12:57:22 PM
#11:


On_The_Edge posted...
A boyfriend and girlfriend ain't a home. They're not married. Fair game.


Wut
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darkjedilink
11/05/17 12:59:33 PM
#12:


On_The_Edge posted...
A boyfriend and girlfriend ain't a home. They're not married. Fair game.

This.
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treewojima
11/05/17 1:00:02 PM
#13:


Samurontai posted...
On_The_Edge posted...
A boyfriend and girlfriend ain't a home. They're not married. Fair game.


Wut


seriously. i don't want to be a shitty person. the heart wants what the heart wants, but the heart can do other things
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Hey
11/05/17 1:01:40 PM
#14:


treewojima posted...
Samurontai posted...
On_The_Edge posted...
A boyfriend and girlfriend ain't a home. They're not married. Fair game.


Wut


seriously. i don't want to be a shitty person. the heart wants what the heart wants, but the heart can do other things

Quit pretending like you are torn up. Just fuck her and admit you are a cheater
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treewojima
11/05/17 1:01:49 PM
#15:


i'm just not going to be super forward or anything. she'll need to make that move herself. i just really like this chick
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TheBiggerWiggle
11/05/17 1:03:11 PM
#16:


Try to get her to cheat. If she cheats you know she cannot be trusted. At that point it's time to move on.
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EnragedSlith
11/05/17 1:04:21 PM
#17:


awesome999 posted...
It's okay as long as she doesn't cheat on him with you and is happier with you than him imo

As in she breaks up with the guy before you pursue anything at all. Nobody should be in a relationship when they suspect someone else may be better for them

There's a short story about this kind of thing actually 'About Love' by Anton Chekov

Relationships are not built on spending time until something potentially better comes along. That is immaturity. Because youre always going to find compatibility with other people, and sometimes some that might be stronger than with your current partner.

Temptation will always be there. The fantasy can be powerful. But the truth is that the grass is greenest where you water it.

If your partner isnt making you happy, thats a different story.
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Kanaya413
11/05/17 1:27:54 PM
#18:


Cuck him
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HeyyItsProphet
11/05/17 1:29:26 PM
#19:


treewojima posted...
i'm talking with this girl i haven't seen in years. we hung out the night before i moved out of the area, and had a deep talk about life, the universe and everything... including us.

now i'm back, i shot her a text a couple days ago and we've been talking nonstop since. she has a boyfriend, and i respect her enough to not hit on her or do anything other than minor natural flirting... but man, the way we're talking, it's like she's putting serious thought into taking things in a different direction. we're just hitting it off that well.

i'm feeling very conflicted, because i don't want to be "that guy"


You're going to be that guy. You're living off your last memory of her without considering what's gone on or changed since then. Same as her possibly. With you coming into her life you could be putting a fork between her current relationship and you. The right thing to do is cease communication, but stay friends on facebook until she is single. There's no respect for someone who's intentions are to be with someone that's taken for.
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Kanaya413
11/05/17 1:31:39 PM
#20:


treewojima posted...
i'm also being careful because i'm tired of falling for unavailable women, so i don't want to get my hopes up in case it doesn't happen. best thing i can do is just play it by ear and consider her off limits for the time being.

on the plus side, this is giving me a huge confidence boost, so i may just turn around and play the field even more

God mood
Almost every guy I like is taken or just doesn't want me
---
Official Secretary of Kyogre's Cascade!!! FC: 5086-1980-2580 IGN: Vivi TSV 4077
Silent Chexmix: "Toxapex is Trump's wall in pixel form."
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lww99
11/05/17 1:38:26 PM
#21:


darkjedilink posted...
On_The_Edge posted...
A boyfriend and girlfriend ain't a home. They're not married. Fair game.

This.

darkjedilink posted...
On_The_Edge posted...
A boyfriend and girlfriend ain't a home. They're not married. Fair game.

This.


Don't really agree with this statement, as they can literally have a home together and not be married. But I'm not sure if they live together or not.
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teepan95
11/05/17 2:03:36 PM
#22:


Kanaya413 posted...
treewojima posted...
i'm also being careful because i'm tired of falling for unavailable women, so i don't want to get my hopes up in case it doesn't happen. best thing i can do is just play it by ear and consider her off limits for the time being.

on the plus side, this is giving me a huge confidence boost, so i may just turn around and play the field even more

God mood
Every girl I like is taken or just doesn't want me

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Kineth
11/05/17 2:05:52 PM
#23:


Don't nice guy your way out of a good relationship.
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treewojima
11/05/17 2:37:25 PM
#24:


Kineth posted...
Don't nice guy your way out of a good relationship.


quoted for truth. shit sucks. i'm just confused. women are strange.
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MutantJohn
11/05/17 2:51:08 PM
#25:


Any girl that leaves a guy for another guy will eventually do the same to you.
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Teddytalks
11/05/17 2:54:31 PM
#26:


Being a two time homewrecker, no regrets.

One of them was a middle eastern Muslim to. Wore the hijab and everything. You never know what you can bring innocent girls to do, So bare that in mind if you want to keep your conscious clean.
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Teddytalks
11/05/17 2:55:32 PM
#27:


MutantJohn posted...
Any girl that leaves a guy for another guy will eventually do the same to you.


As long as you don't get to invested and let her know you can do it again, it is ok. You'll be fine.
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teepan95
11/05/17 3:11:59 PM
#28:


Teddytalks posted...
One of them was a middle eastern Muslim to. Wore the hijab and everything. You never know what you can bring innocent girls to do, So bare that in mind if you want to keep your conscious clean.

