Board 8 > My friend battling cancer was put into Hospice yesterday.

(+) Yeah! (+)

Perhaps the most surreal moment of my life. I went through this with my dad, as well as my grandma, but this feels different. This man is in his 30s, with 2 young kids, and has impacted so many people in such a short time. It feels unfair. I visited him last night, and for the first time in my life, I saw him weak. But even now, it's not a normal weakness. They said he has a brain tumor that's apparently quite large, and he's still doing everything in his power to smile and have everyone around him smile. I'm not sure there's a single person in this world who has impacted me more than him, he gave me purpose, he was the stern, proud parent I didn't have, and I'm going to miss him immensely.

I've been all over the place the last 2 days with visiting and work, and I'm so afraid that the second I sit down and relax I'll shut down, I've done it before.

Just keep his family and those he's impacted in thoughts and prayers. The future looks incredibly uncertain.

I guess the moral of this story is don't be a father or father figure to me.
---

Sorry to hear all that Stevie, I certainly wouldn't affix the final line you wrote to yourself though, that's just gonna make you feel worse about the situation.

All the best to you.
---

shit, man. that's awful. Sorry to hear that :(

also what Menu said. I think the best thing you could do is pay it forward and be a positive force in his kids' lives.
---

Sorry, Stevie.

I honestly don't know what I can say.
---

:(

Really sorry to hear. Wishing you the best - let me know if you wanna talk.
---

unfortunately... hospice is not a very uncertain situation. everyone knows what's happening once they reach that level and you at least know that much. for now the focus will be on comfort. if you want to help him out then talk to his wife. at least, i assume he's married if he's got two kids. if she's gonna be a single mom with two kids that ain't easy and she will probably need some extra support, whether it's from the rest of her family, his family, or his friends. that's probably the best way you can help.
---

As a small ray of hope, when my nephew was 10 months old he got put into a children's hospice because he had a, thankfully incredibly rare, form of intestinal cancer. He was given months to live. Literally being fed through tubes, operations weekly until he became too weak to undergo more. An arm longs length of problems arising, spending his first two Christmas's in a hospital.

He's now 6, and aside from a colostomy bag is kicking ass. The same unfortunately can't be said for his mother my half sister, but that's another story.

Just I dunno, thought this might help a tiny bit I guess.
---

BlueCrystalTear posted...

:(

Really sorry to hear. Wishing you the best - let me know if you wanna talk.

---

I know how this feels. My sister was 34 when she died of cancer. I was 11 years younger than her, and was just going back to college after a false start a couple years earlier.

Mary was an incredibly dynamic woman who never had kids, but touched the lives of everyone she encountered. If this friend of yours is anything like my sister, the world is sorely in a worse place for having lost him. (He may not be gone yet, but he's already unplugged from society.)
---