Current Events > I have never understood why some guys get upset when gay guys hit on them.

(+) Yeah! (+)

It is a compliment. If you arent interested, just say so. It isnt a big deal.
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I remember when I was 16, I was looking for a summer job and I came across this old guy who had a business that had to do with installing cabinets. I was all set to start working by next week. We exchanged numbers and everything. So the same day at around 12 am he started sending me creepy texts like "what are you doing" "you want me to come over so we can talk?" I told him he was being creepy and he got mad and said "I don't need you anymore" I just blocked him after that.

Insecurity issues maybe
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I guess it depends on how insistent they are.

Like with chicks who get called a bitch for finally snapping on a dude who just keeps trying.

If the gay guy's just like "ok, cool," I'd probably end up friends with him.

If he keeps up with pushing the issue, I'd get annoyed.
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Scared of being treated the way they themselves treat women.
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Depends on how pushy and creepy they are, most gay dudes are cool when you turn them down or tell them your into women only, the good cool ones are usually become a new friend.
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If you are gay and you hit on a straight man knowing he is straight you probably deserve any negative reaction you get as long as its not fatal
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I think they're worried about being perceived as gay lol

DrizztLink posted...

I guess it depends on how insistent they are.

Like with chicks who get called a bitch for finally snapping on a dude who just keeps trying.

If the gay guy's just like "ok, cool," I'd probably end up friends with him.

If he keeps up with pushing the issue, I'd get annoyed.

That's more about behavior than their sexuality to be fair.
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assassinCrash posted...

I remember when I was 16, I was looking for a summer job and I came across this old guy who had a business that had to do with installing cabinets. I was all set to start working by next week. We exchanged numbers and everything. So the same day at around 12 am he started sending me creepy texts like "what are you doing" "you want me to come over so we can talk?" I told him he was being creepy and he got mad and said "I don't need you anymore" I just blocked him after that.

One creepy old man =/= gay people. Could just as easily have been a creepy old woman. Stuff like that is never ok regardless of orientation, and isnt what this topic is about.



PoopMcgee420 posted...

If you are gay and you hit on a straight man knowing he is straight you probably deserve any negative reaction you get as long as its not fatal

Yeah, if the guy has already flat out told you he is straight. You never really know though unless you ask. There are plenty of bi people out there.
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It's usually a form of homophobia, even if they don't realize it.

I just feel sorry for anybody who hits on me. Like... Get your life together, man. You can do better.
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In many guys' minds gay men are effeminate or not "real" men so when a gay guy hits on them thinking they are also gay it's considered an affront to their masculinity

Axiom posted...

In many guys' minds gay men are effeminate or not "real" men so when a gay guy hits on them thinking they are also gay it's considered an affront to their masculinity

If that is the case, it is an incredibly stupid and inaccurate worldview. Lets be real, gay sex is the most masculine form of sex possible.
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SmidgeIsntBack posted...

Scared of being treated the way they themselves treat women.

This. Don't roll up on me like you're going to fuck me. And yea, as a straight man, I'd wonder why a gay man would assume id be open to his advance. Do I look gay? No. If I wanted you, id come to you.

Not scared so much as kinda annoyed. Like if someone came up to me and asked if I had meth. Are you saying I look like a tweaker? Similar here, do I look gay?

It not always homophilia, it's masculine pride as well.

Keith_Valentine posted...

it's masculine pride as well.

Wow, you actually just confirmed Axiom's post. That was fast.
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Axiom posted...

In many guys' minds gay men are effeminate or not "real" men so when a gay guy hits on them thinking they are also gay it's considered an affront to their masculinity

This kinda. They are real men to me, it would just make me wonder why they would think I'm not straight.

CountessRolab posted...

Axiom posted...

In many guys' minds gay men are effeminate or not "real" men so when a gay guy hits on them thinking they are also gay it's considered an affront to their masculinity

If that is the case, it is an incredibly stupid and inaccurate worldview. Lets be real, gay sex is the most masculine form of sex possible.

I agree (Well with the worldview part anyway >_>). It's ignorance at best and homophobia at worst

CountessRolab posted...

Axiom posted...

In many guys' minds gay men are effeminate or not "real" men so when a gay guy hits on them thinking they are also gay it's considered an affront to their masculinity

If that is the case, it is an incredibly stupid and inaccurate worldview. Lets be real, gay sex is the most masculine form of sex possible.

