Poll of the Day > Aubrey Plaza should have been cast as Spider-man.

(+) Yeah! (+)

The film would start off without explaining how Spiderman got his powers but show him stealing stuff for people. So the first 40 minutes will consist of the audience basically hating Spiderman. Maybe add some pedestrians having dialogue as well as building up Aubrey Plaza's character. * A reporters idea (possibly Aubrey Plaza has an idea for a hero called I love you man that goes around signing in sign language "I love you" to people rather than stealing stuff ). This is how Spiderman finds out he can shoot webs. * (part in *'s might be removed). So then Kraven the Hunter comes and fights with Spiderman. After a ten minute fight it seems like Kraven the Hunter is going to win. Then Handle This from Sum 41 plays and people expect a cheesy comeback by Spiderman. However Kraven impales and kills Spiderman (the reason this film will be rated R is because children would not appreciate the loss of life and cheer the death of gorey death of Spiderman I imagine). The story then cues to Japan for a story of a boy and his monster he has been hiding. The monster is spotted by the authorities and they decide to abduct/subdue it to the boy's dismay. They take the monster to New York City as a trap for Kraven the Hunter. The boy steals his parents money to buy a plane ticket to New York (or it could take place in Japan and him just steal money for a bus trip with Kraven going to find the monster rather than the monster being used as a trap I have not decided). The boy pleads Kraven the Hunter to leave the monster alone before taking a cop's gun and trying to shoot Kraven while the safety is on. Kraven throws a spear at the boy but the monster jumps in front. The police officer played by Seal (or a Japanese guy) tasers and subdues Kraven the Hunter. The monster merges inside of the boy as the boy holds the fading creature. Noone else notices and thinks the monster disappears. Then the post credits screen will be Aubrey Plaza signing I love you to a pedestrian that gives her the right away. Noticing a web on her car roof she says something like "I guess I am glad I swallow instead of spit" (implying she got the powers from giving the original spiderman a blowjob). This sets up the sequel where she works with the Japanese boy to find the necromonicon to try to resurrect spiderman. The Kangaroo (hopefully played by Josh Gad) could appear in that film and destroy the necromonicon thus confirming the permanent death of the previous spiderman and cementing Aubrey Plaza as imo the definitive spiderman even though it would be an alternate universe.

If that spin off was too R rated I have an idea for another spin off where Peter Parker is radioactive and bites a spider turning it into Man-spider and he becomes spiderman. Spiderman must fight manspider but the warning is that Man-spider can grant powers by biting stuff and can talk. Man-spider bites Aunt May and controls her to try to kill Peter Parker (spiderman). Eventually she resists and ends up fighting manspider as Peter Parker fights the guy that talked man-spider into killing Parker (Doctor Octopus). Doctor Octopus knocks Parker out but then a ton of spiders come and resurrect him with their tears. Then Aunt May and Man-Spider die, Doctor Octopus is subdued, and it becomes a happy ending. This would be the kids movie that proves I know what children want too.Hopefully this would be G although I guess it might be PG. There is no blood and the transformations have to look mystic rather than realistic so that it can be G maybe?

bump

*slow clap*
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This is actually more realistic to the comics than Amazing Spiderman.
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Lmao

Aubrey Plaza is hot because she's so scary

Gives me a fear boner

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LKfiDJvu9lc
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RFC22 posted...

This is actually more realistic to the comics than Amazing Spiderman.

It is what the fans want. Sony is crazy to deny me my vision. I could be Spiderman pre-Plaza. As I think me getting impaled would please many and a vague reference to getting a blow job is as close to sex as I am going to get.

does she do a topless shot showing off how big his abs and muscle got after the transfermation. and i'm talking about full on topless and not training bra topless.

you got to keep the tradition alive.
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Muffinz0rz posted...

Aubrey Plaza is hot because she's so scary

Gives me a fear boner

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LKfiDJvu9lc

I do not think I could have sex with her though out of sheer reverence of her performance on Legion. I think in order to have sex with someone I have to degrade them.

I have not yet pitched my idea to Sony but am mad that they are not showing up with bags of money.
ernieforss posted...

how big his abs and muscle got after the transfermation. and i'm talking about full on topless and not training bra topless.

you got to keep the tradition alive.

What if she could shoot webs out her nipples? Thanks for the idea :D

The second scenario could be a black spiderman I do not plan on killing him off either. Or it could be a Jewish or Japanese spiderman that bites the spider. See I know what black people want and can eliminate racism against blacks, jews, etc through spiderman.

<What if she could shoot webs out her nipples? Thanks for the idea :D>

Well, you got to keep it real, so that's a no no in my books. i'm not a big fan of organic web slinging. I like tech geek spiderman more.
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ernieforss posted...

<What if she could shoot webs out her nipples? Thanks for the idea :D>

Well, you got to keep it real, so that's a no no in my books. i'm not a big fan of organic web slinging. I like tech geek spiderman more.

You are right, on second thought that is a stupid overly risque idea. Glad to have you around.

The more I thought about it the more the idea turned me off of it too. It would be very hard to capture on film without looking ridiculous. Maybe it can be organic and artificial webbing?