Current Events > Gathering my courage for the past hour or so

(+) Yeah! (+)

I've been talking for a week with this girl in OKCupid, I think it can work. I want to ask her if she wants to go for a coffee next week.


I've never had a date in my life. I'm basically scared ****less of pressing the send button.


Yay selfconfidence.
---

Do it, fam.
---

First ones always tough, it gets easier brosephellio

I hope she rejects you so realize it's not that bad
---

Kazi1212 posted...

I hope she rejects you so realize it's not that bad

That would break the tiny selfconfidence I have on myself after having the first 5+ message conversation with a girl ever. So I kind of hope she doesn't.
---

Back in my day we asked girls in person for their number and then called over the phone. Now that's nerve wracking.
---

Just statistically speaking, the odds aren't in your favor. Don't let it mean too much if you can.
---

Tell her you'll gift her games on steam too. ~_^

Go for it, Arch...you can doooo eeeeeet.
---

CapnMuffin posted...

Back in my day we asked girls in person for their number and then called over the phone. Now that's nerve wracking.

Good point, if this works I should ask that.

Her name may also be nice.

MorbidFaithless posted...

Just statistically speaking, the odds aren't in your favor. Don't let it mean too much if you can.

Well, my main hope is the fact that she sent me the first message without me even visiting her profile. But yeah, even if I royally screw up somewhere in the way I'll get enough experience to get a couple level ups.
---

ArchangelBaruch posted...

Her name may also be nice.

plz be joking.
---

sylverlolol posted...

Tell her you'll gift her games on steam too. ~_^

Go for it, Arch...you can doooo eeeeeet.

I intend to give her a copy Bad Rats Collectors Edition Metalbox before even saying hello. Boom date over, flawless victory.
---

For future reference, don't ask.

Say stuff like it's already planned.

Do you wanna go and grab some coffee sometime? < Looking forward to you accompanying me for a cup coffee.

If you don't do it, you will regret it the rest of your life. Trust me, regrets way a lot more than embarrassing moments of being turned down. Not only that, but she wouldn't be talking to you, on a dating app, for a week, if she had no interest in going on a date. Just be casual, play it cool, don't act desperate, and don't act like she owes it to you. You will be fine.

If she's talking to you on OKCupid she'll probably say yes
---

juicebox4 posted...

ArchangelBaruch posted...

Her name may also be nice.

plz be joking.

...I've written my name in my profile, cause I saw it in another girl's profile and found it nice. Which explains why she hasn't asked.

I didn't think about it at the beginning, and it looked kind of awkward to drop that question in the middle of the conversation. So I'll ask before we meet up.
---

lol fair enough.
---

Albel-Nox posted...

For future reference, don't ask.

Say stuff like it's already planned.

Do you wanna go and grab some coffee sometime? < Looking forward to you accompanying me for a cup coffee.

I thought about doing that. But it comes out as really pushy, which I'm totally not in real life. It's already difficult to go in the dating world by being myself to add a persona on top of it.

Dash_Harber posted...

If you don't do it, you will regret it the rest of your life. Trust me, regrets way a lot more than embarrassing moments of being turned down. Not only that, but she wouldn't be talking to you, on a dating app, for a week, if she had no interest in going on a date. Just be casual, play it cool, don't act desperate, and don't act like she owes it to you. You will be fine.

Oh, I'm doing it alright. In a few minutes. I guess.

Problem is it's now 1:30 AM over here, so the longer I wait the creepier it will look? I suppose?
---

You're over thinking everything.

This girl barely knows you.
Even if she rejects you, she's only rejecting you based on a few messages and profile.
It's not like she's known you her whole life and basing it on that.

There's probably guys that have sent way worse messages than you, so it's not like it's the end of the world if she doesn't respond favorable.
---

@ArchangelBaruch
Pushy>Soft

It's the most effective route to getting your feeling across. If you play too soft, you'll become predictable. (you'll just be like the majority of guys hitting on girls.)

Besides, asking directly with zero flavoring will net you an yes or no response. You want her thinking about more than just the outing.

Boom. Sent. Don't care anymore. At least until she answers in 8 hours or so.

