Current Events > Let's talk about Gwyneth Paltrow, and what the fuck is she doing?

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http://nypost.com/2017/06/11/inside-gwyneth-paltrows-ridiculous-goop-summit/

Gwyneth Paltrow’s inaugural health-and-wellness summit on Saturday kicked off just as you’d expect: well-groomed women wearing yoga pants and expensive handbags hooking themselves up to IVs and oxygen tubes in a parking lot, experiences otherwise associated with the glamour of getting triaged at a disaster site.

This is Paltrow’s peculiar gift — or grift — and it was on full display at “In Goop Health,” her day-long event meant to bring her website’s “most requested and shared wellness content to life.” By last week, all 500 tickets, ranging from $500 to $1,500, had sold out; another event is planned for New York City in January.


Here we were instructed that kale, superfood of the millennium, can be extremely dangerous; that vaginal birth is the new breastfeeding (a delivery system for essential nutrients that will determine your child’s fate); that taking one Advil or Aleve “is like swallowing a hand grenade”; that cancer does not exist among wild animals (it does, according to the Wildlife Conservation Society, and at similar rates to humans); and that we Americans are not meant to eat nightshades such as tomatoes and potatoes because “everyone immigrated from Europe, Africa, or Asia” where there are no nightshades — despite the Irish fleeing the Great Potato Famine, tomatoes composing the bulk of the Mediterranean diet for centuries, or France and Belgium’s ongoing quarrel over which nation, 300 years ago, invented French fries.

Also, we should use frog venom to treat burns, bad luck and cancer.

Next up was “The 10-Minute Facelift with Dr. Julius Few,” a room-clearing demonstration in which Few sliced holes in a volunteer’s face. After explaining that his patient was under a local anesthetic, he pushed a threaded needle through his volunteer’s left cheekbone to her lower jaw, then reversed course while tugging tight.

Those who remained groaned and gasped. The doctor was unfazed.

“I do think Gwyneth and I are alike, in that we think the best things in life are simplest,” he said, dabbing up the wounds. “This procedure starts at $3,500 and lasts two to three years.” Few’s quick addendum: Blindness is a potential side effect.
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Lol
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The event was now nearly four hours in, yet there was no break in sight. Instead, we were subjected to another panel discussion: Paltrow interviewing two of her favorite shrinks. Dr. Phil Stutz and Barry Michels explained that we are all mere pawns of something called The Field, which Stutz described as “the invisible force that makes things happen that you can’t do on your own.”

The enemy of The Field, they claim, is Part X: “a devil living inside you, a demon. He wants to f—k you up any way he can.” But by closing our eyes, visualizing what we want and calling on The Universe™ to deliver it, we can have whatever we want. It’s a cynical mash-up of Freud’s personality theory, the Jungian shadow self, comparative mythology and “The Secret,” capped off by Stutz and Michels telling an audience member upset with her boyfriend to wish their problems away.

The 3 o’clock panel was “The Mother Lode,” described as “an exploration of the mother wound and ways to re-parent ourselves.” Dr. Oscar Serrallach, the lone male on the panel, elicited groans when he compared his work on the mother wound to “a reporter in a war zone, [seeing] all this carnage around me.” Dr. Robin Berman claimed that “the word ‘mother’ is transgender.” Dr. Sherry Sami, wife of Paltrow’s first speaker, hit the crowd’s marrow, listing the great stressors of upper-class motherhood: “Pre-school interviews, what camps they should go to — what kind of nanny is going to bring the right consciousness into their life?”


Children are here, Sami continued, to teach their mothers how to be “a great digestive enzyme,” to help their children “metabolize their experiences” while leading the mother towards her “divinity.” Seems a lot for a toddler, but the crowd loved it.


TlDR:

Holy shit, Paltrow is a fucking cult leader.
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i've always hated that stupid bitch
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Man you must really have nothing to go around finding this news and to paste all that :D !

Also lol I can see why she was booted off the mcu now.
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Doom_Art posted...

i've always hated that stupid bitch

yeah shes fucking insane lol
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hollywood elites tend to be basically insane yes
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saspa posted...

Man you must really have nothing to go around finding this news and to paste all that :D !

Also lol I can see why she was booted off the mcu now.

wat, I found out about it on twitter, literally took me like 2 minutes

also it's funny/scary
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Julius Few sounds like a modern day Walter Freeman, creator of the "icepick lobotomy."
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Vain Hollywood idiot thinks they have the answers to life that no one else does. Shocking.
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Vyrulisse posted...

Vain Hollywood idiot thinks they have the answers to life that no one else does. Shocking.

She makes her other Hollywood idiot friends look bad.

Fun fact, every person at that conference will die
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She went nuts when Brad cheated on her.

Is this the plot of Far Cry 6
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The 3 o’clock panel was “The Mother Lode,” described as “an exploration of the mother wound and ways to re-parent ourselves.” Dr. Oscar Serrallach, the lone male on the panel, elicited groans when he compared his work on the mother wound to “a reporter in a war zone, [seeing] all this carnage around me.” Dr. Robin Berman claimed that “the word ‘mother’ is transgender.” Dr. Sherry Sami, wife of Paltrow’s first speaker, hit the crowd’s marrow, listing the great stressors of upper-class motherhood: “Pre-school interviews, what camps they should go to — what kind of nanny is going to bring the right consciousness into their life?”


Children are here, Sami continued, to teach their mothers how to be “a great digestive enzyme,” to help their children “metabolize their experiences” while leading the mother towards her “divinity.” Seems a lot for a toddler, but the crowd loved it.

See, this here is the issue. These nutjobs raise kids, who grow up to be nutty because they were raised in some fantasy world, and then they raise their kids in the same nutjob fantasy world. It just keeps going and going.