Current Events > So I told my fiance she was fat last night and I need to know if she plans on

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HypnoCoosh
09/07/17 8:52:30 AM
#1:


staying fat or not.

If I need to accept her for who she is she needs to be straight forward about it. Also told her when I look at her I just think to myself "god she's fat". She literally ate four pieces of toast last night "just because".

Then she told me not to give up on her and she was not happy with the way she looked but "genetics". I told her it's not genetics it's fucking calories in calories out. It's a pretty simple concept eat healthy and exercise.
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Caution999
09/07/17 8:53:43 AM
#2:


Maybe try saying it in a nicer way :P
Or...buying some exercise equipment as a hint, but say "we can both use this!"
And you actually use it too...and if you live where it's gonna get cold for winter, it's the perfect thing to have in your house so when it gets cold, you can still exercise.
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HypnoCoosh
09/07/17 8:54:46 AM
#3:


No I was blunt as fuck about it.

I just told her I need to know because it isn't fair for me to expect her to change. But I also told her I'm not happy because basically she's fat.
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OpheliaAdenade
09/07/17 8:55:41 AM
#4:


Instead of trying to change her, why not get fat yourself? :u
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Fin_Dawg_004
09/07/17 8:56:18 AM
#5:


why did you propose to a fat chick?
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HypnoCoosh
09/07/17 8:59:11 AM
#6:


Fuck. @Fin_Dawg_004

Because shes awesome in like every other way. Plus I went through a divorce and she helped me back on my feet, moved across state and we bought a house together. Plus she's great with my daughter.

She's a perfect partner considering my situation. If she could just loose like 30 pounds I'd be a happy guy. But she has such bad eating habits and when she exercises she just does like 30 minutes of biking and doesn't even exert herself.

But all I see are hot ass bitches everywhere I look and just wish she would get her ass in shape.

she also makes great money working for the state as a psychologist.
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#7
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LastTomorrow
09/07/17 9:10:27 AM
#8:


Then start a workout routine.
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voldothegr8
09/07/17 9:15:02 AM
#9:


There's no way this happened or you'd be single right now.
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CanuckCowboy
09/07/17 9:28:27 AM
#10:


HypnoCoosh posted...
she also makes great money working for the state as a psychologist


What kind of garbage psychologist:

A-would be so desperate or needy that they'd put up with a guy talking g to them like that?

B-have so little self awareness they can't deal with their own health / image problems?
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HypnoCoosh
09/07/17 10:05:42 AM
#11:


voldothegr8 posted...
There's no way this happened or you'd be single right now.


Why not.

Why are we not allowed to be honest with our significant others?

We have this fucked up idea that we have to not be honest because of other peoples feelings. I think it's important to be honest about our feelings.
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HypnoCoosh
09/07/17 10:07:18 AM
#12:


JustMyOpinion posted...
You sound like a jerk. Why would you even ask that? Don't expect people to change. If you don't like the way they are then just leave. There are other people out there that will be good with your daughter and make good money.


Because I was starting to feel a lot of resentment because she doesn't even try. I know she has potential she just needs to wake up and do something about it or just be fat and miserable her whole like.

she admitted last night she hates how she looks. Well do something about it!
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Coolppl Owns
09/07/17 10:18:01 AM
#13:


the older she gets the harder it is to lose weight, she doesn't seem motivated and you can only do so much to motivate her. like you said, you either have to accept it or if her fatness bothers you that much, move on.

also your choice of words was pretty damn hurtful and i don't blame her if she feels even more demotivated now to try.
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Coffeebeanz
09/07/17 10:26:29 AM
#14:


"The problem isn't that obesity runs in your family; the problem is that no one runs in your family"
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voldothegr8
09/07/17 10:52:27 AM
#15:


Coffeebeanz posted...
"The problem isn't that obesity runs in your family; the problem is that no one runs in your family"

ROFL why have I never heard this one before? Good shit.
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Leight_Weight
09/07/17 10:56:07 AM
#16:


Good job, TC. Fat chicks are the worst. Hopefully she loses weight. Otherwise kick her ass to the curb.
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ReignFury
09/07/17 10:57:12 AM
#17:


Im not a fan of the fats
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HypnoCoosh
09/07/17 11:25:23 AM
#18:


I'm writing her an email.

It's harsh as fuck but the truth.

I need to know if she can be dedicated to lose weight or not.

Because I'm not gonna be married to a woman I'm not sexually attracted to and staring at other woman all the time.

This email is going to be the make it or break it.
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HypnoCoosh
09/07/17 11:26:07 AM
#19:


voldothegr8 posted...
Coffeebeanz posted...
"The problem isn't that obesity runs in your family; the problem is that no one runs in your family"

ROFL why have I never heard this one before? Good shit.


This is perfect.
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HypnoCoosh
09/07/17 11:28:29 AM
#20:


It's pretty bad when I stare at her mom and sister over her.

How is it her mom is smokin hot and her sister?

