Current Events > Kid rapes his little cousin. How should a family handle something like this?

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3khc
07/03/17 6:24:54 PM
#1:


Like is he a piece of shit for the rest of his life? Is the family horrible for turning a blind eye? Are they horrible for raising someone that would do this in the first place? Why would they allow this person to come around anymore?

I don't mean to offend anyone in this situation. It's just I met someone who this happened to and it's just so mind boggling to me that cuz family is supposed to protect each other. This goes against all that I know.
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ThePrinceFish
07/03/17 6:25:55 PM
#2:


Response varies depending on how old each party is. Need more information.
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frozenshock
07/03/17 6:26:21 PM
#3:


Force the kid to marry his cousin?
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Mernardi
07/03/17 6:26:57 PM
#4:


He should be tried and sentenced to jail/juvie.
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Danger_Close
07/03/17 6:28:31 PM
#5:


3khc posted...
Like is he a piece of shit for the rest of his life?

yes
3khc posted...
Is the family horrible for turning a blind eye?

yes
3khc posted...
Are they horrible for raising someone that would do this in the first place?

maybe, but some people are just born awful
3khc posted...
Why would they allow this person to come around anymore?

no idea
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Volkswagen_Bros
07/03/17 6:28:56 PM
#6:


Depends on how old this kid is. If they're old enough to morally understand that what they did was wrong, then yes, they're a piece of shit and should suffer for it.
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Paragon21XX
07/03/17 6:29:29 PM
#7:


Send the kid to military school or juvvie, then send him to live with relatives that his cousins won't ever visit.
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3khc
07/03/17 6:31:12 PM
#8:


ThePrinceFish posted...
Response varies depending on how old each party is. Need more information.

I believe the rapist was around 14yo. Give or take a few years. Victim would be ~6 or 7. TBQH, I didn't really ask details.


frozenshock posted...
Force the kid to marry his cousin?


.... Why?

Mernardi posted...
He should be tried and sentenced to jail/juvie.

Thing is, it was never revealed until they were both adults. Victim had a sudden breakdown. I guess repressed memories or denial. Idk.
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Mernardi
07/03/17 6:32:40 PM
#9:


Well sounds like the parents fucked up. They should have had the kid pay for his crime.
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ThePrinceFish
07/03/17 6:33:50 PM
#10:


3khc posted...
I believe the rapist was around 14yo. Give or take a few years. Victim would be ~6 or 7. TBQH, I didn't really ask details.

Family shouldn't have turned a blind eye then. Very sick and hopefully he ended up getting himself help as he grew up.
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VaniIIa Coke
07/03/17 6:33:57 PM
#11:


There's no way things should be done, no rules, just situations and people handling them to the best of their current ability
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3khc
07/03/17 6:39:53 PM
#12:


Volkswagen_Bros posted...
Depends on how old this kid is. If they're old enough to morally understand that what they did was wrong, then yes, they're a piece of shit and should suffer for it.

What gets me is that he still comes around the family functions. Now being the outsider, perhaps I just haven't seen their family administer punishment. But o feel like I'm the only one who is angry at the rapist. And in turn, it makes me angry at their family in general. And that's when I began to ask myself why do they seem so chill with it?

I mean I know he is still family and I know he was a kid, but ugh. Still want to beat the shit out of him. I understand now why convicts beat up molestors.

Paragon21XX posted...
Send the kid to military school or juvvie, then send him to live with relatives that his cousins won't ever visit.

If anyone would take him. Would you trust a rapist in your home? Even if he were family?

Mernardi posted...
Well sounds like the parents fucked up. They should have had the kid pay for his crime.

I wonder if his parents even spoke to him about it when this revelation came up. If they did, they didn't do a good job of punishing him.
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3khc
07/03/17 6:41:25 PM
#13:


ThePrinceFish posted...
3khc posted...
I believe the rapist was around 14yo. Give or take a few years. Victim would be ~6 or 7. TBQH, I didn't really ask details.

