Current Events > What would you do? Has to deal with a friends relationship and his wife's lies.

(+) Yeah! (+)

So, a guy I've known for a year and has become a close friend is getting screwed by his wife. She is very controlling and is outright lying about money. His wife had become very close with my wife and has been telling her what is happening while she is telling him a different story.

It all has to do with money. She is constantly asking for more and more money claiming it's for her bank account to help build her credit (need to si that here to build your credit). But in reality, all that money is going to her mother. Her mother is a manipulative bitch. They work together and she gives her everything she makes (she's 29). She's also trying to build the credit so she can get a house loan for her mother. The money she asked for today was to pay her mothers rent and truck payments. She told my wife that if she didn't give her money that she would leave him.

I told my wife that I'll take the blame and say that I read her Facebook messenger, she had done it to mine and his convos numerous times, so it's only fair. I really think he needs to know this. He needs to protect himself. Needs to see if she is bluffing on the money part or not. They've also been trying for a baby so I think that is an even bigger reason for why he needs to know. My wife agrees with me on this. She said "she's a very good friend but so is *name*, it's not right what she is doing".

Would you tell him? He's probably my best friend over here. We train Muay Thai together, play a lot of Fifa at my house and generally hang out like 6 days per week (which she hates).
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Get your wife to secretly record their conversations so you'll have some evidence to back up your claims if all else fails. The Facebook messenger plan is a good idea to keep your wife out of it, but if you're going to lose both of them as friends anyway you might as well go scorched earth, and you'll have the launch codes ready with the recordings.

But yeah, I would tell him. Whether that's telling him directly or some other roundabout way depends on the situation, but if I considered him a friend at all I would make sure he finds out somehow.
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Absolutely would tell him.
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SpiralDrift posted...

Get your wife to secretly record their conversations so you'll have some evidence to back up your claims if all else fails. The Facebook messenger plan is a good idea to keep your wife out of it, but if you're going to lose both of them as friends anyway you might as well go scorched earth, and you'll have the launch codes ready with the recordings.

I don't think I'd lose him as a friend. I'll tell him what I've been told based on what she has been saying. He'll either believe me, or he'll think she's telling my wife lies.

She doesn't have voice conversations as they always use messenger but there are text logs.
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Eevee-Trainer posted...

Absolutely would tell him.

Edit: there's a chance you could lose your friendship, but you wouldn't be a friend if you didn't
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That mother will be toxic to their relationship forever. He honestly needs to know and let her go.

nativengine posted...

That mother will be toxic to their relationship forever. He honestly needs to know and let her go.

Myself and another friend have been telling him that for like 10 months. Her mother has too much control over her, he needs to separate them some how or she'll definitely ruin the relationship. Like she is literally pissed at him because of the money (which he did give her). My wife has said the same thing, thinks she has actually brainwashed her. She's 28 years old as well.
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Sounds like a classic case of multi-generational narcissistic personality disorder. The wife is just employing the same tactics that were used on her on her husband. People with NPD are masters of emotional manipulation.
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I think you need to say something
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kewldude475 posted...

Dunno if you should say anything though, might not be your place to do so. Also he might not even actually care what she's doing with the money

Oh no, he definitely cares. The problem is, he loves and trusts his wife so he believes the bullshit she tells him.
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He's been at my place a few hours now. He hasn't talked to her at all since yesterday. I'm still having a hard time trying to broach the subject.
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He needs to put his foot down and tell her no. If a bitch gonna walk out on me cause I'm not paying her mom's shit then ok.
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Trouble In Thailand!
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