Just laziness.
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KILBOTz
09/07/17 11:30:06 AM
#21:


post the email here before you send it.

diet is learned behavior. your daughter is likely to pick up at least some of the habits of your fat fiancé if you marry her (depending on your daughter's age).
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Awesome
09/07/17 11:30:47 AM
#22:


tell her that youll always love her but dont want her health to suffer, shes obviously depressed and anxious if shes putting on weight and craving junk food.
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Romulox28
09/07/17 11:31:17 AM
#23:


the secret is to develop a feeding fetish and then everybody wins. my suggestion is to spend the next few months staying up until around 4am looking at weird pornography on the internet
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KILBOTz
09/07/17 11:32:11 AM
#24:


Awesome posted...
tell her that youll always love her but dont want her health to suffer, shes obviously depressed and anxious if shes putting on weight and craving junk food.


but that doesn't sound true, it sounds like his love is conditional.
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C7D
09/07/17 11:32:24 AM
#25:


Her height, weight, body fat percentage? Yours?

She takes care of your kid and has a professional STEM career. What do you do?

Who cooks and cleans at your home?

We need more info.
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RuthlessBadger
09/07/17 11:33:05 AM
#26:


TC you could have been more tactful about it. Instead you're being a dick. Have you ever considered maybe you're the reason she's not motivated? I hope when she dumps you she uses her horrible experiences with you to get in the best shape of her life and be one of those confident, sexy females that don't need a man to feel good about herself.
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Bio1590
09/07/17 11:35:24 AM
#27:


Surprise surprise Hyno is an asshole in real life as well.

(Provided this is even true)
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Seneca_Wallace_
09/07/17 11:36:38 AM
#28:


enjoy being single again rofl
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Coolppl Owns
09/07/17 11:36:44 AM
#29:


... Do you think she feels empowered and encouraged to lose weight for you when you just told her you think she's fat as fuck?

You also think she's lazy, another negative character trait.

I'm not saying you gotta stay with a fat chick but you should try a more positive approach if you care about the relationship. Being honest doesn't mean being obnoxious.
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HypnoCoosh
09/07/17 11:37:42 AM
#30:


Bio1590 posted...
Surprise surprise Hyno is an asshole in real life as well.

(Provided this is even true)


It's true.

You know what she needs the fucking hard truth or she'll end up fat and alone with cats.
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HypnoCoosh
09/07/17 11:38:41 AM
#31:


KILBOTz posted...
diet is learned behavior. your daughter is likely to pick up at least some of the habits of your fat fiancé if you marry her (depending on your daughter's age).


Luckily my ex wife is super into diet and exercise. And I'm very much into diet and exercise so our daughter gets a lot of good habbits fro us.
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HypnoCoosh
09/07/17 11:39:27 AM
#32:


KILBOTz posted...
it sounds like his love is conditional.


My happiness is conditional.

Who wants a fat girl?
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RuthlessBadger
09/07/17 11:40:49 AM
#33:


HypnoCoosh posted...
KILBOTz posted...
it sounds like his love is conditional.


My happiness is conditional.

Who wants a fat girl?

If she only needs to lose 30 pounds to be skinny she's not fat. She's thick and I love thick girls so send her my way.
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Coolppl Owns
09/07/17 11:41:21 AM
#34:


HypnoCoosh posted...
KILBOTz posted...
it sounds like his love is conditional.


My happiness is conditional.

Who wants a fat girl?


Apparently you since you married her...
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_Goggalor_
09/07/17 11:41:52 AM
#35:


Good. Fat chicks are disgusting.
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HypnoCoosh
09/07/17 11:43:23 AM
#36:


C7D posted...
Her height, weight, body fat percentage? Yours?

she's like 5'8" and like 190+ I think. I don't know for sure she wont let me see.

I'm 5'11" and like 158-160

She takes care of your kid and has a professional STEM career. What do you do?

She works for the state prison system as a psychologist

I work for large enterprise IT opperations

Who cooks and cleans at your home?

I do a majority of the cleaning but she does help she picks up the slack on the laundry.

We need more info.

like what

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KILBOTz
09/07/17 11:43:55 AM
#37:


HypnoCoosh posted...
KILBOTz posted...
it sounds like his love is conditional.


My happiness is conditional.

Who wants a fat girl?


I don't think there is anything wrong with having love of a SO be conditional and having not being fat being a condition. But I'm also coming up on 35 and my longest relationship was 3 years, most of my relationships are only a year so I don't give the best advice on this shit.

But yeah, no fat chicks.
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HypnoCoosh
09/07/17 11:45:23 AM
#38:


Coolppl Owns posted...
Apparently you since you married her...


Not yet.

Wedding is next month.
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MutantJohn
09/07/17 11:45:39 AM
#39:


This happened.
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NeoShadowhen
09/07/17 11:48:08 AM
#40:


Wait. Are you the guy who made a topic a couple weeks back about how you were still in love with your ex-wife, and were thinking about breaking it off with your current fiancé?
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HypnoCoosh
09/07/17 11:48:11 AM
#41:


MutantJohn posted...
This happened.


Why the fuck not?