Family shouldn't have turned a blind eye then. Very sick and hopefully he ended up getting himself help as he grew up.

Well, like I said, these events didn't come to light until they were both adults.

VaniIIa Coke posted...
There's no way things should be done, no rules, just situations and people handling them to the best of their current ability

True. I can barely fathom how this situation is even possible. Much less how I'd handle it if it were my family.
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#14
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Anteaterking
07/03/17 6:43:37 PM
#15:


3khc posted...
I wonder if his parents even spoke to him about it when this revelation came up. If they did, they didn't do a good job of punishing him.

???
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3khc
07/03/17 6:46:31 PM
#16:


leverageblargh posted...
If all these family members know and are not only doing anything about it but still on good terms with the guy, they're garbage people too and the victim needs to realize that and focus on getting out from under these toxic people.

See idk if they had a fam meeting or something, but yeah they seem on good terms. Out least on the outside.

Even the victim also seems to want to forgive. I'm like... Why?

I mean... I guess I know why. She wants the family to be happy. Maybe she also believes he just made a mistake. But I was there for that nervous breakdown. There is no way this is NOT still affecting her.
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3khc
07/03/17 6:47:38 PM
#17:


Anteaterking posted...
3khc posted...
I wonder if his parents even spoke to him about it when this revelation came up. If they did, they didn't do a good job of punishing him.

???

I wonder if his parents told him about how his little cousin came out with rape accusations. If they did, it does not look like it affected him at all.
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Tezlok
07/03/17 6:50:40 PM
#18:


reminds me of a Friends fanfic I saw once. Ross rapes Monica, and then all the friends and their family take Ross's side for some reason and blame Monica and she gets all mad and depressed
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TheCurseX2
07/03/17 6:51:21 PM
#19:


Kick the absolute shit out of him. Make his adult teeth come in early.
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3khc
07/03/17 6:53:24 PM
#20:


Tezlok posted...
reminds me of a Friends fanfic I saw once. Ross rapes Monica, and then all the friends and their family take Ross's side for some reason and blame Monica and she gets all mad and depressed

Stahp

TheCurseX2 posted...
Kick the absolute shit out of him. Make his adult teeth come in early.

Is it my place to do so? I'm sure his family would back him up still anyway.
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#21
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3khc
07/03/17 6:59:29 PM
#22:


leverageblargh posted...
The victim's obviously not gonna make rational decisions regarding this because her judgement's been compromised.

14 is old enough to know that an act like that is straight up evil unless you've been brainwashed to believe otherwise.

What's stopping the rapist from doing it to anyone else?

What if he's done it to other children?

You are right. I was actually looking into news articles with similar situations. The rapists are often looking at adult prison sentences. My mind has a bit more clarity now. If I ever see this fucker again, I'm telling him straight up to stay away from me or I'm swinging. And that warning is only out of respect for the victim who, for whatever reason, is trying to forgive and forget.
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DocileOrangeCup
07/03/17 7:01:17 PM
#23:


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Drpooplol
07/03/17 7:01:21 PM
#24:


leverageblargh posted...
14 is old enough to know that an act like that is straight up evil unless you've been brainwashed to believe otherwise.

this
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tamashii
07/03/17 7:01:35 PM
#25:


Happened to a person I know. He molested his little half brother (he was like 13, brother was like 5). Turned out his step mom's brother had raped him several times when he was younger and the step mom never did anything to stop it. Anyway he got taken away from the rest of his family and raised by his grandmother and received counseling, which was the best thing that could have happened for him. He's pretty normal now, got a girlfriend and a kid on the way. The little brother is doing ok too. Still a shit thing to have happened.
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#26
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#27
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DesuDeku
07/03/17 7:03:44 PM
#28:


Tezlok posted...
reminds me of a Friends fanfic I saw once. Ross rapes Monica, and then all the friends and their family take Ross's side for some reason and blame Monica and she gets all mad and depressed

wtf!?
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#29
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DocileOrangeCup
07/03/17 7:04:21 PM
#30:


Conflict posted...
fenderbender321 posted...
If my son did that, I would make him look his cousin in the eye and apologize. Also, no TV for 2 and a half weeks, and a 1 month ban on seeing his little cousin again.