Lol. Wut?

Keith_Valentine posted...

Axiom posted...

In many guys' minds gay men are effeminate or not "real" men so when a gay guy hits on them thinking they are also gay it's considered an affront to their masculinity

This kinda. They are real men to me, it would just make me wonder why they would think I'm not straight.

You are looking at in the wrong light. Guys dont hit on you because they think you are gay, they hit on you because they think you are hot.

Further, you are viewing gay people through a very stereotypical lens. You seem to think that all gay men are ultra feminine flaming queens like you see on TV. That is not the case. I am a gay man, and you would never know it unless I told you. In fact, MOST gay guys arent stereotypically gay. You only notice the ones who are because the rest act no different from straight people. Being attracted to men is just a facet of someone's personality. It does not cause people to automatically act feminine. Flaming queens are a vocal minority.

I would also challenge your assumption that there is something wrong with being gay. Why is someone less of a man because they happen to like a different kind of sex? I know plenty of gay guys who are far more stereotypically "masculine" than most straight guys. I would encourage you to make some gay friends IRL so you can see how we really are.
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Keith_Valentine posted...

CountessRolab posted...

Axiom posted...

In many guys' minds gay men are effeminate or not "real" men so when a gay guy hits on them thinking they are also gay it's considered an affront to their masculinity

If that is the case, it is an incredibly stupid and inaccurate worldview. Lets be real, gay sex is the most masculine form of sex possible.

Lol. Wut?

Gay sex involves more Y chromosomes than straight sex, therefore it is more masculine in a literal sense *shrugs*
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CountessRolab posted...

Keith_Valentine posted...

Axiom posted...

In many guys' minds gay men are effeminate or not "real" men so when a gay guy hits on them thinking they are also gay it's considered an affront to their masculinity

This kinda. They are real men to me, it would just make me wonder why they would think I'm not straight.

You are looking at in the wrong light. Guys dont hit on you because they think you are gay, they hit on you because they think you are hot.

Further, you are viewing gay people through a very stereotypical lens. You seem to think that all gay men are ultra feminine flaming queens like you see on TV. That is not the case. I am a gay man, and you would never know it unless I told you. In fact, MOST gay guys arent stereotypically gay. You only notice the ones who are because the rest act no different from straight people. Being attracted to men is just a facet of someone's personality. It does not cause people to automatically act feminine. Flaming queens are a minority.

I would also challenge your assumption that there is something wrong with being gay. Why is someone less of a man because they happen to like a different kind of sex? I know plenty of gay guys who are far more stereotypically "masculine" than most straight guys. I would encourage you to make some gay friends IRL so you can see how we really are.

What the fuck. I never said gay men are flaming queens. I never said being gay is wrong.

Dont just dump all that false generalized shit on my character. You are assuming too much about me and being unfair. I just shared my honest thoughts as a straight man, dont ever slander me with that bullshit

Keith_Valentine posted...

CountessRolab posted...

Keith_Valentine posted...

Axiom posted...

In many guys' minds gay men are effeminate or not "real" men so when a gay guy hits on them thinking they are also gay it's considered an affront to their masculinity

This kinda. They are real men to me, it would just make me wonder why they would think I'm not straight.

You are looking at in the wrong light. Guys dont hit on you because they think you are gay, they hit on you because they think you are hot.

Further, you are viewing gay people through a very stereotypical lens. You seem to think that all gay men are ultra feminine flaming queens like you see on TV. That is not the case. I am a gay man, and you would never know it unless I told you. In fact, MOST gay guys arent stereotypically gay. You only notice the ones who are because the rest act no different from straight people. Being attracted to men is just a facet of someone's personality. It does not cause people to automatically act feminine. Flaming queens are a minority.

I would also challenge your assumption that there is something wrong with being gay. Why is someone less of a man because they happen to like a different kind of sex? I know plenty of gay guys who are far more stereotypically "masculine" than most straight guys. I would encourage you to make some gay friends IRL so you can see how we really are.

What the fuck. I never said gay men are flaming queens. I never said being gay is wrong.

Dont just dump all that false generalized shit on my character. You are assuming too much about me and being unfair. I just shared my honest thoughts as a straight man, dont ever slander me with that bullshit

Well that escalated quickly.
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CountessRolab posted...

