Current Events > OCD is hell, CE.

(+) Yeah! (+)

I feel like I'm barely functioning because I can't control my thoughts. I obsess about my ex, who I want nothing more to do with. I obsess about a job interview I can do nothing about. I obsess about work, what people are thinking of, what they see in my face.

It's so unhealthy but I can't stop. My anxiety is through the roof, I'm literally shaking half the time. And this is without having any real problems to concern me.

My favorite is when I have to make shit symmetrical or I get anxious as hell and then I realize I look weird when I do that and then get anxious about how weird I look.

My compulsions are a little worse than my obsessions.
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Therapy and meds, bro.

NeoShadowhen posted...

Therapy and meds, bro.

Therapy starts soon I'm on meds, but Idk if they've had time to kick in.

OctilIery posted...

NeoShadowhen posted...

Therapy and meds, bro.

Therapy starts soon I'm on meds, but Idk if they've had time to kick in.

They haven't. Keep taking them. Any idea what kind of therapy?

giantblimpN7 posted...

My favorite is when I have to make shit symmetrical or I get anxious as hell and then I realize I look weird when I do that and then get anxious about how weird I look.

My compulsions are a little worse than my obsessions.

My compulsions aren't so bad. I sometimes draw blood from picking at hair, but that's about the worst of it and it's never very seriously. My obsessions have gotten significantly worse, though. This is what I imagine addiction feels like, being betrayed by your brain.

NeoShadowhen posted...

OctilIery posted...

NeoShadowhen posted...

Therapy and meds, bro.

Therapy starts soon I'm on meds, but Idk if they've had time to kick in.

They haven't. Keep taking them. Any idea what kind of therapy?

Just general therapy, no idea of specifics. I probably won't even see the same therapist again because I'll be changing jobs.

And I started meds at the beginning of the month, just went up to 30mg of Prozac today.

I still struggle like hell to do it, but learning to manage it through therapy helps a lot, man.
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Is that really OCD though? Having obsessions is one thing but without the compulsions it makes that seem as just high level of anxiety.

Not trying to belittle anxiety or your issues, just what you said here doesn't seem like OCD to me.
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shit sucks
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Sami1000 posted...

Is that really OCD though? Having obsessions is one thing but without the compulsions it makes that seem as just high level of anxiety.

Not trying to belittle anxiety or your issues, just what you said here doesn't seem like OCD to me.

There are definite compulsions, but they aren't so debilitating.

Have a hug, TC.

What's helped me before it attempting to swing my obsessive behavior towards something that doesn't fill me with dread. What worked for me was games. Trading card games, RPGs, anything with a lot of variables and moving pieces to keep track of. It was never perfect, but it helped get me out of the infinite loop of intrusive thoughts sometimes.

Hope things turn out ok for ya.
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Yes, OCD is bad
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I know how you feel tc. Sometimes I don't even want to be in public because of my number based off.

Sometimes something like noticing I stepped on a crack will trigger it, and then I have to step on every crack at least three times.

It's stressful. And if I ignore it I could have a panic attack
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OctilIery posted...

Sami1000 posted...

Is that really OCD though? Having obsessions is one thing but without the compulsions it makes that seem as just high level of anxiety.

Not trying to belittle anxiety or your issues, just what you said here doesn't seem like OCD to me.

There are definite compulsions, but they aren't so debilitating.

I have mostly compulsions, and less thoughts. It used to be other way around for years for me. It really feels like your own brain hates you. I can see how fucked up the rituals are, i can question them to the end of th world, yet brain just keep insisting that it must be that spesific way or times or everything goes bad.
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itachi15243 posted...

I know how you feel tc. Sometimes I don't even want to be in public because of my number based off.

Sometimes something like noticing I stepped on a crack will trigger it, and then I have to step on every crack at least three times.

It's stressful. And if I ignore it I could have a panic attack

I have similar ticks. Mine are numbers and left right based. Like if I step on a crack with my left foot I have to step on the next crack, and with my right foot. Or when I eat I always first bite I chew on left, then take the same size bite for my second bite and chew on right. Or if i scratch my left side I scratch the same spot on the right side.

Shit like that drives me crazy most of the day.
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Zodd3224 posted...

itachi15243 posted...

I know how you feel tc. Sometimes I don't even want to be in public because of my number based off.

Sometimes something like noticing I stepped on a crack will trigger it, and then I have to step on every crack at least three times.

It's stressful. And if I ignore it I could have a panic attack

I have similar ticks. Mine are numbers and left right based. Like if I step on a crack with my left foot I have to step on the next crack, and with my right foot. Or when I eat I always first bite I chew on left, then take the same size bite for my second bite and chew on right. Or if i scratch my left side I scratch the same spot on the right side.

Shit like that drives me crazy most of the day.

A lot of mine are in how I walk and how I eat. I have to take a certain number of steps in certain places, or when I'm snacking I have to eat a certain number of crackers spread evenly across my mouth. Certain number of bites, etc etc.

OctilIery posted...

Zodd3224 posted...

itachi15243 posted...

I know how you feel tc. Sometimes I don't even want to be in public because of my number based off.

Sometimes something like noticing I stepped on a crack will trigger it, and then I have to step on every crack at least three times.

It's stressful. And if I ignore it I could have a panic attack

I have similar ticks. Mine are numbers and left right based. Like if I step on a crack with my left foot I have to step on the next crack, and with my right foot. Or when I eat I always first bite I chew on left, then take the same size bite for my second bite and chew on right. Or if i scratch my left side I scratch the same spot on the right side.

Shit like that drives me crazy most of the day.

A lot of mine are in how I walk and how I eat. I have to take a certain number of steps in certain places, or when I'm snacking I have to eat a certain number of crackers spread evenly across my mouth. Certain number of bites, etc etc.