No TV for two weeks for committing a traumatizing crime. Really laying the smack down on him with that punishment.

hes jokin dude
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#31
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DocileOrangeCup
07/03/17 7:08:01 PM
#32:


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3khc
07/03/17 7:09:43 PM
#33:


DocileOrangeCup posted...
was it legit forced rape or did he just trick her into doing it or something?

I do not know and I don't want to know or ask or think about it.

tamashii posted...
Happened to a person I know. He molested his little half brother (he was like 13, brother was like 5). Turned out his step mom's brother had raped him several times when he was younger and the step mom never did anything to stop it. Anyway he got taken away from the rest of his family and raised by his grandmother and received counseling, which was the best thing that could have happened for him. He's pretty normal now, got a girlfriend and a kid on the way. The little brother is doing ok too. Still a shit thing to have happened.

To clarify, 13 year old boy was raped by his step-uncle. 13 year old boy, in turn, molested his 5 year old brother. 13 year old boy was sent to live with grandma and he turned out okay. Question tho, how/when did they find out?

Conflict posted...
3khc posted...
Are they horrible for raising someone that would do this in the first place?


It's honestly pretty difficult to judge the parents for bad shit their kids do unless you outright witness it yourself.

From what I'm hearing, I wouldn't be surprised if other family members started it with him.
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ChainedRedone
07/03/17 7:12:12 PM
#34:


Conflict posted...
fenderbender321 posted...
If my son did that, I would make him look his cousin in the eye and apologize. Also, no TV for 2 and a half weeks, and a 1 month ban on seeing his little cousin again.


No TV for two weeks for committing a traumatizing crime. Really laying the smack down on him with that punishment.


To be fair, he said two and a half weeks. And that is significant being that it is a 25% harsher punishment than what you said.
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#35
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TheCurseX2
07/03/17 7:16:31 PM
#36:


3khc posted...
Is it my place to do so? I'm sure his family would back him up still anyway.


Then beat the shit out of his family too.
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ChainedRedone
07/03/17 7:18:36 PM
#37:


That kid needs to be beaten the shit out of. I agree with CE
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Mist_Turnips
07/03/17 7:19:01 PM
#38:


3khc posted...


I mean I know he is still family and I know he was a kid, but ugh. Still want to beat the shit out of him. I understand now why convicts beat up molestors.

Lmao. Please tell me that this outrages you more than if the dude was a murderer.
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Tezlok
07/03/17 7:19:48 PM
#39:


if you attack him, you will get assault charges. why don't you just stay out of private family business? for all you know, it's been dealt with in their own way. you have no idea about what they did. they might have done something internally and want to keep it in the family. every family has secrets. if even the victim has forgiven then back off and stay away from it. its not your place and your putting your nose in private business
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EnragedSlith
07/03/17 7:20:30 PM
#40:


Danger_Close posted...
3khc posted...
Like is he a piece of shit for the rest of his life?

yes
3khc posted...
Is the family horrible for turning a blind eye?

yes
3khc posted...
Are they horrible for raising someone that would do this in the first place?

maybe, but some people are just born awful
3khc posted...
Why would they allow this person to come around anymore?

no idea

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3khc
07/03/17 7:26:45 PM
#42:


fenderbender321 posted...
It's got to be a tough situation to be the parent. It's an embarrassment and it could really destroy a lot of relationships within the greater family.

Well I'm not seeing it and it kinda irks me.

ChainedRedone posted...
That kid needs to be beaten the shit out of. I agree with CE

Not a kid anymore.

This was long ago.

