Current Events > anyone who has been diagnosed with clinical depression.. can you describe what

(+) Yeah! (+)

your daily life is like?

i dont want to talk about it

Depressing.
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I wake up, go to work, get some stuff done (not as much as I'd like), sometimes get nothing done, get disillusioned either way, spend too much time on CE, wonder if I'm gonna get fired, thibk briefly about suicide, go home, generally feel better once leaving work.
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Muffled. That word makes sense to me, anyway. Go about my day trying to act normal, smile, laugh, if I don't, people question me, and I detest talking about it. I don't care about much at all about anything, people or hobbies, there's no spark or joy in it. Prefer to sleep just to pass the time and take a break from myself. More often than not it also involves a lot of suicidal thoughts. Then the depression will pass after a while and it feels like I'm breathing again for the first time in a long time, and I feel like two different people. To the point where I've left notes for myself to read while depressed.
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Leanaunfurled posted...

To the point where I've left notes for myself to read while depressed.

Shit that's a good idea, i'm gonna steal it. I hate how one day i can be happy and the next day i'll be contemplating downing a bottle of sleeping pills or something. I would never actually do it though since i have a kid.
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yes I had it diagnosed,
but it improved.


when it was bad, you felt hopeless, sad often, sometimes suicidal.
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Boring and pointless.
Leana's description fits pretty well, actually. Muffled seems like an accurate description of how things feel imo.
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You go through the motions and don't really feel much. People get the idea that depression means you're always sad, but it's more a feeling of constant apathy broken up by intense sadness.

Trigg3rH4ppy posted...

Leanaunfurled posted...

To the point where I've left notes for myself to read while depressed.

Shit that's a good idea, i'm gonna steal it. I hate how one day i can be happy and the next day i'll be contemplating downing a bottle of sleeping pills or something. I would never actually do it though since i have a kid.

Yeah, I've probably mentioned it many times on this board in the past, but one of the best bits of advice I've gotten from someone on this board is to have a hobby where you create things in your good moments so you have something tangible to comfort yourself when you're feeling awful.
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Happened to me about a year ago, but it was a symptom of being burned out at work and having to take the responsibilities of two people by myself. I was literally working weeks and weekends, something like 80 hours per week and making very little money, all with the constant pressure of clients demanding unrealistic things

When I quit the office the depression went away very fast
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When I was in the middle of a major depressive episode, my general way of coping was planning how I would kill myself. Not planning to actually do it, but researching and figuring out how I would. This helped because I could just tell myself that no matter how bad it gets, there's a viable way out. It certainly helped me through it, but it's possibly the most unhealthy way to do it that other than getting addicted to heroin or something.
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I struggle financially, finding work, etc. I live a decent life for a 20 year old kid I guess. Sometimes, especially after I feel like I've nailed an interview for a good job and don't get it, I find myself thinking, just briefly;

Maybe I should just die, I'd be better off. My parents wouldn't have to keep helping me, they'd be better off too. When I think about it, I don't feel sad though. It's just a brief thought, then I go on living.

Is that depression?
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i felt horrible, no words can describe it. but once i cut off bad food and sugar it went away along with the anxiety.
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Wake up, take meds, go to classes/work, hang with friends or game, take meds, chill, sleep. Meds have helped a lot. Sometimes, it spikes. During those points in time, I feel as if everything is hopeless and I feel empty inside. Almost hollow. I can't connect to people well, yet I crave to not be so alone and so miserable. I push people away and spend a lot of time by myself. I get extremely anxious and irritable, leading me to lash out at friends who don't deserve it. I also lose interest in my hobbies and each day feels like a chore. However, this happens maybe once every few months.
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