I guess if she says yes it'll be time to obsessively search online "what to talk about on first dates" or something.

I'll keep you gentlemen updated.
---

CapnMuffin posted...

Back in my day we asked girls in person for their number and then called over the phone. Now that's nerve wracking.

worse was when you had to call a landline and you prayed the person answering didnt interrogate you before handing the phone over
---

Albel-Nox posted...

@ArchangelBaruch
Pushy>Soft

It's the most effective route to getting your feeling across. If you play too soft, you'll become predictable. (you'll just be like the majority of guys hitting on girls.)

Besides, asking directly with zero flavoring will net you an yes or no response. You want her thinking about more than just the outing.

Don't listen to this dude. Pushy and soft are both bad ways. Be direct and honest, but don't act like she owes you anything or that you are trying to pursue anything more than a coffee date. You have to get to know each other first before anyone should start to think about 'more than just the outing'. Don't play stupid games.

It's an automatic no if you never send her a message.
---

Returning_CEmen posted...

It's an automatic no if you never send her a message.

it's also an automatic no if you aren't 6'3" with a 6 figure salary

CharlesBronson posted...

Returning_CEmen posted...

It's an automatic no if you never send her a message.

it's an automatic no if you don't have aren't 6'3" with a 6 figure salary

In this topic; Ugly people never get together.

Tag
---

halomonkey1_3_5 posted...

CapnMuffin posted...

Back in my day we asked girls in person for their number and then called over the phone. Now that's nerve wracking.

worse was when you had to call a landline and you prayed the person answering didnt interrogate you before handing the phone over

Yeah, sometimes guys had to call a few times just because someone will answer, says she's not there when she really is, and never relay the message.

Before everyone had a personalized communicating device, getting ahold of people was whack.

I just realized that the way I worded the topic title it feels like I'm going to commit suicide or something. Oh well.
---

Dash_Harber posted...

Albel-Nox posted...

@ArchangelBaruch
Pushy>Soft

It's the most effective route to getting your feeling across. If you play too soft, you'll become predictable. (you'll just be like the majority of guys hitting on girls.)

Besides, asking directly with zero flavoring will net you an yes or no response. You want her thinking about more than just the outing.

Don't listen to this dude. Pushy and soft are both bad ways. Be direct and honest, but don't act like she owes you anything or that you are trying to pursue anything more than a coffee date. You have to get to know each other first before anyone should start to think about 'more than just the outing'. Don't play stupid games.

It's a dating app. Not person to person.

Unless TC looks like Sephiroth, she's not gonna look twice.

Albel-Nox posted...

Dash_Harber posted...

Albel-Nox posted...

@ArchangelBaruch
Pushy>Soft

It's the most effective route to getting your feeling across. If you play too soft, you'll become predictable. (you'll just be like the majority of guys hitting on girls.)

Besides, asking directly with zero flavoring will net you an yes or no response. You want her thinking about more than just the outing.

Don't listen to this dude. Pushy and soft are both bad ways. Be direct and honest, but don't act like she owes you anything or that you are trying to pursue anything more than a coffee date. You have to get to know each other first before anyone should start to think about 'more than just the outing'. Don't play stupid games.

It's a dating app. Not person to person.

Unless TC looks like Sephiroth, she's not gonna look twice.

Lol, this guy is seriously trolling you, don't listen to him.

Albel-Nox posted...

Unless TC looks like Sephiroth

lmao what the actual fuck
---

ASithLord7 posted...

Albel-Nox posted...

Unless TC looks like Sephiroth

lmao what the actual fuck

You really need to step up your dating game these days, you know.

Fortunately I had this 6ft katana lying around when I took my profile pic.
---

You got this!! Today's your day! It's your time!! It'll be fun you won't regret asking her. Let us know how the date goes!
---

ArchangelBaruch posted...

Boom. Sent. Don't care anymore. At least until she answers in 8 hours or so.

I guess if she says yes it'll be time to obsessively search online "what to talk about on first dates" or something.

I'll keep you gentlemen updated.

Now would be a good time to chat other girls.
Not only will this distract you from waiting for the reply, it will give you a head start in case the other falls through.

