Current Events > My dad needs me to wire him $126. Chances I get my money back?

(+) Yeah! (+)

My dad called and said his wallet was stolen, and he needs $126 to pay a bill by tomorrow. I'm going to wire him the money after I get off work.

The last time my dad "sent me money" was for what I think was my 25th birthday. The check bounced, and I had to pay a fee because of that. He then "sent me more money," but it was actually just an empty envelope. I told him not to send me any more money after that.

So uhh... What are the chances I'm actually going to see this $126 ever again?
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Never give money to family expecting it to be a lend. Consider it a gift.
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Gojak_v3 posted...

Never give money to family expecting it to be a lend. Consider it a gift.

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is your dad a nigerian prince
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CableZL posted...

So uhh... What are the chances I'm actually going to see this $126 ever again?

0, because

CableZL posted...

I told him not to send me any more money after that.

He knows you don't want him sending you money, so he won't

Even if his wallet was stolen, how can he not pay his bill tomorrow then?

And as stared earlier, either gift the money, or don't give anything at all. If you are expecting him to pay back, you'll end up dissapointed and in arguements.
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Gojak_v3 posted...

Never give money to family expecting it to be a lend. Consider it a gift.

If I've learned anything from Judge Judy, it's that.
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Man don't lend your dad money. Come on now.
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I fully understand that I'm never going to see the money again. I just wanted to make a topic with percentage options to see what people think. I'm bored at work right now.
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You're better than me. No way is he getting that
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Holy shit your dad is a boss sends his son an empty envelope lmao

Tb serious tho what's his problem
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i wonder what it's like to have the type of family relationship where you're forced to raise questions in money-related matters.

if my parents had money to give and i asked for it, they'd give it to me in a heartbeat, but i don't ask because i know they don't really have much.

brother has no problems asking though but usually pays back... somehow.

i remember i lent him what amounts to close to $3000~ in order to open his store and i got the money back several years later split across two payments of an additional year or so lol.
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The empty envelop could have been someone during the mail chain stealing it. Hence you are always adviced to never send cash in the mail.

Also, don't expect your money back but you should definitely lend him the money. It is not thaaaat much money and besides he is your dad, he paid everything for you while you were a kid so it is not like he is trying to take advantage of youn
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samurai bandit posted...

he paid everything for you while you were a kid

Nah, he didn't My mom did. My parents split when I was about 1. His fault for a number of reasons.
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It's your dad, man. I'm sure he's done alot more for you growing up.
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Beat that old man savagely for stealing from you
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i voted 60% by accident. i meant to vote 10.
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ShinigamiSoul posted...

It's your dad, man. I'm sure he's done alot more for you growing up.

I wouldn't be so sure of that.
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Send him an empty envelope this time.

He can see how it feels
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itachi15243 posted...

Send him an empty envelope this time.

He can see how it feels

lmao, that'd be cold blooded
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itachi15243 posted...

Send him an empty envelope this time.

He can see how it feels

Ooooo good idea
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Well... I'm gonna do it.

I feel like this is a terrible idea, but I'm gonna do it.
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-l___________l- posted...

the envelope? or sending him money?

Sending him money
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Do not give him any money, he has proven that he will never pay you back, his problems for finances are just that his not yours.
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Such a weird amount.

Personally I'd send it. You would have to hope that this won't turn into a habit. Nothing worse than a family member asking for money on a consistent basis
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Maeiv posted...

Such a weird amount.

Personally I'd send it. You would have to hope that this won't turn into a habit. Nothing worse than a family member asking for money on a consistent basis

Yeah, I definitely will make sure this is a one time thing.
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itachi15243 posted...

Send him an empty envelope this time.

He can see how it feels

This is a great idea, you should do this topic creator.
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just get him a gift card to the liquor store instead since that's where your 126 bucks are going
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tell him you'll pay it online if you really want to.

you dont have to give him the money
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Offworlder1 posted...

itachi15243 posted...

Send him an empty envelope this time.

He can see how it feels

This is a great idea, you should do this topic creator.

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God damn it

He's f***ing lying to me about what it's for. He's telling me his wallet got stolen. I asked him if I can just pay the bill online as spudger suggested. He says he has to pay it in person. Then I asked him who he has to pay so I can try to find their web site. Then he says it's for gas for the rest of the month.

God damn it

I hate this s***
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CableZL posted...

God damn it

He's f***ing lying to me about what it's for. He's telling me his wallet got stolen. I asked him if I can just pay the bill online as spudger suggested. He says he has to pay it in person. Then I asked him who he has to pay so I can try to find their web site. Then he says it's for gas for the rest of the month.

God damn it

I hate this s***

honestly i feel really sorry for you, you have always seemed like a nice dude on here and it really sucks you have had to grow up with a real piece of shit for a father
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CableZL posted...

God damn it

He's f***ing lying to me about what it's for. He's telling me his wallet got stolen. I asked him if I can just pay the bill online as spudger suggested. He says he has to pay it in person. Then I asked him who he has to pay so I can try to find their web site. Then he says it's for gas for the rest of the month.

