Poll of the Day > I need to share something that no one may know.

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SushiSquid
06/18/17 2:33:47 AM
#1:


Okay, so my wife and I are camping at a park this weekend. I've had beer and junky food. Tonight I woke up (Its almost 2:30AM right now) in pain and thought I'd have to poop.

So I got out of the tent and started briefly toward the bathrooms. I knew I wouldn't make it. I started toward the forest (we're a campsite right next to woods) and I didn't make that. I got to the edge of the woods and my body hit critical mass. I pulled down my pants and shit right there, then fell over on the ground (not into the shit, thankfully) in pain. I then got up and wandered into the woods, where I unleashed a brown waterfall.

My first poo on the edge of the woods was a massive lump of mostly solid, that fell into a shape not unlike a Coke can that's been smooshed in a little, but larger. This second one was a river of aggression that blasted its way through my ass. Instead of slowly carving over millions of years, it tried forming a canyon tonight. I used a stick to launch all of that mess deeper into the woods. But I'm worried it'll smell tomorrow.

I don't think I can tell anyone about this, not under my actual name. But I have to tell someone. I made my way to the bathrooms and now I'm letting fall whatever else may before I go clean myself up and head back to bed. My wife just texted asking if I'm okay. I think I'll just say, yeah.
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argonautweakend
06/18/17 2:35:29 AM
#2:


bet that evacuation felt good big boy
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#3
Post #3 was unavailable or deleted.
MICHALECOLE
06/18/17 2:36:35 AM
#4:


Tc is probably somebody famous that's why he can't tell anybody

My money is on obama
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Yellow
06/18/17 2:37:36 AM
#5:


Don't stop there

J4pQ6yw
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SushiSquid
06/18/17 2:37:53 AM
#6:


argonautweakend posted...
bet that evacuation felt good big boy

It's probably the most sudden relief I've ever felt.

MICHALECOLE posted...
Tc is probably somebody famous that's why he can't tell anybody

I've been posting on this board for like five years. I ain't famous.
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SushiSquid
06/18/17 2:41:59 AM
#7:


Oh my god. The bathroom has an automatic light that just shut off because I'm in a stall so it doesn't detect me moving. This is poor design.
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MICHALECOLE
06/18/17 2:41:59 AM
#8:


That's exactly what a famous person would say..
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SushiSquid
06/18/17 2:50:37 AM
#9:


I feel like a new man. I'm heading back to the tent to go to sleep. I had to explain to my poor wife through text. She was worried.
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Mead
06/18/17 2:52:00 AM
#10:


Everyone will probably just think a bear did it
---
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mead
"I'm Mary Poppins ya'll!"
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helIy
06/18/17 4:12:27 AM
#11:


honestly, besides the stumbling through the woods with a constant stream of poo juice streaming from your butt, that sounds like a fun time
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You're not the one I want in my bed
I'm not the song you want in your head
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SushiSquid
06/18/17 9:16:59 AM
#12:


Mead posted...
Everyone will probably just think a bear did it

It was about the right size, but I'm not sure that people will think that a bear wiped its ass with McDonald's napkins.
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Sarcasthma
06/18/17 9:26:21 AM
#13:


Maybe that case of Squirt you dropped off will keep the bears away. Or maybe it'll attract them.

I don't understand bears.
---
What's the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom?
A pickpocket snatches your watch.
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BlazeAndBlade
06/18/17 9:28:09 AM
#14:


try camp crystal lake

i here it's great for young adults wanting fun
---
Having a goal is good, but don't let your goal depress you. Goals are meant to inspire.
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SushiSquid
06/18/17 10:16:09 AM
#15:


My wife's parents came by the site (it's not far from where they live) to have breakfast with us. I am so glad to report that it doesn't smell like shit everywhere. I was worried about that. What I did last night had one of the worst smells I've ever endured.
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ChrisHanson24
06/18/17 11:51:13 AM
#16:


did you clean the e-coli off your phone?
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