Current Events > i feel like my life is over.

(+) Yeah! (+)

on saturday i turned 31. ive been "depressed" for years but this is something else. im stuck in a dead end job. i dont really like hanging out with friends anymore. i dont really like any of the things i used to like anymore. people tell me i should just go travelling or something but they dont understand that i have to keep working to support my sick father. there was a girl once. sort of. she gave me hope, but she's gone now too.

how do i get better
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Video games and weed
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This is quite a lot like my life.

How are chickenboy, Narco, and technocloak?

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Exercise
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The cure to being stuck in a dead end job is finding yourself a side-hustle.

Not for the purpose of getting you out of the dead end job, but rather to just give yourself some other source of fulfillment, no matter how small.

ReedRothchiId posted...

Exercise

i do
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Marvo Rocks posted...

ReedRothchiId posted...

Exercise

i do

How much?
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Sorry to hear that you're feeling this way and that your father is sick.

I don't know, but I'd like to offer the following:

A big development for me lately is the use of a bright light lamp (a 10,000 lux Carex model) in the morning. It and blue blocking, which I began doing a few years ago with f.lux and orange safety glasses, have enabled me to maintain a normal sleep schedule, and more importantly to get restful sleep. I'm currently on a career track in an occupation where I supervise anywhere from 10 to 50 people, which I could not have foreseen during the long stretch of time when I was under- or unemployed and in search of any kind of relief. The effect of timed bright light exposure on my sleep (feeling tired at night, waking up on my own 7-8 hours later) is reminiscent of what I went through, and what made me fanatical at the time, when I went through an unsustainable raw vegan kick in 2008 and 2009. I believe that those acute episodes of semi-starvation that I experienced back then exerted temporary changes in sleep architecture that are similar to those that are produced in a more lasting fashion by my use of the light box.

I'll continue to work out, maintain low body fat, eat well, and so on, but for me, this light thing has had a more immediate and noticeable effect on my perceived health and my daily life than any of that. Maybe you can get something from it, too.
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