I'm not saying try to get some side girls going, I'm only saying get some other prospects in.
The western dating market is very competitive to those not in the top percentile of men.
So to make up for it, get yourself out there as much as you can.
---

GodotBlend_107 posted...

ArchangelBaruch posted...

Boom. Sent. Don't care anymore. At least until she answers in 8 hours or so.

I guess if she says yes it'll be time to obsessively search online "what to talk about on first dates" or something.

I'll keep you gentlemen updated.

Now would be a good time to chat other girls.
Not only will this distract you from waiting for the reply, it will give you a head start in case the other falls through.

I'm not saying try to get some side girls going, I'm only saying get some other prospects in.
The western dating market is very competitive to those not in the top percentile of men.
So to make up for it, get yourself out there as much as you can.

In the 6 months I've been using this app, I've only messaged girls first twice. Didn't get any replies for either.

I've been messaged first around 20 times, but other than this girl and another one a couple of weeks ago I wasn't even remotely interested in the girls (I know, beggars can't be choosers). The other girl disappeared after 4 messages.

So, even if this doesn't work out I'll just wait until I message someone else. It's not like I'm in a hurry for getting a girlfriend.
---

What do you look like?
---

Good luck fam
---

vbty3 posted...

What do you look like?

https://www.okcupid.com/profile/archbaruch

The photo is pretty bad, but my phone's main camera doesn't work so I had to use a backup. I don't really have fun-dynamic-liveloving Facebook photos to use.

I've been meaning to replace it for months, but can't think about a good photo to take. Seems to be kind of working I guess.

Also I've been told that my profile is way longer than the average guy (insert innuendo here), but I don't mind being wordy.
---

From the thumbnail you're pretty dang good looking and multilingual. You got this. Definitely try to get some pics out and about/have friends take some but meh, from what I can see you have no reason to doubt yourself
---

ArchangelBaruch posted...

In the 6 months I've been using this app, I've only messaged girls first twice. Didn't get any replies for either.

I've been messaged first around 20 times, but other than this girl and another one a couple of weeks ago I wasn't even remotely interested in the girls (I know, beggars can't be choosers). The other girl disappeared after 4 messages.

So, even if this doesn't work out I'll just wait until I message someone else. It's not like I'm in a hurry for getting a girlfriend.

You can send literally hundreds of messages online and not get a reply.
There's just too many thirsty guys online filling up every decent looking girl's inbox.
It's not about an urgency, it's about playing the odds.

But still, as long as you're not too serious about it, that is the best way to approach.
I wish you luck in the future.
---

You say whatever comes to your mind huh? Doesn't seem like it
---

You should have no trouble with girls tbh
---

Kazi1212 posted...

You say whatever comes to your mind huh? Doesn't seem like it

Keyword being "say". Writing is another story, I'm pretty much the opposite.
---

ASithLord7 posted...

Albel-Nox posted...

Unless TC looks like Sephiroth

lmao what the actual fuck

Never swiped left.

ArchangelBaruch posted...

vbty3 posted...

What do you look like?

https://www.okcupid.com/profile/archbaruch

The photo is pretty bad, but my phone's main camera doesn't work so I had to use a backup. I don't really have fun-dynamic-liveloving Facebook photos to use.

I've been meaning to replace it for months, but can't think about a good photo to take. Seems to be kind of working I guess.

Also I've been told that my profile is way longer than the average guy (insert innuendo here), but I don't mind being wordy.

I like your profile
---

Just woke up. No answer yet...
---

It's been.. <12 hours right? Not sure about the time over there. Give it a while, and definitely don't go hitting her up with a "plz respond." You put it out there, if she doesn't get back to you within a few days I'd just move on.

Find it a bit strange that you've never been on a date though. Do you just keep to yourself mostly? I was expecting a basement dwelling neckbeard but you're actually a decently attractive dude. Multilingual, good job, and your profile made you sound interesting/lively/funny. What's the deal with that?
---

Can you hold a phone conversation? I always find asking a girl our better over the phone never on a message
---

tag
---

She's already sensing your desperation.

Text her 'Your Loss' and bail