Current Events > How do you feel about your BF/GF being friends with people theyve had sex with?

(+) Yeah! (+)

Just wondering about you guys.

I'm curious about many of the situations.

For example a straight gf
Who had sex with a female friend and wants to still be her friend

Or even male friends

And stuff like that.
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I don't mind. They're with me for a reason.
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I dont keep girls ive slept with around as friends and i dont care for her to do either. I find these things out soon and dont pursue them when i find out they do.
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don't care unless they hang out with them alone, or constantly talk about them.
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Every time I've had a gf who had a male friend she fucked in the past, she ended up fucking them during the relationship. Anecdotal, but it's enough for me to blacklist the entire idea. If the girl doesn't like it, she can kick rocks. Plenty of women out there.
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If I didn't trust them, I wouldn't be with them.
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only insecure people care about the past. once it stops when we are together (the sex) yall fine
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XT3M3 posted...

only insecure people care about the past. once it stops when we are together (the sex) yall fine

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It wouldn't be an issue for me, I wouldn't date them to begin with.

Monday posted...

Every time I've had a gf who had a male friend she fucked in the past, she ended up fucking them during the relationship

Every person i know in a similar situation has had the same outcome. I could just know shitty people but its enough for me to never be ok with it. Fine, im insecure. Dont be with me but its worked out so far.
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Cleo_II posted...

It wouldn't be an issue for me, I wouldn't date them to begin with.

Well you may not know their relationship history before dating!

VandorLee posted...

Monday posted...

Every time I've had a gf who had a male friend she fucked in the past, she ended up fucking them during the relationship

Every person i know in a similar situation has had the same outcome. I could just know shitty people but its enough for me to never be ok with it. Fine, im insecure. Dont be with me but its worked out so far.

I was dating a man who would hang out with and sometimes even tutor a girl he used to date, but he never cheated on me or anything (shed even say he's just tutoring her) but we ultimately broke up because he was getting really pushy for sex and I thought I was ready but I wasn't

So there's some good examples when it's not happening.
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LittleRoyal posted...

Cleo_II posted...

It wouldn't be an issue for me, I wouldn't date them to begin with.

Well you may not know their relationship history before dating!

VandorLee posted...

Monday posted...

Every time I've had a gf who had a male friend she fucked in the past, she ended up fucking them during the relationship

Every person i know in a similar situation has had the same outcome. I could just know shitty people but its enough for me to never be ok with it. Fine, im insecure. Dont be with me but its worked out so far.

I was dating a man who would hang out with and sometimes even tutor a girl he used to date, but he never cheated on me or anything (shed even say he's just tutoring her) but we ultimately broke up because he was getting really pushy for sex and I thought I was ready but I wasn't

So there's some good examples when it's not happening.

He might now think "Im never not cheating again and im on my way now to plow my ex for days"

Youre going out and not fucking? I dont understand this and i would be very angry and have never agreed to go out initially if we wernt already sleeping together.
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Huh?
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LittleRoyal posted...

Huh?

-He goes out with you.
-Tutors ex
-Does not cheat
-WANTS to have sex with HIS GIRL FRIEND
-GIRL FRIEND DOES NOT WANT TO HAVE SEX.

What the hell?
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Fine, I do the same tbh.
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LittleRoyal posted...

For example a straight gf
Who had sex with a female friend and wants to still be her friend

sounds hot tbh, and potentially beneficial
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No problem with it. Trust em till they give ya a reason not to.

I even had a chick I was seeing move in with an ex back in the day. Didn't want to cohabitate so I couldn't really bitch too much.
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VandorLee posted...

LittleRoyal posted...

Huh?

-He goes out with you.
-Tutors ex
-Does not cheat
-WANTS to have sex with HIS GIRL FRIEND
-GIRL FRIEND DOES NOT WANT TO HAVE SEX.

What the hell?

This. Assuming the story is real and he actually did not cheat, you lost out on someone good.
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What does it matter if they had sex and are still friends? That's the focus here? Is sex really all that important?
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Kisai posted...

Is sex really all that important?

YES!!!!!!
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The-19th-Sparta posted...

VandorLee posted...

LittleRoyal posted...

Huh?

-He goes out with you.
-Tutors ex
-Does not cheat
-WANTS to have sex with HIS GIRL FRIEND
-GIRL FRIEND DOES NOT WANT TO HAVE SEX.

What the hell?

This. Assuming the story is real and he actually did not cheat, you lost out on someone good.

I wasn't ready to though :(

VandorLee posted...

Kisai posted...

Is sex really all that important?

YES!!!!!!

Why?
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I'm only friends with women I want to get physical with.
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LittleRoyal posted...

