Current Events > I see a therapist twice a week for the last few months and I'm still not better

(+) Yeah! (+)

I'm so depressed and lonely it's pretty scary that I won't ever get better.

Also I am already on medication.
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Are you guarded while at the therapist or do you go in completely open/open up as the session progresses?
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Therapy and medication don't always help. So don't feel bad about that.

You have to find some kind of purpose in your life.
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Shrinks are a scam
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byron posted...

And how does that make you feel?

But seriously, what does he/she have you doing to get better?

The question is, is Joe actually doing anything to get better, or is he, yet again, expecting others to do all the work for him?

EDIT : of course he's doing nothing and expecting others to do all the work
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NOM posted...

Are you guarded while at the therapist or do you go in completely open/open up as the session progresses?

I spent enough time in my earlier years being guarded I'm 100% open with him.

Tanoomba posted...

Therapy and medication don't always help. So don't feel bad about that.

You have to find some kind of purpose in your life.

I totally agree that I need purpose, without a job, major hobbies, or a social life I do really lack that, I've just been in a rut for a while such that escaping the rut to a place where I have purpose has proven very difficult.

Specifically I have "learned helplessness". I also had a bit of an epiphany recently that I had very bad anxiety and to combat that I often go into phases of feeling sorry for myself, because with bad anxiety your failures provide a comfort to feeling sorry for yourself, but they provide obstacles to self improvement, so I just really want to go back to feeling sorry for myself whenever the severe anxiety or bad feelings come up, and they do often.
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stone posted...

byron posted...

And how does that make you feel?

But seriously, what does he/she have you doing to get better?

The question is, is Joe actually doing anything to get better, or is he, yet again, expecting others to do all the work for him?

EDIT : of course he's doing nothing and expecting others to do all the work

You can stalk and heckle me in any other topic, but in topics where I'm talking about my mental health I would really prefer to keep the discussion serious and unpoluted with cynicism, you don't have to participate but if you do please do not post things like this. There are ample amounts of times to be negative towards me, topics like these are not appropriate times, thank you.
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It's gonna take longer than a few months, but honestly I feel like

GOATSLAYER posted...

Shrinks are a scam

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joe40001 posted...

stone posted...

byron posted...

And how does that make you feel?

But seriously, what does he/she have you doing to get better?

The question is, is Joe actually doing anything to get better, or is he, yet again, expecting others to do all the work for him?

EDIT : of course he's doing nothing and expecting others to do all the work

You can stalk and heckle me in any other topic, but in topics where I'm talking about my mental health I would really prefer to keep the discussion serious and unpoluted with cynicism, you don't have to participate but if you do please do not post things like this. There are ample amounts of times to be negative towards me, topics like these are not appropriate times, thank you.

Fine, but honestly if you're not feeling better after 2 sessions a week for a few months, maybe see a different one. The one I've seen in the past helped a lot and I've only needed to see her once a month for a handful of months (but it was for different issues than yours so I didn't really need it that often)
Edit : oh and I'm not stalking you, just happened to see the topic while checking the recent ones. I don't check past the first page of active topics.
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stone posted...

joe40001 posted...

stone posted...

byron posted...

And how does that make you feel?

But seriously, what does he/she have you doing to get better?

The question is, is Joe actually doing anything to get better, or is he, yet again, expecting others to do all the work for him?

EDIT : of course he's doing nothing and expecting others to do all the work

You can stalk and heckle me in any other topic, but in topics where I'm talking about my mental health I would really prefer to keep the discussion serious and unpoluted with cynicism, you don't have to participate but if you do please do not post things like this. There are ample amounts of times to be negative towards me, topics like these are not appropriate times, thank you.

Fine, but honestly if you're not feeling better after 2 sessions a week for a few months, maybe see a different one. The one I've seen in the past helped a lot and I've only needed to see her once a month for a handful of months (but it was for different issues than yours so I didn't really need it that often)
Edit : oh and I'm not stalking you, just happened to see the topic while checking the recent ones. I don't check past the first page of active topics.

I feel like we are making progress but I've got some pretty bad and chronic conditions.
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Are you religious, or do you have spiritual beliefs, TC? Sometimes it helps to educate yourself on the idea that there is more to existence than our current reality. I realize its not for everyone, but suffering is a common element of our humanity. Why we suffer, and how as individuals, understanding that may help you understand your situation.
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joe40001 posted...

stone posted...

joe40001 posted...

stone posted...

byron posted...