God damn it

I hate this s***

Yet more reason for empty evelope idea. He is either a shitty person or involved with shitty people, neither good
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@CableZL
Then don't give him any money, it is a con he is trying to pull, tell him to go fuck himself and be done with it.
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f***, man
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Welp... I voted 0.
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Mail him an empty envelope and tell him you sent it

He doesn't even have his ID to receive the money. I asked him if he did since he said his wallet was stolen, and apparently all he has is some kind of copy of his ID. Of course they aren't going to accept that crap.

smh
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When I was in the Army maybe once every 2 or 3 months my sister would call me asking for about $100 to help cover rent or a visit to the vet for her dog or some random unexpected thing.

Turned out she was buying hard drugs and I learned about it when I came back on leave and she was back living at home with my parents going through withdrawals. She basically got clean, got back on drugs, and finally got clean for a final time over the next few years after I found out but I've never sent her money again (and when she was back on the drugs you better believe she asked for $).

Turns out she had done the same thing to my parents far more frequently but I was just her fallback when they said no.

To be honest if this the very first time he has asked you for cash I would give it to him. If it becomes a pattern I would cut him off even if you can afford to do it.
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I'm really struggling to not blow up at my dad at this point. So... He says his wallet was stolen. Fine.

1. In order to pick up money from such a money transfer, you need to provide your ID. I asked him if he has his ID. He said yes.
2. He needs $126, but there are extra fees that mean I need to pay $143 to send him $126. This is dumb as hell. If he really just needs a bill paid, I can just pay $126 for him. He doesn't understand s*** about anything at all related to technology, so he doesn't understand paying bills online. He has terrible credit, so he doesn't understand paying bills via credit card (or debit card treated used as a credit card).

3. He DIDN'T have his ID when he went to pick the money up last night (wallet was stolen, this is what I thought would happen originally). He only had some kind of copy of it that they wouldn't accept. He had some lady helping him who had HER ID. So what I had to do was cancel the original transaction and put the money transfer in HER name so that SHE could receive the money and give it to him. I went to cancel the transaction, then called her back to get her information for the money transfer. When I called her back, she said he f***ing LEFT. AL;DFJA;SLDFKJA;LSDFKJALS;DFJASL;FDHALGF I'll get my $143 back in 10 business days.

4. He calls me this morning saying to resend the money in his name because some lady who works at the store is going to vouch for his identity. I went ahead and did it. I'm now down $246 until I get the other money back in 10 business days.

5. He gets to the store and the lady who was going to vouch for him is gone. He wanted me to cancel the SECOND money transfer and put it in some OTHER friend's name who is now helping him. God damn it. So then I had to cancel the SECOND one and do a THIRD one. I'm now down $429 ($143 after 10 business days from now) just so my dad can have $126.

This is absolutely the last first and last time I'm giving him a f***ing dime directly. Shit.

I'm so glad I started saving money up years ago. If I was still living paycheck to paycheck, I essentially would have just had to tell him to go shove it because I wouldn't have $400+ to spare like this. Maybe that would have been a better thing to do in this situation any way.

Oh well.
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Your dad taking you for a ride lmao
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BatmanVonDoom posted...

Your dad taking you for a ride lmao

That's my suspicion. I have plenty of money saved up, though, and this is a one time deal. I'm not going through this crap every again with him.
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can the other ladies come back and still get it? or are they guaranteed cancelled?
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I have family members like that man so I understand. Years ago I personally stopped lending people money, don't care your relation to me. It's the most liberating thing ever, don't feel bad about it.
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prettyprincess posted...

can the other ladies come back and still get it? or are they guaranteed cancelled?

They're guaranteed cancelled. I've got confirmations of the two cancellations via email. Just sucks that it'll take 10 business days to get that money back.
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On the positive side, my dad's story about his wallet being stolen is holding true at least. He wasn't exactly in a hurry to get the money last night and didn't have his ID, so I'm of the opinion that that part of the story is true.

What he needs the money for is still kinda up in the air, though.
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Probably no chance, but it could happen.

The only time I've ever been surprised by a situation like this was with my girlfriend and her mom. My girl sent over $3,000 and her mom actually paid it all back and some extra within three months-- and this is coming from someone who is flaky as hell too.

PokeRocksUSA posted...

Probably no chance, but it could happen.

The only time I've ever been surprised by a situation like this was with my girlfriend and her mom. My girl sent over $3,000 and her mom actually paid it all back and some extra within three months-- and this is coming from someone who is flaky as hell too.

I've literally never heard of that happening. The story is usually that the lendee finds some reason not to pay, something else came up, just being a jackass and not caring, etc. Good on her.
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@CableZL
You never should have given him money at all, your now out almost $500 all because you did not listen to people saying "he is a con, he is BSing you" and "don't give him a damn thing".

If a parent or relative actually needs money for a bill they will send the bill so you can pay it or ask you to come by, pick up the bill and pay it right then and there.

Sorry but you were acting the fool and had to learn the hard way.
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