The-19th-Sparta posted...

VandorLee posted...

LittleRoyal posted...

Huh?

-He goes out with you.
-Tutors ex
-Does not cheat
-WANTS to have sex with HIS GIRL FRIEND
-GIRL FRIEND DOES NOT WANT TO HAVE SEX.

What the hell?

This. Assuming the story is real and he actually did not cheat, you lost out on someone good.

I wasn't ready to though :(

Then you weren't ready for a relationship with him or really with any guy that expects sex during a relationship.

LittleRoyal posted...

VandorLee posted...

Kisai posted...

Is sex really all that important?

YES!!!!!!

Why?

Intimacy up to and including sex is a huge part of any relationship today, and if you can't accept that, you might as well only go out with non-hypocritical Christians since they don't expect to have sex before marriage.
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I don't judge based on religion or anything like that.

I just don't feel ready for sex, and I want a relationship, and it makes no sense to me why they have to be mutually exclusive or why people assume I'm having sex any time I'm dating someone or why boyfriends need to be told in advance I'm not sexually active or why I can say it then they still expect me to magically change my minds.

Especially when one player mode is much more fun and safe
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Paragon21XX posted...

Intimacy up to and including sex is a huge part of any relationship today

???
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LinksLiege posted...

Paragon21XX posted...

Intimacy up to and including sex is a huge part of any relationship today

???

They meant like these days not just today specifically
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LittleRoyal posted...

I don't judge based on religion or anything like that.

I just don't feel ready for sex, and I want a relationship, and it makes no sense to me why they have to be mutually exclusive or why people assume I'm having sex any time I'm dating someone or why boyfriends need to be told in advance I'm not sexually active or why I can say it then they still expect me to magically change my minds.

Especially when one player mode is much more fun and safe

This is all common sense to me but ill try to explain what im not sure you get:

I have hormones and i need sex or ill typically be really cranky or over think about sex. Girls ive been with and the one im with now seem to agree with hormones, the need for sex and general crankiness without sex. We also see some agreed ownership in one another as we both dont want the other having sex with anyone else.

If i went out with a girl and she said she wasnt ready for sex then i simply would say thanks for letting me know but we want different things and i wont be calling you back, no offense. I want sex and when i ask girls out i already was sexually interested in them.
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LittleRoyal posted...

They meant like these days not just today specifically

I was more referencing the fact that our drive for sex has been a major factor in our species since it started being a species. Not even the beginning - well before then in our evolution.

Sex is one of the prime biological urges of...like, all life.
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LittleRoyal posted...

I don't judge based on religion or anything like that.

I just don't feel ready for sex, and I want a relationship, and it makes no sense to me why they have to be mutually exclusive or why people assume I'm having sex any time I'm dating someone or why boyfriends need to be told in advance I'm not sexually active or why I can say it then they still expect me to magically change my minds.

Especially when one player mode is much more fun and safe

If you don't want sex in a relationship then you need to be forward about it right out of the gate or else both yours and his time is gonna end up being wasted, because the vast majority of people want sex with their relationships.

How old are you?
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Deal breaker, I ain't got time for all that drama.
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VandorLee posted...

LittleRoyal posted...

I don't judge based on religion or anything like that.

I just don't feel ready for sex, and I want a relationship, and it makes no sense to me why they have to be mutually exclusive or why people assume I'm having sex any time I'm dating someone or why boyfriends need to be told in advance I'm not sexually active or why I can say it then they still expect me to magically change my minds.

Especially when one player mode is much more fun and safe

This is all common sense to me but ill try to explain what im not sure you get:

I have hormones and i need sex or ill typically be really cranky or over think about sex. Girls ive been with and the one im with now seem to agree with hormones, the need for sex and general crankiness without sex. We also see some agreed ownership in one another as we both dont want the other having sex with anyone else.

If i went out with a girl and she said she wasnt ready for sex then i simply would say thanks for letting me know but we want different things and i wont be calling you back, no offense. I want sex and when i ask girls out i already was sexually interested in them.

I get that you don't want cheating I'm asking why sex is a big deal at all. I have hormones too and stuff feels good but it doesn't mean I need another person for that. I'm just not ready for it so I do stuff alone to get that out and it's much more fun than the time I tried with a guy.

So I get that if you're ready for it you want sex, but why not just do it alone instead of making such a big deal about it?


@stoltenberg11 I am (now) wasn't earlier but when I was up front about it the guy agreed to it and cornered and groped my anyway. It was really scary.

I'm 20
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LittleRoyal posted...

VandorLee posted...

LittleRoyal posted...

I don't judge based on religion or anything like that.