And how does that make you feel?

But seriously, what does he/she have you doing to get better?

The question is, is Joe actually doing anything to get better, or is he, yet again, expecting others to do all the work for him?

EDIT : of course he's doing nothing and expecting others to do all the work

You can stalk and heckle me in any other topic, but in topics where I'm talking about my mental health I would really prefer to keep the discussion serious and unpoluted with cynicism, you don't have to participate but if you do please do not post things like this. There are ample amounts of times to be negative towards me, topics like these are not appropriate times, thank you.

Fine, but honestly if you're not feeling better after 2 sessions a week for a few months, maybe see a different one. The one I've seen in the past helped a lot and I've only needed to see her once a month for a handful of months (but it was for different issues than yours so I didn't really need it that often)
Edit : oh and I'm not stalking you, just happened to see the topic while checking the recent ones. I don't check past the first page of active topics.

I feel like we are making progress but I've got some pretty bad and chronic conditions.

Hey.. Progress is good, as slow as it might be. I know that personally, my main problem is finding the motivation to get anything done. I have plenty of time on my hands for everything I want to do, be it chores, reading, gaming, playing guitar, and often I'll just sit on the couch playing around with my phone instead. But I'm aware I'm the problem, no one else. Sometimes I kick myself in the ass and do every chore I've been ignoring. Or beat a 30 hour game in 2 days, or play so much guitar my fingers hurt just looking at them. But yeah, no one can do it for me. I have to be the one to do it.
Same with you. Seeing someone helps, I've been there. But ultimately, only you can help yourself. You're good at what you do, when you do it. But in that, you're a bit like me. No motivation to actually do it. I know you like writing comedy, but you'd like people to like it right away. You're decent at programming and can make games, but you want to make a profit right away. You have to start somewhere. I'm decent with my guitar. I know nothing of the theory but with I can still play songs and enjoy myself. I could be way better than I am right now if I had practice more through the nearly 20 years I've played, but since I haven't put the effort, I'm the one to blame for it.
But seriously, you're not a bad person, aside from those "woe is me" topics, you seem like a nice guy.. You just have to give yourself more credit, and be patient. Not everything you do is doing to turn up being positive. Heck, you like comedy. Look at Adam Sandlers.. His latest stuff sucks. Doesn't stop him from doing what he likes. (and I'm sure his early stuff before he was well known sucked as well)

EDIT : oh and by the way.. For your conditions... Don't be shy about using medication of they prescribe it to you... It's for your own good. My mom's bipolar, and she's way better to be around since she got her meds... Took a while to get the dosage right, but even then, it was a big change right at first.
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How long have you been depressed for?

And how long have you been actively working on fixing it?

It can take years and years to get out of depression if you ever do.
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Focus on the progress you have made, even seeing a therapist is a big step. I'm sure you've overcome things or maybe some things have become easier for you and you just don't see it. When you have anxiety and depression that bad the little accomplishments are gold and you should remind yourself of it often. I bet you are doing great tc, even if it doesn't feel like it. I've been there and it's hard to see or care about any positives because of the focus on the negative or the fact that you just want to magically be better and you're tired of waiting, it takes time.

Some people are more prone to suffering. Genetic make up, chemical difference, life, whatever you want to blame it on.

I'm almost convinced that certain people will never truly get better. They'll always have a looming cloud of darkness following them, no matter how medicated they are or how many 10 step programs they follow.

I'm not a religious person, but I've witnessed people respond to that option when most everything else failed.

Maybe it filled some kind of void that they're life was missing, or maybe it was just an extreme placebo effect.
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stone posted...

joe40001 posted...

I feel like we are making progress but I've got some pretty bad and chronic conditions.

