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Crazyman93 04/26/17 7:21:32 PM #1: |
http://worldnewsdailyreport.com/stuck-71-hours-in-an-elevator-man-kills-and-eats-his-wife-to-survive/
According to the Philadelphia Police Department, the partially devoured corpse of his wife was lying next to him when he was rescued after being stuck for three days in an elevator. And yes, there's a mug shot in the link. Jesus fucking hell, who let Florida man out of the state for a vacation? But seriously, how did NO ONE notice there was a broken elevator? --- let's lubricate friction material! ~nickels, Cars & Trucks ... Copied to Clipboard!
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NeonOctopus 04/26/17 7:22:47 PM #2: |
Crazyman93 posted...
the 300-lb man smfh, he could've survived way long without food >_> --- ... Copied to Clipboard!
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ssj-kenobi 04/26/17 7:23:02 PM #3: |
fucked up yo
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Milkman5 04/26/17 7:23:58 PM #4: |
NeonOctopus posted...
Crazyman93 posted...the 300-lb man likely addicted to gorging food ... Copied to Clipboard!
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this_is_wow_huh 04/26/17 7:24:01 PM #5: |
guy looks like a psycho, glad he is off the streets at least
--- this is still huh wow! ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Crazyman93 04/26/17 7:24:09 PM #6: |
NeonOctopus posted...
smfh, he could've survived way long without food >_> Food yes, water is the bigger problem. I wouldn't be surprised if his lawyers claim that dehydration messed with his state of mind. --- let's lubricate friction material! ~nickels, Cars & Trucks ... Copied to Clipboard!
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MakoReizei 04/26/17 7:24:21 PM #7: |
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QuantumScript 04/26/17 7:24:21 PM #8: |
damn wtf
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dirtycommunist 04/26/17 7:24:37 PM #9: |
Out at sea, stuck on a mountain, other things like that (and more than 3 fucking days!), ok. Do what you have to.
In a an elevator in a city? Nah dude, enjoy those 75 years. --- ***not actually a communist, only dirty on occasion ... Copied to Clipboard!
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LastTomorrow 04/26/17 7:24:39 PM #10: |
And now he's going to get prions
--- Waffle waffle waffle ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Frolex 04/26/17 7:24:44 PM #11: |
Crazyman93 posted...
But seriously, how did NO ONE notice there was a broken elevator? because its fake news you shitposter --- ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Darkman124 04/26/17 7:24:52 PM #12: |
NeonOctopus posted...
Crazyman93 posted...the 300-lb man the issue would be water not food --- And when the hourglass has run out, eternity asks you about only one thing: whether you have lived in despair or not. ... Copied to Clipboard!
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HBKick18 04/26/17 7:25:00 PM #13: |
Crazyman93 posted...
Starting to get desperate, the 300-lb man tried to pry the door open, planning to climb down the elevator shaft like Bruce Willis in Die Hard. lol --- Proud fan of the worst team in American professional sports history: the Chicago Cubs. ... Copied to Clipboard!
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KILBOTz 04/26/17 7:25:26 PM #14: |
Did they draw lots? If so, fair next. If not, the victims family should get to eat him in revenge.
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Zero_Destroyer 04/26/17 7:26:04 PM #15: |
literally fake news
--- Enjoy movies and television? Check out my blog! I do reviews and analyses. http://fictionrantreview.wordpress.com/ (The Force Awakens spoiler review up!) ... Copied to Clipboard!
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AugustAdoulin 04/26/17 7:26:19 PM #16: |
this is why you dont marry fat people. they'll eat you if you get trapped in an elevator with them. :(
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Crazyman93 04/26/17 7:28:02 PM #17: |
AugustAdoulin posted...
this is why you dont marry fat people. they'll eat you if you get trapped in an elevator with them. :( Now, if you live in Tornado Alley, do marry a fat person. It's like having your own mobile bathtub to hide in. --- let's lubricate friction material! ~nickels, Cars & Trucks ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Gamer99z 04/26/17 7:28:03 PM #18: |
Crazyman93 posted...
http://worldnewsdailyreport.com Seems legit... --- "You need to lay off the peanut-butthurt and u-jelly sandwiches" - Neon Octopus ... Copied to Clipboard!
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TheGoldenEel 04/26/17 7:28:08 PM #19: |
Zero_Destroyer posted...
literally fake news what i don't get is what is the purpose of the website? it says it's "satirical" but in what way? it's literally just a made-up news story --- The words of The Golden Eel have been revealed... Games: http://backloggery.com/wrldindstries302 \\ Music: http://www.last.fm/user/DrMorberg/ ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Dustin1280 04/26/17 7:28:51 PM #20: |
AugustAdoulin posted...
this is why you dont marry fat people. they'll eat you if you get trapped in an elevator with them. :( I actually lol'd when i read this. Nice --- Smash DS Code: 4554-0120-5368 SB4 Name: Roz RIP: Orlando of the Axe Karma: 1642 --he delivered! ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Frolex 04/26/17 7:29:37 PM #21: |
TheGoldenEel posted...
Zero_Destroyer posted...literally fake news the point is that morons will blast it all over social media and drive up their revenue --- ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Spidey5 04/26/17 7:30:05 PM #22: |
TheGoldenEel posted...
Zero_Destroyer posted...literally fake news Being yet another of the dozens of "satire" sites that already exists is super clever, funny, and original. --- ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Zikten 04/26/17 7:30:14 PM #23: |
NeonOctopus posted...