Mist_Turnips posted...
3khc posted...


I mean I know he is still family and I know he was a kid, but ugh. Still want to beat the shit out of him. I understand now why convicts beat up molestors.

Lmao. Please tell me that this outrages you more than if the dude was a murderer.

I'm not sure I follow, but definitely not liking your tone at all.

Tezlok posted...
if you attack him, you will get assault charges. why don't you just stay out of private family business? for all you know, it's been dealt with in their own way. you have no idea about what they did. they might have done something internally and want to keep it in the family. every family has secrets. if even the victim has forgiven then back off and stay away from it. its not your place and your putting your nose in private business

Never said I was going there looking for trouble. Pretty sure I said the opposite out of respect for those involved.
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tamashii
07/03/17 7:27:40 PM
#43:


3khc posted...

tamashii posted...
Happened to a person I know. He molested his little half brother (he was like 13, brother was like 5). Turned out his step mom's brother had raped him several times when he was younger and the step mom never did anything to stop it. Anyway he got taken away from the rest of his family and raised by his grandmother and received counseling, which was the best thing that could have happened for him. He's pretty normal now, got a girlfriend and a kid on the way. The little brother is doing ok too. Still a shit thing to have happened.

To clarify, 13 year old boy was raped by his step-uncle. 13 year old boy, in turn, molested his 5 year old brother. 13 year old boy was sent to live with grandma and he turned out okay. Question tho, how/when did they find out?

Conflict posted...
3khc posted...
Are they horrible for raising someone that would do this in the first place?


It's honestly pretty difficult to judge the parents for bad shit their kids do unless you outright witness it yourself.

From what I'm hearing, I wouldn't be surprised if other family members started it with him.


Correct. Caught him in the act, I think.
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E32005
07/03/17 7:27:44 PM
#44:


3khc posted...
Like is he a piece of shit for the rest of his life?

not necessarily. though many family members will regard him as such regardless of his rehabilitation.
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EnragedSlith
07/03/17 7:28:29 PM
#45:


E32005 posted...
3khc posted...
Like is he a piece of shit for the rest of his life?

not necessarily. though many family members will regard him as such regardless of his rehabilitation.

Some will. Shit like this tears families apart
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Tezlok
07/03/17 7:31:04 PM
#46:


3khc posted...
Never said I was going there looking for trouble. Pretty sure I said the opposite out of respect for those involved.

you said you would start swinging if you see him and warned him to stay away cause you apparently can't control yourself
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E32005
07/03/17 7:39:02 PM
#47:


EnragedSlith posted...
E32005 posted...
3khc posted...
Like is he a piece of shit for the rest of his life?

not necessarily. though many family members will regard him as such regardless of his rehabilitation.

Some will. Shit like this tears families apart

oh yeah. i would wager the girls parents and sibs wont forgive. I probably wouldnt either.
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3khc
07/03/17 7:39:54 PM
#48:


Tezlok posted...
3khc posted...
Never said I was going there looking for trouble. Pretty sure I said the opposite out of respect for those involved.

you said you would start swinging if you see him and warned him to stay away cause you apparently can't control yourself

Yeah, is that not a fair warning? Maybe I should clarify that he is a wannabe tough guy who tries to punk people who comes to his family parties. As if he was the protector of the family. Some nerve.

So you saying me letting him know I don't like him is me looking for trouble?
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#49
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Sativa_Rose
07/03/17 7:51:24 PM
#50:


That's really messed up. It does seem like that age of around 14-15 or so that there seems to be an uptick in this stuff with young men. Obviously the person who did it is still to blame, but I wonder if this would happen less frequently if society had a more sex positive attitude towards boys this age instead of trying to shame them for or suppress their sexuality, because the parents can't bare the idea that little Johnny has started getting horny.
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HogRiderreturns
07/03/17 7:56:38 PM
#51:


Depends on age and whether it was statutory or forced rape.
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