I just don't feel ready for sex, and I want a relationship, and it makes no sense to me why they have to be mutually exclusive or why people assume I'm having sex any time I'm dating someone or why boyfriends need to be told in advance I'm not sexually active or why I can say it then they still expect me to magically change my minds.

Especially when one player mode is much more fun and safe

This is all common sense to me but ill try to explain what im not sure you get:

I have hormones and i need sex or ill typically be really cranky or over think about sex. Girls ive been with and the one im with now seem to agree with hormones, the need for sex and general crankiness without sex. We also see some agreed ownership in one another as we both dont want the other having sex with anyone else.

If i went out with a girl and she said she wasnt ready for sex then i simply would say thanks for letting me know but we want different things and i wont be calling you back, no offense. I want sex and when i ask girls out i already was sexually interested in them.

I get that you don't want cheating I'm asking why sex is a big deal at all. I have hormones too and stuff feels good but it doesn't mean I need another person for that. I'm just not ready for it so I do stuff alone to get that out and it's much more fun than the time I tried with a guy.

So I get that if you're ready for it you want sex, but why not just do it alone instead of making such a big deal about it?


@stoltenberg11 I am (now) wasn't earlier but when I was up front about it the guy agreed to it and cornered and groped my anyway. It was really scary.

I'm 20

Me "doing it myself" it quite frankly NOTHING like the real thing. The other person, not just looking at stuff and rubbing one out and how good the climax is is MUCH GREATER with another person. Doing it myself satisfies me shortly and leaves me wanting more. Banging my wife at night can clear my head of sex well into the next day.
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I mean if the other person clearly had a thing for them still it might bug me a little but 99% of the time I think it's a good thing.
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LittleRoyal posted...

VandorLee posted...

LittleRoyal posted...

I don't judge based on religion or anything like that.

I just don't feel ready for sex, and I want a relationship, and it makes no sense to me why they have to be mutually exclusive or why people assume I'm having sex any time I'm dating someone or why boyfriends need to be told in advance I'm not sexually active or why I can say it then they still expect me to magically change my minds.

Especially when one player mode is much more fun and safe

This is all common sense to me but ill try to explain what im not sure you get:

I have hormones and i need sex or ill typically be really cranky or over think about sex. Girls ive been with and the one im with now seem to agree with hormones, the need for sex and general crankiness without sex. We also see some agreed ownership in one another as we both dont want the other having sex with anyone else.

If i went out with a girl and she said she wasnt ready for sex then i simply would say thanks for letting me know but we want different things and i wont be calling you back, no offense. I want sex and when i ask girls out i already was sexually interested in them.

I get that you don't want cheating I'm asking why sex is a big deal at all. I have hormones too and stuff feels good but it doesn't mean I need another person for that. I'm just not ready for it so I do stuff alone to get that out and it's much more fun than the time I tried with a guy.

So I get that if you're ready for it you want sex, but why not just do it alone instead of making such a big deal about it?


@stoltenberg11 I am (now) wasn't earlier but when I was up front about it the guy agreed to it and cornered and groped my anyway. It was really scary.

I'm 20

Probably because doing it with someone else is generally much more fun and pleasurable than doing it by yourself. Also someone can take "I'm just not ready" as you not being attracted to them physically.
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voldothegr8 posted...

Deal breaker, I ain't got time for all that drama.

If someone having a sexual history and not having completely severed ties with every single sexual partner = drama to you... the problem is almost assuredly you.
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LittleRoyal posted...

I am (now) wasn't earlier but when I was up front about it the guy agreed to it and cornered and groped my anyway. It was really scary.

He probably thought you were playing hard to get or that you'd change your mind. I'm not excusing his behavior btw I'm just trying to explain what his likely thought processes were. It's still safest to just say you don't want sex right away, and don't say stuff like "I don't want sex yet"(it's implied you will eventually) because then a lot of guys are gonna always acting like this other guy did hoping you'll finally be ready.
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CanuckCowboy posted...

voldothegr8 posted...

Deal breaker, I ain't got time for all that drama.

If someone having a sexual history and not having completely severed ties with every single sexual partner = drama to you... the problem is almost assuredly you.

Keep lying to yourself.
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shockthemonkey posted...

Try having good sex

Don't feel like it

Vandorlee you really weren't classy at all with that like no offense but seriously? Eww.