...tell me more.
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On_The_Edge
11/05/17 6:40:29 PM
#29:


lww99 posted...
darkjedilink posted...
On_The_Edge posted...
A boyfriend and girlfriend ain't a home. They're not married. Fair game.

This.

darkjedilink posted...
On_The_Edge posted...
A boyfriend and girlfriend ain't a home. They're not married. Fair game.

This.


Don't really agree with this statement, as they can literally have a home together and not be married. But I'm not sure if they live together or not.

It doesn't matter. They haven't committed to each other for one reason or another. That means they're both open to alternatives whether they want to admit that or not.
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We're here.
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treewojima
11/05/17 7:52:52 PM
#30:


things took a pretty filthy swing for a few hours. this is going somewhere whether i like it or not
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treewojima
11/05/17 11:46:30 PM
#31:


one last bump. gotta grit my teeth and rejoin society tomorrow morning
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Teddytalks
11/06/17 9:03:30 AM
#32:


teepan95 posted...
Teddytalks posted...
One of them was a middle eastern Muslim to. Wore the hijab and everything. You never know what you can bring innocent girls to do, So bare that in mind if you want to keep your conscious clean.

...tell me more.


Hmm, I don't really feel comfortable sharing more than that honestly because it is still ongoing. Can't put her business out there, but honestly

Good conversation
Good treatment, and
a overall goodtime

That how I got it to happen twice. They just get so comfortable with you, and you make things so convenient and the time you share so happy, that they can trust to hold a secret relationship with you. Not like you're gonna leak it right? Mutual attraction have to be there first though.
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Teddytalks
11/06/17 9:13:33 AM
#33:


treewojima posted...
things took a pretty filthy swing for a few hours. this is going somewhere whether i like it or not


You're going to like. All I have to say is Let her make the decisions on where this is going. You're just along for the ride. This way, you don't have to feel responsible and don't have to hurt feelings.
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teepan95
11/06/17 1:49:01 PM
#34:


Teddytalks posted...
teepan95 posted...
Teddytalks posted...
One of them was a middle eastern Muslim to. Wore the hijab and everything. You never know what you can bring innocent girls to do, So bare that in mind if you want to keep your conscious clean.

...tell me more.


Hmm, I don't really feel comfortable sharing more than that honestly because it is still ongoing. Can't put her business out there, but honestly

Good conversation
Good treatment, and
a overall goodtime

That how I got it to happen twice. They just get so comfortable with you, and you make things so convenient and the time you share so happy, that they can trust to hold a secret relationship with you. Not like you're gonna leak it right? Mutual attraction have to be there first though.

Fair enough. I'm crushing on a hijabi currently, so I was hoping for tips lmao.
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Teddytalks
11/06/17 1:58:45 PM
#35:


teepan95 posted...
Teddytalks posted...
teepan95 posted...
Teddytalks posted...
One of them was a middle eastern Muslim to. Wore the hijab and everything. You never know what you can bring innocent girls to do, So bare that in mind if you want to keep your conscious clean.

...tell me more.


Hmm, I don't really feel comfortable sharing more than that honestly because it is still ongoing. Can't put her business out there, but honestly

Good conversation
Good treatment, and
a overall goodtime

That how I got it to happen twice. They just get so comfortable with you, and you make things so convenient and the time you share so happy, that they can trust to hold a secret relationship with you. Not like you're gonna leak it right? Mutual attraction have to be there first though.

Fair enough. I'm crushing on a hijabi currently, so I was hoping for tips lmao.


In this girl case, she lost a love one, and I was her tutor for English. I just checked up on her over the summer, making sure she was fine. First day I saw her she broke down in tears because of the pain she been going through, and I was just there for her. Since then, we just grew closer and closer. It really is just making people comfortable with you. I had the opportunity of just naturally being there to support her during trying times, so that how it happened. We hated each other before this semester , so it been a huge but lovely surprise.
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teepan95
11/06/17 3:01:11 PM
#36:


Teddytalks posted...
teepan95 posted...
Teddytalks posted...
teepan95 posted...
Teddytalks posted...
One of them was a middle eastern Muslim to. Wore the hijab and everything. You never know what you can bring innocent girls to do, So bare that in mind if you want to keep your conscious clean.

...tell me more.


Hmm, I don't really feel comfortable sharing more than that honestly because it is still ongoing. Can't put her business out there, but honestly

Good conversation
Good treatment, and
a overall goodtime

That how I got it to happen twice. They just get so comfortable with you, and you make things so convenient and the time you share so happy, that they can trust to hold a secret relationship with you. Not like you're gonna leak it right? Mutual attraction have to be there first though.

Fair enough. I'm crushing on a hijabi currently, so I was hoping for tips lmao.


In this girl case, she lost a love one, and I was her tutor for English. I just checked up on her over the summer, making sure she was fine. First day I saw her she broke down in tears because of the pain she been going through, and I was just there for her. Since then, we just grew closer and closer. It really is just making people comfortable with you. I had the opportunity of just naturally being there to support her during trying times, so that how it happened. We hated each other before this semester , so it been a huge but lovely surprise.

niiice

Shame none of it is transferable to my situation lmao
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treewojima
11/06/17 4:51:28 PM
#37:


Teddytalks posted...
treewojima posted...
things took a pretty filthy swing for a few hours. this is going somewhere whether i like it or not


You're going to like. All I have to say is Let her make the decisions on where this is going. You're just along for the ride. This way, you don't have to feel responsible and don't have to hurt feelings.


that's the plan. I'm not the pushy type anyway, I let my charm melt them like hot butter
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