Crazyman93 posted...the 300-lb man but not water ... Copied to Clipboard!
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iLikeMtnDew 04/26/17 7:31:10 PM #24: |
http://worldnewsdailyreport.com/qatar-man-arrested-for-smuggling-bacon-in-his-anal-cavity/
lmao --- Cavaliers/Browns/Indians I don't like Mountain Dew ... Copied to Clipboard!
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JlM 04/26/17 7:31:58 PM #25: |
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Esrac 04/26/17 7:32:04 PM #26: |
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voldothegr8 04/26/17 7:33:45 PM #27: |
At least he'll be a rich prisoner.
--- Oda break tracker 2017- 3 (2) Super Mario Maker Profile: 1237-0000-0073-02FE ... Copied to Clipboard!
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KiwiTerraRizing 04/26/17 7:35:55 PM #28: |
This is in Boogie's future but it would be 5 minutes
--- Back in the Fam! ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Bluebomber182 04/26/17 7:41:37 PM #29: |
aint this a satire news site?
--- Not changing this sig until Jinder Mahal becomes WWE champ Started 4/24/17 ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Gamer99z 04/26/17 8:23:53 PM #30: |
TheGoldenEel posted...
Zero_Destroyer posted...literally fake news They know exactly what they're doing​, they expect idiots who just believe everything they read will mindlessly post it on social media and spread it around, getting them clicks and ad revenue. Then they claim to be "satire" as their cop out despite just being fabricated stories and not anything that's actually funny, clearly written, etc. Everyone wants to be The Onion. --- "You need to lay off the peanut-butthurt and u-jelly sandwiches" - Neon Octopus ... Copied to Clipboard!
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thronedfire2 04/26/17 8:25:23 PM #31: |
he should have just waited for her to die naturally
--- I could see you, but I couldn't hear you You were holding your hat in the breeze Turning away from me In this moment you were stolen... ... Copied to Clipboard!
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CableZL 04/26/17 8:25:34 PM #32: |
Well that's one way to eat the booty like groceries
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L0Z 04/26/17 8:40:24 PM #33: |
"Mr Franklin and his wife, Janet Willis, were coming back from the restaurant when they took an express elevator to reach their apartment on the 42nd floor."
Came back from a restaurant and still hungry. I clicked the link expecting a fatass and I was not disappointed ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Axiom 04/26/17 8:42:13 PM #34: |
He and Booty Tickler can share a cell
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Darmik 04/26/17 8:45:19 PM #35: |
Is he wearing his wife's scalp in that photo?
--- Kind Regards, Darmik ... Copied to Clipboard!
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#36 | Post #36 was unavailable or deleted. |
Trigg3rH4ppy 04/26/17 8:57:13 PM #38: |
kewldude475 posted...
"World daily news" Lots of gullible motherfuckers ITT did apparently. --- ~A little nonsense, now and then, is relished by the wisest men ~ TWSSted since~ 3/27/12 https://i.imgur.com/zlaENmx.png ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Gamer99z 04/26/17 9:00:15 PM #39: |
Oh and btw this is TC's gimmick, posting fake news stories like this. Not as easy to notice as some other gimmicks because he doesn't do it daily or anything, he just does it randomly.
--- "You need to lay off the peanut-butthurt and u-jelly sandwiches" - Neon Octopus ... Copied to Clipboard!
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#41 | Post #41 was unavailable or deleted. |
E32005 04/26/17 9:02:30 PM #42: |
holy shit this is straight out of a movie.
stranger than fiction, man --- ... Copied to Clipboard!
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GiftedACIII 04/26/17 9:02:36 PM #43: |
What should've tipped people off that it's fake is that no one had cell phones
--- </topic> ... Copied to Clipboard!
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scoobydoobydont 04/26/17 9:02:53 PM #44: |
kewldude475 posted...
Even without the source it looks hilariously fake. Like a movie script tbh. It does sound absurd, but there are some crazy people out there. --- ... Copied to Clipboard!
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faizan_faizan 04/26/17 9:02:58 PM #45: |
Of course he's fat
--- Allergic to bull****. ... Copied to Clipboard!
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FightingGames 04/26/17 9:03:34 PM #46: |
you could survive for 14 days without food
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Axiom 04/26/17 9:04:19 PM #47: |
Gamer99z posted...
Oh and btw this is TC's gimmick, posting fake news stories like this. Not as easy to notice as some other gimmicks because he doesn't do it daily or anything, he just does it randomly. To be fair if they saw this and didn't immediately wonder why the news wasn't filled with stories about the wife eating cannibal stuck in an elevator then they brought it on themselves I mean the pic has the guy wearing a noticeable bald cap ffs >_> ... Copied to Clipboard!
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KronoCloud 04/26/17 9:15:50 PM #48: |
The whole number 13 bit was overkill.
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au_gold 04/26/17 9:17:02 PM #49: |
That guy looks like Leatherface. Can't say I'm surprised.
--- Let me talk to your mother. Get your mother please. ... Copied to Clipboard!
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#50 | Post #50 was unavailable or deleted. |
Illuminoius 04/26/17 9:20:54 PM #51: |
read it as PAC-MAN
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Kimbos_Egg 04/26/17 9:36:10 PM #52: |
72 hours? really? i've gone a week without eating because i was ill, he couldn't handle 3 days?
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