Current Events > how do you feel about people who still see their Ex?

(+) Yeah! (+)

its a red flag to me imo. one of the things that'll make a person undateable

seeing as in "friends"(really 90% of the time it means they're still shagging), not "oh he's in my class but we don't really talk"
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Could it be...that I am just growing more cynical the longer that I'm at my job, having seen some of the worst in people? Or maybe I'm just very picky with women...
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The former.
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They can be good friends. I'm usually not interested in dating them though. Keeping the ex in the picture doesn't really say anything positive about their social awareness with new partners.
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You mean like if I was potentially going to be dating a girl and I found out her ex is still a good friend or something?

Huge, huge red flag. There was a time in my life where I wanted to be the "good boyfriend" and went along with something similar where I was okay with my gf being friends with a guy she used to be totally obsessed with and in love with but he rejected her. Of course she ends up obsessed with him again and dumps me to go follow him around and get rejected again.

So yeah, I'm never being the "good boyfriend" again.
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Majority of the time it won't end well.
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Bunch of needy weirdos without a spine if you ask me. I've known some.
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Anyone else that said no get kind of cold towards women if they discover that trait that makes them undateable when you previously considered them a potential partner?

I don't even mean to do it on purpose.. to other women in the office I'm always smiling, and talkative, and then when she talks to me I use short sentences and have an uncaring attitude. I didn't even respond to her text from last night but I do think it would have been slightly funny to put "I don't know, why don't you ask your Ex?"
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Leanaunfurled posted...

Majority of the time it won't end well.

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Red flag or not, it's not worth the trouble. Just move on.
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Obviously context is always key, but devoid of it it's a complete non-issue. People are capable of moving on. People are capable of breaking up amicably but not regretting breaking up. I'm still friends with an ex. I have no desire to be with them again.

I don't understand the issue.

Unless this is a case of people who can't stay friends with exes not believing that other people can do what they can't.
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Tells me they're too casual about stuff. I prefer people who actually take me seriously.
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ThePredominate posted...

Tells me they're too casual about stuff. I prefer people who actually take me seriously.

I don't understand. What is your logic?

If I just meet a girl I don't know what the dynamics between them are yet. After a feeling out period it could either turn out that there's something to worry about or there's nothing. The feeling out period could take a while, though... If it turns out that their relationship is beyond your comfort zone you've just lost some time and effort. So at the end of the day it's easier to just start a relationship with someone without that baggage. You generally waste less time this way.
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it's fully possible to stay just friends with an ex. hell i've done it
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My ex tried to be friends after we broke up. Inviting me out to dinner or bowling or whatever. I always said I was busy or no because I knew she would try to kiss me or something and make a big scene. Not worth the trouble.

After a while, she finally gets it and sends a text "I'm tired of trying to be your friend. If you want to change things, you know where to find me"

And I'm like...wtf? I have plenty of friends who I don't go out with, why would she be different.
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1NfamousACE_2 posted...

I always said I was busy or no because I knew she would try to kiss me or something and make a big scene. Not worth the trouble.

see that's the issue. both of you guys needed to be on the same page and respect each other's business

she clearly didn't
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It's complicated.
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It is a great thing. I am seeing mine today and I think she is falling for me all over again.
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Also you can't spell sex without ex.
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It needs to be 1400 hours already. This wait is painful as hell.
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plenty of women don't want their SO hanging with exes
they ain't much more reasonable about it either

and i agree with them


don't have to move to a different continent every time you break up, but you don't have to invite your ex to parties either...it's a middle finger to your partner
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NonDairyMiltank posted...

plenty of women don't want their SO hanging with exes
they ain't much more reasonable about it either

and i agree with them


don't have to move to a different continent every time you break up, but you don't have to invite your ex to parties either...it's a middle finger to your partner

it's an instinctive thing

if you're with someone and they're still hanging around the person they were boning and having a deep relationship with a few weeks/months/days ago, naturally you'd be defensive about them still associating with that person. And if you aren't then you just might be a cuck in the making
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So me and my ex hooked back up.
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