Keith_Valentine posted...

CountessRolab posted...

Axiom posted...

In many guys' minds gay men are effeminate or not "real" men so when a gay guy hits on them thinking they are also gay it's considered an affront to their masculinity

If that is the case, it is an incredibly stupid and inaccurate worldview. Lets be real, gay sex is the most masculine form of sex possible.

Lol. Wut?

Gay sex involves more Y chromosomes than straight sex, therefore it is more masculine in a literal sense *shrugs*

Men are biologically designed to fuck women. If you think that isn't the most masculine form of sex, you aren't doing it right or you have different sexual tastes and that's fine. But your statement is an opinion, not fact

It's not a compliment.
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Keith_Valentine posted...

CountessRolab posted...

Keith_Valentine posted...

CountessRolab posted...

Axiom posted...

In many guys' minds gay men are effeminate or not "real" men so when a gay guy hits on them thinking they are also gay it's considered an affront to their masculinity

If that is the case, it is an incredibly stupid and inaccurate worldview. Lets be real, gay sex is the most masculine form of sex possible.

Lol. Wut?

Gay sex involves more Y chromosomes than straight sex, therefore it is more masculine in a literal sense *shrugs*

Men are biologically designed to fuck women. If you think that isn't the most masculine form of sex, you aren't doing it right or you have different sexual tastes and that's fine. But your statement is an opinion, not fact

lol
Its ok bro, I believe you are straight.
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Keith_Valentine posted...

CountessRolab posted...

Keith_Valentine posted...

CountessRolab posted...

Axiom posted...

In many guys' minds gay men are effeminate or not "real" men so when a gay guy hits on them thinking they are also gay it's considered an affront to their masculinity

If that is the case, it is an incredibly stupid and inaccurate worldview. Lets be real, gay sex is the most masculine form of sex possible.

Lol. Wut?

Gay sex involves more Y chromosomes than straight sex, therefore it is more masculine in a literal sense *shrugs*

Men are biologically designed to fuck women. If you think that isn't the most masculine form of sex, you aren't doing it right or you have different sexual tastes and that's fine. But your statement is an opinion, not fact

There's nothing girly about same man on man action. Two athletic men grunting and gritting their teeth through any pain sounds manly as fuck. Dominating another man and using him takes a lot more masculinity tbh
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You escalated it, tc, when you implied I am a homophobe or unfriendly to gays. Then furthered it by implying I'm sheltered. You disrespected me, I was just discussing your topic

Darmik posted...

Keith_Valentine posted...

CountessRolab posted...

Keith_Valentine posted...

CountessRolab posted...

Axiom posted...

In many guys' minds gay men are effeminate or not "real" men so when a gay guy hits on them thinking they are also gay it's considered an affront to their masculinity

If that is the case, it is an incredibly stupid and inaccurate worldview. Lets be real, gay sex is the most masculine form of sex possible.

Lol. Wut?

Gay sex involves more Y chromosomes than straight sex, therefore it is more masculine in a literal sense *shrugs*

Men are biologically designed to fuck women. If you think that isn't the most masculine form of sex, you aren't doing it right or you have different sexual tastes and that's fine. But your statement is an opinion, not fact

There's nothing girly about same man on man action. Two athletic men grunting and gritting their teeth through any pain sounds manly as fuck. Dominating another man and using him takes a lot more masculinity tbh

I didn't say it was girly.. -_-

Keith_Valentine posted...

I didn't say it was girly.. -_-

All I'm saying is that a lumberjack and a fireman having hot, sweaty sex straight after work is about as masculine as it can possibly get when it comes to sex.
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Keith_Valentine posted...

SmidgeIsntBack posted...

Scared of being treated the way they themselves treat women.

This. Don't roll up on me like you're going to fuck me. And yea, as a straight man, I'd wonder why a gay man would assume id be open to his advance. Do I look gay? No. If I wanted you, id come to you.

Not scared so much as kinda annoyed. Like if someone came up to me and asked if I had meth. Are you saying I look like a tweaker? Similar here, do I look gay?

It not always homophilia, it's masculine pride as well.

LOL. What does gay "look" like?
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Keith_Valentine posted...

You escalated it, tc, when you implied I am a homophobe or unfriendly to gays. Then furthered it by implying I'm sheltered. You disrespected me, I was just discussing your topic

Keith_Valentine posted...

