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SushiSquid 06/18/17 2:33:47 AM #1: |
Okay, so my wife and I are camping at a park this weekend. I've had beer and junky food. Tonight I woke up (Its almost 2:30AM right now) in pain and thought I'd have to poop.
So I got out of the tent and started briefly toward the bathrooms. I knew I wouldn't make it. I started toward the forest (we're a campsite right next to woods) and I didn't make that. I got to the edge of the woods and my body hit critical mass. I pulled down my pants and shit right there, then fell over on the ground (not into the shit, thankfully) in pain. I then got up and wandered into the woods, where I unleashed a brown waterfall. My first poo on the edge of the woods was a massive lump of mostly solid, that fell into a shape not unlike a Coke can that's been smooshed in a little, but larger. This second one was a river of aggression that blasted its way through my ass. Instead of slowly carving over millions of years, it tried forming a canyon tonight. I used a stick to launch all of that mess deeper into the woods. But I'm worried it'll smell tomorrow. I don't think I can tell anyone about this, not under my actual name. But I have to tell someone. I made my way to the bathrooms and now I'm letting fall whatever else may before I go clean myself up and head back to bed. My wife just texted asking if I'm okay. I think I'll just say, yeah. ... Copied to Clipboard!
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argonautweakend 06/18/17 2:35:29 AM #2: |
bet that evacuation felt good big boy
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MICHALECOLE 06/18/17 2:36:35 AM #4: |
Tc is probably somebody famous that's why he can't tell anybody
My money is on obama ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Yellow 06/18/17 2:37:36 AM #5: |
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SushiSquid 06/18/17 2:37:53 AM #6: |
argonautweakend posted...
bet that evacuation felt good big boy It's probably the most sudden relief I've ever felt. MICHALECOLE posted... Tc is probably somebody famous that's why he can't tell anybody I've been posting on this board for like five years. I ain't famous. ... Copied to Clipboard!
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SushiSquid 06/18/17 2:41:59 AM #7: |
Oh my god. The bathroom has an automatic light that just shut off because I'm in a stall so it doesn't detect me moving. This is poor design.
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MICHALECOLE 06/18/17 2:41:59 AM #8: |
That's exactly what a famous person would say..
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SushiSquid 06/18/17 2:50:37 AM #9: |
I feel like a new man. I'm heading back to the tent to go to sleep. I had to explain to my poor wife through text. She was worried.
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Mead 06/18/17 2:52:00 AM #10: |
Everyone will probably just think a bear did it
--- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mead "I'm Mary Poppins ya'll!" ... Copied to Clipboard!
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helIy 06/18/17 4:12:27 AM #11: |
honestly, besides the stumbling through the woods with a constant stream of poo juice streaming from your butt, that sounds like a fun time
--- You're not the one I want in my bed I'm not the song you want in your head ... Copied to Clipboard!
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SushiSquid 06/18/17 9:16:59 AM #12: |
Mead posted...
Everyone will probably just think a bear did it It was about the right size, but I'm not sure that people will think that a bear wiped its ass with McDonald's napkins. ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Sarcasthma 06/18/17 9:26:21 AM #13: |
Maybe that case of Squirt you dropped off will keep the bears away. Or maybe it'll attract them.
I don't understand bears. --- What's the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom? A pickpocket snatches your watch. ... Copied to Clipboard!
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BlazeAndBlade 06/18/17 9:28:09 AM #14: |
try camp crystal lake
i here it's great for young adults wanting fun --- Having a goal is good, but don't let your goal depress you. Goals are meant to inspire. ... Copied to Clipboard!
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SushiSquid 06/18/17 10:16:09 AM #15: |
My wife's parents came by the site (it's not far from where they live) to have breakfast with us. I am so glad to report that it doesn't smell like shit everywhere. I was worried about that. What I did last night had one of the worst smells I've ever endured.
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ChrisHanson24 06/18/17 11:51:13 AM #16: |
did you clean the e-coli off your phone?
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