Also, don't watch stuff it's boring and hard to relate and get into a good mindset spend s few minutes thinking of the scenario and setting the scene and the other players, then about an hour on the scene, then think of post scene stuff. Easy, quick, and more satisfying than watching whatever acrobatics they do which seem painful. It won't ever work as well or as fun

Stolten he'd be dumb to think that was what I wanted since I explicitly stated it isn't and if I wanted to go around and just have random sex maybe he'd have thought about why I'd be going out with him instead of more attractive guys. It didn't feel good, it was scary, and I told everyone about it except officials because I'm too dumb/nice to try to get someone expelled

Canuck, why? Sex is a big deal to some people so sometimes when you're sexually active with someone then you start dating another person they'll feel insecure!
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voldothegr8 posted...

CanuckCowboy posted...

voldothegr8 posted...

Deal breaker, I ain't got time for all that drama.

If someone having a sexual history and not having completely severed ties with every single sexual partner = drama to you... the problem is almost assuredly you.

Keep lying to yourself.

lmao

You're that damaged huh?
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NOM posted...

doing it with someone else is generally much more fun and pleasurable than doing it by yourself.

For a female who is with a partner that isn't any good?

Thats just plain not true. At all. Somehow I missed the generally.
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Or, itll probably be a while but, actually fuck someone and get over your issues. Dont get me wrong i sucked at sex for a while cause i was shy and not comfortable being naked around a girl. I just had to work through it but when you do you wont ever settle for giving yourself hand jobs, youll need the real deal and only "do it yourself" to scrape by until you can get the real deal.

Dont worry, in 10 years youll be dying for it so no rush.
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VandorLee posted...

Or, itll probably be a while but, actually fuck someone and get over your issues. Dont get me wrong i sucked at sex for a while cause i was shy and not comfortable being naked around a girl. I just had to work through it but when you do you wont ever settle for giving yourself hand jobs, youll need the real deal and only "do it yourself" to scrape by until you can get the real deal.

Dont worry, in 10 years youll be dying for it so no rush.

Why dying for it? There are endless supplies lol it's like I'm the only person on campus who isn't painfully horny.

And I don't know I think you're exaggerating. I did have sex to get over it. It didn't work I didn't like it lol
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The23rdMagus posted...

I don't mind. They're with me for a reason.

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LittleRoyal posted...

VandorLee posted...

Or, itll probably be a while but, actually fuck someone and get over your issues. Dont get me wrong i sucked at sex for a while cause i was shy and not comfortable being naked around a girl. I just had to work through it but when you do you wont ever settle for giving yourself hand jobs, youll need the real deal and only "do it yourself" to scrape by until you can get the real deal.

Dont worry, in 10 years youll be dying for it so no rush.

Why dying for it? There are endless supplies lol it's like I'm the only person on campus who isn't painfully horny.

And I don't know I think you're exaggerating. I did have sex to get over it. It didn't work I didn't like it lol

Your 20. You sound like it. Again, at 20 i was still working through my shyness and comfort with being naked and it greatly hindered my enjoyment of sex. Once you work through issues its great. At best you are just different and not the norm but im very confident youll "normal" out. Girls hormones dont peak till like 38 or something while males is like 18.
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I feel normal. And idk I think I'm cute enough and no being naked in front of a bunch of people isn't a great time for me, but I'm also not like ashamed of my body, I walk around my own house nude sometimes or swim in a two piece with a seethriygh shirt (but that's because of my grandma nothing else) and I walk around close friends houses in undies and some male friends have seen me in undies but I throw pillows or whatever at them.

Not like too upset mostly as a joke and to make them leave so I can get dressed.


So idk doesn't sound like the same issue between me and you imo.
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LittleRoyal posted...

I feel normal. And idk I think I'm cute enough and no being naked in front of a bunch of people isn't a great time for me, but I'm also not like ashamed of my body, I walk around my own house nude sometimes or swim in a two piece with a seethriygh shirt (but that's because of my grandma nothing else) and I walk around close friends houses in undies and some male friends have seen me in undies but I throw pillows or whatever at them.

Not like too upset mostly as a joke and to make them leave so I can get dressed.


So idk doesn't sound like the same issue between me and you imo.

Adult: Im hungry
Kid: Im NOT hungry. I dont think ill ever be hungry! Im Special!
Adult: Oh jesus fuck, youll get hungry just give it some time.
Kid: NOPE Im SPECIAL and im NEVER going to be hungry!
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This is a weird topic. But I think you should be upfront about your sexual intentions so no one has to get hurt
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MarqueeSeries posted...

This is a weird topic. But I think you should be upfront about your sexual intentions so no one has to get hurt

I am. 2 long term relationships i started the first date by saying "I really want to have sex as soon as you want to but Im not going to keep trying to do stuff without permission so ill just be nice and polite unless you give me a sign or tell me i can do stuff"

First one i had sex with first date and the second one on the second date. Both long term relationships.
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