Do I look gay?

You implied that gay people look/act a certain way, and you would displeased if someone thought that you were one of them. I simply said that you are basing your assumption on a stereotypical view of gay people that is largely inaccurate. I am not trying to insult you, but I just want to point out that it is possible to be very traditionally masculine while also being gay. Gay guys hit on other dudes because they are hot, not because they "look gay". It is like how straight guys hit on chicks because they are hot, not because they "look straight".
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Darmik posted...

Keith_Valentine posted...

I didn't say it was girly.. -_-

All I'm saying is that a lumberjack and a fireman having hot, sweaty sex straight after work is about as masculine as it can possibly get when it comes to sex.

Then you probably haven't dominated a woman. It's incredible. Doesn't gay penetration take preparation? I just pull off a girls panties and she's ready cuz were made for each other.

I'm not trashing anyone's lifestyle, but tc seems to have an agenda

Keith_Valentine posted...

Then you probably haven't dominated a woman. It's incredible. Doesn't gay penetration take preparation? I just pull off a girls panties and she's ready cuz were made for each other.

You seem to assume that the only way to be sexual is penetrating a hole.
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Keith_Valentine posted...

Darmik posted...

Keith_Valentine posted...

I didn't say it was girly.. -_-

All I'm saying is that a lumberjack and a fireman having hot, sweaty sex straight after work is about as masculine as it can possibly get when it comes to sex.

Then you probably haven't dominated a woman. It's incredible. Doesn't gay penetration take preparation? I just pull off a girls panties and she's ready cuz were made for each other.

I'm not trashing anyone's lifestyle, but tc seems to have an agenda

But you are.
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CountessRolab posted...

Keith_Valentine posted...

You escalated it, tc, when you implied I am a homophobe or unfriendly to gays. Then furthered it by implying I'm sheltered. You disrespected me, I was just discussing your topic

Keith_Valentine posted...

Do I look gay?

You implied that gay people look/act a certain way, and you would displeased if someone thought that you were one of them. I simply said that you are basing your assumption on a stereotypical view of gay people that is largely inaccurate. I am not trying to insult you, but I just want to point out that it is possible to be very traditionally masculine while also being gay. Gay guys hit on other dudes because they are hot, not because they "look gay". It is like how straight guys hit on chicks because they are hot, not because they "look straight".

Fair. Thank you for explaining your thoughts , I understand you better.

I am speaking as an asshole who sees himself as a ladies man, perhaps we are learning from each other. In my mind, it should be obvious to all I love pussy. This is literally how guys like me think. I'm not mad at the guy or gays at all, it's about me and my status. I have a life too

Keith_Valentine posted...

In my mind, it should be obvious to all I love pussy.

Unless you have it fucking tattooed on your forehead, you're being ridiculous to think that.

Or you're one of those people who talk 24/7 about it, which means that you're terrible.

Either way, you just sound like someone who has something to prove.
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FF_Redux posted...

Keith_Valentine posted...

Then you probably haven't dominated a woman. It's incredible. Doesn't gay penetration take preparation? I just pull off a girls panties and she's ready cuz were made for each other.

You seem to assume that the only way to be sexual is penetrating a hole.

I specifically mentioned penetration , which is what I crave. And what I want, with a woman it is easy

I'm not trashing a gay lifestyle. You don't have to be defensive and rude because I'm different than you, Kajago

Keith_Valentine posted...

Doesn't gay penetration take preparation?

Depends on the person. But if you're talking specifically about anal sex, then yes, preparation is preferred. Yet, it's offset by the fact that it gives males the best orgasm possible.
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_Near_ posted...

Keith_Valentine posted...

In my mind, it should be obvious to all I love pussy.

Unless you have it fucking tattooed on your forehead, you're being ridiculous to think that.

Or you're one of those people who talk 24/7 about it, which means that you're terrible.

Either way, you just sound like someone who has something to prove.

Im being honest. Whatever. Talk 24/7 about what? Pussy? ... no. I make dks3 vids dude, I don't think I'm better than anyone

Keith_Valentine posted...

CountessRolab posted...

Keith_Valentine posted...

You escalated it, tc, when you implied I am a homophobe or unfriendly to gays. Then furthered it by implying I'm sheltered. You disrespected me, I was just discussing your topic

Keith_Valentine posted...