Hey.. Progress is good, as slow as it might be. I know that personally, my main problem is finding the motivation to get anything done. I have plenty of time on my hands for everything I want to do, be it chores, reading, gaming, playing guitar, and often I'll just sit on the couch playing around with my phone instead. But I'm aware I'm the problem, no one else. Sometimes I kick myself in the ass and do every chore I've been ignoring. Or beat a 30 hour game in 2 days, or play so much guitar my fingers hurt just looking at them. But yeah, no one can do it for me. I have to be the one to do it.
Same with you. Seeing someone helps, I've been there. But ultimately, only you can help yourself. You're good at what you do, when you do it. But in that, you're a bit like me. No motivation to actually do it. I know you like writing comedy, but you'd like people to like it right away. You're decent at programming and can make games, but you want to make a profit right away. You have to start somewhere. I'm decent with my guitar. I know nothing of the theory but with I can still play songs and enjoy myself. I could be way better than I am right now if I had practice more through the nearly 20 years I've played, but since I haven't put the effort, I'm the one to blame for it.
But seriously, you're not a bad person, aside from those "woe is me" topics, you seem like a nice guy.. You just have to give yourself more credit, and be patient. Not everything you do is doing to turn up being positive. Heck, you like comedy. Look at Adam Sandlers.. His latest stuff sucks. Doesn't stop him from doing what he likes. (and I'm sure his early stuff before he was well known sucked as well)

EDIT : oh and by the way.. For your conditions... Don't be shy about using medication of they prescribe it to you... It's for your own good. My mom's bipolar, and she's way better to be around since she got her meds... Took a while to get the dosage right, but even then, it was a big change right at first.

Thanks.

Yes there is a big part of it that it just putting in the effort, but part of that is believing the effort has purpose. We don't have to hate ourselves if we fail to find the motivation, hating ourselves for not finding it is just going to make us want to try even less in the future.

I didn't think that game would succeed, I really don't expect anything I do to succeed, which is why finding the motivation to try becomes so difficult. This is a bad thing and a good thing, it's a bad thing because it makes getting better harder, but it's a good thing because it means when you succeed you can ride some of that success momentum.

People habitualize behavior so if you picked up the guitar and played for 1 minute a day eventually just picking up the guitar would have 0 stress associated with it, as it is it is likely that when you pick up the guitar you have to confront the feeling of where you are vs where you want to be as a guitarist whereas when you ignore it you can ignore it.

Recognizing mental hiccups like that are an important way to break free of cycles that make us unhappy or unsatisfied, my problem is despite the awareness of that I've just been so severely depressed for so long that any step feels pointless.
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joe40001 posted...

Thanks.

Yes there is a big part of it that it just putting in the effort, but part of that is believing the effort has purpose. We don't have to hate ourselves if we fail to find the motivation, hating ourselves for not finding it is just going to make us want to try even less in the future.

I didn't think that game would succeed, I really don't expect anything I do to succeed, which is why finding the motivation to try becomes so difficult. This is a bad thing and a good thing, it's a bad thing because it makes getting better harder, but it's a good thing because it means when you succeed you can ride some of that success momentum.

People habitualize behavior so if you picked up the guitar and played for 1 minute a day eventually just picking up the guitar would have 0 stress associated with it, as it is it is likely that when you pick up the guitar you have to confront the feeling of where you are vs where you want to be as a guitarist whereas when you ignore it you can ignore it.

Recognizing mental hiccups like that are an important way to break free of cycles that make us unhappy or unsatisfied, my problem is despite the awareness of that I've just been so severely depressed for so long that any step feels pointless.

Yeah..
I don't know for you, but for me, the hardest part is getting the motivation to get started. Once I've gotten myself to go, I'm good but getting out of bed to get anything done? Ehhhhh.... I've gotten back from weeks off on Monday.. And honestly? There's hardly a day I've gotten out of bed past noon, just because I didn't care.. If I had, I'd have gotten so much more done. Heck, I did get up earlier for more important things once or twice during that break, and I was much more productive. But... It's like getting up in the morning for work.. I never feel like it every day. But once I'm up, and it off the shower? I'm good for the whole day.
Kick yourself in the ass. Find people around you to kick you if you need. It's like going to the gym. Going alone sucks. Going with someone? Worth it, because you both dépend on each other to go! If one gives up the other one will a well. I know, dépend of mine I used to work out work with needed to stay home with his pregnant wife, and yeah, I went less and less... Once I was there though? I did it all til the end!
Just get yourself started!
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stone posted...

joe40001 posted...

Thanks.

Yes there is a big part of it that it just putting in the effort, but part of that is believing the effort has purpose. We don't have to hate ourselves if we fail to find the motivation, hating ourselves for not finding it is just going to make us want to try even less in the future.

I didn't think that game would succeed, I really don't expect anything I do to succeed, which is why finding the motivation to try becomes so difficult. This is a bad thing and a good thing, it's a bad thing because it makes getting better harder, but it's a good thing because it means when you succeed you can ride some of that success momentum.