We may be twins
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Zodd3224 posted...

OctilIery posted...

Zodd3224 posted...

itachi15243 posted...

I know how you feel tc. Sometimes I don't even want to be in public because of my number based off.

Sometimes something like noticing I stepped on a crack will trigger it, and then I have to step on every crack at least three times.

It's stressful. And if I ignore it I could have a panic attack

I have similar ticks. Mine are numbers and left right based. Like if I step on a crack with my left foot I have to step on the next crack, and with my right foot. Or when I eat I always first bite I chew on left, then take the same size bite for my second bite and chew on right. Or if i scratch my left side I scratch the same spot on the right side.

Shit like that drives me crazy most of the day.

A lot of mine are in how I walk and how I eat. I have to take a certain number of steps in certain places, or when I'm snacking I have to eat a certain number of crackers spread evenly across my mouth. Certain number of bites, etc etc.

We may be twins

Man I hope not, for your sake.

And it sucks more because I work with my ex. I'm fine and over it then I see her and it starts again.

Do you ever get annoyed when someone says "I gotta fix that my OCD is kicking in" and they don't have OCD? I knew someone who was just organized and she would always say things along those lines and my god did it annoy me.
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What helped me a lot was both individual and group therapy. I'm still not convinced I'm on great meds, just some Lexapro in the morning and my overall anxiety/depression levels are still moderately high, but no panic attacks, no insomnia, and I've got healthy coping mechanisms at this point.
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P4wn4g3 posted...

What helped me a lot was both individual and group therapy. I'm still not convinced I'm on great meds, just some Lexapro in the morning and my overall anxiety/depression levels are still moderately high, but no panic attacks, no insomnia, and I've got healthy coping mechanisms at this point.

Honestly lately the whole idea of coping and managing just feeds my depression lately. Like I'm just waiting for things to get better, because I know they'll never actually be good :/

justaguy3492 posted...

Do you ever get annoyed when someone says "I gotta fix that my OCD is kicking in" and they don't have OCD? I knew someone who was just organized and she would always say things along those lines and my god did it annoy me.

All the fucking time. I hate Monk for that, too.

OctilIery posted...

P4wn4g3 posted...

What helped me a lot was both individual and group therapy. I'm still not convinced I'm on great meds, just some Lexapro in the morning and my overall anxiety/depression levels are still moderately high, but no panic attacks, no insomnia, and I've got healthy coping mechanisms at this point.

Honestly lately the whole idea of coping and managing just feeds my depression lately. Like I'm just waiting for things to get better, because I know they'll never actually be good :/

Getting better is an active process. It takes time and energy. Things won't change if you do nothing. Mostly you just need to identify the thoughts that begin obsessions/compulsions and use self talk to change those. There are other habits and treatments that help a lot but that's the big one.
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P4wn4g3 posted...

OctilIery posted...

P4wn4g3 posted...

What helped me a lot was both individual and group therapy. I'm still not convinced I'm on great meds, just some Lexapro in the morning and my overall anxiety/depression levels are still moderately high, but no panic attacks, no insomnia, and I've got healthy coping mechanisms at this point.

Honestly lately the whole idea of coping and managing just feeds my depression lately. Like I'm just waiting for things to get better, because I know they'll never actually be good :/

Getting better is an active process. It takes time and energy. Things won't change if you do nothing. Mostly you just need to identify the thoughts that begin obsessions/compulsions and use self talk to change those. There are other habits and treatments that help a lot but that's the big one.

Yeah, I know. But sometimes, especially lately, I dwell on the idea that things will only ever be better. That there isn't a point, because I'm not going to have things good again.

Yeah that's one of those thoughts you need to squash. Other people can't do it for you.
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P4wn4g3 posted...

Yeah that's one of those thoughts you need to squash. Other people can't do it for you.

Yup, working on it :3

Fuck this X.x

Zodd3224 posted...

OctilIery posted...

Zodd3224 posted...

itachi15243 posted...

I know how you feel tc. Sometimes I don't even want to be in public because of my number based off.

Sometimes something like noticing I stepped on a crack will trigger it, and then I have to step on every crack at least three times.

It's stressful. And if I ignore it I could have a panic attack

I have similar ticks. Mine are numbers and left right based. Like if I step on a crack with my left foot I have to step on the next crack, and with my right foot. Or when I eat I always first bite I chew on left, then take the same size bite for my second bite and chew on right. Or if i scratch my left side I scratch the same spot on the right side.

Shit like that drives me crazy most of the day.

A lot of mine are in how I walk and how I eat. I have to take a certain number of steps in certain places, or when I'm snacking I have to eat a certain number of crackers spread evenly across my mouth. Certain number of bites, etc etc.

We may be twins

Make that triplets

That pretty much describes a large portion of mine to a t
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itachi15243 posted...

Zodd3224 posted...

OctilIery posted...

Zodd3224 posted...

itachi15243 posted...

I know how you feel tc. Sometimes I don't even want to be in public because of my number based off.

Sometimes something like noticing I stepped on a crack will trigger it, and then I have to step on every crack at least three times.

It's stressful. And if I ignore it I could have a panic attack

I have similar ticks. Mine are numbers and left right based. Like if I step on a crack with my left foot I have to step on the next crack, and with my right foot. Or when I eat I always first bite I chew on left, then take the same size bite for my second bite and chew on right. Or if i scratch my left side I scratch the same spot on the right side.

Shit like that drives me crazy most of the day.

A lot of mine are in how I walk and how I eat. I have to take a certain number of steps in certain places, or when I'm snacking I have to eat a certain number of crackers spread evenly across my mouth. Certain number of bites, etc etc.

We may be twins

Make that triplets

That pretty much describes a large portion of mine to a t

Huh, i never really imagine there are others like me... we should start a support group, lol
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