Do I look gay?

You implied that gay people look/act a certain way, and you would displeased if someone thought that you were one of them. I simply said that you are basing your assumption on a stereotypical view of gay people that is largely inaccurate. I am not trying to insult you, but I just want to point out that it is possible to be very traditionally masculine while also being gay. Gay guys hit on other dudes because they are hot, not because they "look gay". It is like how straight guys hit on chicks because they are hot, not because they "look straight".

Fair. Thank you for explaining your thoughts , I understand you better.

I am speaking as an asshole who sees himself as a ladies man, perhaps we are learning from each other. In my mind, it should be obvious to all I love pussy. This is literally how guys like me think. I'm not mad at the guy or gays at all, it's about me and my status. I have a life too

Yeah, I get that. Some people like dicks, some dont--but at the end of the day, it has pretty minimal impact on other aspects of your behavior. When chicks hit on me, I take it as a compliment. When guys hit on me, I take it as a compliment too.
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Keith_Valentine posted...

Im being honest. Whatever. Talk 24/7 about what? Pussy? ... no. I make dks3 vids dude, I don't think I'm better than anyone

Then I mean, how the hell is someone supposed to know what you're attracted to?
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I get that. Your topic was about, you not understanding why some men may get upset at being approached by gay men. I participated because I can contribute a new viewpoint. No hard feels, fren

I don't get it either. Gay guys that compliment me are a boost to my ego.

I didn't make the topic. I think it's just a bit weird to assume that it's "obvious" to people that you like pussy - like it's a big sign following you around.
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_Near_ posted...

Keith_Valentine posted...

Im being honest. Whatever. Talk 24/7 about what? Pussy? ... no. I make dks3 vids dude, I don't think I'm better than anyone

Then I mean, how the hell is someone supposed to know what you're attracted to?

Because men that think 'alpha' assume their overwhelming sexuality is obvious, and a majority of men lust for women. I realize more and more men are enjoying a gay lifestyle, but realize there is a place for old fashioned men who only want women and we have our own opinions. A man wanting to have sex with me is more like a dominance gesture than an act of love to me. Since i don't want him that way, he is looking at me the way I look at a woman. And I don't like that

CountessRolab posted...

It is a compliment. If you arent interested, just say so. It isnt a big deal.

I have never understood why some women get upset when straight guys hit on them.

It is a compliment. If you arent interested, just say so. It isnt a big deal.

Yep, I agree, TC! I wonder if those women are just insecure or maybe heterophobic.
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Lorenzo_2003 posted...

CountessRolab posted...

It is a compliment. If you arent interested, just say so. It isnt a big deal.

I have never understood why some women get upset when straight guys hit on them.

It is a compliment. If you arent interested, just say so. It isnt a big deal.

Yep, I agree, TC! I wonder if those women are just insecure or maybe heterophobic.

Not sure what point you are trying to make. As long as a guy is respectful and can take no for an answer, then there is no reason to be offended in either scenario.
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Eh, I've never been too happy when people I'm not into start hitting on me. It's just kind of awkward.
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Keith_Valentine posted...

Because men that think 'alpha' assume their overwhelming sexuality is obvious,

Well, that's a misguided thought process. And if you share in it, you should change it because it's an extremely ridiculous assumption to make. Actually, the more work you put into thinking "alpha", the more people think you have something to compensate for. Meaning, some will likely think that you're secretly gay.



Keith_Valentine posted...

A man wanting to have sex with me is more like a dominance gesture than an act of love to me. Since i don't want him that way, he is looking at me the way I look at a woman. And I don't like that

Yeah, that's exactly the kind of behavior that someone mentioned it this topic before. If you don't like to be looked at the way you look at women, then you look at women wrong. And that same discomfort that you feel, multiple women have felt many more times, and to a much higher degree.
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Keith_Valentine posted...

A man wanting to have sex with me is more like a dominance gesture than an act of love to me.

You know surprisingly little about gay culture.

It's not all "I'mma stick my dick in your WHATEVER I WANT."

It's as nuanced as any sexuality.

Also, my closest gay friend is a heavily tattooed mechanic who could kick my ass and the ass of the three people I brought with me. Sometimes gay kids learn how to defend themselves, and they grow into gay badasses.

Irrelevant to the post I quoted, relevant to the topic itself.
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