This is not out of the realm of possible by any stretch of the imagination.
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C7D
09/07/17 11:49:53 AM
#42:


HypnoCoosh posted...
C7D posted...
Her height, weight, body fat percentage? Yours?

she's like 5'8" and like 190+ I think. I don't know for sure she wont let me see.

I'm 5'11" and like 158-160

She takes care of your kid and has a professional STEM career. What do you do?

She works for the state prison system as a psychologist

I work for large enterprise IT opperations

Who cooks and cleans at your home?

I do a majority of the cleaning but she does help she picks up the slack on the laundry.

We need more info.

like what


Okay, I think your feelings are understandable and you could definitely be upset about the weight gain. When I met my wife, I loved everything about her. I wasn't happy that she was overweight, actually quite a bit more than your wife, 5'3" and about 240. We got her some help. Now, a year later after starting her journey she is 5'3", 135 and still rocking DDDs. Don't give up hope. Don't degrade her. Just love her.
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HypnoCoosh
09/07/17 11:50:00 AM
#43:


NeoShadowhen posted...
Wait. Are you the guy who made a topic a couple weeks back about how you were still in love with your ex-wife, and were thinking about breaking it off with your current fiancé?


I've seen my ex since then a few times. Actually been texting all morning. We are both just trying to move on with out lives but are still really compatible and talk a lot.

I've been telling her about my fiance and mines argument about her being fat
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HypnoCoosh
09/07/17 11:51:22 AM
#44:


C7D posted...
she is 5'3", 135


Wow. That's impressive.

Did you get a personal trainer, dietitian?
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C7D
09/07/17 11:51:58 AM
#45:


HypnoCoosh posted...
NeoShadowhen posted...
Wait. Are you the guy who made a topic a couple weeks back about how you were still in love with your ex-wife, and were thinking about breaking it off with your current fiancé?


I've seen my ex since then a few times. Actually been texting all morning. We are both just trying to move on with out lives but are still really compatible and talk a lot.

I've been telling her about my fiance and mines argument about her being fat


Bad move. Don't talk to the ex about your problems in your current relationship. That will only cause problems with your fiancée.
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NeoShadowhen
09/07/17 11:52:54 AM
#46:


HypnoCoosh posted...
NeoShadowhen posted...
Wait. Are you the guy who made a topic a couple weeks back about how you were still in love with your ex-wife, and were thinking about breaking it off with your current fiancé?


I've seen my ex since then a few times. Actually been texting all morning. We are both just trying to move on with out lives but are still really compatible and talk a lot.

I've been telling her about my fiance and mines argument about her being fat


So it was you.

You didn't mention in that topic that she was fat.

What the hell happened? Weren't you going to talk to your brother or something? I thought we'd convinced you to break off this engagement. Now she's going to think it's because she's fat.
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HypnoCoosh
09/07/17 11:52:58 AM
#47:


C7D posted...
HypnoCoosh posted...
NeoShadowhen posted...
Wait. Are you the guy who made a topic a couple weeks back about how you were still in love with your ex-wife, and were thinking about breaking it off with your current fiancé?


I've seen my ex since then a few times. Actually been texting all morning. We are both just trying to move on with out lives but are still really compatible and talk a lot.

I've been telling her about my fiance and mines argument about her being fat


Bad move. Don't talk to the ex about your problems in your current relationship. That will only cause problems with your fiancée.


She knows my ex and I talk. That was just a ground rule I laid out before we got serious.
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KILBOTz
09/07/17 11:53:09 AM
#48:


HypnoCoosh posted...
I've been telling her about my fiance and mines argument about her being fat


you should end it with your fiancé then. this isn't something you should talk about with your ex.
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C7D
09/07/17 11:54:41 AM
#49:


HypnoCoosh posted...
C7D posted...
she is 5'3", 135


Wow. That's impressive.

Did you get a personal trainer, dietitian?


Dietician and sleeve gastrectomy surgery. After watching her diet for months and not losing any weight even when weighing her food and counting every calorie, we got her in touch with a metabolic specialist. As it turns out, her metabolism was totally screwed up due to a number of things. He got her on the right track, ultimately requiring surgery.
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LittleRoyal
09/07/17 11:55:36 AM
#50:


JustMyOpinion posted...
You sound like a jerk. Why would you even ask that? Don't expect people to change. If you don't like the way they are then just leave. There are other people out there that will be good with your daughter and make good money.


What the fuck fairy tale do you live in?

Nobody is perfect for anybody else.

If you care enough about someone, you change something for them.

If she values you more than her weight(moreso, more than being fat and eating when she wants), she will at least try.

Likewise if she said "you're almost perfect but you're overly blunt and rude af." Well if you value her more than you're rudeness you'd change (well chances are you'd not change, you seem narcissistic though I could be wrong. So you'd probably defend yourself and start a fight over changing for someone you supposedly love)

I'm here learning things to be the perfect wife for my husband. When I get that close to someone I'll change some things for him if he doesn't like certain things that are within my realm of control. Except I won't get fat for someone if he has a fat fetish because I reall value being healthy and liking how I look
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