People habitualize behavior so if you picked up the guitar and played for 1 minute a day eventually just picking up the guitar would have 0 stress associated with it, as it is it is likely that when you pick up the guitar you have to confront the feeling of where you are vs where you want to be as a guitarist whereas when you ignore it you can ignore it.

Recognizing mental hiccups like that are an important way to break free of cycles that make us unhappy or unsatisfied, my problem is despite the awareness of that I've just been so severely depressed for so long that any step feels pointless.

Yeah..
I don't know for you, but for me, the hardest part is getting the motivation to get started. Once I've gotten myself to go, I'm good but getting out of bed to get anything done? Ehhhhh.... I've gotten back from weeks off on Monday.. And honestly? There's hardly a day I've gotten out of bed past noon, just because I didn't care.. If I had, I'd have gotten so much more done. Heck, I did get up earlier for more important things once or twice during that break, and I was much more productive. But... It's like getting up in the morning for work.. I never feel like it every day. But once I'm up, and it off the shower? I'm good for the whole day.
Kick yourself in the ass. Find people around you to kick you if you need. It's like going to the gym. Going alone sucks. Going with someone? Worth it, because you both dépend on each other to go! If one gives up the other one will a well. I know, dépend of mine I used to work out work with needed to stay home with his pregnant wife, and yeah, I went less and less... Once I was there though? I did it all til the end!
Just get yourself started!

Yeah, because I haven't found a job I've had a long time of the unproductive days you are talking about and it can get pretty depressing.

I like your attitude, it is about getting started, that and believing there is hope enough that trying will be worth it.
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https://goo.gl/CG7QtW

Therapy and medication didn't help me either. I feel like a better therapist might be handy, but I don't really feel like trying again.
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joe40001 posted...

stone posted...

joe40001 posted...

Thanks.

Yes there is a big part of it that it just putting in the effort, but part of that is believing the effort has purpose. We don't have to hate ourselves if we fail to find the motivation, hating ourselves for not finding it is just going to make us want to try even less in the future.

I didn't think that game would succeed, I really don't expect anything I do to succeed, which is why finding the motivation to try becomes so difficult. This is a bad thing and a good thing, it's a bad thing because it makes getting better harder, but it's a good thing because it means when you succeed you can ride some of that success momentum.

People habitualize behavior so if you picked up the guitar and played for 1 minute a day eventually just picking up the guitar would have 0 stress associated with it, as it is it is likely that when you pick up the guitar you have to confront the feeling of where you are vs where you want to be as a guitarist whereas when you ignore it you can ignore it.

Recognizing mental hiccups like that are an important way to break free of cycles that make us unhappy or unsatisfied, my problem is despite the awareness of that I've just been so severely depressed for so long that any step feels pointless.

Yeah..
I don't know for you, but for me, the hardest part is getting the motivation to get started. Once I've gotten myself to go, I'm good but getting out of bed to get anything done? Ehhhhh.... I've gotten back from weeks off on Monday.. And honestly? There's hardly a day I've gotten out of bed past noon, just because I didn't care.. If I had, I'd have gotten so much more done. Heck, I did get up earlier for more important things once or twice during that break, and I was much more productive. But... It's like getting up in the morning for work.. I never feel like it every day. But once I'm up, and it off the shower? I'm good for the whole day.
Kick yourself in the ass. Find people around you to kick you if you need. It's like going to the gym. Going alone sucks. Going with someone? Worth it, because you both dépend on each other to go! If one gives up the other one will a well. I know, dépend of mine I used to work out work with needed to stay home with his pregnant wife, and yeah, I went less and less... Once I was there though? I did it all til the end!
Just get yourself started!

Yeah, because I haven't found a job I've had a long time of the unproductive days you are talking about and it can get pretty depressing.

I like your attitude, it is about getting started, that and believing there is hope enough that trying will be worth it.

Don't give up..
I usually only take 2 weeks off at a time because o get so bored.. This year I took 3,I really needed it honestly.. But barely did anything in the last 2 weeks. Had plenty of time.. But sometimes I'd get up past 5 or 6 pm.. And not because I went to bed late, just because I didn't feel like getting up and just rolled over in bed.
For me, motivation is my worst enemy. Or lack of motivation. Maybe I'll ask my doc about meds against it next time. But at least I know what my problem is.you have to figure out what yours is.
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Have you tried walking? Seriously, you can even make it fun if you try.
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Man the fuck up.